06/22: It's been over a year and a half since Tiffany and I decided together to look for a new church home. While we've been very committed to the few churches we chose to visit, I admit it's been a rather slow journey. Sometimes, transitions were made complicated by a lack of childcare or by Covid spikes. Other times, I simply struggle with a lack of focus and motivation. The truth is that, as far as we can see, we've already narrowed our choices down to just two options. But that's also what makes the next steps so difficult. We've been deeply committed to and involved with both for quite some time already, and personally it's becoming more and more clear to me that each has unique strengths that I will find very, very hard to give up.

One thing I need to constantly remind myself of is that I can't treat this process like a competition in which there will be a winner and a loser. A part of me is often tempted to imagine that maybe something will happen to us at one church that's so messed up that we will easily cross it off and declare the other as the winner. But the truth is that any church that teaches the Truth exists for God's divine purposes and can be used by Him to bless people, and at the same time, any church that offers a genuine Christian community will be made up of imperfect people prone to making mistakes and hurting others. That's why we all need God's grace, which is what unites us as believers. With that in mind, it would be wrong of me to step into any gathering of believers with the intention of picking out flaws in order to justify bias or judgement.

Then how are we supposed to know what to do? This is why the decision is so challenging. In the coming weeks, we plan to take a few steps that should lead us much closer to understanding each of the two church communities. Also, I recently signed up for a few potential opportunities that might (and I hope will) deeply impact my faith journey if they come to fruition. There's no timeline yet of when anything will happen, but I know that as long as I'm doing my part, there's no reason to doubt that God is certainly doing His.

I may not know for sure how things are going to play out. But I believe that, based on my understanding of God's heart for His people and His church, perhaps we should be praying for the positive rather than the negative. God doesn't intentionally cause His church or people to do something harmful or sinful, but He does intentionally use them to pour out His blessings on others. We've already been blessed in so many ways, but I think it's safe to say that, when it comes to our faith, we can definitely use a breakthrough. Perhaps God will allow something to happen through one of these churches that's so positively impactful and life-changing that we'll feel a deep, inseparable bond to the community and a desire to commit wholeheartedly to it and bless it as we have been blessed. We know that no church is perfect, but we pray that in the midst of imperfect people, God will reveal His heart and will to us. Where we choose to leave behind, we pray that God will bless every relationship formed and continue to use every leader, every individual, and the community as a whole to expand His Kingdom and make disciples. And where we choose to go, we pray that He will grant us the humility to accept imperfections and the joy of mutual blessing and growth as part of a healthy God-centered community.

05/10: It's odd how now that we're well past the latest Covid surge, I'm still stuck working from home indefinitely. After returning to the office for a whopping one day last month, several of us were told to go back to full telecommuting again due to ongoing construction/remodeling of our floor that may have negative safety/sanitary impacts. As of last week, other groups in the building have already begun carrying out the process of increasing in-office staffing each week. Not sure how much that will affect our group in the weeks to come, but for now, it doesn't look like we're going anywhere until all the remodeling on our floor is finished.

In other news, Amias turned three a few weeks ago, and finally had his first birthday party, with both sides of the family present. The pandemic gave us a good excuse to wait until this year to have a birthday party, and personally I think it's so much more meaningful this way since he's actually old enough to understand that it's his special day and appreciate having his own celebration. As the summer approaches, I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities for more parties, whether it's for birthdays/holidays or just random get-togethers. Who knows, maybe we'll throw another good ol' BBQ party for July 4th weekend!