04/21: I still remember back in college when Jane took a picture of me to show me how ridiculous I looked while staring intensely at the computer composing music. It didn't really surprise me when I realized I looked like a serious and angry idiot. After all, my heart and mind were fully focused on the art I was creating. The combination of pressure to meet deadlines, passion for creating music, and my desire to make the most out of my time in college taught me to allow just the right amount of "distractions" while working so that they would help inspire and motivate me but not cause me to lose focus. I frequently invited friends over so we could keep each other company (and, miraculously, motivate each other to get work done). I also made sure my desk was never devoid of goodies to keep my digestive system busy.

Most of the time, I had a bag of chips or some sort of candy to munch on (at a painfully slow pace to avoid developing a habit of binging). Then there was the tea. Frequent visitors were familiar with the water boiler hidden in the closet and the large collection of tea conveniently located in my desk drawer. My cup was rarely empty. And because those were the years in which I fell in love with drinking tea (a trait that Tiffany is very happy about), the smell/taste of homemade tea often brings back many great memories from that time.

Ever since I graduated, it has been my wish to set up a "tea bar" in my room at home. But thanks to years of procrastination in cleaning my room to a point where I could make space for it, it never happened... until recently. Carol came up with the brilliant idea of using a set of mini drawers as a tea rack, and gave one to me last Christmas along with a few other tea-related accessories. That, along with the fact that Tiffany and I often hang out in my room now (with the door open, in case anyone assumed otherwise), gave me enough motivation to take a little action. And here's the result-

04/13: It's a little sad how, even though I'm a huge car freak, I know very little about how a car actually works. My dad wasn't particularly into cars, but his handiness with various household tasks leads me to believe that, if he were still here with me, he would have taught me a few things about basic car repair/maintenance. While my automotive enthusiasm is ultimately more of an artistic appreciation than a technological passion, I have always wanted to extend it to the way I treat my own car, not necessarily by putting a bunch of mods on it (since it's an expensive hobby and can often give off the wrong image), but simply by practical things such as keeping it clean and knowing how to take care of it. The former has been done religiously ever since I had this car, but the latter has been a very slow learning process.

Thankfully, God gives me opportunities to learn, and even though they tend to make me very frustrated in the beginning, I'm trying to see them more as chances to grow than as interruptions in my daily commutes. For a while I've been confident about changing wiper blades and batteries. And with the right tools, I'm pretty sure I know how to swap out a flat tire, after having seen the AAA guys do it a bunch of times. Not too long ago, I learned how to diagnose electric problems by checking the fuse boxes, helping me to finally figure out why all of the interior lights in my car had been dead for over a year and fix it right away. Then earlier this week I found out that the bulb for my left headlight had blown out.

It may seem like a very typical situation, but over the years I've been blessed with never having to change a single lightbulb both on my old car and on this one. When it comes to fixing things on my car, I guess I've always been a bit scared that my amateur attempts could lead to more problems in the long run. But by now, this car has gone through enough abuse (through a combination of my bad driving, idiots that don't pay attention to the road, and certain brainless mechanics) that my hands can't possibly make things too much worse. So, with the help of an incredible source of knowledge called YouTube, I opened up the wheel well liner last night and gave it a shot.

And the result? It worked! Not only so, but I also tried a little low-cost headlight restoration technique I stumbled upon on YouTube, and to my surprise, it actually made a huge difference. (I'll write more about that next time). Sure, to most guys out there, a simple job like this isn't worth bragging about at all. But I'll be honest and admit that, given my constant wish to excel at things that remind me of my dad and my growing insecurity from being unable to do so, this little accomplishment is a huge dose of encouragement.

So to celebrate, I decided to set my alarm at 5:00AM this morning and go to Cars & Coffee. Sometimes, even celebrations require sacrifice; I was awakened by my alarm while in the middle of a wonderful dream in which I had just ordered some mouthwatering food at a restaurant and was eagerly waiting for it to arrive. My first thought was, "you've got to be kidding me". I was very tempted to go back to sleep in hopes of returning to that dream and getting to taste the food I was innocently pulled away from. But of course, I didn't. There wasn't any special appearance at C&C that I was aware of, but I decided to go just because I could, and also to go on a relatively long nighttime (it's still dark at 5:30 AM) drive to make sure the new bulb doesn't explode or anything. (Trust me, when it comes to me trying to fix technological things, all kinds of crazy surprises can happen).

Thankfully, nothing crazy happened to my car. And even though the overall turnout at C&C was a bit disappointing due to the surprisingly gloomy weather, I definitely can't complain, especially after a 1956 Ferrari worth over $1.4 Million(!) randomly showed up. Plus, I went to check out a LotusTalk gathering afterwards, witnessing a group of 15 Lotuses (Loti?) rolling together, like a giant bag of wonderfully noisy Skittles spilled across the street. The two events combined kept me busy until halfway through the afternoon - definitely a rather elaborate celebration for simply changing a lightbulb.

I'm starting to understand more and more now why people like to modify or fix their own cars. Some want to improve performance while others want to look cool. But ultimately, the joy that results is from having invested the labor of their own hands into their vehicle. Like in any personal relationship, money alone can't solve everything. Creating a personal bond takes time, effort, and understanding, and as I learn more about my car and try to solve problems with my own hands rather than simply paying others to do it, I'm starting to get a much deeper feeling that the car I drive is, in fact, mine. And I definitely hope to continue seizing opportunities to expand my knowledge about car maintenance/repair, even if only a little at a time, so that I can use it to save money, help others, and develop a deeper connection with my car.

04/11: Ever since I came to see life as a collection of stories, I try my best to be transparent whenever it's appropriate to do so. However, I must confess that I'm not always good at it, and I've come to see that in these past few years, there have been more and more occasions in which I choose to hide the problems in my life rather than openly share them. And I really don't know why. Sometimes, it's because I feel ashamed of my mistakes. Sometimes, the problem isn't even my fault, but still I choose to not talk about it. Perhaps I'm trying to give others the impression that my life is perfect? I know that doing so would be a lie, and it scares me to realize that I've become so different from the person I have always tried to be.

I guess the problem stems from the possibility that there are past issues that I have not fully dealt with deep inside. Almost two weeks ago, a trip to church for rehearsal was interrupted when I got a flat tire. Sure, it's just a tire and nothing worth getting ticked off about; that's what some people told me, leaving me no choice but to want to distance myself from them for being quick to judge and slow to consider. My immediate anger resulted from a connection I instantly drew between this incident and a previous one several months ago, the climax of a time of rebellion against God and frustration toward people and things around me. And the spark of that incident resulted in the mess that followed only because of a close connection to yet another incident, one that I consider one of the most shameful times of my life.

My immediate decision after my tire went flat was to blame the fact that I had done nothing wrong to cause the mishap. I left home punctually, fled the temptation to make a two-minute detour to shoot a very rare car, and resisted the urge to honk at idiot drivers around me, all so that my focus would remain on God in preparation for the rehearsal at church I was headed to. Had I chosen to do any of those things differently, things would probably have turned out better. And from the moment I rooted myself in that conclusion, I held the incident against God, refusing to let it go. Deep inside, I knew it was a foolish decision, since God is sovereign and knows what's best. But somehow, I simply stopped caring. And I began to fall for the trap of thinking that God is supposed to treat me better when I behave better, when in reality His love covers me regardless of whether I'm right or wrong.

I talked with Tiffany about the struggle in my heart, and was surprised whe she told me how big of a difference it has made in the way I interacted with people around me. I'm truly thankful for her honesty, and even though it hurts a little, I'm more encouraged by it than I am frustrated. A part of my heart is still hardened at this point, but I know that God is working in me, and I know that all of my thoughts and attitudes now are not beyond His sovereign plan.

I've come to see that I have an abnormally low tolerance for facing difficult times, to a point where I often feel helpless about it. The BSF notes I read yesterday explained that a person's attitude toward hardships directly affects how God can use him/her for His purposes. It may seem like common sense, but looking back now, I see that I don't really make an effort to improve my tolerance of things beyond my control. I want to be used by God. I want to live the incredibly fulfilling life that comes from surrendering to Him. And I know that the peace that results from doing so is greater than any pain found in this world. But simply sitting here and wishing is not going to change anything. God sees my heart; He knows exactly where I am now, and He knows my struggles even better than I do. And I know that He is willing to meet me right where I am and guide me as I grow. So I simply pray for wisdom and courage to look beyond the difficult moments, whether from the past, the present, or the future, and have faith that God does, in fact, know what's best.

03/29: Oh, what an ironic country we live in. People are so eager to celebrate holidays without actually caring about their significance. It's kind of like how lots of college campus clubs seem to turn every occasion into a reason to throw a party and drink the night away, whether it's the beginning of the school year, the end of midterm week, a national holiday, or a random Thursday night. Every kid in elementary school knows to wear green on St. Patrick's day and eat turkey for Thanksgiving. And now that Easter is approaching, most stores have altered their decor to show some variation of bunnies, eggs, and pastel colors. I'm not saying that frequent joyful celebration is a bad thing; I too enjoy seizing holidays and long weekends to plan big gatherings with my friends. But in all honesty, do a bunch of cute bunnies and colorful eggs really call for a nationwide celebration?

When comparing those bunnies and eggs to a famous man who innocently died for the good of others, it doesn't take a genius to point out which deserves more recognition. But ironically, our nation as a whole seems to choose the former and avoid the latter. We publicly recognize people like Martin Luther King Jr., Christopher Columbus, Cesar Chavez, and former presidents who made a significant impact in our nation's history, but we denounce those who publicly recognize Jesus Christ who died for the sins of the world. Why? The mention of God may be offensive, and that's not acceptable because it's a free country.

But from that stems yet another irony - Are we really "free" when we are confined to swimming in the shallowest of waters for the sake of political correctness? The issue isn't just religion, but also political beliefs, cultural differences, and simple lifestyle preferences. Whether homosexual marriage is legal or illegal, someone will be offended. Whether it's better to rescue an animal or cook it for dinner, someone is going to complain. Simply put, it's impossible to please everyone, and trying to do so will either cause more division or strip away the things that make life truly meaningful. Easter, without its true meaning, is not only a purposeless holiday, but also a sign of the increasingly shallow direction our nation is headed in.

As Christians we know how crucial the true Easter story is to the faith we build our lives upon. Jesus Christ, having lived a perfect and sinless life, was sentenced to a tormenting death meant for the worst of criminals. In fulfilling God's most incredible demonstration of true love, Christ took the punishment for sinners and defeated death so that we can have eternal life and a personal relationship with God. But from that stems the greatest irony of all, one that I too am guilty of. We believe and acknowledge that we are nothing without Christ, yet time after time we choose to live apart from Him. We know that the wages of sin is death, yet we still choose to indulge in it. We know that our sins are already forgiven, but often still find ourselves trapped in guilt from past wrongs.

Easter definitely isn't the only time to celebrate the Cross, but it's a good reminder of what we too often take for granted. Being a disciple of Christ means surrendering our lives to Him, and that means there are sacrifices in our lifestyles that must be made on a daily basis. Maybe that's why people don't want to publicly recognize the true Easter story. Believing in a deity isn't particularly difficult or offensive, but when it comes to having to make sacrifices, humble ourselves, and step out of our comfort zones, we begin to hesitate and take offense. Even as a believer, I often refuse to trust God when His will seems to clash with my own. If only I can truly understand the extent of the power of the Cross!

The Cross covers all, past present and future. Everything I have done wrong in the past has been fully forgiven by the One to whom it is most offensive. No matter how many mistakes I make in the future or how far I stray from God, there is no distance too great for His grace to cover. And because of that, I have strength to cherish the present, knowing that I am accepted the way I am and will forever live under God's grace.

My prayer for this Easter season, then, is that I will strive to seek the power of the Cross. Too often Christians think of the cross as merely an ornament or religious symbol, essentially reducing it to the same shallow level as the bunnies and eggs. Yes, the Cross is a symbol, but it is a symbol so powerful that, as long as I choose to accept it in my heart and live by it (a choice that must be made repeatedly), I can be confident that it will never fail me. And I pray that as I make that choice once again, I will do my best to commit to it and not stray from it.

03/20: Recently I have been learning a lot about prayer - A seemingly simple action that too easily strays from its meaning and purpose. Genesis 32 records a very wise prayer from Jacob that set an excellent example for believers to follow. It demonstrates not only how to pray and what to pray about, but also how God can work mightily through prayer.

Having run away from his brother Esau about 20 years ago after deceiving him in order to obtain their father's blessing, Jacob had every reason to believe that Esau was out to kill him, and it was time to face the truth. He sent messengers to Esau, only to hear that Esau was headed his way with a seemingly daunting group of 400 men. Struck with fear, Jacob divided his camp into two groups, hoping that by doing so at least one of the groups would have a chance of surival after the seemingly inevitable attack.

Then he remembered to pray. "O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, Lord, you who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’ I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two camps. Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. But you have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’ (Genesis 32:9-12)”

I don't need to describe step by step how Jacob approached God in this prayer, but it's important to note that only one phrase involved actually asking God for help. Most of his prayer focused on God - His character, His abilities, His promises, and Jacob's humble position in relation to Him. Too often I pray in such a way that my "conversation" with God becomes a list of tasks I want Him to complete for me. God already knows my circumstances, desires, and needs, even before I tell Him about them. Yes, He wants us to bring our request before Him, but it is because we need to acknowledge our dependancy on Him, not because our wishes will be granted as if through some magic spell.

In order to entrust our problems to God, we must first consider who He actually is. Most of us naturally behave differently around different people, whether it's our parents, our friends, a teacher, a police officer, or a pastor. We also have different ways of presenting our needs and desires to them, simply because of who they are and their positions in our lives. How pointless it is, then, to shove our problems at God Almighty and assume that He would yield to our command? Jacob didn't blame God for his situation or ask Him to make his life easy and problem-free. Instead, he acknowledged God's sovereignty by citing His promises, then honestly expressed his fear and prayed for protection.

In the end, God answered Jacob's prayer. It wasn't because He changed His sovereign plan due to Jacob's request, but rather because the prayer was sincere and rooted in God's own character and promises. It's also important to note that the circumstances before and after the prayer were exactly the same. Esau and his 400 men were still headed their way, and Jacob's men were still no match for them. So how, then, was the prayer answered?

God didn't change the circumstance, but He changed the individual. Jacob's actions and decisions before and after his prayer revealed a dramatic transformation of his attitude. Rather than focusing on potential failure, he began focusing on potential success. Despite still taking wise precautions for protection, he prepared an incredibly large gift as a representation of his sincere apology and instructed his servants to approach Esau in great humility. He, too, approached Esau with a servant's attitude, bowing down to the ground before his brother who he called "lord". Rather than assuming defeat and trying to minimize inevitable casualties, Jacob began planning how to do his part in accomplishing God's promise of blessing him with numerous descendants, which his faith now rested on.

The following chapter of Genesis reveals a touching scene in which the two brothers, upon being reunited, wept as they embraced each other. There was no violence, and Esau even kindly turned down Jacob's generous gift until he insisted on giving it, once again showing the sincerity of the offer. Had Esau attempted to fight or accepted the gift without hesitation, it wouldn't have been wrong; after all, Jacob's deception cost Esau far more than what the gift could repay. But God first prepared Jacob's heart through his prayer, so that when he rejoiced over his brother's willingness to forgive him, he would know that it was an undeserved blessing from God, not the result of his own strategy or generosity.

It all began with a simple decision to surrender to God - a decision that we often have to make today when faced with difficult or uncertain situations. Jacob's words were an expression of his heart, and it was his attitude that allowed God to bless him. Do we tend to focus more on minimizing our potential failures or maximizing our potential successes? It's not just an issue of being naturally more optimistic or pessimistic, but rather a decision of whether or not to trust in God and accept the peace and hope that transcends all circumstances.

So it is my goal from now on that, each time I pray, I will begin by looking into my own heart and checking my attitude rather than foolishly setting expectations for God based on my own desires. God is the same, both before I pray and after I pray. Genuine prayer may not automatically make life easier, but it surely brings genuine peace. After all, the truth is that none of us really have complete control over over what tomorrow has in store for us. But we do have control over our attitudes. And by remembering God through prayer and surrendering ourselves to His sovereign will, we can believe without doubt that He will give us whatever is needed to fight the battles ahead of us, because the ultimate victory belongs to Him.

03/15: Once Upon a Chip

Oh, the good ol' college days. Most of us in the dorms were not 21 yet, but with enough determination and the right connections, smuggling alcohol was never too hard of a task. Some attempts were no less conspicuous than a giant sack being dragged down the hallway with the sound of glass bottles clanking inside. After all, the rule was that as long as alcohol was not seen or smelled, nobody would get busted. In otherwords, just keep your door closed and your mouth shut, and you could drink all you want. Personally, I was rather turned off by the crazy partying lifestyle, so I never drank in the dorms. But it was always very entertaining to see students struggle with whether to admit to or deny their love for alcohol when confronted with the issue.

The story begins one afternoon during my junior year when Richard (my roommate) returned from the market in Westwood with two bags of Kettle Brand chips. Both were very unique flavors, but one in particular called for a little test of our floormates. Our room was always open to visitors, so when people stopped by to say hello as they usually did, Richard handed them a chip without displaying the bag. Curiously, they would ask what flavor it was, and we would tell them to taste it first then make a guess. There was no doubt it was a peculiar taste, and many could not pinpoint it. But on a few occasions, the subject's eyes would light up with excitement as he made his seemingly unbelievable guess - "Is that... beer!?"

Yes, sir, it's beer indeed. This was one of Kettle Brand's brand new flavors, "Cheddar Beer", a fan-suggested idea that actually tasted like beer but could be puchased without an ID. The other flavor, "Spicy Thai" (a.k.a. "Ginger with Attitude"), was just as unique, featuring a blend of Thai spices that made every bite worth savoring. As Richard's roommate, I was blessed with the great privilege of having immediate access to the chips, which often ended up sitting on my desk. And when the two bags ran out, it didn't take long for me to make a trip down to Westwood myself to refill our supply. Needless to say, it also didn't take very long for us to figure out who the alcoholics on our floor were, especially after they repeatedly came back for more chips.

For the rest of my college career, those two flavors became a regular part of my diet. And it was easy to enjoy them in very mild quantities; each chip consisted of so much flavor that it only took a few bites to leave me fully content. The combination of the two bags could often provide me with an entire month of pleasure.

Unfortunately, the glorious days of college life were bound to end, and after I graduated, the chips became a fading memory. Years later, I was reminiscing on my time in the dorms when those crunchy goodies suddenly came to mind. It had been so long that I had forgotten the exact taste of the two flavors. But I soon realized that I had only forgotten them because I had not seen the chips for sale anywhere over those years. And that's when I discovered that perhaps the flavors are not always as easy to find as they were when I was in college. I began longing for the day when I would somehow cross paths with them again so I could bring them home and experience once again that blissful first bite that would instantly bring me back to the good ol' college days.

That day finally came last summer when Tiffany and I were enjoying a nice Saturday afternoon walk in Brea and decided to take a peek inside BevMo. Their selection of chips was nowhere near as big as those of major supermarkets, but it was clear they only chose to save their shelf space for the best of the best, among which were a handful of Kettle Brand's Spicy Thai chips. I bought a bag and opened it at last summer's barbecue party, introducing "Ginger with Attitude" to all of those who arrived before it ran out. There was only one question remaining in my head - What about Cheddar Beer?

I decided to turn to the Internet for help, and was soon faced with some tragic news - The Cheddar Beer flavor, despite being a fan favorite, had long been disconinued. In other words, I would be better off buying a lottery ticket than trying to search for it. Deeply saddened, I had no choice but to conclude that what was already a fading memory would, in fact, remain as nothing more than that.

From then on, I spoke of Cheddar Beer as a legend, a treasure of the past that deserves to be remembered - and brought back to life. Of course, only Kettle Brand themselves could perform such a noble task, and I hoped deep inside that they would hear the cries of many fans and grant us our wish.

I don't know if I'm just lucky or if there's some kind of divine intervention involved, but it turns out that Kettle Brand just celebrated its 30th anniversary not too long ago, and there were rumors that, to mark the occasion, they would bring back a limited batch of four retired flavors. Earlier today when I left the office, I decided to take advantage of the good weather and extra daylight hours by enjoying a relaxing drive around town. I found myself at the BevMo in Walnut, with the intention of picking up a bag of Spicy Thai chips for next week's BSF fellowship. When I arrived at the small chip section and found the Kettle Brand products, two strangely familiar words caught my attention. There they were, right before my eyes - The long-lost Cheddar Beer chips! The packaging had been changed to reflect the 30th anniversary celebration, but a quick glance at the information on the bag left me with no doubt that I had finally found the great treasure I thought I might never get to see again.

03/13: Just uploaded a huge batch of new pictures yesterday. Of course, by "new" I'm talking about anything from last summer until now - basically whatever was not done being sorted and edited at the time my computer crashed. At last, for the first time in way too long, picture uploads are now just about fully caught up. The next big task, much of which has been completed already, is to go through thousands of files that have been moved between various computers and memory devices over the years and organize them into proper folders, deleting duplicates and making things easy to find in the future. This mess is the result of years of laziness and procrastination. But it's finally time to change that, and I will not stop until I do.

Other than that, there's only one more thing I was deprived of during the absense of my computer that I still haven't gotten to - Working on my own music projects, namely completing the many pieces that I have started over the years but never actually finished. Now that all my "official" music projects are done (except for the upcoming Easter concert, the actual creative process of which is already finished), anything else I make can be purely for the sake of wanting to create art. And having learned many lessons about staying disciplined, I'm more eager than ever before to get started.

Actually, I could have started a long time ago, but I purposely held myself back for the sake of getting the more tedious tasks out of the way first, since jumping into music projects can easily draw my attention away from all the less exciting but still important things. And the thought of being able to make and hear music straight from my heart again helps me stay even more focused as I get everything else done first.

This past weekend has been a very inspiring one, thanks to several opportunities to enjoy different types of artistic expression. On Saturday night Tiffany and I went to see Wicked - my first musical since I was too young to remember and a belated Christmas gift from her that we had both been looking forward to. In keeping with the Ozian theme, we watched the new Oz movie on Sunday, enjoying a different take on the same world. Then came the latest Dream & Imagine Coffeehouse, which as always, consisted of an amazing group of artists and musicians.

After experiences like this, I often find myself unable to sleep well at night because of very vivid dreams that consume my mind. Sure, I often wish I can do a better job of maximizing my precious sleeping hours. But at the end I'm always more thankful for the ability to be creative - a glimpse of God's infinite greatness when He created mankind. I can't wait to start working on my own music again, and I pray that when I do, I will strive to make the most out of the creative spirit that God blessed me with, doing so as a celebration of His glory.

03/07: Last night, Tiffany and I enjoyed flipping through my old high school yearbook together. It brought back many memories that I had the chance to share with her - Memories of a time when I was torn between a childlike desire to have faith in God and a deep sense of insecurity about my daily life. We flipped to my senior year picture, next to which was my senior quote. I still recall the long struggle I faced when it came to coming up with a good quote. I consulted past yearbooks for ideas from former seniors, but also wanted something original. I wanted something that could capture more than what I was fully aware of at the time, something that I would want my peers to forever remember me by, even though I saw very little hope in my own future. In the end, I settled with the following words-

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:12).

To be honest, I was ashamed of those words for a very long time. Sure, several seniors in past years had also used Bible verses as their quotes. But those words were, in my 17-year-old mind, too lengthy and too serious, and for years I was afraid to open my yearbook and look at them, believing that they would only further remind me of how I felt like such an outcast in high school.

It wasn't until my college years that I began to understand life as a collection of stories written by God - A life-changing mentality that I am still learning to embrace today. I came to see more and more that even though it was easy to evaluate my peers based on academics and social status, deep inside we all had our struggles, and no matter how hard we tried, in the end life is still far too big for us to fully grasp and control. Over the years, some of the people I considered good friends lost interest in maintaining our friendship, while others that I didn't know very well eventually became good friends with me. Some are already married, and some have become extremely wealthy. Dispersed throughout the country, we are all, in one way or another, living lives different from what we expected back in our days at Troy. Who were we to ever think that we had control over the future?

I can never forget when a friend from Troy told me confidently that I would live a very happy life. She was not a Christian, though she knew that I was. I'm not sure if my faith had any contribution to her words, but over the years I wondered what it was she saw in me that made her so confident about my bright future. Looking back now, I'm glad to say that she was right. But it's not because I'm smart, rich, popular, or hard-working. The true reason, which I've come to understand more and more over the years, is in those very words from Philippians.

Many people have told me that I find joy in very small things, and I consider that a great blessing. Whether it's through exploring unknown places on my college campus, taking a picture of a rare car, or gazing at the stars in the sky, I've come to see life as God's masterpiece. In nature I see the beauty of His creation. In man-made things I see the intelligence that He blesses us with. The more I see, the more certain I am that He is indeed sovereign. Even in times of pain and struggle, He is the perfect author of all of my life stories, through whom alone true joy and contentment can be found.

As I shared my thoughts with Tiffany, I came to see even more that God has indeed been working in my life before I even realized it. I don't think I can ever forget those moments in high school that I spent wishing to be someone better than myself. I looked to those who had high GPA's, those whose names graced the school newspaper, and those whose boyfriends or girlfriends seemed bound to be with them forever. Even though I never considered dating in high school, there were always the few model couples that convinced me that true love in high school was not just a fantasy. Yet today, not a single one of those couples is still together. Past relationships are precious learning experiences, but somehow I was always convinced that I should wait and let God write my love story. And little did I know that, despite my struggles and insecurities at the time, there was already a girl from a different school that God had in mind for me. We were still many years away from crossing paths, but God was already providing for us and preparing us for the day we would meet, teaching us to look to Him for strength. Whether we are in need or have plenty, I pray that together we can continue to embrace the joy we share in Christ, letting Him write our story according to His will.