04/28: The Rowland Heights / City of Industry area has been insane lately! In the past four days, I've seen over a dozen exotics (and shot most of them). Monday's lunch break was supposed to be spent relaxing in my car and finishing my BSF homework, until a Viper SRT-10 blew past me - a truly rare sight, especially in this predominantly Asian community. The journey to shoot it also led to catching a Gallardo at a gas station. By the time I got the footage of it taking off, lunch break was over. Tuesday was a busy day at the office, so I only had about 10 minutes to take my walk. Those 10 minutes happened to be exactly when a GT-R pulled into the parking lot of the bank across the street. There were some nice surprises after work too, but I'll save those for later. Yesterday, I caught a pair of Maseratis - a 4200 Coupe and a beefed-up Granturismo S - parked only a few feet away from each other. And I saw three Mercedes S65 AMG's... except two of them have been confirmed as fakes (why would anyone do such a thing??), and the third one, which I believe is real, escaped my camera. Today, in the same parking lot, there were two Flying Spurs and a Porsche 993 with a RUF kit. I'm truly amazed at how many people around here have time to hang out and drive around on weekdays when most people are at work, and still have the means of buying cars costing six-digit figures.

But anyway, back to Tuesday after work. As usual, since I had an hour of tutoring followed by the long commute to BSF with only about 10 minutes to swing by home and eat dinner, I wasn't planning on making any detours - that is, until my eyes were drawn to a small "Skittles Effect" - the sighting of various brightly colored exotic cars together.

04/24: "He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces, he was despised, and we esteemed him not" (Isaiah 53:2-3).

Even though I know that Jesus lived a perfect life and died an undeservedly cruel death, it never really clicked in me that the God of the universe could actually experience suffering the way we do. I often find myself under the false impression that Jesus was some kind of superhuman who died gladly and willingly, knowing that it was his purpose, and that it was easy for him to bear the pain because of his divine nature. But a great part of Jesus' purpose of being on earth involved suffering beyond anything I've experienced. First of all, he was not physically attractive. Like an antisocial kid in elementary school, he was frequently the victim of mocking. Not only that, but he was greatly hated. The crowds often rejected him, and even his closest companions (his disciples) betrayed him in many ways. All of these things only increased as he embarked on the journey that led to the Cross. He experienced physical abuse, emotional distress, verbal mocking, unfair punishent, abandonment by his friends, rejection by the world, and just about every other form of pain possible. Why would a perfect God send His son, who is essentially Himself, to go through so much pain?

"He was piered for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all" (Isaiah 53:5-6).

From the moment sin first entered the world, there was a big problem. God, because He is perfect and holy, cannot tolerate evil. But God loved the people He created so much that He did not want to see them suffer the inevitable consequences of sin. In His holiness, He couldn't just ignore the issue of sin as if nothing ever happened. In other words, in order for sinful people to have a right relationship with Him, someone had to suffer for those sins - someone who was himself blameless and worthy of paying the price. And it wasn't enough for Jesus to just fall from heaven, die right away, and return to heaven. In order to die a human death, Jesus had to first live a human life - one which involved every form of suffering known to mankind.

The story doesn't end there. We've all heard the rest of the Easter story - Jesus' death was so undeserved that he was resurrected, proving that even death has no power over him. His mission was complete; he not only returned to heaven, but opened the doors so that we too can be there. What an amazing privledge it is to be reunited with our creator in eternal paradise! And not only so, but we can live our lives on earth with true hope and peace, knowing that our destiny goes beyond the grave and we live for a purpose that will last forever, even when everything on earth today ceases to exist.

To deny the power of the Cross is to assume that we can live fulfilling lives by our own abilities alone - a very tragic decision, considering how weak we as humans really are, even though we don't like to admit it. We work so hard to get into a good college or a good job when the ultimate decision isn't even in our hands. We try to accumulate wealth, when in the end it is all subject to theft or destruction. We build empires that collapse in mere seconds when a natural disaster strikes. We invest in relationships, but there's nothing we can do to prevent that day when either we will leave our loved ones behind, or they will leave us first. God has blessed us with so many things on earth, and He commands us to make the most out of all of those things. But in the end, is anything really completely in our control?

Sometimes the truth is so clear that I find it hard to believe that anyone would reject it. But in reality, I often turn away from God, choosing rather to focus on my problems and find my own solutions. The poor rejoice when they receive riches. The sick rejoice when they are healed. The lost rejoice when they find their way. Yet many times we know deep inside that we are in need because of our imperfections, but refuse to accept Christ's eager desire to fill those needs. No matter what I do, I cannot bring life entirely under my control, or make things go exactly as I want them to. But God not only created us and has control over all things, but also loves us so much that He willingly sent Jesus to suffer in our place. He didn't just sit up there in heaven and wait for us to notice that He loves us; He loves us so much that He took initiative to restore our broken relationships with Him. Sometimes I'm so caught up in the many problems in my life that I lose focus on God. But that's exactly how people during Jesus' time were, yet he still paid the price for them. No matter how far I run from God, whether intentionally or unintentionally, it is never too far for Him to reach me with His loving arms and draw me back to Him, forgiving me of my wrongs and encouraging me to not give up.

All the suffering and pain that Jesus experienced was meant for sinners. In other words, it's the kind of punishment really intended for me, whether here on earth or in eternity. But because of God's unfathomably great love, we don't have to face that punishment. It really makes me sad to see how many people - even Christians - blow off Easter as a day no different from any other or an old story that's been told far too many times. There's a great message behind the story, one that answers our hearts' deepest desires and gives our lives new meaning and purpose. We are not only free from having to suffer the punishment for sinners before a holy God, but also granted the great privledge of spending eternity celebrating the unquenchable joy and contentment of being in His presence. Even though Easter may seem more or less like an ordinary day, it can still give us a chance to remember what believing in God is really all about. And that alone is something to be thankful for. Jesus Christ defeated death, and in doing so gave us a new life. Let's remember to celebrate this great news and let it impact the way we live our lives.

04/23: The end of another adventure at UCLA. This was a rather short trip, since the first half of the day was spent attending BSF's seminar and eating lunch with a few friends there. But I had to come today even though I would only be here for a few hours. I realized that with my extremely busy weekend schedule these next couple months, plus the typical end-of-the-schoolyear busyness that will make everyone here no less busy than I will be, I had to plan a visit right away, knowing that this visit would very likely be my last for this schoolyear.

As crazy as it seems, I've visited UCLA over two dozen times since I graduated. These visits have themselves become an amazing chapter of the story of my life at UCLA. Looking back now, the best thing about these visits has always been the opportunity to hear my friends' stories of how they've changed and grown and share my own stories with them. Sometimes I come to visit UCLA with the intention of setting an example of a positive and passionate post-college life. But over time, I came to realize that while it was great to be able to encourage people I care about, it was wrong of me to assume I was stronger or wiser than they were just because they were still in school. Just like each year of my college career, my post-graduation visits were filled with new lessons to learn. On these visits, I've been blessed by people, and I've been hurt by people. I've come to see how much some friends care for me, and I've also realized how selfish others can be, and through these experiences I began to evaluate my own heart so that I could do my best to treat others the way I would like to be treated. I will never forget that it was here at UCLA that I was prompted to begin the period of inner transformation that completely changed my attitudes and priorities around this time last year. That only serves to remind me that no matter how many years it's been since I graduated, there's always more room to grow and learn.

My feelings are mixed right now; even though I'm very excited and happy, I can't help but realize that my friends who are graduating this June are those who I met during my final quarter as a student at UCLA. That quarter was truly an amazing, unforgettable story, and the friends I met during that time will always have a very special place in my heart. I've been very blessed to have been able to commit to these friends for all four years of their college careers, and I wish and pray that they will trust in God to lead them after graduation and to write amazing stories in their lives just as He does in mine. But knowing that I may never be able to see these friends as a group together again, I can't help but grieve over the possible disappearance of such a beautiful picture.

Still, God has His plans for everything. And right now, there's only one thing I know for sure. I'll be back to visit UCLA again someday, and there's no question about it. I may not be able to fill up an entire day's worth of activities, but I've learned that friendship is not supposed to be about quantity. I've reached the point where there will soon be no one here whose college career actually overlapped with mine at one point, other than those who decide to stick around the area for work or grad school. Even if I have to come out here just to sit by myself to reflect and pray, it will still be well worth it. I've always wondered about how this epic story of my life at UCLA will actually end. But the more I'm drawn back to visit, the more I'm starting to see that maybe this story was never meant to have an end. This place has clearly changed my life in countless ways, and it continues to do so each time I visit. My relationship with the campus and the people here have changed dramatically over the years, but I know that God is the same now as He was when I was in college, and He will always be the same loving God, eager for me to surrender my pen to Him so He could write His amazing stories in my life. With that in mind, I can't possibly ask for anything better.

04/20: Whenever I compare something to my life in college, it's almost always a very good thing. Looking back now, even some of the more difficult and frustrating parts of college - midterms and finals, long lines to get smoothies during peak hours, drunk people screaming in the hallways when I'm trying to sleep - are good memories, simply because they contributed greatly to shaping my overall college experience. Now that I've been out of school for a while and am living a rather typical post-college life that revolves around working in an office, there aren't many things around me that remind me of college, other than the fact that good food serves as an excellent way for my co-workers and I to bond. But every once in a while, something strikes me as so familiar that, for a moment, I feel as if I were still a student at UCLA.

That's what happened this afternoon. I had just returned to work for about half an hour after eating lunch when suddenly a loud noise began blaring in the hallway. My co-worker had just picked up a phone call, and when I heard him say "I'll call you back - fire alarm!!", I knew it was for real. A few seconds later, we were all in the stairwell heading toward the exit four floors below us. For those who remember, yes, this was the same stairwell I swore I would never set foot in again (see 12/06/2010 entry). Except this time, I had a very good excuse to push open the emergency exit door. We had no idea what to expect when we made it out - perhaps there would be fire trucks surrounding the building, and perhaps there would be thick smoke and flames shooting out from one of the windows. Apparently even those who have been with our company the longest had never experienced an evacuation, so as we reached the exit door and made it to broad daylight, we were all prepared for a surprise.

I guess it was somewhat surprising to find that, other than the fact that everybody in the building was standing outside in the parking lot, things looked exactly as they did when I took my lunchtime walk not too long ago. There were no flames, no fire trucks, no police cars... people chatted with their friends and lit their cigarettes like nothing happened. But given that this is an office building and not a dormitory, it's unlikely that the fire alarm would suddenly malfunction and go off on its own. There had to be something that triggered the alarm, and very soon we found out exactly what it was.

A microwave. Apparently somebody on the floor above us had a little too much fun heating up his lunch. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but either the microwave exploded or whatever was inside caught on fire. Either way, the smoke detector was triggered, and everybody had to stop what they were doing and flee the building. If I had decided to close my eyes for a moment then, I would have sworn that I was living in the UCLA dorms, and it was around 4:00 in the morning. Except this time there were no RA's patrolling each room to make sure nobody was hiding. And even though it's always a little annoying to be interrupted in the middle of doing something, I'm pretty sure we all enjoyed the chance to get away from our desks and computers and soak in a little sunshine.

We were quite fortunate that there wasn't actually a major catastrophe. A few minutes after the evacuation, the alarms stopped ringing and the elevators started to function again, so we were able to return to work and get everything done while feeling a little more awake than before. Still, there was one piece of the puzzle left missing - what exactly was the guy on the fifth floor trying to heat up? Perhaps it was some leftover rice from last night's dinner, or perhaps it was a bowl of instant noodles. I guess I'll never be able to know for sure. But with the whole idea of microwaves leading to fire alarms ringing already fresh in my head, I might as well try to complete the puzzle in my mind. So unless I find out otherwise, I'm going to assume that it was popcorn - you know, just for old time's sake. In a professional setting like this office building, people may constantly feel the pressure to act, look, and sound mature. But when it comes to little things in life such as operating a microwave, I guess some people really never grow up!

04/16: I can still clearly remember the last time I went car spotting in Beverly Hills about a month ago; even though I was already planning to spend a couple hours there in the afternoon, I set aside an extra hour or so to be there in the morning also, because there was one particular car I wanted to catch in action - a one-of-a-kind black and yellow Bugatti Veyron, the latest addition to an amazing collection owned by a famous menswear designer. I don't think I can ever forget that moment when the Veyron appeared in the horizon, exactly where I had hoped to see it. I had already filmed several of the owner's other cars in the past, but none of them left me speechless the way this one did. I left Beverly Hills that day fully content, knowing that I had just filmed one of the most expensive and most unique cars in the world.

Little did I know, though, that it would be the last time I would ever see Bijan and his cars again. Just earlier this evening, I discovered the shocking news that Bijan had passed away at the age of 67, after suffering a stroke earlier this week.

I rarely follow celebrity gossip or care about people just because they're famous, but somehow the knowledge of Bijan's passing really hit me deep in the heart. I had been photographing his cars long before I even heard of his name, and had met him several times in front of his store on Rodeo Drive. From the moment I discovered who he was, I was greatly interested in his unique approach to life, which was shown through the way he ran his business. For starters, visits to the Bijan store were by appointment only. In other words, ordinary shoppers in Beverly Hills weren't even allowed to step inside. It amazed me that such a business strategy could succeed. But Bijan's clients over the years have included presidents like Obama, kings and sultans from across the world, and countless Hollywood celebrities. During an interview at his store, the interviewer pointed at a picture of him with Paris Hilton and the Shah of Iran, laughing at how difficult it is to get the two together in the same photo. Yet Bijan had exactly what it took to bring them together.

Bijan's store on Rodeo Drive was often referred to as "the most expensive store in the world"; the average customer spent at least $10,000 per visit. The truth is that most people would probably recognize a Louis Vuitton bag as a status symbol more quickly than they would a coat by Bijan. But what attracted the customers to Bijan was exactly what he felt was the key to his success - "Exclusivity, quality, and respect". People all across the world from different cultures share a common desire to be unique and feel respected, and by recognizing those desires, Bijan not only succeeded as a businessman, but also had the honor of clothing tens of thousands of the most powerful and wealthy men in the world.

Bijan's love for quality and exclusivity was clearly seen through his car collection, which included several Bentleys, two Rolls-Royces, a Ferrari F430 Spider, a Mercedes SLR McLaren, and two Bugatti Veyrons. Almost all of his cars were either yellow or black; the yellow was his own unique hue ("Bijan Yellow") that matched the color of his store, which he always parked his cars in front of. His had a black Bentley Azure with yellow interior, and also a yellow one with black interior. His SLR had a unique image of Zeus airbrushed on the hood. His yellow Phantom Drophead Coupe was polarizing, to say the least. Many criticized it, saying it looked like a giant banana on wheels. I never thought I would ever say anything nice about a yellow Rolls-Royce, but after seeing that one, I must admit it was absolutely gorgeous, simply a work of art, no less unique than anything in his store.

Ever since Bijan purchased his (second) Veyron and began parking it in front of his store regularly, car enthusiasts have traveled to Beverly Hills just to see it. As if the $1.4 Million price tag weren't enough, Bijan gave the car a custom black and yellow two-tone paint job, had the image of Zeus airbrushed on the front, and painted his signature on the giant adjustable spoiler. It served not only as a fancy way to commute, but also a marketing tool. Hundreds of tourists photographed the car in front of his store every day, making his name increasingly well-known. In fact, so well-known was his yellow Rolls-Royce that he announced a collaboration with Rolls-Royce last November to produce a series of bespoke limited edition vehicles to be sold at $1 Million each - more than double the standard car's starting price. Recent rumors suggested that a similar collaboration was possible with Bugatti, which would result in one of the most exclusive editions of what is already one of the world's most exclusive cars. But unfortunately, he is no longer here to bring those plans to fruition.

I think the reason I am so grieved by Bijan's passing is that he was someone I truly admired in many ways. He connected well with American culture, but always held tightly to his Iranian heritage, and was viewed as a hero by many in the Iranian-American community. He had a soft and youthful smile that often made him appear as more of a friend than a celebrity. He enjoyed attention, but never demanded it from anyone; even as the owner of some of the world's fastest and most expensive cars, he was not known to drive dangerously or rev loudly to make people notice him. He didn't force his way to fame, but simply lived his life and let people discover it. Most importantly, he never conformed. "The world said to conform, the world said to settle for less, the world said compromise and no one would know... so I made my own world."

My prayers and condolences go out to Bijan's family, friends, and loved ones. The "world" he created had impacted countless lives across the globe. For those who had the means, he gave them what no other designer could offer. For those who didn't, he taught them what it means to be a true artist who not only takes pride in his art, but devotes himself to it and wouldn't give it up for anything else the world had to offer. We may be very different in terms of ethnic background, social status, and even major goals in life. But in so many ways, I see him as a role model and a hero, and I really wish to see his legacy live on through his store, his children, and all that he has accomplished.

04/15: I really don't know where to begin writing this entry from. Those who tried to email or call me in the past several days are probably wondering where the heck I've disappeared to. Everything happened so quickly that there was no time for me to explain anything to anyone. But looking back now after returning home from an exciting performance with KIIS FM at Universal Citywalk, it's clear all the time and effort spent on making this special opportunity happen was well worth it.

If you listen to KIIS at all, chances are you've heard of a huge annual concert festival called "Wango Tango". A few days ago, I was telling my mom about it while eating dinner, and my sister just happened to be watching "Freaky Friday" on TV. For those who don't remember, Wango Tango is the event that the main character girl in the movie desperately wanted to audition for. Apparently the producers of the movie thought this once-a-year concert was worthy of being portrayed on big screen as an aspiring musician's dream. And I'm definitely not surprised, considering it's hosted by one of the most well-known popular music radio stations in the country and features some of the most famous artists out there. "That's the concert I'm auditioning for!", I told my mom while pointing at the TV. It was only starting to hit me then that what I was about to experience was something that could truly change my life.

Of course, this opportunity was only possible because of Rajeev, a.k.a. G-VO. During last weekend's rehearsal (for our upcoming concert in June), he mentioned entering KIIS FM's online video contest for a chance to perform at Wango Tango alongside many famous artists. Then on Monday, he told me he had been selected as a semifinalist and had been invited to perform live at Universal Citywalk on Friday (today), competing with four other bands for a chance to make it to finals, which could then lead to the grand prize. No less surprising was his call on Wednesday asking me to play keyboard for him. Sure, I've been very involved with his music, whether it's playing at concerts or arranging songs for albums. But for an event like this, and with such a late notice, it seemed only logical to me that he would opt for simplicity by singing/rapping to recorded tracks and focusing his energy on his own performance.

But no, he wanted the whole shebang - drums, guitar, bass, two keyboards, two violins, plus vocalists. Most people who know me can easily testify that I'm not very cooperative when it comes to last-minute planning. But it's because the time that God blesses me with is far too precious to be spent aimlessly going with the flow. When I see people showing effort and pouring out their hearts to accomplish a worthwhile goal, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to jump on the bandwagon. And after talking with Rajeev during lunch break on Wednesday and realizing not only how serious he is about this, but that, to my great surprise, almost everyone in the insanely large band that was recruited last-minute was able to make it to the first (and only) rehearsal on Thursday night, my heart was already there with them.

Turned out I really didn't even have to make much of a sacrifice on my part. I called my Thursday night student's dad immediately to see if we could reschedule the lesson (something I almost never do with such a late notice), only to discover that they had just found out that they would also be busy on Thursday night and was about to call me for the same reason. It seemed almost too good to be true. And with only one short night to prepare for the rehearsal (since I'm at work all day), I committed pretty much all the free time I had left to write out parts, organize notes, and do whatever was possible to make the rehearsal of the 15-minute set as smooth as possible.

And smooth it definitely was - considering how a few members of the band didn't even meet each other before until last night's rehearsal, we picked things up insanely fast. Even figuring out the keyboard synth sounds and deciding which parts would be played by Jared (the other keyboardist) and which would be played by me - something I expected would take a very long time - was done very efficiently. Looking back now, it was definitely a miracle that we were able to get so many gifted musicians together to practice and perform with such a short notice.

With the blink of an eye, the day of the concert had come. I knew from the beginning that I wouldn't be able to make the soundcheck, since I had to rush there after work smack in the middle of rush hour traffic. And because of that, I had to ask for a lot of favors from a lot of people in order to make sure things were ready to go when I arrived. Special thanks to Rajeev, Jared, the stage crew, and everyone else who helped me take care of all the dirty work that I should have done myself if I had time, from bringing the keyboard to shopping for a replacement power cable (since the existing one was faulty) to soundchecking for me and letting me know exactly how things would be like when I arrived.

The idea of having to balance working in a shipping office, tutoring high school math, and performing rap music at the same time struck me as very interesting, but so much of my time these past few days had been consumed by these things that I really had no time to even think about the concert itself, aside from those brief moments when I was lying in bed but not yet asleep. I woke up this morning knowing it was going to be a busy and exciting day. But it was only after finishing eight hours in the office, weaving through rush hour traffic, and finding myself standing on the stage that reality finally began to hit me.

The funny thing is that I wasn't the only "unprepared" one. Alex (violinist) wasn't at last night's practice since he was in San Diego, so he didn't know what was happening until today. James (vocalist) also couldn't make practice, so he was equally clueless. Then there was Nina (vocalist), who was literally coming down the escalator to join us just as the emcee called our band up on stage, not even knowing which songs we would be performing. Sure, we all made little (and not-so-little) mistakes here and there. But considering how little preparation we had, the outcome was pretty darn amazing.

Now about the competition itself...

The five bands that performed/competed really represented a wide spectrum of today's popular music. There was rock music, and there was rap music. There were people singing from their hearts about life-changing issues, and there were people declaring their love for sex with half-naked women dancing on stage behind them. Musically speaking, all five acts were wonderful (this is the semifinals after all), though some attracted crowds more than others. Some bands whose music videos we had seen and thought were amazing weren't nearly as impressive on stage, while others that didn't seem so great ended up being amazing performers. I won't judge how well the G-VO band did compared to the others, since I'm obviously biased. But out of the other four groups, after taking into account musical skill, lyrical content, stage presence, and audience engagement - all things that are undoubtedly important for determining the winner, pretty much all of us agreed on who should make it to finals.

But the result caught all of us off guard.

The selection seemed so unlikely that we all looked at each other, unsure of how to respond. It's not because we were disappointed that we didn't win, but because something really didn't seem right. And it didn't take long for everyone to realize that something really wasn't right. To say that the competition was rigged would only be the beginning. Yes, the winning band was good. But some others were clearly better, both from an amateur and a professional standpoint. And is it a coincidence that they also happen to be sponsored by KIIS and are already signed to perform on the same stage in Citywalk tomorrow night? They themselves were even surprised that they were the winners, not because their performance wasn't good, but because they didn't even know they were part of the actual competition until their victory was announced. I would think that considering how the people hosting this event are professional radio DJ's and emcees that did so much to hype things up, they could at least do a little better job of covering up their own dirty schemes.

As for how our performance went, I'm not going to be our own judge, other than the fact that I know we could have done much better if we had more time to rehearse and prepare. But I'll go ahead and evaluate how we performed based on two other (unbiased) sources. The first is the audience; when the emcee went up at the end and announced the names of each of the five bands, the screaming and cheering from the crowd after "G-VO" was called clearly determined the fan favorite. The second is what the judges said immediately after our peformance. "Engaged the crowd very well." "Violins? Who does that?" "The leaders did a great job of uniting everyone on stage, even with so many people." "Lyrics are filled with meaning". "Relates to all kinds of different people." "Very passionate." Afterwards, a few judges even told us personally that we were their favorite.

Still, when it came down to the result, all they could tell us was, "I'm sorry", and "that's just how the music industry is."

We were definitely not the only ones feeling discontent with the result. Anyone who has performed with a band knows that it's not as easy as the TV shows make it look. It's hard to recruit the right people and find a time and place to meet, not to mention write music that is both good and original. Putting together a good show requires lots of talent, lots of time, lots of effort, lots of teamwork, and sometimes lots of money. God only knows what each band had to sacrifice to be at the competition tonight. And the fact that many people who genuinely deserved to win were so blatantly betrayed was simply unfair.

The story doesn't end there though, at least not for us. I can only try to imagine the great frustration experienced by those who practiced their butts off and performed their hearts out to entertain the audience and please the judges. But that's not what we were there for. And that's exactly why I love working with our band members so much. Pop in one of G-VO's albums, play a few random songs, and it's clear that our purpose is not to please people, but rather to use music to deliver important messages that come straight from our hearts. And it's not the preachy kind of "religious" music that seems more fit for church settings - this is real, legit concert music in every sense, coming from the writer's heart to reach the hearts of those who hear it. And considering both the increasing lack of quality content on today's popular music radio stations and people's increasing desire to find purpose and meaning in life, we are confident that this is exactly what today's world needs to hear. Sure, winning this competition would be awesome, and it would truly be a blessing to be able to bring this kind of meaningful music into an event like Wango Tango. But at the end of the day, what we have accomplished is far more than just participating in a competition.

If God wants to take us somewhere big, does He not have the power to bring us there? Are we really so shallow as to think that our fate rests in the result of this contest? If the music industry doesn't want us, then it's their loss, because if God wants this music to change the world, then it's going to happen whether the industry likes it or not. Many of today's most popular artists, even some of the ones that will be performing at Wango Tango, will probably disappear from the charts a few years from now. But we're not striving to be like them. We want to set new standards in the world of music that transcend the industry itself. And while we want to please the judges and entertain the audience, the most important thing is that inside each of us there is a heart acknowledging God's great blessings and eager to put them to good use.

On June 25, we will be doing our own show in a huge auditorium, complete with a mini orchestra, a choir, and dancers. I really wonder how many artists like us are blessed with being able to put together an event like this. While we didn't win tonight's competition, it was a victory for all of us, not only because we did our best and accomplished our purpose, but also because we learned countless valuable lessons that will be directly applied to our June concert. If tonight's unfair judging has any effect on us, it is to motivate us to work even harder in preparation for our concert, knowing that we don't need to quarrel over this injustice to determine our success. And the fact that we were able to accomplish so much on stage with so little practice shows that at this rate, the June concert is going to be nothing short of phenomenal.

We'd much rather be the losers if we can lose with the assurance that we've done our best. The response from the crowd told us we did, and even several of the judges agreed. The comments of those judges were exactly what we wanted to hear. You can't really call yourself an artist if all you do is follow what the world wants you to do. Tonight, we made sure we were real artists who made meaningful art regardless of how others felt. And that's how we will always be. The more I think about it, the more blessed I feel, not only to have this amazing opportunity to perform at Citywalk, but also to be a part of such an incredible group of musicians. I know that God has even bigger things in store for us, and I really look forward to seeing what amazing doors He will open in the future.

04/11: (Continuation of 1/12 entry)

I looked up and saw smoke rising in the distance. A fire had been ignited at the other side of the island and was starting to spread. I rushed toward the flames to gather the fruits of our hard labor, only to be pulled back by the others. They assured me that it's all part of the natural cycle of the island, and because most of them have been there much longer than I have, I took their word for it. Even though we have been together for so long, there is a big difference between us - they all have homes that they are eager to return to every night, while mine has not ceased to make me feel the need to escape. Where can I escape to, now that our beautiful island is only days away from being entirely blanketed by fire? Deep inside, I still can't quite accept the fact that such a seemingly perfect place would be prone to destruction. That's something the legends never mentioned, and I can't help but start to wonder if those legends are really as real as I've always believed. But if they really are, then what I have seen so far must only be a glimpse of something far greater. And if there is anything more glorious than what I have already found, then I must get back in my boat immediately and search the unknown waters until I find it. This journey may take me far from home, and I may find myself lost and afraid. But even in those times, the fire that blazes high in the sky from the island of hope will be my compass in the day and my torch in the night, reminding me that I've come this far already and must not give up.

04/10: SNU - It's been a rough week, in the sense that there were several things at home that really pissed me off. I won't write about the details here, but some of these things had been bothering me since as early as last November, and others tie back to rough memories from many years ago that I still seem to be having trouble getting over. I managed to convince myself to stand my ground and insist that I had every right to remain angry until things were resolved. Yes, I could have taken some action myself rather than wait for things to work themselves out, and if it weren't for the fact that things had already escalated to this level, I definitely would have done so. For probably about a week, I had honestly looked forward to being at work in the office more than I looked forward to being at home. Even though home is a place of love, rest, and comfort, being home forced me to think about the issues bothering me and allowed me to meditate on them, making them seem even worse to me than they actually were. I basically ended up giving up trying to be nice, and the result was that I either remained completely silent or spoke words fueled by bitterness. Deep inside, I hated having to be like this, especially with my own family. But I convinced myself that I had no choice.

Then finally, I decided that I had enough. I was more sick of the lack of peace in my own heart than the problems around me. But so much frustration had built up in me over the past several months that I couldn't just magically stop being unhappy with the blink of an eye. So late last night, I said goodbye and left home on a little adventure to spend some time alone, away from my daily life. It was definitely a soothing experience - there were screams at the top of my lungs, and there were sincere and humble prayers to God. I screamed until I was sick of screaming, and I prayed until I had no more words to pray. After a long walk by myself in the silent nighttime streets, I was ready to admit that even though it may take time for all the anger to fade away, I was ready to put in effort to control it rather than let it control me.

Looking back now, I'm a little surprised that I didn't come up with this idea any sooner. In college, I always had a tendency to want to get out of my room and enjoy my surroundings, whether it was because I was in a good mood or a bad mood. But at home, I was always under the impression that I'm supposed to stay at home unless there's a reason to go out. Not that I don't like being at home or anything... but there's so much outside of these doors that I've taken for granted all these years. I think as humans it's inevitable that we go through times when we feel like we just want to run away and get our minds off our problems for a moment so that we can come back with more strength to face them with. And I hope that in those times I will realize the need to escape a little sooner rather than wait until my frustration starts affecting the people around me. I praise God for giving me a deep desire for peace amidst my frustration, and I pray that I will continue to place this peace above my desire to dwell in my own problems.

04/02: DC Motors Exotic Car Meet/Rally

Another Saturday, another opportunity to shoot cars. Honestly, I've been so content after the last couple spotting trips (to BH and C&C) that I really didn't feel the need for another trip yet. So even though I knew about today's event at DC Motors over a month ago, I didn't plan on going until last night. What made me change my mind was the realization that the location was less than 20 minutes away from home. Plus, the meeting time was from 8 to 9, so I didn't have to wake up any earlier than I normally do for work. Sure, it's still early for a Saturday, but compared to dragging myself out of bed at 5AM to be at C&C, this is considered luxurious. And with that in mind, I really had no excuse to not be there.

As expected, there were a good 50 cars present, ranging from suped-up performance cars to exotics from pretty much all of the major exotic brands. Those who are familiar with shooting at meets know that to get the best candid shots (and footage), you have to hang out by the entrance/exit and prepare to hold up your weapon before each car actually comes within range. The only problem this time is that because the meet was only the beginning of an all-day event for registered participants, all the cars prepared to take off at the same time. To be honest, this is one of the most challenging events I've ever filmed/photographed, simply because of the quick pace at which all the action took place. I would need about five cameras and probably ten eyes to cover this event in good quality. Either that, or a jet pack so I can shoot from above and get the whole block on screen at the same time. But even with a single camera and no jet pack, it was still an amazing experience, especially considering that for several consecutive minutes, all I had to do was leave the camera recording while spinning around in circles, because everywhere around me there was something worth filming.

I find it kind of funny how driving an exotic car often gives you random privileges on the road. For example, I tend to get mad when people driving in front of me on major streets decide to make left turns without getting completely in the turn lane first, making everyone behind them have to slow down. But if the car in front of me were a Ferrari, I would gladly slow down to get a better look, or maybe even follow it through the left turn for more footage. DC Motors' exit happens to only allow right turns, while the run's destination is in the opposite direction, meaning all 50-something cars had to make a u-turn at the same time. With so many exotics lined up along the street, it already seemed as if the speed limit were reduced by 10 or 20 mph, since everybody slowed down to check out the party. That naturally made it easier for the exotics to merge to the fast lane one by one and make that u-turn. That's exactly what happened, except they didn't do the u-turn one by one. The whole army spread out across the street at the same time, basically completely blocking off traffic for a few minutes while other motorists watched helplessly as they slowly made their way to the opposite side of the street. But for once, being helpless wasn't a bad thing; even though several drivers were forced to stop and waste a few minutes of their lives in the middle of a major street just so a gang of rich showoffs could make their u-turns in style, nobody honked or stuck out their middle fingers. Everyone just sat still with their mouths wide open, watching the show in amazement. Oh, the joy of being able to drive a nice car and keep the traffic flow around you under your control!

Considering how much I love exotic cars, people may be surprised to know that it's really not one of my priorities in life to own one. Sure, if I could easily afford a $200,000 ride, I wouldn't mind buying one. But simply being able to enjoy seeing and hearing nice cars is good enough for me, and that's exactly why I went to crash the party today. Even if I were a millionaire, I wouldn't want to assume that I'm awesome and that people will naturally slow down and stare at me. But I simply find it amusing that even in such a fast-paced self-driven society, most people don't mind being interrupted by a free auto show.

Anyway, time to shut up and get back to video editing. After all, there are about 20 minutes of footage that need to make it on YouTube in the next couple days. Now that I know there's a place so close to my house that hosts epic exotic car gatherings like this, I'll definitely be on the lookout for similar events in the future!

03/29: Earlier tonight, I had the great privilege of hearing Tina's lecture at BSF on Isaiah 53, which foretold the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ to a people desperate for hope and peace. I can't remember the last time I heard such a powerful sermon outside of a retreat. There is so much packed inside that single chapter of Isaiah that I wouldn't mind if we were to spend the entire year of BSF elaborating on the many important points made in that lecture. There were times when I wanted to run outside of the room and cry by myself. There were times when I wanted to jump up and sing songs of joy. And considering how exhausted I tend to be by the time I make it to BSF on Tuesday nights, it was truly a blessing from God that I was able to absorb and experience so much in so little time.

To be honest, sometimes I really wish BSF were an actual church. Whether it's the quality of the lectures, the discipline and respect toward what we've been blessed with, or the God-centered fellowship, this is really the closest I've ever been to what a healthy church should look like. And given how long I've struggled with finding a permanent spiritual home - an issue I want to resolve now more than ever before, it really breaks my heart each time I think about how quickly this year's BSF study is coming to an end. If BSF were a church, my decision would be made easily and without hesitation. But through tonight's lecture I was once again reminded and reassured not only that God cares about my struggles, but also that He has blessed me with things so much greater that I should have no doubt that my needs are within His control.

I don't know if this is intentional, but the fact that we're studying the section of Isaiah focused on the Messiah right around Easter has really been helping me prepare my heart for the season characterized by remembering the very foundation of my faith. And the fact that tonight's lecture touched me so deeply only serves to show just how little I really understand about the very events that have so significantly shaped the way I live my life. I'll save the details for a future entry, since it's pretty late at night already, and also since I'm sure I'll be spending a lot more time reflecting on these things as Easter draws closer. But each time I listened to a sermon about the story of the cross with the attitude that I know the story by heart already, I end up shocked at just how fresh and new it still seems. There are always new details I never noticed before, new perspectives to think from, and new applications to put to practice. And it all leads up to that same great truth that because Jesus lived a perfect life, died a sinner's death, and defeated death through resurrection, I can be forgiven of my countless sins and have an intimate relationship with the perfect and holy God.

A devotional I read recently used the analogy of learning to swim - it doesn't mean anything to simply read a book on how to swim; the knowledge is useless unless you get in the water and put it to practice. That's the same difference between knowing facts about God and actually allowing them to shape your life. Having grown up going to church, it's not hard for me to summarize Jesus' life, death, and resurrection, and even throw in a few Bible verses to back up my words. But if I really know the gospel so well, then how is it that each time I hear a powerful sermon about Jesus, I feel as amazed as I did when I heard the story for the first time?

It's because I'm a sinner. It's because I not only made mistakes in the past, but continue to make mistakes today and will continue doing so for as long as I live. Even if I don't intend to, it's still going to happen. I've heard many people criticize "religious people" by saying that "religion is for the weak". Sure, as humans we like to think we have it all together, and throughout history we've definitely accomplished some truly amazing things. But just take one look at the chain of disasters that have taken place in Japan in these past several weeks, and it's quite clear that we're not exactly as wise and strong as we'd like to believe. Admitting that I'm weak does not mean I shouldn't try my best to learn from my mistakes and make the most out of my life. However, it allows me to stop carrying so many unncessary burdens on my own shoulders and let the God who created me and knew me before birth lead me according to His perfect plan. I'm weak, but it's okay. I make mistakes, but I don't have to suffer the unimagineably painful punishment that I deserve. That's what the story of the cross has done for me. No wonder it never ceases to amaze me!

After BSF, I joined a group of brothers sitting on a couch in the hallway, and we enjoyed a great time of sharing about our lives and our needs. It just happened to be that one of us was struggling with whether or not to attend seminary, while another was confused about whether or not to commit to a ministry opportunity that may have a big impact on his career. Still another was uncertain about whether he should dedicate more of his life to pursuing his God-given gifts as an artist. We are all Christians, and we all trust in God and believe that He has great plans for our lives. But at the same time, we are all confused and wondering why our big decisions, which seem to clearly revolve around God-related issues, have left us feeling like God is not speaking to us.

It's been a very long time since I felt so comforted by being surrounded by people who really understand the way I feel now about my struggles with finding a spiritual home. I remember first coming to BSF while feeling confused and frustrated about my career. Little did I know that God was going to so radically transform my life! And I was definitely not the only one among us who experienced God's great power during this time. Our lives serve as an encouragement for one another, and even though it seems like all of us are struggling with making big decisions right now, the fact that we share and understand each other's struggles serves to encourage each other and remind us to pray for each other. That's the power of a healthy spiritual community, and I really don't know how to express how blessed I am to be a part of this group.

Sure, being stuck with the inability to make a big decision is extremely frustrating. But it's only half as bad when I know that people who understand the way I feel are praying for me, and in the same way I look forward to seeing God guide me in my decisions, I also look forward to seeing Him work in the lives of those who I pray for. It really breaks my heart to remember that there isn't much time left before this year's BSF comes to an end. I wish and pray that we will eagerly strive to make the most out of these last few weeks, and that God will by all means let the friendships formed and lessons learned remain even after BSF ends.

03/27: I remember writing an essay in college about how the kinds of cars you see in a given area can reveal a lot about the people there. It was one of those essays that seemed like it was pulled straight out of my butt, but still managed to earn me an "A". To be honest, I really believe there's a lot of truth in the idea that you can tell a lot about a person by the car they choose to drive. People who drive fancy-colored sports cars tend to like attracting attention to themselves. People with large, intimidating customized trucks tend to enjoy feeling big and powerful. Cars can look classy, flashy, eccentric, conservative, elegant, sinister, or artistic. Sometimes when you look at a car, you can almost imagine exactly how its owner might look, talk, or act.

I've attended many events in which people proudly display their unique ways of expressing themselves through their rides. But there was always one big problem - the car customization scene is made up almost entirely of people of the male gender. When females were present, they were usually there just to make sure their boyfriends or husbands didn't cause any trouble. Let's be honest - even though most girls don't consider cars a high priority in life, there are times when some of them want to feel special and unique in their cars too. And considering how many ways guys have come up with to make their rides appear more "manly", from matte black paint jobs to huge spoilers to insanely loud exhausts, I can't help but wonder what modifications can be done to a car to make it appear more um... feminine.

Earlier today, after eating lunch and drinking tea with some friends, I went out to the parking lot and stumbled upon a car that helped answer my question-

03/20: SNU - Some random thoughts before getting ready for another busy week

Yesterday I had the chance to spend time with several of my brothers and sisters in BSF. The original plan, which we had looked forward to ever since probably around December when the leaders first set the date, was to go hiking for a few hours before eating lunch. But because of the heavy rain on Friday night that probably left the trails muddy, we decided to settle with just eating brunch. Not that I'm complaining or anything, since Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles is friggin' amazing.

The more I think about it, the more I realize just how much I love my small group at BSF. During our last weekly meeting, we were surprised to find out that we were the first group to have a day of perfect attendance. And at yesterday's outing, which included several small groups, we also had the largest turnout. Not that attendance is a always an indication of the heart... but I'm really starting to see more and more that some of us are truly dedicated to this group, despite being busy with work, school, and all kinds of other things. We've just about reached that time of the year where, just like in college, the end is slowly coming in sight, and we're naturally prompted to cherish the time we have together even more than we did before. That's why, when I first heard that yesterday's long-awaited outing might be postponed due to the uncertain weather, I felt urged to suggest that we should meet and do something, rain or shine, since it's unlikely that we'll all have time to gather again anytime soon. After all, if the purpose of the outing was to have a chance to bond with one another outside of our weekly meetings, why give up the opportunity completely just because there's a little water falling from the sky?

Recently I've been thinking a lot about this whole idea of purpose, the reasons behind just about everything I do, and it's been helping me feel very um... inspired. Whether it's with music, with people, or just with life in general, I've been feeling unusually optimstic. It just so happened that a good friend emailed me a few days ago and asked me about "how to be inspired and how to inspire". In the past, we have had many conversations - even casual ones - that left us both greatly encouraged and inspired. But this was the first time she explicitly asked me about the idea of inspiration, and to be honest, I really didn't know how to answer. As I thought about it, I came to realize that throughout the countless hours we had spent talking on the phone or in person, we rarely did so with the direct intention of inspiring each other. But in the end, we always felt so inspired, because our conversations were honest and helped each other focus on God through being encouraged by each other's life stories.

As an artist, I often struggle with finding inspiration and motivation, and thinking about it now, it totally makes sense, since I often search for motivation in things that are only temporary. If I let my life be inspired by things that come and go, it's no surprise that it won't get me very far in the long run. I shared with my friend my thoughts on Japan that led to my desire to pray for humility (3/13 entry). In such difficult situations, how can one find the strength and hope to rise again? This forced me to conclude that if true inspiration really exists,one that doesn't run dry even if life is difficult, then surely it must come from God.

Earlier tonight, my mom and I were taking about Japan while watching the news, and after I shared my feelings with her, she asked me if I would still be able to think the same way if the same devastation took place in our home. To be completely honest, if I really lost all of my possessions in an instant, I would probably be extremely angry, and I wouldn't be surprised if I complained to God and refused to pray or think about His goodness for days or even weeks. But all of that would only be the beginning of an amazing healing process. Because sooner or later, I would run out of energy to complain and realize that the best thing for me to do would still be to make the most out of what I had, even if it's not much, and trust that God has a plan for everything. When my life is reduced down to my mere existence and survival, to reject God would be to purposely give up the hope and love that I need more than ever before. I really believe that even if I were not a Christian, going through such a devastating situation would leave me with only two options - either give up completely, or say a little prayer and wish that God really exists just so I could feel a little more hopeful.

Suddenly, I feel more thankful than ever before to have received this amazing hope that God offers to all who are willing to accept it. It's one of those times when there is so much joy inside me that I feel like I'm a little crazy, since I can't really explain where all this joy came from. Sure, my life is going quite smoothly these days, and I got to enjoy several consecutive weekends of doing some of my favorite things. But even those things cannot lead to such a deep and inspiring joy. It must be from God, and I really have no doubt about it. And even though the weekend is just about over and it's time for another week of work, this joy makes me really look forward to waking up early and having the opportunity to live another day for God's glory. I pray that I will be eager to do whatever it takes to let this fire of joy continue to burn fervently inside me and inspire me in everything that I do.

03/15: There's no doubt that the turnout at last weekend's Cars & Coffee meet was huge, whether it was because of the good weather, the presence of the McLaren MP4-12C, or the fact that lots of people simply felt like showing up. Either way, the McLaren drew an unbelievably large crowd, so big that many people who went just to see it complained that they couldn't get good pictures because there were too many people. One account even reported seeing someone climb a tree in order to get a better view. We're definitely true enthusiasts, willing to wake up before sunrise and look like idiots just to see cars.

Fortunately, I didn't have to push through crowds or climb trees. (Even though traveling via scooter isn't much less humiliating.) For those who want to get the most out of their experience at C&C, here's a little piece of wisdom - show up early, and leave late. The whole point of going to a meet rather than a show is that people actually drive their cars. Getting there early means you can be the first to see each car pull in. Plus, if you're quick enough, you can snap pics of the cars before crowds start forming around them. As for leaving late, well, it's pretty self-explanatory. After all, every car has to leave sooner or later. And even the trailer queens need to be loaded onto their trucks somehow. Those who complained about not being able to get good pictures of the McLaren should know better next time; had they stayed a little later, they would have been able to not only shoot pictures after most people are gone, but also hear the beast come to life. Sure, the McLaren didn't travel much faster than my scooter to get to its truck. But those were the few glorious minutes that led to the miraculous outcome that prompts me to write this entry.

Having run Exotic Affinity for over a year, I'm no longer surprised by the fact that many YouTubers nowadays are, well, quite desperate for attention. Yes, I check my stats regularly and get excited when people subscribe or when my videos receive lots of view. But ultimately, my YouTube channel is just a hobby and a means of sharing my adventures with the world. As an artist, I truly believe that good art will speak for itself. It may be a long wait, but since I'm not trying to make money or gain popularity with my videos, what's the rush? All I need to do is commit to making good videos, and as for how popular they become, only time will tell. One thing I do try to rush, though, is the preparation and editing of special videos like the ones I shot of the McLaren. We all know the early bird gets the worm, and considering how many people (including reporters) were at C&C that day, I knew this event was bound to make headlines. Within about half an hour after getting home from Irvine, my compilation video was finished and ready to go public. And just as I hoped, it was the first video uploaded from that epic event.

Throughout the day, the McLaren was one of the hottest topics on the local car enthusiast forums. Those who didn't know about the special appearance were greatly surprised, and those who knew but chose to sleep in used various four-letter words to express their regret. I posted a link to my video on a few forums I participate in, so everyone could see what they missed out on. (Though many people were there, very few stayed long enough to hear the car start and see it drive.) Then the people who saw the video shared it with more people, and those people shared it with even more...

Then my video was featured on the front page of Jalopnik.

Now that's something far beyond my wildest dreams. Who would have guessed that such a well-established automotive website would discover my video and deem it worthy of a headline story? If it weren't for the fact that the video went online several hours before those of other people who were present, they could have easily chosen a different video of the same event to broadcast to the world. I'm sure Jalopnik didn't regret their decision though, because that entry ended up being their second most popular story of the day. Meanwhile, my YouTube stats soared in ways I never thought were possible.

Ever since the day I decided to kill my old YouTube car page and start from scratch with the new name, I had been waiting patiently for the day when one of my videos would happen to be seen by the right people at the right time, helping my channel gain exposure in ways that are extremely difficult considering my choice to let my artwork speak for itself over time. I'm glad to say that the wait is finally over. Thanks to the many forums and websites that shared my McLaren video, it landed a position on the daily YouTube charts as the 15th most viewed video (in the transportation category), and earned at least a dozen other honors from countries all across the world.

Even though I constantly remind myself of the true purpose of Exotic Affinity, it would be a lie for me to say that I don't care about the popularity of the channel at all. After all, if I'm going to put videos online, it would be nice if people actually watched them. And right now, I don't know how to describe how blessed I feel to have this little moment of fame. With the kind of exposure this latest film received, God only knows how my channel as a whole will be impacted. But I know this is definitely one humongous step in the right direction, and it really makes me feel like all my effort to fight against the temptation of popularity and stick to the heart of my car-spotting hobby has been worthwhile.

03/13: Stop. Take a deep breath, and think. Let the truth sink in for a moment. The images, videos, and statistics on the news these past few days have not been easy to swallow. And I admit it's only starting to really hit me deeply that what I saw were not scenes from Hollywood movies. Yes, our lives are still going on as usual - we're still attending school, going to work, and enjoying the weekend. But somewhere in the midst of our busyness, there are shadows reminding us of the knowledge that thousands of people just like ourselves have just lost everything they had with the blink of an eye, if not their actual lives.

Let's be honest - many of us, including myself, are sometimes not as kind and compassionate as we'd like to think we are. Sometimes I watch the news purely as a spectator, letting myself keep an emotional distance from disasters happening in other countries, or even other states, as if they had absolutely nothing to do with me. But if everyone were so selfish, what would this world be like? What shocked me most was that the victim of such great devastation was not an impoverished, rural, or third-world country. I'm guilty of sometimes being under the false impression that people in those places are so accustomed to suffering that it's really not a big problem. But Japan? As one of the world's most technologically advanced countries, it would seem like people there should know what they're doing. And upon seeing how little damage was done from the earthquake itself despite its colossal magnitude, I truly applaud those who have contributed to the advancement of construction and techology that has saved countless lives. But even so, in an instant the tsunami literally wiped out everything in its path, leaving everyone completely helpless.

I remember first taking time to stop and think about the disaster in Japan on Friday while taking my daily lunchtime walk. As a Christian, the natural thing for me to do was say a little prayer. Yet when I tried, I really didn't know how. "It's just not fair", I thought to myself. I wish I could know and believe without doubt that life on earth is fair, but the truth is that no matter what race, religion, or social class we associate ourselves with, there's really nothing we can do to explain something like this. Nature's power took out people both rich and poor, young and old, sick and healthy. There were farmers and there were businessmen. There were natives and there were visitors. Perhaps some were simply living their daily lives, while others were enjoying a vacation far from home. Maybe some were very ill and near the ends of their lives, while others still had bright futures to look forward to. Then the water came, and it almost seemed as if nature decided to play King Kong for a moment and kill whoever it felt like killing, simply because it felt like doing so. How the heck can this be considered fair?

Then I thought of the story of Job in the Bible, who did his best to remain faithful despite all the painful and unfair things happening to him. And the craziest thing about that story is that God actually knew the things that would happen to Job and allowed them to happen. Yet in the midst of suffering, Job prayed an honest and sincere prayer - "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised" (Job 1:21).

But still I found myself wondering, especially about those who had lost their lives. How could I possibly pray for anything good to happen when the truth was that so many people, who seemed to be doing perfectly fine a day ago, were dead, buried under rubble or washed out to sea? Surely this must not be the end. Sure there must be more - there must be much more to life than accumulating so much in this world only to be washed away by a giant tsunami. Then suddenly it became clear - this is exactly why people need to get to know Jesus. So many people think being a Christian is all about following a bunch of rules, and many Christians have strayed so far from the heart of the gospel that they make others associate the faith with putting on a mask to cover the truth. I know that sometimes I'm guilty of this myself, but it's because of my imperfections that I need God even more. And it's because of those very imperfections that God, who has every right to punish me for my sins, demonstrated His love by sending Jesus to live a perfect life and die an innocent death on the cross.

Being a Christian is about so much more than just going to church and reading the Bible. After all, if all the promises in the Bible are true, then surely they must impact our lives dramatically. Yes, as Christians we can, and should, enjoy our lives. We can make money, buy a house, have a wonderful family and lots of friends, and have a great time celebrating all that God has blessed us with. But in the end, we must not forget that it only takes a moment for all those things to be reduced to a pile of rubbish. While God has given mankind plenty to enjoy in this world, will we put our security in things that can be washed away by the storm, or will we put our trust in the God who made us, knows us, and cares for us? Will we worship God only when our lives are going smoothly, or does our love for Him go deeper than our present circumstances?

I read an online news article about the devastation in Japan, along with the comments people wrote in response to it. The comment that stood out to me most was one in which the writer compared the worries of the people in Japan with his/her own frustrations over being unemployed. It's amazing to realize how I can make such a big deal out of so many little things in life, like when people don't treat me like I want them to, or when my computer lags too much, or when somebody cuts me off on the road. And it's no less amazing to realize how many important and valuable things in my life I'm taking for granted. Only God knows why the people in Japan have to face such chaos. But if He truly has control over all things, then just like in Job's story, He must have had a reason for allowing the disasters to happen. Sure, the things happening in Japan definitely aren't fair. But there's something that's far more unfair - how is it that, while tens of thousands of people are experiencing such great suffering, I can be sitting comfortably in front of my computer, in my own room, in a nice house? How can I have a car to drive, a job to earn money, and so many wonderful friends and family members who are always there for me? I deserve no better than those in Japan who have lost their lives, possessions, or loved ones. But why do I get to live this wonderful life that I'm living now?

Fortunately, it's not about how much I'm being blessed, but rather how much God truly loves His children. While everything that I possess in this world may be swept away in an instant, God has given me an even greater gift - an eternity to spend in His loving arms, and a hope that remains strong even when everything in the world makes me want to give up. And the best thing is that this gift is offered to all who are willing to receive it. We live in a world in which people spent their whole lives searching for a true sense of love, accomplishment, security, and purpose. God is the answer to all of those seemingly unanswerable questions, and the great love, hope, joy, and peace found only in Him is a gift offered freely to everyone who truly wants it. That's pretty much the only thing about life in this world that's truly fair.

As I continued my lunchtime walk while thinking about these things, I finally knew what I wanted to pray for - Humility. For myself, for the people close to me, and for people all around the world. There's nowhere in this world we can run to find complete peace and security. But as God's children, there's also nowhere we can run that His great love cannot reach. The only problem is ourselves - whether we choose to continue trying to figure everything out on our own or humble ourselves and run to God's embrace. God must have had a reason for letting the earthquake and tsunami strike Japan, and I won't fully understand it until I get to heaven. But one thing that's clear right now is that we are a people prone to death and suffering, desperate for a savior to bring us true and lasting hope, both in heaven and on earth. If anything truly good can come out of this great disaster, it is that we all have the precious opportunity to be humbled and realize just how frail we are. Through that realization we can fall in love with God, and through Him we will find the great hope that transcends all the circumstances of this world.

In closing, I pray for all who have been affected by this earthquake and tsunami, whether directly or indirectly. May God help them to get back on their feet again and rise to become stronger than they used to be. May God bless the rescue workers and all who are contributing to the cause in any way, as well as those who are working hard to help prevent the potential nuclear disaster that many are worried about. Most of all, may God soften the hearts of people all around the world and help us to be humble and realize that He alone has control over all things, and He is eager to pour out His blessings on those who are willing to receive it. May His great and perfect will continue to be done.

03/12: During an interview this morning, Lynne Arciero, Marketing & Communications Manager for McLaren North America, commented, "hey, if you get up at 6 O'clock in the morning on a Saturday to come see cars, you pretty much know that you're an enthusiast." Of course, she was referring to the weekly Cars & Coffee meet in Irvine. Even though car spotting is more or less of a personal hobby for me, I usually invite a few fellow car-nut friends when I go to events like this. And chances are even though they seem excited about going, they end up not showing up. And I can't really blame them. After all, waking up before sunrise on a Saturday morning really sucks.

But hey, love requires sacrifice, and there hasn't been a single time I sacrificed my precious weekend sleep to go to C&C that didn't end up being worthwhile. Of course, that's probably because I tend to go only when I know something special is going to happen. I made it a goal this year to regularly do research about special appearances at C&C, and that's how I found out very early on that McLaren Automotive would be showing up at this morning's meet.

Fortunately, I also concluded ahead of time that, unlike what all the rumors were saying, there would not be a million-dollar McLaren F1 present, and in doing so spared myself of that little bit of disappointment. (I must say, though, that if my name were Jay Leno and I happened to own possibly the only F1 in SoCal right now, I would have had compassion on the hundreds of poor souls who believed the rumors and brought my F1 to save the day). Still, the opportunity to see (and hear) the new MP4-12C months before it goes on production was too good to miss. And now that pictures and videos have begun to flood the internet, those who chose to press the snooze button this morning are starting to realize just how much they've missed out on.

03/10: I don't know if it's because I've been spending too much time studying Isaiah with BSF, but right now I feel like doing a little prophesying. Okay, not really. But still, I'd like to make an educated guess about the special appearance(s) at Cars & Coffee this week. Sorry to ruin the surprise, but by now it's already all over the Internet, so those who care enough (and are willing to wake up insanely early) should already know. Still, a lot of the details of what's going to happen are still quite sketchy, so it will be interesting to see how much of this is actually gonna come true...
-The not-yet-for-sale McLaren MP4-12C will be present.
-The car will be grey with black rims.
-There will not be a McLaren F1 present, even though many people are expecting one.
-The MP4-12C will be transported to/from C&C rather than driven.
I've been following the updates on this special appearance for a couple weeks already, and by doing so I'm sort of testing my own ability to collect information and draw conclusions for events like this, even though a lot of people who know about these things tend to prefer keeping them very low-key. Whatever... Cars & Coffee is definitely no secret, so plenty of spectators will be there regardless of whether or not there's a special appearance.

It's always interesting to wonder what other surprises may show up though. Last time I went to C&C (for the Jaguar C-X75 special appearance), I was surprised to also catch the Top Gear USA promo crew in their fleet of Taxi'ed out exotics. This time I'm definitely expecting lots of Ferraris and Lambos, since owners of those cars are the most likely to buy the new McLaren. Then again, most of them probably already got to see it at one of the several private showings McLaren held across the country. Whatever, I'm just going to wait and let myself be surprised on Saturday morning.

03/09: Whole & Whole

Even though I'm basically able to handle my job on my own now, I still come across many questions that need to be answered, since I'm still very new to the field and lack a lot of basic knowledge and experience. That's why I often find myself struggling when the boss leaves the office for an extended period of time and leaves me with a huge checklist of questions to ask her when she returns. But today, she returned to the office with a very pleasant surprise - more boba from Half & Half!

In fact, there were so many cups that we ended up with an extra one that nobody wanted. When it was offered to me, I pointed at the cup already on my desk, which was still more than half full. Those cups aren't exactly small either. But when it was time to go home after work, it became very clear that there were only two options left - either that extra cup of boba goes home with me, or it will eventually end up in the trash. And I refuse to see such a precious beverage go to waste. As I drove home, I was very tempted to pull into a random plaza and offer it to a stranger. But then again, if a stranger randomly handed me a drink, I probably wouldn't take it anyway. So I ended up bringing it home, and since nobody else at home wanted it, I popped in the straw and drank it myself. Since two halves make a whole, I guess two cups of Half & Half makes a....

Yea, you get the point. But anyway, I figured since I'm obviously very caffeinated right now, I might as well put this energy to good use and write a little bit about my job, since I haven't written much about it lately. I'm very thankful for everyone who has prayed for me to adjust and learn quickly in this new environment. It's not exactly "new" anymore, but each time I look back, I find myself amazed at how much I've been taught in these past four months. I remember way back in the beginning when I was absolutely confused about everything and had to write down every word taught to me so I could review the information and slowly absorb it. Right now, a lot of that information has become basic knowledge that I apply regularly without thinking about it. And I believe that I will always be able to look back and get this great feeling of accomplishment and contentment if I am willing to maintain a humble and teachable attitude. After all, there's still much more for me to learn.

I've known from the beginning that working in a very small company has both pros and cons. A typical day at work for me involves not only fulfilling my actual job description, but also doing a bunch of random tasks simply because they need to get done and nobody's officially in charge of them. Especially now that business is slow and I don't have as many responsibilities as everyone else does, I've been put in charge of several new things I didn't expect to be doing, meaning there's a whole lot more that I must quickly learn and apply.

To be honest, it can be a little frustrating at times, especially because I tend to like having my day all planned out without random things thrown at me here and there. But each time I slow down and think about it, I realize once again just how blessed I really am. I'm still quite young in the working world, and at this point it's really not about how much money I'm earning, but rather how much experience I'm gaining. The things I'm learning and applying now cover such a large scale that I often feel like I'm literally holding more than one position in the office. I don't know where all this knowledge and experience will lead me in the future. But from the first day I started this job, I knew I was there to learn and grow in ways I previously couldn't. And with that in mind, I have no doubt that God is truly blessing me now no less than He did when He first gave me this job.

With all that said, it's time to get ready to sleep. And I'm a little worried about it, since I tend to not know just how badly I'm hit by caffeine until the moment I lie down in bed and find myself wide awake. But I purposely finished that second cup of boba rather early, so that I would have a few hours to calm down before sleeping. Let's hope that plan works. After all, if the boss discovers that boba makes me unable to function at work the next morning, I doubt I'll be seeing another cup of Half & Half on my office desk again!

03/07: As I looked out the window last night and saw the rain, I suddenly felt unexplainably happy. For once, the weather had really worked completely in my favor. Ever since I got the privilege to be completely free on Saturdays (2/5 entry), almost every weekend was plagued by rain that prevented me making any big plans. But now things have finally turned around. This past Saturday was the first of three Saturdays in a row that I've already made plans for. As I walked around Westwood with my friends at UCLA, we couldn't help but complain a little about how it suddenly became so hot. Sure, it would have been nice if the weather was a few degrees cooler. But honestly, I couldn't have asked for anything better.

The sunshine not only made it convenient to run (scooter) from place to place, but also contributed to an amazing three and a half hours of car spotting at the Triangle. The many surprises of the trip include new releases (Mazda 2, Chrysler 300C, Chevy Volt), foreign cars (a Renault and a Seat), neoclassics (Tiffany, Spartan II), and of course, modern exotics (Veyron, R8 Spider, Mansory Vanquish, new 2011 GTR, and much more). What I found most surprising was that everyone I encountered in those few hours seemed to be unusually friendly. Valet drivers talked to me as I took pictures, and several owners waved and smiled when they saw my camera. A few even slowed down and revved. Maybe something about my hair or my shirt really stood out that day. But I'm pretty sure it was just the nice weather. Either way, I'm glad I wasn't the only one having a great time.

As for this Saturday, I'll be treating myself to another special appearance at Cars & Coffee Irvine (I won't ruin the surprise here, but feel free to ask if you want to know). Let's hope the weather remains cooperative once again. The following Saturday will be spent on an outing with my awesome brothers and sisters at BSF, which I'm really looking forward to.

I've always believed that living life passionately can produce a great joy that can't be experienced any other way, and I've confirmed that belief once again. I feel insanely sore from my fingers down to my legs, and it's difficult to walk without limping. But during lunch break today, I decided to keep up with my daily walk around the block, simply because it felt good. Yes, physically it's quite paintful. But behind every bit of that pain is a huge dose of contentment. I have been able to do several of my favorite things - visiting my old college, seeing my friends, and shooting exotic cars - and even though it required a little sacrifice, in the end I know that I have thrown behind the temptation to be comfortable and lazy and chased after things that make my life more fulfilling, and for that, every bit of pain resulting from it is worthwhile.

03/06: "There it is!" I didn't realize I had spoken out loud until I noticed that the random guy standing next to me was curiously staring into the horizon, wondering what I was pointing my camera at. Then the yellow and black object came closer, and his jaw dropped in disbelief. "Is that a Veyron? For reals!?"

It was for reals all right. And it wasn't just an ordinary Veyron either. This is Bijan's custom one-off Veyron painted to match his store on Rodeo Drive (and his other cars), complete with a huge airbrushed logo in the front and his autograph painted on the back. With careful planning, I had expected the famous designer's arrival at around that time and figured out the path he always takes to get to his store (since I had previously filmed him making the same commute in his yellow Rolls-Royce). But even so, I was shocked at how precisely accurate my imagination was.

"What kind of car is that?", asked a woman who saw me filming. This is not the first time I've been asked that question when shooting a Bugatti. And my reply each time is always the same. "One million dollars", I would say before running off to catch more footage and photos. The $1.4 Million price tag says it all; if you don't recognize this car, either you can't afford it or you don't know how to handle so much power. And I'm talking about thousand-horsepower, sixteen-cylinder, quad-turbo power, combined with exquisite levels of refinement only found in the most luxurious cars. How can a car designed to travel at over 250 miles per hour cruise down the street so elegantly and gracefully? That's the magic of the Veyron, and that's exactly what I had the priveledge of catching on camera yesterday.

03/05: It's such a strange feeling. The last time I was here, I was still an academic tutor with no intention of looking for a new job. Then suddenly everything changed, and before I knew it my life began to revolve around spending eight hours a day in an office. Weekends suddenly became much more precious, and even though I still had every intention to enjoy spending my free time with people I care about, I didn't put in nearly as much effort, simply because there were usually plenty of things to do at home that kept me busy on weekends. I hadn't been here at UCLA since last Octber, and since then a new quarter had already begun and is going to end very soon. That realization shocked me; ever since I graduated, I had never spend such a long period of time during the schoolyear without visiting. And even though finals are coming up soon and people are most likely busy studying, I knew I had to make this trip happen right away.

I told myself to stop thinking I'm crazy. Sure, most of my friends have already graduated. But does that mean I can stop coming to see those who are still here? There were many things I wanted to accomplish on this trip, from seeing my friends to shooting cars in nearby Beverly Hills. And I forced myself to forget about all the craziness behind it and focus fully on making the most out of this trip. Right now, it's that time of the trip when everything's said and done and I'm once again left by myself, ready to drive home whenever I feel like it. It's probably almost midnight already, meaning that when I get back home, it's going to be much later than my normal bedtime, especially now that I'm used to waking up early for work. But something deep inside tells me I can't leave yet.

I feel strange right now because even though I'm now a college graduate with a full time job, that part of my life suddenly seems so distant. I can close my eyes right now and swear that I'm still a college student. I traveled around campus, saw my college friends, hung out in Westwood, ate in Hedrick Dining Hall (thanks Sophie!), and drank my favorite Teafee. But one thing that makes this trip very different from previous ones is that, for the first time in years, I can sit here with full confidence that my life now is no less exciting and fulfilling than it was when I was a student.

Being here at UCLA has always brought back memories from some of the greatest years of my life, serving as a reminder that even though life after college can be difficult and confusing, God is still with me. But now, I don't feel that same need to soak in as many memories as possible anymore. Yes, I truly cherish those memories, and I know that many of them will probably last for as long as I live. But I've continued to move forward, and in the same way many great memories were made during my college years, such great memories are still being made in my life today, whether it's through my job, my relationship with God, or my friends that I have been able to stay in touch with all these years.

I find it quite amazing that, even though it's the end of Week 9 and finals are coming up frighteningly soon, I was still able to spend time with almost everyone I wanted to visit. I enjoyed lunch at Noodle Planet with Jerry, Christine, and Derek - friends from my fifth year (their freshman year) who are now seniors. I often joke that I feel like a dad watching them grow up through their years in college, but to be honest, it's truly an indescribeable blessing to me. A lot has changed since the year we all met while they lived on the same floor, but even though we all live very different lives now, today we had the chance to get together again and catch up. Going out for ice cream with Christine and Trinh at night was no less of a blessing. I've always felt that out of all the things I've gained from being a student at UCLA, there's truly nothing that compares to the relationships formed during those years. And now that these friends are graduating soon, there's nothing that brings me more joy than the knowledge that, even though we don't get to see each other very often, our friendships have stood the test of time and will continue to do so.

It's always interesting hearing people talk about the uncertainties of life after college. Thinking back now, it's really no different from the uncertainties of being a freshman in college - Everything's fresh and new, with rumors to be confirmed, mistakes to be made, and lessons to be learned. It was definitely a bit frightening, but as we grew over the years, were there not plenty of things to be excited about? I've made the most out of what God has given me control over, and entrusted the rest to Him. And as a result, I have found a great joy and peace from knowing that every story in my life can eventually have a happy ending, as long as I'm willing to have faith and persevere through the difficult times. And I pray and wish that all my friends can understand such a precious piece of wisdom, so that they too can experience that same joy and peace.

Now that I'm once again by myself after running around all day, I can't help but feel like singing songs of joyful praise to God, both for what He has done in the past and for what He's doing right now. If it weren't for the fact that I need to make sure I have enough energy left to drive home safely, I would love to sit right here all night, enjoying this amazing atmosphere of overwhelming joy. Several times today when walking with my friends, I had to stop to prevent my legs from cramping. And God only knows how exhausted I will feel the moment I sit down in my car to drive home. But to me, being at UCLA has always been about pushing myself to the limit in order to live a passionate and fulfilling life. And that's exactly what I did today. When I wake up tomorrow morning, everything that seems so real now will feel like a dream. But even when life gets tough, these words will testify to God's faithfulness and greatness, and I will know once again that He has not left me. And as for UCLA, I know without doubt that I will make every effort to be back again next quarter.

03/04: Adventure in a Cup

I've always felt that the most tiring days at work have been the ones during which business was slow and I had to look productive while actually doing nothing. But when combined with a generous boss and a Thank-God-It's-Friday feeling of relaxation, the result can be quite incredible. Not long after my boss returned to the office today after a lunch meeting to find us bored to death, one of my co-workers was recruited to make a run to a nearby boba shop that we've all heard amazing things about but never tried. It gave him a great reason to get out of the office, and it gave the rest of us something to look forward to. After an insanely long wait in line, he finally returned with our drinks, and it was time for me to take my first sip and confirm if everything people have told me about this new and amazing boba store is true.

Wow. Those of you who have been to Half & Half Tea House know what I'm talking about, and for those who haven't, go try it as soon as you can. I'm not sure why they called the place "Half & Half", but if I had to guess, it would be because of the half-hour average wait time to order a drink and the half-stoned look of excitement you get when you realize this is the best boba you can buy outside of Asia. It's no 50Lan (the best boba place on the planet), but it's close enough. And even though these drinks definitely ain't cheap (from what I heard), an occasional opportunity or two to enjoy such amazing boba justifies the high price tag.

My drink of choice was the boba & pudding milk tea - milk tea because it's a classic favorite, boba because boba & milk tea are a match made in heaven, and pudding because I've had it in Taiwan and love it, and also because I've heard many good things about it. The first thing that caught my attention was the unique "fat" cup design - a true attention grabber and a nice twist to your everyday plastic boba cup. But inside the cup is where the adventure awaits. From the big circular ice cube floating on top to the special sugar at the bottom, this beverage begs to be played with. My co-worker had lots of fun swirling his straw back and forth to mix the sugar evenly. Thanks to the unique sugar, the tea has a very unique flavor, not unlike the ones I've had in Taiwan. Every chunk of boba is juicy and flavorful, and the addition of pudding brings not only an additional source of flavor, but also a new texture. Each sip is a new adventure - an opportunity to get a perfect combination of each ingredient to go up the straw and into my mouth.

I'm back at home now, with my empty Half & Half cup sitting on my desk next to me. Thinking back now, I have only one major complaint - the wide-radius cup is a few millimeters too big to fit in my car's cupholder, which I imagine is a problem many people complain about, considering how most people who order boba take their drinks to go. But to be honest, I'm not even sure if the drink I got is the larger size or the smaller size, since I wasn't the one that went to buy it. Perhaps if they have a slightly narrower cup, or offer the option of a "normal" cup that fits in ordinary cupholders (assuming they don't already), then this problem would be solved. But still, I admit those fat cups look pretty awesome, and I'm definitely not going to allow the shape of the cup to prevent me from enjoying the best boba I've had on this side of the Pacific.

It truly amazes me to think that slow business at work can put a cup of boba on my desk, not to mention such an adventurous one. But that only gives me one more reason to love my job. With all that said, I wish everyone a Happy Friday, and if you ever decide to go to Half & Half, don't forget to give me a call!