02/29: Random entry, just because it's February 29th, and that only happens once every four years. The last time it was 2/29, I had just finished college with that memorable quarter in which I chose "homelessness" over comfort and effort over convenience for the sake of making the most out of my last days at UCLA, and had just kicked off my "official" tutoring job while trying to figure out what to do with my life in terms of family, friends, music, and more. Look at how things have changed since then! My tutoring job had launched into a full-time career, then declined until I decided to quit and move on after getting my current office job. I made over two dozen UCLA visits, until even the friends who were freshmen when I was a supersenior already graduated. The attitudes and life principles that I began to embrace during my college years continued to shape my life, and God continued teaching me new lessons and writing new stories that never ceased to amaze me. Who would have guessed four years ago that today, I would be writing this entry while sitting in my car outside an office during lunch break? Who would have guessed that tonight I will have the privilege taking my girlfriend out for dinner after work? Things have definitely changed a lot, and even though my life now has its share of crazy problems, I have confidence, backed up by all of the stories God has written over the years, that God truly has everything under His control, and that He truly knows and intends to do what's best for His children.

02/26: Given that I currently attend various church groups and Bible studies, and that life always throws its share of curveballs at me and those around me, I find it no coincidence that the lessons I've been learning recently have all revolved around the same subject, and that those lessons are directly applicable to both my current circumstances and the circumstances of many around me. That lesson is hardships - something we all face on a daily basis. There are all kinds of hardships - trials, temptations, difficulties, suffering, stress, and much more. And there are few people in the Bible who experienced more kinds of hardships and suffering than Paul did. During a recent discussion about Paul, one member of the group I was in brought up an interesting question - Should we purposely make ourselves suffer more in order to please God like Paul did?

I've attended Bible studies where the leader asks the group to put Paul's teachings to practice by scrubbing public restrooms and picking up trash. That's really more of a lesson of self-discipline, which is definitely a good thing, since it produces humility and a sense of moral responsibility, which can, in a sense, draw us closer to God. But it seems like some of us are under the impression that, just because we're not being beaten and thrown in prison like Paul was, we're not as "holy" as we should be. Yes, it's good to participate in activities such as fasting which allow us to focus on spiritual growth by making voluntary sacrifices. And yes, the Bible promises that suffering is an inevitable part of being a true Christian. But one thing we need to remember is that even if the hardships in our lives may not be life-threatening, they are by no means insignificant.

When I attended my church's small group during my high school years, I would ask people to pray for me regarding my academic struggles. But rather than take my words seriously, they would cite my past as a top student in junior high and jump to the conclusion that getting good grades was easy for me, even though I was attending a highly competitive high school in which I felt greatly discouraged by my inability to do well. I'm sure they intended no harm. But in the end, I felt estranged from the group and unable to connect with them. God created us all differently, and that means we all have different struggles. A big struggle for one may be small for another, and a small struggle for one may be big for another. Don't ever tell someone that their struggles are small or insignificant. Trust me, it hurts. And it's definitely not how members of the Body of Christ should be treating one another.

Some of us have trouble meeting the expectations of our parents. Some struggle to end an argument without having the last word. Others find it hard to resist the urge to get revenge when someone cuts them off on the road. Still others find it difficult to keep lustful thoughts out of their minds. We may feel that our hardships are nothing compared to the problems we see in people around us. And we may feel that they are too insignificant for others, or even for God, to care about. But let's be honest - are they struggles? Of course! At that moment, should they be considered hardships? Definitely. I know that cutting someone off won't make the light ahead of us turn green any faster, but I still feel like doing it. I know that stressing about work will not help me get things done any better, but I still let it consume me. The very fact that we know what's right but fail to do it shows that it is, indeed, a struggle. So rather than feeling like our hardships aren't important enough or we aren't suffering enough to please God, we should focus on how to respond to the hardships - both big and small - that God has placed in our current lives. After all, God does all things for a reason, and He is in full control of whatever difficult situations He allows us to face.

Paul's attitude toward hardships and suffering is one that we can all learn from. First, he embraces difficult times as opportunities to further give God glory. Second, he is more concerned with the well-being of the people around him than he is with his own comfort. Third, he lives his life with a purpose, and sets his priorities accordingly. His goal is to be a witness of the gospel to those around him, and everything that interferes with that goal is given a lower priority than the things that support it. In other words, he focus is neither on forcing himself to suffer nor on his actual sufferings, but rather on his ultimate goal - to "finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given [him] - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace" (Acts 20:24).

Of course, it's no surprise that most of us are nowhere close to having an attitude toward hardships like Paul's. But that doesn't mean there's nothing we can do to start viewing our everyday hardships in a positive and God-pleasing light. In a recent sermon I heard, the pastor explained stressful situations as opportunities for God's blessing and demonstrations of God's purpose. What a powerful way of thinking! There are countless people around me, not to mention myself, who are facing all kinds of hardships, from academic stress to financial crises to uncertainities about the future. But when I began to pray for us with the intention of giving God glory rather than simply having our sufferings removed, I began to realize more and more that God is really the only source of true hope that transcends all circumstances.

Given that God has great plans for each of our lives, and that life on earth will always consist of some degree of hardship, it only makes sense for us to consider how each of our struggles can reap the most benefit. I can choose to complain all day about my problems, and in the end, the problems are still there, and I'm still unhappy. But I can also choose to accept hardships as loving discipline from God to help me grow, and I will find both a hopeful process and a rewarding result. Even Jesus, as he was about to face one of the most gruesome and undeserved deaths in history, expressed to God his desire to have the suffering taken away from him. But ultimately, his prayer was, "not my will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:50). And it is because of his obedience to God that we can experience the freedom we have as Christians today.

So in closing, let us strive to let our hardships neither defeat us nor go to waste. Otherwise, it would truly be nothing more than suffering for the sake of suffering. When a hardship arises, whether big or small, whether internal or external, whether momentary or ongoing, remember that it is an opportunity for God's blessing and a demonstration of His purpose. He has a good reason for letting it happen, and He will give us strength and wisdom to get through it and grow from it if we trust Him. Then, in the end, we can look back and find joy in knowing more clearly than ever before that God truly is the unfailing author of our lives.

02/17: Belated Valentine's Day Entry

It seems like Valentine's Day almost always has one of two effects on people. For those who have a significant other, it is a day to celebrate love and do something special to show it. For those who don't, it brings a deeper and increasingly uncomfortable sense of emptiness. My friends in the latter group often refer to the day as "Singleness Awareness Day", or the very appropriate acronym "SAD". Personally, I never thought being single was necessarily a bad thing. After all, we all go through many different stages of life, and it's a lot more beneficial to make the most out of whatever stages we're in rather than wishing we were elsewhere. Having been single for 26 years, it wasn't too hard for me to brush off Valentine's Day and simply treat it as any other day. Yes, there were occasional times when I thought it would be cool to have a girlfriend. But I always swallowed those thoughts and allowed myself to stay focused on trusting God to do things according to His timing.

Each year on Valentine's Day, I would write down my feelings on dating, on girls, or on love in general. And one of the recurring themes in every entry was the idea of waiting and having faith. It has always been a struggle for me to find the right balance between trusting in God's timing and having courage to step out of my comfort zone. Sometimes, my selfish desires would get the best of me. Other times, my faith would become an excuse to hide where I feel secure. On one hand, my experiences with past crushes taught me that there was much for me to learn before I would be ready for a relationship. But on the other, I knew that life is an ongoing learning process, and that some lessons about love can't be learned without firsthand experience. Every Valentine's Day, I would wonder if, sometime during the year that followed, God would lead me to the girl who would inspire me to step out of my comfort zone for the first time and become more than friends with, whether it's someone I already knew or someone I had yet to meet. And I wondered when, for the first time ever, I would be able to celebrate Valentine's Day with someone special. As hard as it is to believe, that day has finally come.

I've told the story of how Tiffany and I met and became more than friends many times, but each time I think about it, I still find myself amazed at how everything progressed step by step, through the many unlikely circumstances and events that were simply too good to be mere coincidences. We were not looking for each other, but love found us both. We knew that the journey wouldn't be easy, but we believed that the benefits would far outweigh the sacrifices.

I had always daydreamed about making myself fully prepared for the day when I would meet my girlfriend - I would know exactly what to say to her, where to take her on dates, and how to welcome her into the picture-perfect kingdom in my heart that I would create just for her, never ceasing to amaze and surprise her beyond description. But the way Tiffany and I entered each other's lives and became friends was a surprise to both of us, and it didn't take me long to realize that no matter how hard I tried, I could never be a a perfect boyfriend or lead a perfect relationship. Three years ago, I wrote on Valentine's Day that "no matter what stage of life I’m in, there will always be areas that I feel like I need to improve in. A relationship involves two imperfect people learning together and helping each other grow. As much as I dream of making my first relationship as perfect as possible, it’s simply unrealistic to expect myself to be perfect to begin with. The real question I need to ask myself is when I’ll reach a point where having a girlfriend will not hinder our individual growths, but help both me and her grow as a couple and as individuals" (02/14/2009). Amazingly, that understanding of love was exactly what attracted Tiffany and me to each other.

I remember the night when we talked over dinner about whether or not we truly wanted to pursue this relationship - in the short time that we had been close friends, we had both made big mistakes that hurt each other, and there were many things in the future that could cause our relationship to become very difficult. But who were we to assume that being in a relationship would be entirely trouble-free? We are imperfect, but covered by God's forgiveness. We are prone to making mistakes, but willing to learn and grow from them. We are uncertain about the future, but willing to trust in God, seek His will, and let Him be the center of our relationship. After two months of spending lots of time together and getting to know each other better, all of those things were confirmed, and with that in mind, we both agreed that it was time to make our relationship official.

It was only natural for me to use the characteristics of love found in 1 Corinthians 13 as a guideline for how I should treat Tiffany. But even so, I find myself failing to meet those standards time after time. In fact, at one point I felt like such a failure that I told her with tears falling from my eyes that she deserves better and asked her to honestly tell me if she accepts me the way I am. I will never forget how quickly and confidently she said "yes". Through her affirmation, I've come to see more and more the beauty of a commitment-based love, a reflection of the perfect love that prompted God to send Jesus to the cross so that our relationship with Him would be made right. God is love, and true love can only come from God. He is the essense of each of the characteristics of love found in 1 Corinthians, and only by centering our relationship around Him have we found strength and wisdom to face hardships and grow together. Having gone through various difficulties and struggles, both big and small, we can now look back and say confidently that those times have been great blessings, because they have helped our relationship grow stronger.

One thing that had always encouraged me and others around me over the years was the idea that even though I didn't know when I would cross paths with my significant other, every day brought me one day closer than ever before to meeting her. And I can say now, with more confidence than ever before, that it's really worth the wait. Finding a significant other is a huge cause of worry for many people around me. Maybe it's because we're getting older, or because everyone around us is already in a relationship. Or maybe it's because we simply want to settle down, start a family, and move forward in life. Whatever the reason, remember that God is love, and He knows love better than anyone else ever will. He knows our past, our present, and our future, and He has control over all things. Does He not know and intend to do what's best for us? If God doesn't give us what we want, it's only because either it's not the best timing, or there's something better in store for us. And when it comes to love, I've always wanted nothing short of the best. So I waited patiently year after year, trusting in God while wondering to myself when the time will come for me to celebrate my first Valentine's Day with a significant other. And now that the glorious day has finally come, I can look back and confidently say that every moment I waited over the years was worthwhile.

God is truly an amazing God who orchestrates each of our life stories and allows them to cross paths with others in His perfect timing. And Tiffany and I both believe that this is only the beginning of the stories God is writing in and through us as a couple. Our God is an exciting God, and surely He has exciting plans for us, as long as we are willing to seek and trust Him. And in the same way I once took every Valentine's Day as an opportunity to reflect on how much I'd grown as an individual in preparation for a relationship, I can now take every Valentine's Day as a chance to celebrate the incredible relationship that God has blessed us with. It is my prayer that as we continue to grow in our relationship, we will strive to love each other not by our own means, but with the love that comes from God, from whom all true love comes, and through whom love never fails.

02/12: This is a story that I don't have the courage to tell. The time has almost come, and I am at the brink of being crushed by my ever-increasing anxiety over the uncertainties that have plagued me for months. With every breath comes a stronger sense of urgency to live every moment as if it were my last, as if all I know and hold dear in this world would soon cease to exist.

As far as I can see, there are three ways things can go from here. Perhaps now is simply not the time yet. Perhaps things will be able to proceed as they have been. Or perhaps life as I know it will come to a complete halt, and I will face humiliation and suffering like nothing I have experienced before.

Some say that I'm thinking too hard. But surely it is better to overprepare than to be seized unexpectedly. I am confident that those who love me will remain faithful, but even so I know that things may not be easy in the near future, and my heart breaks for all who may share in my suffering because of their faithfulness.

The world gives me an option to escape. But I am ready to take up my cross and get a glimpse of the life I deserve to live. Regardless of whether I will walk away from it or be nailed to it, I know that God has absolute control over all earthly authorities and powers. Someday, this story will become a testimony to be used by God to bless many. And I have faith that when that day comes, I will find courage to tell the story to the world. For now, I urge those who truly care to keep me in prayer. If God is willing, He will take the suffering from me. Yet not my will, but His, be done.

02/07: As unbelievable as it seems, it's already been three months since Tiffany and I officially decided to commit to our dating relationship. Thinking back at all of the moments we spent together, whether in person, on the phone, or simply thinking of each other, I can't help but notice just how much we've changed and grown. Of course, being in my first relationship took a lot of getting used to. Over the years, I had accumulated all kinds of images and ideas in my head about what a relationship should and should not be like, whether it was through church classes, TV shows and movies, or real-life couples. But suddenly, all of those thoughts were brought to life, and it was time for me to figure out through firsthand experience what it really means to have a girlfriend.

I knew that some things were easier said than done, and others simply couldn't be learned without experience. And I knew that facing conflicts and learning how to resolve them would be an inevitable part of a healthy relationship. So when I committed myself to Tiffany, I prepared my heart for all kinds of surprises, knowing I was about to enter a world that, though I've heard and learned much about it, was still completely foreign to me. And I'm glad to say that over the course of these past three months (plus the first two months we spent getting to know each other better before officially dating), I've confirmed a lot of my beliefs, learned many life-changing lessons, and grown in all kinds of ways I never thought were possible. Here are five of the important lessons that have played a crucial role in shaping our relationship up to now.

-A dating relationship is a transitional phase. In other words, it is meant for a purpose. Thinking that finding a girlfriend means the story has already reached its happy ending would be like getting into a good college and assuming life will be perfectly smooth from there on, only to realize that there are many more challenges to face and lessons to learn. College is only a bridge between grade school and the working world, and in the same way, a dating relationship is a bridge between being single and the "M-word", which I admit I'm still a little scared to think about. Thanks to a few leaders at Tiffany's church who gave me some words of wisdom, I was reminded that because a dating relationship serves a purpose, it also must be directional. In other words, it's not dating just for the sake of dating. There needs to be an ultimate goal, and even if that goal may seem a little far away at this point, I must overcome my fears and keep it in mind constantly, doing my part in our relationship while trusting God to do His.

-It's important to find a healthy balance between ourselves and others. Tiffany and I enjoy spending time alone with each other, whether it's relaxing on a couch or enjoying a meal. But there have been periods of time in which almost all the time we spent together was by ourselves, and after a week or so, I noticed that our relationship became very self-centered, and that something was definitely missing. Yes, it's great to spend time alone, but that can't be our only focus. We must also frequently attend activities that involve being with other people, or invite others to join our activities. It was through some of the conversations we had together with others that I became increasingly aware of how valuable our relationship is. I also slowly learned how to embrace our relationship in public settings in such a way that it doesn't draw too much attention to ourselves, but still makes the truth known (when appropriate). It has always been my prayer that our relationship can be one that blesses not only ourselves but also others. And it is by intentionally maintaining a good balance of time alone and time with others that we have been able to make our relationship one that people around us can embrace.

-Love always requires effort. I've known this for as long as I can remember, and I've always taken a quality-over-quanitity, effort-driven approach to friendships. But even so, I still found myself challenged by how important it is to put effort into a dating relationship (which I believe is, in many ways, a friendship taken to a much deeper level). Given how much Tiffany and I both value commitment, it's not exactly an option to not call her for a few days just because I don't feel like talking to her, or not listen to her just because I don't want to. Let's be honest, we all go through times when we simply don't feel like connecting with people, even those closest to us. And when conflicts arise, it's tempting to run away and pretend nothing happened rather than work up the courage to solve the problem. But whether it's talking things through after a dispute or simply overcoming my laziness for the sake of spending time with her, effort makes a tremendous difference. A love based solely on feelings and emotions will change over time and struggle to remain standing when its weak foundation is shaken, but an effort-driven love is prepared to face challenges and persevere through them. With effort, our feelings for one another have become even stronger, with the confidence of knowing that our commitment is much deeper than the emotions that typically characterize the beginning phase of a relationship.

-Differences are not always a bad thing. In fact, Tiffany and I have so many differences that, when a mutual friend who knew both of us from different social circles heard that we are dating, her first response was, "wow, opposites really do attract". Yes, our differences have definitely led to various disagreements. But the more I think about it, the more I realize how terrible of a place this world would be if I were dating a girl with a personality exactly like mine. There are many ways in which I am too aggressive and many other ways in which I am too passive. I am gifted in some areas, and weak in others. I am a unique creation of God, and so is she. And it is through our many differences that we can help each other grow in our weaknesses and shine in our strengths. Aside from our personalities, we also have different struggles and stumble most easily in different areas. But that leads me to the things we have in common - faith in God and salvation through the gospel of Jesus Christ. We're both imperfect people, but we have joy, hope, and freedom, knowing that God enables us to live lives filled with purpose and excitement. The whole idea of two people becoming one is something I have yet to fully grasp. I tend to have very high expectations for people I care most about, but I'm starting to understand more and more that the focus of a relationship shouldn't be on trying to meet each other's expectations or change each other's flaws, but rather accepting each other, walking beside each other, and helping each other along the journey. That means that because of our differences, sometimes one of us will have to stop and wait for the other rather than pushing on with one's own goals. But in the end, we come to see more and more that by humbling ourselves and focusing on helping each other, our relationship can make both of us stronger than we are as individuals.

-Don't compare. This is where it gets extremely personal. Even though I've never befriended a girl with the intention of becoming more than friends, as a single guy it was only natural for me to set various standards of "girlfriend-worthiness" and allow those standards, at least to a small extent, to affect how I think of girls. But being in a relationship meant that I had to intentionally curb those thoughts and learn to focus on the one girl who is more than a friend to me. I believe it is possible to do so while maintaining all of my existing friendships. But it definitely required a complete transformation of my thoughts about and attitudes toward girls in general. And one of the most difficult (but also most rewarding) lessons I had to learn was to not compare Tiffany with anyone else. The fact that so many people - even those seen by others as the most disciplined, faithful, and well-mannered - end up cheating on their significant others serves as a daunting reminder to myself that, even though I prioritize commitment, faithfulness, and obedience to God very highly, I am not immune to temptation. And I've come to notice more and more that the easiest way to let my mind fall into temptation is by allowing myself to compare Tiffany with other girls. Let's be honest - as humans, we have a tendency to want more than what we have, and that tendency can appear in relationships too. Even those who date supermodels may find other girls to be better-looking, and even people who think they've met the "perfect girl" will find other girls who are more appealing in one way or another. Appreciating various forms of beauty is a God-given ability. But we must discipline ourselves to use that ability only in a way that is glorifying to Him. Having a girlfriend doesn't mean that every other girl on the planet will magically appear boring, stupid, or unattractive. Instead, it means I have committed to accepting her the way she is and doing whatever it takes - even if it requires great effort - to love her as one who holds an irreplaceable place in my heart.

All of these things are lessons that I am continuing to learn on a daily basis, and I have no doubt that there will be many more challenges to face and new things to learn in the near future. I thank God for all of the difficult situations that Tiffany and I been through in these past three months, and all of the times in which we've made mistakes, whether in our individual lives or in our relationship, because each bump on the road has served to make us stronger. I've hurt Tiffany in ways that still break my heart every time I think about it, but her faithfulness in those times reminds me that I shouldn't give up when I feel like I'm not good enough. Instead, I should turn to God for strength and wisdom. After all, what purpose does our love have if it weren't for God's perfect love in which He sacrificed His son to set us free? It is by God's grace that we have come this far, and it is on His solid foundation of love that we must continue to build our relationship. I believe that three months from now, we will be able to look back and once again be amazed at how far God has led us. With that in mind, I praise Him for having written our love story up to this point, and look forward to letting Him continue to lead us according to His will.

02/05: Super Bowl Sunday

Soo... I've come to the conclusion that the Super Bowl should really be an official national holiday. First, it's more widely celebrated than many of the actual holidays. Second, the commercials receive so much publicity that they're sure to help at least a little bit in our economic crisis. Third, football is an integral part of American culture, so much so that the rest of the world refers to the sport as "American football". Not convinced yet? Well, that's too bad, since I still decided to use the Super Bowl as an occasion to throw a party. The funny thing is that I don't even follow football, and neither do around 90% of the people who came. But hey, we all love good food, and we all love having a good reason to get together and hang out, so why not seize this opportunity to make it happen?

02/04: Two Years of Exotic Affinity

As hard as it is for me to believe, it's already been two years since Exotic Affinity was launched, allowing me to share my car spotting videos with the world, not to mention have an appropriately-named identity in the automotive world. Contrary to what many may believe, getting rich and owning an exotic car is not one of my top priorities in life; if I can afford a supercar comfortably, there's nothing wrong with having one, but I'm completely content with living my life for more important things and letting cars be a hobby - a very exciting, passionate, and personal hobby.

I'm very glad that, even with the bad economy, exotic car manufacturers are still coming out with impressive new rides, and buyers are not only willing to dish out the necessary funds, but also eager to take their toys out to play. In this past year, I went to cover several events, including a meet at DC Motors, an open house at Hennessey Southern California, and the annual Concorso Ferrari in Old Town Pasadena, which allowed me to film many extremely rare, multi-million-dollar classic Ferraris. As for pure street spottings, I was amazed by both the cars in my area and the cars in Beverly Hills, which I found time to plan a few visits to.

Of course, I can't forget to mention good ol' Cars & Coffee in Irvine. This past year's special apperances were truly epic - a McLaren MP4-12C, a pair of Lamborghini Aventadors, the Aston Martin V12 Zagato prototype, a 1200-horsepower(!) Hennessey Venom GT, and much more. The combination of a suitably-designed parking lot and the event's increasing mainstream attention makes it a perfect opportunity to catch excellent arrival and departure footage.

Given the rarity of the cars filmed in this past year, it was only natural that I expected Exotic Affinity to grow, both in video views and in overall popularity. But what surprised me most was the exposure that it received thanks to some popular blogs and websites that shared the videos with the world. My McLaren MP4-12C video, which I finished editing and posted online within hours after filming, was not only the first of many from the special appearance that made it on YouTube, but also the one discovered by Jalopnik and featured in their blog about the event. About a month later, news of Bijan's tragic and unexpected passing, along with the discovery of a one-off collaboration between him and Bugatti that he was, unfortunately, unable to live to see, pointed many viewers to my channel, which contains probably the largest public video collection of his cars, including his famous yellow-and-black Veyron. Thanks to one blogger who included my video of Bijan's existing Veyron in an article about his secret project (a personalized chrome-and-yellow Veyron Grand Sport), the video made it to the front page of many popular automotive websites, including Autoblog, which I follow "obsessively" on a daily basis. I don't know who that mystery blogger is, but if I ever find out, I'll be sure to thank him.

A few months ago, a sudden surge in daily views prompted me to set a little goal for myself - to get one million video views by the end of 2011. It's not that I was really planning on doing anything in particular to help reach that benchmark, but I was truly surprised when the goal was actually achieved - on December 30th. In all honesty, with so many more important things to focus my life on nowadays, I haven't devoted nearly as much time to YouTube (or car spotting in general) as I used to. But it's definitely fun to check my stats every day and watch the channel continue to grow.

Throughout this past year, I've had the privilege of meeting several fellow YouTubers with similar channels. I've always felt that car spotting is more about creating a community rather than competing against one another. But somehow, I'm not all that confident about whether everyone else feels the same way. Whether it's through interrupting the videos with advertisements or disrupting the viewing experience with all kinds of messages telling viewers to subscribe, it seems like many spotters are more eager to boost their numbers on YouTube than they are to produce quality content. There's no doubt that their tactics work, giving their channels more than double the exposure of mine. But I consider it quite a shame that their videos - many of which are far better than mine in both quality and content, end up tainted by ulterior motives. I've always believed that if I truly love car spotting, then I should enjoy it regardless of whether or not anyone else shares the same interest. And that makes me even more thankful that there are several hundred people in over 70 countries who enjoy my videos and see exotic cars as masterpieces of art and engineering.

If finances and time allow someday, I would definitely love to upgrade my camera and catch more opportunities to shoot rare cars. However, at this point I really can't be more content with the way Exotic Affinity has progressed throughout its second year. A viewer once commented that it is one of the most underrated car spotting channels on YouTube. And perhaps that's the way it will always be. But even so, my passion for cars will not change, and I look forward to all the great car spotting adventures that await me in the future.

02/03: Soo... I've decided that I'm going to set my alarm for 5:00AM(!) tomorrow morning so I can force myself out of bed before sunrise to go to Cars & Coffee in Irvine, simply because I feel like it. And here's a few reasons behind my crazy decision-

1. It's been almost half a year since my last trip to C&C.
2. It's a good feeling to know that there are more reasons to get out of bed ridiculously early than to go to work.
3. With office life so busy these days, I'm in desperate need of some physical workout.
4. The weather is great - sunny, but not too warm.
5. Even if the turnout isn't that great, Lambo NB will be bringing out a fleet of cars, and that's always something to look forward to!
6. With life becoming increasingly busy, it's nice to be able to seize this rare opportunity to collect loads of footage.
7. Tomorrow is the two-year anniversary of the launch of Exotic Affinity.

It was that last reason that helped me confirm my decision to sacrifice my precious Saturday morning sleep to go car spotting. Besides, since I've got a party to throw on Sunday, I've already set aside the day to shop for food and clean the house - tasks that I can complete even if I feel a little lightheaded.

First car spotting trip of 2012, here I come...

01/28: Random entry while sitting by myself in my car in a parking lot, enjoying the beautiful weather, looking for nice cars to shoot, and just thinking about life. I haven't done one of these random solo mini-adventures in a while, and it wasn't until I got here that I realized how wonderful it feels to drive around and not have to worry about getting to a specific destination at a specific time. Life nowadays has been, to say the least, challenging, whether it's work, church, or my own well-being. And when things get busy, it's even more difficult to remember the most important things in life and keep my focus on them rather than on my immediate problems.

I want to thank the people closest to me, along with various church- and Bible-related activities I've been participating in lately, for helping me to not only stay sane, but also remember that there really is hope in Jesus that transcends all the problems in this world. Most recently, I've been learning a lot about how my faith should impact me in relation to the past, the present, and the future. Even though I've been a Christian for so many years, I often find myself struggling with letting go of my guilt, knowing that I've done a lot of wrong things, am still doing wrong things, and will always end up doing more wrong things, no matter how hard I try to improve. The older I get, the harder it is for me to accept this truth. But God knows exactly where I am right now, and sometimes it's during difficult times like this that I begin to truly understand the heart of the gospel message at a deeper level.

I'm pretty sure all of us have, at one point or another, asked ourselves, "why is this world such a messed-up place?" Whether it's natural disasters, social injustice, or simply idiotic people doing idiotic things, there are plenty of reasons for us to feel angry, insecure, or hopeless. Many of us do our best to try to make the world a better place. But in the end, it's still messed up in one way or another. And to me, the worst feeling is when I try to live by good standards but end up making ridiculous mistakes that turn me into the very opposite of what I want to be. I understand that if I did my best and end up facing unjust consequences, God will definitely fight for me. But what if it's my own fault? What if I've messed up so badly that the consequences in this world will forever haunt me, if not others as well? Sure, as a Christian, I can still go to heaven when I die. But here on earth, given how much of an idiot I can be, why should God give me any hope?

The truth is that we're all sinners who fail to come even close to God's standards. It's like two criminals who are both sentenced to the death penalty - Will it do any good for one to tell the other that his crime is less severe, when both are bound to face the worst of consequences? "The wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23). God is perfect and holy, and whether I steal a chocolate bar or rob a bank, I deserve the same consequence. Paul said it very well - "I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38). Jesus has already paid the price, and that covers even the worst of sins. It doesn't make him feel better if I wallow in my own guilt as a way to show him how much I need grace. His grace is already given to me, and what he wants me to do, once I've repented of my sins, is to get up, pick up my mat, and walk (John 5:8) - to leave the past behind and boldly move forward and live in freedom. God never told me He won't give me hope - I'm the one putting Him in a box and convincing myself that there's no hope. And with that in mind, I need to just let go of all the crap happening to me and around me, whether it's my fault or not, and be set free.

God offers His children hope that lets us forget the past, deal with the present, and focus on the future. "The gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23). Does that not give us something to look forward to in the future? And with that in mind, I should find motivation to live my life in the present with a new attitude. People have tried throughout history to come up with ways to explain our existence, our purpose, and why there are so many problems in this world. But even with so many theories, philosophies, and religions to choose from, none of them offer the kind of unconditional hope that Jesus does. Right here, right now, in this messed-up world, I - a child of God created in His own image with a purpose in mind - can live knowing that the perfect and loving God has everything under His control, and that this world is only a temporary stage of the eternal life in paradise that I am bound for! As for my sins, God is "faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9), and He will do so as many times as needed, because the price for our sins has already been paid by Jesus once and for all.

Sure, this doesn't mean it's okay for me to sin over and over again. But the fact that I will continue to make mistakes doesn't justify my choice to stop trying. Just as I must confess my sins to receive grace, I must accept the gift of grace in order to experience hope, joy, and peace in Christ. If there was no sin, then there would be no need for the gospel. And it is only by acknowledging my imperfections - and receiving God's grace - that I can live the life of freedom that Christians are called to live. In all honesty, I had no idea that sitting in a parking lot on a Saturday afternoon would give me this much inspiration. But I praise God for seizing the little time I've set apart for this "mini-retreat" and using it to give me a glimpse of His love. Now, it's time for me to start doing my best to live out what I believe.

01/20: It doesn't take long for people to discover that I like keeping my car clean, sometimes even a little too obsessively. But earlier this week, I suddenly came to the realization that my car was not just dirty, but probably more dirty than it's ever been since I got it. I wanted to point a hose at it and bring it back to its usual shiny state as quickly as possible. But upon realizing that this was probably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I decided to resist the temptation and have a little fun instead.

01/09: Winter Break

One of the biggest complaints I hear about transitioning from college to the working world is that there are no longer spring breaks, winter breaks, and summer vacations. Aside from occasional 3-day weekends, life really boils down to the same weekly routine year-round. But no matter what stage of life we're in, there are always people around us to remind us that it's a season to celebrate, whether it's our younger siblings, our friends, or our kids. Maybe it was the sudden increase in the number of teenagers running around the streets on weekdays, or maybe it was the Christmas decorations and music playing in the hallways, but even though I only got two days off work (for Christmas and New Year's), deep inside I knew without doubt that it was winter break. And looking back at these past few weeks, I'm truly amazed at how much fun I had.

01/08: A Prayer

The truth is finally starting to hit me. As hard as it is to believe, I am now officially, in a sense, homeless. You were homeless too, yet the Lord protected and guided you every day as you walked the earth. My life may be far from the pure, sinless life that you lived on earth, but if I am truly a child of God, then surely I will receive protection and guidance too. And that's exactly what I pray for right now.

As I set sail for this new and unknown journey, may nothing get in the way of my willingness to surrender completely to You, whether it's people, emotions, or materal things. God, You know my heart. I'm doing this for You, and if I'm not completely honest in saying so, then may You search my heart and point out my flaws so that I may have pure motives. May You grant me courage and wisdom to recognize Your voice and step out of my comfort zone when needed. May You grant me peace despite past hurts, and joy that overshadows my fears. May Your great and perfect will be done.