02/29: yea yea so you all prolly heard enough about the passion of the christ already... so if u dun want another watcher's opinion, u dun hafta read this entry. i heard as much as everybody else did about how the movie's gonna touch my heart and make me cry and everything... but i purposely kept myself from raising my expectations too high (so it wont turn out like another matrix revolutions...) and i watched with the same attitude as any other movie. to be honest, this movie is really gonna make you think, regardless of whether or not you believe in God. i've heard the story of the cross way too many times, but seeing it portrayed like this is definitely a first. when i read Jesus's last words in the bible time after time, i failed to realize that at that moment he was barely even capable of speaking anymore. and the pain that he went through is really impossible to imagine without having seen it the way this movie portrayed it. when i was in junior high, i once figured that if God told me i was supposed to die on the cross, i would do so willingly and without hesitation, because i know it's god's will. but i hafta admit i was wrong... i don't think i'll ever be strong enough to bear the same pain that Jesus went through, which right now i can barely stand looking at on a movie screen. when Jesus was praying for God to spare his life, God reminded me of the times when I was little and i was about to get spanked by my parents for doing something wrong. i was so afraid of facing even one moment of physical pain, and i would cry and beg my parents to spare me and not punish me. and that's about as close as i ever got to the cross. jesus's pain was infinitely greater than anything i ever went through, and most of all, he did absolutely nothing wrong to deserve it. many people who don't believe in christianity still believe that jesus once walked on the earth. through this movie i realized that it's pretty much impossible for any man to bear such pain for his beliefs, unless it is really the truth. even without thinking that the man on the movie screen is suffering for my sins, simply seeing such punishment being given to an innocent man is enough to make me cry. there are certain scenes when i had to force myself to close my eyes, because it was too much emotion for me to handle in a few short hours. but i think i'll be watching it again prolly next week, and i know the second time will be no less meaningful than the first. so yea, if you haven't watched the passion, take my advice and go see it. it's ok if you don't believe in God... even if you watch it as just a historical event, you will understand why the tickets are selling out so fast.

02/26: went to Intervarsity as usual, especially now that i'm on the worship team. i showed up like 15 minutes late (the time i usually arrive), and allt he lights were on and there was no worship, so i got kinda confused... and then i heard "jesus lover of my soul" comin from the room above me, and i looked in the window and there was a bunhca ppl worshipping... so i assumed IV probably switched rooms. and i went in and joined the worship... then at the end i found out i accidentally went to the Navigators meeting instead! hehe... nuthin wrong with that, even tho i feel guilty that i didnt show up at IV. hopefully they wont kill me... hehe anyways weekend's almost here again... it seems like i'm pretty free so far, so if u have any plans pleez invite me! hehe... ok das all for now, byebye!

02/22: going to cell group last night helped a LOT... baldwin's message, even though it confused a lot of people, really meant a lot to me. and also i got to hang out with ken, denise, and madelyn at the mall yesterday instead of being at disney. that helped cheer me up too. now before i shut up, let me recommend something to you - UCC's new sunday school class, taught by Gary Aven. its basically about creation vs. evolution, and the first session was this morning. ive always been somewhat interested in this topic, especially now that i'm in college and my earth sci professor is a hardcore evolutionist. but aside from learning facts, i also realized (once again) how small i am compared to all of creation. and that helped prepare my heart for worship in Xperience. so yea, church today was totally awesome. o yes and we're all gonna go watch the Passion after church next sunday, and everyone is invited, so if u wanna come then let me know! hehe... i g2g now byebye!

02/21: long-awaited disneyland trip was "cancelled since it was raining too hard, so we jus went to have lunch instead". combined cell (with UTPC, originally next saturday) was postponed indefinitely, which pretty much means it's cancelled. my ebay sales are driving me insane, after finding out that ANOTHER bastard (there were two already) ask to remove a bid, making me waste my seller fee AND the precious time it takes to earn this money. all that plus a bunch of very random crap all popping up at the same time. dont get me wrong, i really love surprises. but generally i like things organized and planned out, and random unnecessary change of plans really doesn't do me much good. and worst of all, i seem to be having trouble with forgiveness, even though i don't intend to hold grudges. it probably started during the summer, for some unknown reason... it seems like a new side of me was born, and it started to grow uncontrolllably. i always try to be extremely nice and friendly, and some people naturally assume me to be really 'innocent'. and now there comes that other side of me, an angry, bitter, criminal-like personality, and even though i know it's not how i want to be, i can't help it. i don't want to lose who i want myself to be known as. but the latter personality is slowly beginning to steal that precious heart of joy and satisfaction that God has given me. exactly which one does my heart really want? i'm sure it has to be the innocent one, but why is it that i'm always having trouble dealing with even the smallest problems (not to mention the bigger ones)? right now i'll just assume its cuz of the rain, because as i mentioned near the end of last year, i've grown to hate rain more than just about anything else. when the storm is over, i hope my heart will also be at peace again...

02/20: riding a scooter might kill you (if ur not careful), but it can also save ur life. heres wut happened to me: i have a psych quiz every friday at 3, and since my entire grade is based on 8 of these quizzes, missing one quiz means i cant get an A. and i know some people that werent allowed to take it anymore jus cuz they were like 10 minutes late to class, but i never thought it would happen to me since i'm usually good at punctuality. and then today i guess something weird happened, and i somehow assumed the quiz was at 4 instead of 3, so i was in my room reviewing and playing computer games, and suddenly i get a call from van (since she and jen are the same class and we always wait for each other before class). she asked me if i was on my way, and i had no idea wut she was talkin about, then i suddenly realized my calculations were off by an entire hour. and i looked at the time, and it was 2:55 (the walk to class is 15-20 minutes). so without another thought, i grabbed my scooter and scantron and left rieber. and it took me 6 minutes to get to Moore 100. i was like a minute late but still allowed to take the quiz. so yea... thats probably my fastest trip down the hill ever, and hopefully something like this wont happen again. but besides having to be more careful remembering when class starts, the moral of the story is to get urself a scooter, cuz one day you might need it too!

02/17: as u know, i love playing piano... but my favorite use of playin piano is when i play as part of a worship team. soo... last week intervarisity was doing sign-ups for worship team auditions. and guess who signed up? hehe... well the audition was tonite, and i had to go all the way to the apartments on Veteran by myself in the dark! i was lookin for a short way to get there and i followed the map, and at first it was pretty good, since it was all downhill. then i realized i was surrounded by complete darkness, with a freakin GATE blocking me from veteran, which the map apparently left out. so yea, had to navigate with a little red photon light and find my way back up the hill. luckily i had my scooter, so everything went very fast. and then i finally found my way to the back side of DeNeve and started goin downhill to veteran along the sidewalk. and again, it was very very dark so i couldnt see too far ahead. and then the sidewalk pavement suddenly ended and became dirt! grr... i almost died right there!

anyways, i finaly found my way to my destination, and i was actually 10 minutes early =). it turned out there were only two people auditioning in my group - me (piano) and shannon (vocals). we waited outside for a while and got to talk and get 2 kno each other better (since we just met when we arrived). it was really weird though, even though we never knew each other before, when we played "god of wonders" together it was like perfect coordination, and we knew exactly wut we were thinkin. so yea, hopefully we both made the team for next year. i cant wait!! hehe...

02/16: i had to take a shot today! oWw... now my arm is all sore.. stOopid hepititus B... actually i arleady took the shots before, but now suddenly UCLA wants my records, and the doc said i need an additional booster shot. and i was soo scared cuz i havent taken a shot in almost a decade. but yea, it wasnt that bad, except now my arm feels realyl sore and weird. hopefully i'll still be able to take my scooter to class =)

so yesterday after church i found out that HOC people were takin a break from their weekly college meeting thingy, so we got to spend plenty of time havin SHAVED ICE at life plaza!!! gosh i havent had shaved ice for like three weeks!! i'm starting to get addicted, and its all thao's fault! hehe and michelle made this lil design with the lil mini boba balls, it looks like a fuzzy ball with eyes on it... i luv itt! =) hehe yea i jus had to write about that cuz it was sooo cool. and then today afternoon i finally started workin on putting new pictures on my site. lets see... i'll have pix from winter retreat, the cell hotpot (last year), kings ball and the mtna recital all up at the same time. and i already asked jennifer(ting) to keep bugging me online until i finish putting them up. so yea, at this rate it shouldnt take very long. and i would do more right now, except its already very late and i think i should go get some sleep, so i can study well tomorrow for wednesdays earth sci midterm. wish me luck okee? hehe... good nite!

02/14: the past few days have been pretty busy, so i didnt have much time to write until now. well today was the MTNA winners recital. i had a really nice talk with my mom last nite, and now i'm starting to think more and more about deeper reasons behind me winning this competition. some of you know that i once considered majoring in music, but still decided against it because so many people told me there wasn't much i could do with a music degree, and instead suggested going for something more practical. so thats kind of why i ended up in engineering. i just kinda chose it out of the blue since i didnt want to be undeclared, and since its a hard school to get into and i actually made it, i jus decided to stick with it. but then after taking a variety of classes at UCLA, i realized engineering really wasnt working for me, and so a few weeks after this quarter began, i made up my mind to switch out. so what am i gonna take now? i'm not sure either... and then i realized that time after time, it seems like God is giving me hints that i'm not through with music yet. before i stopped taking lessons last summer, i entered a couple competitions, and since i won, i had to play at the award recitals, which was after i already stopped learning. and as for my composition class, i guess nothing big happened after i stopped writing music for JOCs. and before i stopped learning, the last thing i did was send in my most recent piece to the MTNA competition. i already entered before but never won, so i knew it was extremely difficult. and then suddenly i win, now that i'm not even learning anymore. i might have dismissed it as just another music award, but then when i was calling my mom thursday night and she told me i got first place for the National competition, i knew there had to be a message behind it. God has to be doing this for a reason. it seems like even though I'm no longer learning piano, i'm constantly being reminded that my gift in music will not leave me. so is this a sign of where God will lead me in the future? its really hard to tell, especially because taking music requires a huge sacrifice. once i take music, i'm pretty much stuck with it, and my degree wont' do me any good outside the field. so i'm really afraid to take the risk unless i know it's what i'm supposed to do. gosh, i'm sooo confused... and i pray that God will show me a very clear sign of who i was made to be. and if he says music, i'll gladly go for it =).

02/10: gosh... soo much stuff to write about. and its all random stuff so im gonna split it into different paragraphs! yea i know, i never used paragraphs until the last entry, and i finally realized it would make reading much easier. so yea... hope it helps! hehe anyways first thing - little corrections to the previous entry - the shirts were not crossbones... they were um... cross-swords? or wutever those are called... the pirate sign! hehe and also i said 'tonight' at one place and i meant 'last night'. guess i was kinda dosing off when i wrote. but owellz... sorry if i confused u... hope it all makes sense now.

next thing: i took pictures at the mall on sunday!! with my cool sis carol!! hehe... go ahead and check them out under the misc. pictures page. and of course, if u want the actual pic, carol and i both have plenty to give out, so feel free to ask us! =)

now that i mentioned pictures... once i find some free time, i'll post pics from winter retreat and king's ball. o yea and the auto show pix too, even though i'll prolly put those on a separate page like all the other auto show pix. so yea, i'll keep u updated on when they're gonna be posted!

and one more thing to say... MTNA! i dun think i wrote about it here, but amazingly enough, my days of piano recitals are STILL not over. i won the composition competition for southwest division, and so i'm supposed to perform in long beach this saturday. but since it's extremely expensive to hire co-performers (violin, cello, and 3 percussions), and since its so hard to find time to rehearse, i figured i wouldnt be able to play. so i emailed MTNA (during winter break). but apparently they didnt get the email, so dis week we've been phone-tagging back and forth... today they finally reached my mom at home, and so my mom told them wuts going on and they said they still want me to show up, even if i cant perform. so guess my saturday is all planned out already (sorry, i wont be at cell!). but as for the details, im not gonna know until i call them tomorrow morning. ive been out pretty much all day until like 11:30, and its obviously too late to call them. o yea and i also won for nationals, which means i'll be going to kansas city next month! but again theres the money & time problem, so hopefully i'll be able to get that worked out too.

so exactly why did i stay out so late? 3:30 was pumello time, then i jus stayed in sproul and studied, then went to math midterm, and i made it bak just in time to meet with jen to go watch hidalgo, and i came back to my room at 11:30 only to drop off my posters, then go to dinner with jen, van, and aaron at puzzles (since i had no time to eat yet). and then i checked my messages (AIM and phone) and found out that my mom's been desperately tryin 2 reach me about MTNA, so i called her bak, and meanwhile jen van n aaron had no clue wut took me so long, so i told my mom i'll call her bak, then went down to puzzles first, then i called her bak, then i got my food, then i ate, and now its past midnite and i'm finally bak in my room. this is the latest i ever stayed up this quarter (yea i kno, sleeping well on schooldays is really really important to me). so i prolly wont be gettin breakfast 2morrow, for the sake of sleepin a bit more. and tomorrow's gonna be a busy day too, classes pretty much all day, then prolly watching love actually at night. and at the same time i hafta do homework, and also work out all the MTNA stuff as soon as possible. o yea and a gazillion people are IMing me right now... why tonight!??! why not some time when i actually have time to talk?? *soo sad* gosh i wish i can magically give myself more time to spend. but yea i think i'm just babbling now so i'll shut up and go get ready to sleep! byebye!

02/08: O how I dreamed about that night, how I dreamed that we could fly over all the world so high Under The Western Skies. If I only had one wish, I would wish for one more try to give you everything we missed Under The Western Skies... at last, the wait is over. king's ball was sooo fun, at least in my opinion. i kno i prolly drove kelley crazy for havin to deal with the biggest nerd date in the world. but hopefully she liked it too. so anyways, dis is wut happened tonite - 5:45 i got to kelley's house (wow... who knew i would find myself in rancho ever again...), and she gave me the outfit she selected - pirate shirts!! hehe... they got the lil skull n crossbones thingy, perfect match for the dance's theme (pirates of the carribbean). i'll post pics up when they come out. then we went to pick up liz (my wife! hehe i finally get to meet her in person!) and we went to dennys for dinner. on the car kelley said she could cluck a whole song, but she used the mint in her mouth as an excuse. but luckily i'm not as forgetful as she thought, so she had to cluck at dennnys anyways =). and i also found out liz's secret talent - making abstract art with food! lets see... onion ring, shrimp tail, mustard and jam, and wut else? i dun remember... but anyways then after dinner we came out and it was sooo freakin cold but we still stayed outside and looked at these lil plaque thingys along the sidewalk with info on rancho history. sumthin about the kucamonga indian tribe.... i cant remember. but yea, its only like my 2nd time in rancho (3rd time if u count transformations camp last last summer), and i'm already learning about the city history.

then we got bak on da car and i sent liz back home and then went to RCHS with kelley. and then *pOoF!* i found myself at my first high school dance ever. haha yea i kno thats sooo sad cuz i already graduated, but at least i got to go this once. so first we took pictures (which i cant wait to see), then went inside to dance. and thats when i truly realized how clueless i was... and again i prolly drove kelley absolutely insane. *feels soo bad* but yea, i thought it was fun =). anyways then we left early to go pick up liz at the bowling alley to go watch Big Fish. and for some reason kelley decided not to introduce me as liz's husband. then on the way out, liz suddenly screamed and ran back inside, and meanwhile kelley and i waited outside and counted down to see if we could guess when liz was comin bak out. at the end we both won (cheater!! hehe j/k). so exactly why did liz run back inside? *laughing so hard* she left her shoes in the alley and came out with the bowling shoes!! haha yupyup that's my wife! if u want to hear a much better version of the time at the bowling alley, go ask kelley cuz she said it really really well last nite but refused to write it on this entry for me =/.

anyways then we went to edwards for Big Fish. we kinda overestimated our time, and plus parking was so far away, so we had to run to get there as soon as possible. and liz THOUGHT she ran fast until i beat her to the door =). and we made it just in time before the previews ended. big fish... very interesting movie... when we got out it was like 1 already. and i was soo surprised that this time my mom totally trusted me staying out so late and didn't call to see where i was. so then i sent liz home then sent kelley home, then went home myself at like 1:45. hehe... thats probably as late as i'll ever stay out... but it was definitely worth it. gosh... two years of dreams and expectations, and also tears and heartbreak, and now everything suddenly comes together and makes perfect sense. when i first realized i wasn't going to king's ball two years ago, my prayer was that god would bring the story to a happy conclusion. and as far as i can see, this is about as good as it can get. of course i'm not saying that the story has to end right here... but for all i know, right now i'm as satisfied as i can ever be. thanks soo much to everyone who shared my pain during the last two yeras and helped me live through the most difficult times of my life. thank you Mom for learning to trust me and for being so supportive and encouraging. thank you Kelley for giving me one more chance to make up everything we missed. and thanks God for taking me through the greatest story of my life.

02/05: today was a very very interesting day... went to pumello time with crystal and jessica again, and this time van was able to join us too =). i think i'm starting to master the art of eating pumellos without making a huge mess all over the place. and then jessica went to class and me van n crystal stayed in the sproul lounge to study. and we all got sooo tired so eventually van fell asleep on the couch, then i moved to a couch to sleep, then crystal went to sleep, then jessica came bak and she had no clue wut was goin on, so she went to sleep too! it was sooo random... 4 ppl all sleeping in the study lounge. and crystal's "bed" was two of those single-seat minicouches or wutever they're called, connected together, and she slept in the hole in the middle... it looked soo funny! i think everyone that passed by prolly thought we were either drunk or simply insane. but hey, its midterms week, so strange things can happen =). anyways then when we finally decided to say byebye, van realized she was too comfortable in crystal's blanket, so she walked all teh way bak 2 hedrick wrapped in a blanket! gosh... where's my camera when i need it!?!? hehe well i jus found out on monday that my chem midterm is tomorrow, but i guess i got lucky, cuz there's nothing much to study for. i went to review session last nite and the prof covered pretty much everything he taught in all the lectures (believe me, his lectures are really slooooowwwwwwww). o yea and we also get a full page of "cheat sheet" notes, so that covers all the forumulae. and the periodic table is on the wall =). ok so i guess i'm all set. and rite now i'm studying more while listening to david benoit's "american landscapes". its like the only jazz cd i really like, and i havent listened to it for a whole year so i really miss it. ok and one last thing before i shut up... kings ball is in TWO DAYS!! aAH! i'm soo not ready... *panicking* but yea a nerd's gotta step out of his comfort zone once in a while rite? hehehe i cant wait! =) okee well gonna go study now... byebye!

01/31: long time no write... im jus gonna babble about a bunch of random things about this week. i joined jessica and crystal's "pumello time" and i totally love it, so im gonna bring my own pumellos from now on =). watched big bounce on tuesday for FREE... and van and i were in the way front of the line =). also we got a bunch more posters! i had worship practice with josh last nite and he was kind enough to pick me up from school in the afternoon, and on the way we saw this old guy driving a citroen 2CV. is that thing even street legal here? i think any two adult guys can easily pick it up and walk away with it. and the wheels are about as wide as my bike's. then before worship practice josh and i went to meet choe and victor for dinner @ tasty house. and tiffany(tai) happened to be there too, and she kept tellin me which dinner specials are better and which ones suck. worship practice was really fun... we didnt really practice cuz the copy machine broke so we didnt have music until the way end. and then afterwards we went to chill @ tea station until past midnight =). o and i also got to say hi to everyone at KFC/JOY cell, since i havent been there for like half a year already. and then this morning... went to tutor steph again and she made me coffee! hehe then came home and sold more stuff on ebay then went to church for more worship practice. and im supposed to do worship for cell tonite but for some reason the transparency box @ church disappeared, so guess i'm gonna write them all by hand =/. and also i'm pretty frustrated at whichever mailman that was in charge of delivering my letter to kelley with the kings ball permission slip, cuz for some reason it never made it there. but luckily i made an extra copy of the form before mailing it, so i jus whited out everything and re-signed it. looks almost as good as new =). carol's piano lesson got moved to the afternoon today, and they jus left rite now, so i'm gonna be home alone until cellgroup. i think i better start picking worship songs for tonite... so i guess i have to shut up!

01/25: heres a special shoutout to my fellow CONDENSED BINGERZ!! hehehe today was soo fun! went to chill at HOC in the afternoon... got to meet even more people there. the college meeting was sooo fun! it was long but still soo enthusiastic and funny, and still i learned a LOT =). and thao, holly, prudence n me went to life plaza for shaved ice!! so last time we went, we drove the waiter crazy by insisting on having condensed milk on the side. and we did the same today, except the waiter forgot, so he had to give us an extra condensed milk =). and we ordered spicy chicken, and told him he has to bring the chicken AFTER the shaved ice. hehe im sure the waiters all love us =). and we wrote little messages to him before we left! im pretty sure in a few months everyone there will remember us =). anyways then i went home and packed for school and went to dinner to celebrate benben's b-day... HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENBEN!! hehe... and at souplantation i first ran into one of my Yamaha students from a long time ago... gosh its been soo long and i can barely remember working there =/. and then when we went in to eat i ran into jennifer! hehe... souplantation is one of those places i ALWAYS see someone i know. but anyways, now im finally bak @ school! o yea and one last thing before i shut up... I'M FINALLY BACK IN BUSINESS!!! *sooo happy* once again, i get to sit at my desk and watch overly desperate and rich people fight over my posters =). this is sooo fun... especially cuz they dun know i got them all for free! hehe ok well anyways i'll shut up now... byebye!

01/24: jus got the King's Ball permission slip from Kelley during cell. im staring at it rite now, and i'm so happy i dun think words can even describe it. its such a miracle that i would ever place my signature on something like this, and even as i filled it out i found it was hard for me to believe that i wasn't still dreaming (it's past my bedtime after all...) but yea, king's ball is in two weeks, and i'm totally looking forward to it. ok fine i admit it, i'm also very nervous, cuz i have NO IDEA how to handle something like this, being the nerd that i was and still am. but still... i know its gonna be awesome, and im gonna be counting the days all the way until feb 7 =).

01/21: my new scooter came last night! for the most part im very satisfied with it. the biggest problem is that the handlebar is really hard to raise/lower. but other than that its really good. compared to my old one, the JDBUG is a little taller and longer, and much nicer overall, cuz it has footgrip to prevent slipping, and front suspension which i absolutely love =). and u kno the coolest thing i found out? i knew very little about scooters, and at first i was wondering why mine doesn't say "razor" on it. and then i found out that a jdbug is the same thing as a razor, except its imported from europe! and u probably know how much i love imports (remember when i got my derliou5 cds?), so yea, obviously im very happy about it. just hope i can fix the handlebar to slide a little better, then everything will be perfect =)

01/19: im back at school now and guess wut... the internet aint workin, at least not fast enough to satisfy me. so im downstairs in the lab rite now =). first of all, yesterday was carol's piano recital and i got see my teacher again, along with everybody else i used to see at my recitals. *sniff* i miss piano sooo much.... anyways then at nite i went to watch along came polly with ken and denise. then we went to hang out and Hangout! haha... i didnt kno theres a place called 'hangout' until last nite. o and on the way there, the cops were like totally crazy... they were EVERYWHERE and pulling people over like crazy. it was pretty scary... anyways then after Hangout we decided to all go to *drumroll* mi casa! hehe... yea i know, big surprise that people will actually come hang out at my house at night. but hey, my mom came up with the idea, so why would i say no? hehe... and then today before sending me back to rieber, my mom, carol, and i went shopping at westwood! then we had dinner at some teriyaki place... it was sooo good =). and then in my room i look behind me and see david playing super mario world... haha i thought i was da only one on campus thats crazy about emulators. jon was in the room watchin us play and we kept makin the stupidest mistakes and dying. anyways, then i tried to get online and found out it wasnt workin. weird though, cuz dc++ works perfectly, and so does some websites. but most sites and AIM dont work at all =(. so yea, finally i gave up trying and came to the lab, so here i am writing this stupid entry. and guess wut, i have nuthin else to say, so i'm gonna go bak now!

01/17: hmm... im writing jus to say hi cuz im about to go to sleep but i dun feel like turning off the comp yet. but a little update on my life: yesterday i came home earlier than expected, thanx to nina's dad for giving me a ride. and i came in my room and found a cadillac XLR sitting on my desk. to be honest, even though i haven't been buying nearly as many models as i used to, i still love them just as much. so yea, special thanx to da-tong-shru-shru for giving me the XLR =). anyways i jus got bak from cellgroup at julia's house. i think our cell is showing a lot of progress these last few weeks, and works is much better than it used to be, at least for my groups. so yea, everybody in S.O.L.D. keep up the good work! o and when i was driving back, i experienced the CRAZIEST FOG STORM in my whole life. since i always drive with windows open, i found it really weird how suddenly my windshield fogged up. and so i stick my head outside and realize that its not just my window but its all fog, so thick i can't see my own hood (not exaggerating at all). and headlights were pretty much no good, and i couldnt see the traffic light, and i couldnt see the ROAD. it was soooo scary! luckily i was the only car cuz i kept swirving out of my side of the road since i can't see the lane at all. ok now before i shut up, one last story that makes my fog experience seem like nothing - this morning my mom was bringing carol to her piano class and they were driving up a hill (one-lane road with cars parked on both sides), and suddenly they see this car zooming down the hill and swirving like crazy. the emergency ligghts were on, the door was open, and there was NO DRIVER IN THE CAR. yea, it was just rolling freely down the hill and bouncing off the cars that were in its way. luckily my mom dodged it by letting it pass on teh right side (yea it was sliding in the opposite direction lane). i dun think anyone got hurt, but it really sucks for the person that has to pay for all the damage. so yea, a moral for all of you that drive - if u ever leave your car while parked on a hill, USE THE HANDBRAKE! ok thats all for now, im gonna go sleep now! good nite!

01/13: THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT... such a good movie!! must see it when it comes out later this month. and yes i saw it already cuz the sneak was tonight =). and $2 movie matchstick men is tomorrow so i'll prolly watch that too.

01/12: i dun think my scooter likes bruinwalk, cuz its so steep and so bumpy and i go thru there every single day... so anyways today my scooter is officially retired (broken beyond repair), the steering column is messed up so the front wheel is pretty much free to spin around wherever it wants. so now i need a new scooter. and guess wut... i got a jdbug for $16. i luv ebay! hehe and plus its an original razor so it should be easier to repair or modify than the old one. now i jus hafta wait for it to arrive (its coming from washington).

01/10: one of the best things about being in southern california is that america's 3rd largest auto show is only about 45 minutes away. so of course, i've been going to the convention center every single year, and this year i chose TODAY =). and ricky and eugene went with me so i had some company other than carrs. hehe... but yea the show was awesome as usual. we got to meet this one racecar driver and got his autograph. and then we wanted to get porsche posters but the wait was about 20 minutes, so we found a random corner and sat down while i charged my camera batteries with one of the outlets =)... and we just sat there and read catalogs and played bigg 2. hehe... o and i saw another xj220!!! it was on display in kentia hall... and also they had a few cars from 2fast2furious... skyline, s2000 and charger. and of course, i took lotsa nice pix. and so did ricky, so this year i'll be posting up BOTH of our pics =). and since they're all digital it should be much easier to post than before. so yea... hopefully i'll have it ready in a few weeks. for now i'm gonna go sleep!

01/09: It all happened on this ordinary schoolday afternoon. A great miracle, so great I never dared to even dream about it before. Never had I experienced such inspiration and motivation. With it in mind, nothing could go wrong. As long as it existed, I lived in perfect joy and satisfaction. Some of you may recall seeing these words in special website i made to commemorate an event in my life i never want to forget. i'm bringing it up now because just moments ago, that same incredible miracle happened again. it was no less unexpected then when it happened two years ago, and it's still hard for me to believe that its true. but yea... im soo happy right now i dont know how to describe it. for those of u who know the story, after about a year it eventually faded out and no longer bothered me the way it used to. but now, suddenly i find myself re-living the happiest and most motivating period of my life. and the best thing is that i have matured greatly through my past mistakes, and i can now promise that i won't allow anything to hinder this miracle again. in fact, i'm looking forward to it already. February 7, 2004... i can hardly wait any longer... King's Ball, here I come!

01/09: jus finished my first day of classes... my schedule this quarter is pretty crappy, but i guess its a good thing. on mon-wed-fri i have class at 9AM, 12noon, and 3PM. so yea... lotsa big gaps. and i think these gaps came at the perfect time - im probably not gonna return to my room in the morning, so i can spend time on campus alone like i often do, and i'll use the time to do homework and do devotions, which i just started today =). and then today afternoon was the weirdest time of my life... i was at the 2nd story window (rieber) tryin to make a phone call when suddenly van showed up. and for the next HOUR (literally) we stood at the window and stared down at the construction workers. and it was soooooo fun! hehe... yupyup thats my new hobby. well i jus got bak from my afternoon class - psych. its gonna be so fun, cuz jen and van are both in my class! so finally someone to help me on homework when i need. well rite now im in the mood for... remixing! hehe... ive been remixing a lot lately and its getting pretty addictive again. so yea, time to get to work! byebye!

01/07: i feel like such a nomad... first i pack for winter retreat and live in teh mountains, then a few days later i'm back at home, and then i pack again and now i'm back in my dorm. im very glad to know that my friends actually missed me over break and we were all soo happy to see each other again. i got to go have lunch at BK with van, jen, and jen's cool friend danny. we got lost on the 2nd story parking lot and didnt know how to get down! hehe... and then we went to shop at Best Buy for like over an hour. and then for dinner i met with the same pplz plus aaron and we went to eat at DeNeve. and guess wut... my first meal this quarter, and the ice cream machine wasn't working. im gonna go crazy.... it better work tomorrow cuz i NEED my rb float =). anyways then at night we made our usual wednesday-night expedition to Rite-Aid to get our bottle of Fizz. and on the way back we talked about the wonderful idea of starting a Straw Ensemble where we all learn to play straws (since van's an expert) and become famous =). o yea and aarons gonna get a GO board pretty soon so maybe we should start a ucla GO club! hehe... i suck though cuz i havent played for literally a whole decade. but anyways... thats about all i have to say for now. to everyone at ucla i didnt see yet... hope to see u soon! and all my friends at home... dun miss me too much! hehe byebye!

01/06: went to the mall with debbie may amanda and denise (wow... another denise... haha). i met amanda last time at gameworks even though i never knew her name, and i met denise today and shes cool too =). first picked them up from walnut (haha suck for them... school already started! hehe) and made a lil stop at the Water Mart to get some... *drumroll* water! hehe then went to mall and watched something's gotta give. we went to get pretzels first and it took FOREVER so we missed the first couple minutes but its still pretty good. the best thing about today is that we actually got to hang out after the movie instead of just watching movie then sending them bak right away. may had to get bak to school at 8, so in the next hour or so we went SHOPPING! hehe... all the stores they went to were so um... pink. well execept anchor blue, and denise kept spraying me with all these chemicals until i started smelling like 50 different things at the same time. then when it was time to go i sent amanda home then sent denise home (to her incredibly HUGE house) then brought debbie and may bak 2 walnut, then i went home myself for dinner. o yea and today i got myself a really nice car calendar! last year i couldnt find any good prices so i didnt get a calendar until like july... and rite now everything at Calendar Club (middle of the mall) is 50% off =). i've been waiting for that sale FOREVER. hehe... wow i cant believe it winter break is pretty much over. at least my time at home is over... tomorrow morning i'll be leaving for UCLA again, and i'll prolly arrive at around 11AM. anybody wanna go lunch in westwood with me? (since the stoOpid dining hall duznt serve until dinner). and actually i'm all free until friday, cuz i have no classes on thursday =). and i already have a CASSEL experiment set up on friday. im getting 10 bucks for 15 minutes of work. sounds good to me =). and hopefully theres gonna be more movie nights soon, cuz im ready to continue my wonderful eBay business! hehe well its gettin late so i better finish packing then im gonna go sleep. to all u UCLA pplz, see u tomorrow! hehe.. byebye!

01/04: if i ever have enouh money, i'll build a house right next to pilgrim pines and live there forever. gOsh thats like the most beautiful place in the world. i didnt really expect much when i first went but now i think its my most favorite retreat site. and as usual, i luv retreats cuz i can forget about things that always keep me occupied in everyday life... no computer, no car, no phone... and also no time - as long as i follow the crowd and not be late, theres absolutely no need to worry about time, and no need to rush or hurry for anything (except the games). and the whole world around me was soo clean and soo fresh... and during free time all i had to do was walk around, even by myself, and it made me soo happy. and at night the stars were sooo pretty too, and if there was no lights-out time, i would seriously get a huge blanket and sleep outside. and seeing God's beauty in such a pure form made me feel so small and so weak, and my life so insignificant. during quiet time i didnt even need my bible with me (even though i used the daily devotions anyways), cuz simply looking at the world around me taught me more about God than several sermons can.
of course, the message and worship also taught me sooo much... it reminded me of something i always knew but didnt pay enough attention to - i'm not God, and no matter how hard i try to be my own God, it doesn't work. and earth isn't heaven, which means there will always be difficult times that i have to deal with. and if god allowed it to happen, he is able to lead me out of it, and develop my character through it. in the past half year or so, i responded to problems by cursing or finding ways to relief stress, or even blaming god for what happened. and even though stress relief sometimes worked, its effects never lasted. and so i became trapped in my own world, trying to be my own god but never able to do so. and now i understand what it really means to have the real God in my heart, and let him control my life. its gonna be hard, especially when i get back to ucla, but somehow i'll make sure i think of God much more frequently than i do now, and let his will determine how i make decisions. and i want to take joy in developing character and obeying god rather than making myself more and more powerful all the time. for those of u who know waht im talkin about, pleez pray that the lessons i learned at retreat will have a lifelong impact on me.
and of course, i cant forget that getting to hang out with so many friends and play so many games was sooooo fun. thanks to all those who helped plan the games, cuz i think this year's games were the best ever. generally everythign was fair and theres nothing much to debate about, and still there was soo much enthusiasm. GO PEPPER!!! haha... i luv my team! we jumped from last place to 4th (actually 3rd, for those of u who kno wut i mean). and all the times we ate together and talked and had group time... it was soooo great. gOsh i really wish i can go back like rite now... hehe... but of course now that i learned so much, its time to apply it to my normal life, and in a few days im gonna be back at ucla to face reality again. for now, my biggest concern is that i sleep well in teh next couple days. hehe... o yea and one last thing, pics will be posted online as soon as i get them... i'll be posting up my pics, ken wu's pics, and jennifer's pics... so as soon as i get all of them i'll start posting. hehe... well i guess thats all i have to say for now. theres a lot of specific details that i dun have time to write about, but most of it will probably be covered in the picture captions when i put them up. hehe so yea im gonna stop writing now... byebye!

01/01: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! hehe gosh 2004 already i cant believe it! its like 2AM rite now and i jus got bak from church not long ago and i jus wanna wish everyone a happy new year before goin 2 bed. and for those of u who didnt know, i'm leaving for winter retreat tomorrow @ noon and wont be bak until sunday (1/4, not sure wut time). and if u know me well enough u prolly figured that i have no plan on bringing my cellphone with me, since the whole point of a retreat is to get away from distractions. so yea, sorry if u end up missing me too much. hehe... o yea and anybody wanna do anything next monday and tuesday? i know most people start school already, so maybe i should visit some of u... maybe troy? hehe i dunno anyways i really should go sleep now so i can wake up early tomorrow and finish packing. and i highly doubt theres gonna be time tomorow to go online, so i'll jus go ahead and say bye rite now. byebye everyone! *waves* dun miss me too much! hehe... and happy new year again! =)