02/28: "Something revealed, especially a dramatic disclosure of something not previously known or realized. An uncovering, a bringing to light of that which had been previously wholly hidden or only obscurely seen" (dictionary.com)...

As a composition student who was accepted to the UCLA music department after two years of seeking God's will and following it, I get to participate in a recital every quarter where undergraduate composers present their own works to an audience that consists of professors, other students, and the general public. Subi, a fellow composer who is in charge of organizing the recitals, first told me about them last quarter, and asked if I wanted to participate. Because I had just transferred to the music department not too long ago, I wanted to listen to what other students wrote before attempting anything myself. So I told Subi I would not be a part of the fall quarter recital, but would instead try to write something for the following quarter's recital.

Before I realized it, a whole quarter had passed, and I was once again talking with Subi about my presence at the composers recital. I had nothing prepared, but I knew laziness was no excuse, so I told him that even though I was busy with midterms and performances, I would attempt to put something together. With that said, we dropped the topic. And I didn't think about it again until two weeks ago when Dwayne (my music TA) pointed out during class that I was to have a piece at the then-upcoming recital. I replied with "I do?", only to find that "Chang" had been printed on the flyers which were posted all over the music building. Surprised, I told him it must be another Chang, and let the subject slip by once again.

Friday night, February 17th. That's when I got the email from Subi, asking for the title and details of my composition to print on the program. At that point reality finally hit me. The entire school - professors, TAs, graduate students, and whoever else wanted to attend the recital - would be expecting something from me. It was to be my first composition as a music major, and I did not want to disappoint anyone, especially by not having a piece ready on time. I knew then that I was about to do something I never thought was possible. The recital was just over a week away, and I was going to compose a piece and be ready to perform it - a task that normally takes me months to complete.

I decided to make my composition a piano solo, simply so I could play it myself rather than find others to suffer the consequences of my procrastination with me. All I needed then was a title - something catchy and meaningful, but not too cheesy - so I could give Subi my program information, which was already a day late. The following day (Saturday), I spent most of the afternoon in my room asking God for inspiration until I feel asleep waiting for an answer. At night I went up to the top of the hill by my house to meet with Him again, and that was when I received the answer.

"Revelation". The word stood out among the many other titles I had considered, and the more I said it to myself out loud, the more content I felt. With the title there also came inspiration for the piece itself. The piece was to portray my journey to becoming a music major (10/12/2005 entry). Musically it would consist of four parts. The first would be a slow, atonal section, symbolizing my initial lack of direction prior to receiving the revelation from God. Amidst the atonality a melody would be born, and it would be the main theme of the composition. The second section would depict the journey I took after accepting the revelation, travelling through many hardships but filled with a sense of purpose. The third would be a celebration of being successfully admitted to the new major, using the melody first heard in the "A" section, but played in rhythm and with clear tonal harmony (something rarely heard in UCLA's student compositions). The final section would be a return to the "A" part with a few changes, which would represent the fact that even though I have grown in many ways from the journey's success, I must remain humble and open to more revelations from God. This journey is a story that continues to impact me every day of my life, and I knew it would be perfectly appropriate to use it in my first recital at UCLA.

I left the hilltop filled with inspiration and satisfaction. Back in my room, I read the definition of "Revelation" over and over again, and the more I read it the more I knew I was doing the right thing. After struggling with myself for a long time, I replied to Subi's email with my complete program information, leaving me no choice but finish my new composition before the deadline.

The next morning I went to church with a pencil and some staff paper. After service, I began to compose in the empty sanctuary. A simple 8-note melody - the "revelation" theme - was born. In the afternoon, I returned to school despite having a 3-day weekend. I checked out the Hedrick piano room key for the first time and continued working. After dinner I went right back to work, and by the end of the night I had completed the majority of the "A" part, along with a brief draft of a developed version of the melody for use in the celebration section.

Monday (2/20) - With a class presentation to prepare for the following day, I decided to temporarily put composing aside, spending no more than an hour on it throughout the day. Because it was a holiday, I joined my friends in relaxing and having fun. That was the last day I allowed myself to shift my focus fully away from my piece.

Tuesday (2/21): Every morning this quarter, I have over an hour of free time between breakfast and class. Because the Hedrick piano room is usually free in the morning, I was able to resume work on my composition immediately after breakfast. Then I went to my classes, during which I completed my presentation, leaving only the composition to invest my time in. After dinner, I began the first of what would soon become a nightly routine. Using my scooter to save time and a large cup of tea to keep me awake, I travelled to Schoenberg and locked myself in one of the practice rooms, so I could work without any distractions. After two and a half hours, I had drafted many ideas for both the "B" and "C" parts. On my way back to Hedrick, I stopped at a quiet place to pray, reflect, and thank God for everything he was bringing me through.

Wednesday (2/22): Just like the previous night, I went to Schoenberg after dinner, this time for three and a half hours. I left at 11PM only because it was getting late. Otherwise I would have stayed much longer, because my mind was overflowing with inspiration. The "B" part was almost entirely finished, along with most of the "C" part and ideas for how they would connect together. I left Schoenberg filled with passion, and spent a long time praising God before returning to Hedrick to sleep.

Thursday (2/23): Despite having so much work to do, it felt like the week had flown by, and already it was my final night on campus before going home the next morning. Aside from the hour spent in the Hedrick piano room in the morning, I went to Schoenberg for another three hours of work, seizing every moment to make progress on my piece. After completing the "C" part, I began work on the returning "A" part - an alteration of the original that I had intentionally saved until the end knowing it would take little time to write in comparison to the other sections. By the end of the night, the piece was almost entirely complete, minus a few ornamenting measures and transitional runs. I had finished exactly as much as I wished to, and I approached God once again feeling content with my progress, thanking Him for His inspirations and praying for continued progress in the weekend.

Friday (2/24): After the already routine hour of work in the morning, I went to class, then went home. The afternoon was spent in a desperately needed nap, which revived me from my gradually dying enthusiasm. Even though I wasn't exactly sleep-deprived from the past week, having the burden of the composition made it hard to clear my mind even in my sleep. At night I spent some time at the piano at home, and brought "Revelation" even closer to its completion. Saturday (2/25): With plenty of free time throughout the day, I spent over six hours at the piano. Most of that time was spent practicing rather than composing, since I realized that learning the technically demanding parts of my piece was a much bigger challenge than actually completing it. I had not practiced so much in years, and I surprised myself with how much I had improved in my ability to learn new music. The six hours did not feel long at all, but with the recital only a few days away, I was beginning to worry about whether or not I would be ready to perform on time.

Sunday (2/26): With many things to do throughout the day, I only spent over an hour on the piece, during which I finished writing everything except the beginning and the ending. But I had intentionally saved those parts, knowing they would be simply a slow progression of atonal pitches. The end of the piece, as I had planned since the night I came up with its title, would be a mirror image of the beginning, fitting perfectly with the theme that the end of one story is the beginning of another - a new "revelation" to lead the way for a new journey. With many atonal themes throughout the piece, I knew it would be easy to reinterpret one of them as the beginning, then flip it for the ending.

Monday (2/27): The recital (Tuesday night at 7:00PM) was just over a day away, and still I was unable to play it without making countless critical mistakes. Of course, I made good use of my free morning hour in the Hedrick practice room. Then I went to class and realized it was cancelled. Ready to seize every minute of the additional two hours of practice time I gained from the cancellation, I went to the practice rooms only to discover an unpleasant surprise - my key, which had never left my wallet since the day I got it, was not in my pocket. Without it I was unable to access any of the Schoenberg practice rooms, which I desperately needed before the recital. I traced my path halfway back to Hedrick, assuming I might have dropped the key somewhere along the way to class, but soon realized that chances of me finding the key on such a large campus were far to small to invest my time in. It had just begun to rain, making every commute across campus much more tedious. From then until the concert, I was going to have to depend fully on God to provide me with a practice room to use. I returned to Schoenberg and found an empty room with the door not fully closed, so I went inside knowing it was a gift from God. My mind was filled with an array of emotions - anger, frustration, and worry mixed with determination and gratefulness. In the next hour and a half, those emotions shaped the various sections of my piece as they slowly came to life. Back in Hedrick in the afternoon, I was surprised to discover that the piano room was free, so immediately I booked it (since I could use it even without my Schoenberg key), and practiced until it was time for dinner. After dinner I hesitated on going to Schoenberg in the storm, but knew I had no choice. Dangerously riding through heavy rain across paths that were flooded at parts, I made it to Schoenberg and dried myself off just in time to run into the very person I wished to see - my friend who I frequently lent my key to prior to losing it. I felt no shame asking her to help me find someone with a key I could borrow, and in no time I was sitting in one of my favorite practice rooms, ready to spend the night perfecting my piece before the recital, which was less than a day away. Without my own key, I didn't allow myself to leave the room, in fear of the door closing behind me and locking me out. The only thing I could do was to seize every minute I had to bring "Revelation" to life, knowing my time at the piano was limited. At 10:00PM, the piece was finally completed. There was much more for me to worry about though, namely learning and memorizing the entire piece, which I was still quite far from being able to do. After being locked in the practice room for three hours, I headed back to Hedrick, stopping at a quiet place sheltered from the storm to pray on the final night before the recital.

Recital Day - I woke up to find myself mumbling "Jesus Christ" out of desperation. But deep inside I knew that God would not fail me. The rain stopped just minutes before I went to breakfast, and by the time I had finished my hour in the piano room it was already sunny. Very thankful that I had been spared the hassle of carrying my concert attire across campus in the rain, I got dressed and left for class, not to return again until after the recital. I took advantage of every second I had, studying the music during classes and even playing it on my lap when I wasn't in front of a piano. I had about half an hour of free time before my last class, during which I found another friend who lent me his key so I could access a practice room. After class, I found another room with the door left ajar, and went inside knowing once again that God had saved the room for me. The door shut behind me, and I knew that by the time I left the room, I wouldn't touch a piano again until I was on stage. The recital was less than two hours away, and that was all the time I had left to perfect my performance.

The clock struck 7, and the concert began. Several of my friends were there, even though I was so nervous that some of them thought I didn't want them to be there. As I stood backstage waiting for my entrance cue, my heart was beating with a combination of fear and excitement, so much that all I wanted to do was calm down and get the performance over with. Then the time finally came to show how much my hard work would pay off.

As I struck the slow, atonal pitches that begin the piece, the audience silenced, eagerly awaiting the adventure that would rise from the confusion. The music slowly unfolded, and soon I almost forgot that I was playing on stage. The keys on the piano have, by then, become more familiar to me than ever before. Even though I made a couple mistakes, most people probably didn't notice, since they had not heard the piece before. When I took my final bow, the audience's applause told me I did well. Several people, even those who didn't know me, said they enjoyed the piece and the performance. Once again a member of the audience as the rest of the recital took place, I slowly began to realize that my effort - over 30 hours of composing and practicing - has been worthwhile.

When God first gave me the word "Revelation" to use for my piece, it was purely a musical reflection of a great story that brought me to where I am today. But as the days passed, I began to understand that the piece far transcends the boundaries of a single journey. The initial state of confusion is a common experience in life, preparing our hearts for a revelation that points us in the right direction. The adventure ends right where it begins - a state of confusion, desperation, and humility. But with the maturity and wisdom gained, every revelation becomes a step closer to God's own heart. In fact, the very inspiration for me to take on the challenge of writing this piece was itself a revelation. Even though the performance was not perfect, its flaws only serve to remind me not to procrastinate so much in the future. For the amount of time I had to compose and practice, I could not have done any better. And without God's constant guidance, such a task would have been simply impossible. Just like the way my piece ended, I end this adventure with the same attitude I began with. But I now possess more confidence in myself, more wisdom to strive for success, and more faith in God's unfailing love. With these things in mind, I eagerly await the coming of a new revelation...

02/27: (midnight)- wow. i don't know what to say... tomorrow's the concert. "revelation", as crazy as it may seem, is finally completed as of 10PM tonight. i could have easily finished it on friday or saturday, but i decided to wait because the incomplete parts were easy to play, and i felt it was more crucial to learn the technically challenging parts than finish writing the last couple notes. so anyways... this morning was very very interesting. went to conducting class, and saw a (very familiar) sign on the door saying class was cancelled... for like the 4th or 5th time this quarter. of course i went straight to the practice room... thats when things turned around and i realized how screwed i really was. but i'll spare the details until after the concert (cuz i'll probably write a full entry on my piece and on the concert). as of now, the three problems that i must take care of before the performance are (1) polishing the insanely fast parts that i still mess up pretty badly on... theres 4 areas i can think of right now. (2) memorizing the beginning and ending - about a minute (each) of very slow atonal notes. worst case i'll just bring one sheet of music on stage with me. but i would prefer not having to do that. (3) making sure i dont get nervous when i go on stage. that's gonna be a tough one knowing how bad i am at appearing in public. the positive response from my Ginastera performance a few weeks ago really helps boost my confidence. but i know myself well enough to say that last-minute practicing and stage fright do NOT work well together. tomorrow i have about 2 and a half hours of potential practice time scattered throughout the day - morning before class, between theory and choir, and between choir and the recital. honestly i have no idea how much time i need until i can play through the entire piece smoothly. but deep inside i know its gonna turn out fine. looking back at this past week, i find it simply amazing that just nine days ago this piece was merely a name and a skeleton, without any pitches or rhythms. based on my past experiences with composing/performing, the progress i made this week was literally impossible. either being a music major has already dramatically improved the way i create and learn, or God has been doing some crazy miracles in my life. i'd like to believe its both =). anyways... i think what i need most now is a good night's sleep, because i'm not gonna have another chance to rest until after the concert is over. by the way, for those of you who actually thought about coming, it's 7PM at Popper Theater (in Schoenberg). its free, so come if you want. i didnt really invite anyone because (1) not many people appreciate modern compositions, and (2) i'm soooooo not ready! but its ok. God has it all planned out. i'm just gonna pray, practice, and relax. he's the one that put me in this story, and he's gonna make it turn out great =).

02/26: sunday night... how about an update? =) its been a while, at least thats wut it feels like. i still find myself often minimizing all the windows on my computer screen so i can see the carrera gt wallpaper =). other than that, my life revolved almost entirely around the piano. but i'll put that aside for now...

thursday - catalyst was awesome... ruth talked about community, and we ended up playing games outside =). i wonder if anyone else besides me noticed how many people were staring at us from all those windows in young hall and the geology building cuz we were friggin loud! not that it matters though, cuz screaming isn't amplified sound =). dianne, who hadnt seen me since monday night, immediately asked if i hadnt been sleeping much. i guess i really looked THAT tired huh? =/ actually i slept quite well those few days, its just that there was so much on my mind that i couldnt fully relax. by then it was already quite routine for me to spend the entire night in SMB, then ride back to hedrick after 11PM, taking a break outside rieber to pray and thank God for his inspiration.

friday - as if nights in the practice room werent enough (trust me, they really werent =/ ), i also spent my time between breakfast and class in the hedrick piano room. went home after class and took a desperately needed nap, then went to pick up carol from school. then i went to teach piano and didnt get home til almost 11PM. why? last week when i went to visit shienessa at efc walnut, they invited me to their (very belated) valentines day potluck the following week. how can i possibly refuse? besides, its only a couple minutes away from my next student (8PM). the food was very very interesting. how often do u get to eat pink mashed potatoes served as muffins? almost all the food was dessert. not that i'm complaining... i loved it! too bad i had to leave so soon. after teaching i went back again to say hi/bye to everyone. then i went to the hilltop, as usual. no surprise, since i usually go there at least once every weekend now just for the heck of it. and i would reflect on the past week and thank God for everything that happened. this week was truly amazing... but like i said i'm gonna put aside my composition for now, so i'll shut up about it.

saturday - went to ivys house to tutor calculus... i asked her dad about headphone recommendations (cuz my left-ear broke =/ ) and he ended up giving me one of his extras, plus offering to fix mine if i bring it to him. gosh... why are peopel so nice to me. thank you soo much uncle samuel =). from then on the rest of the day was spent at the piano, minus another student and a few breaks to eat and rest.

sunday (today) - very awesome day... me n carol left right after church to get home and decorate the house for probably the biggest (indoor) party ever held at hour house. why? cuz its our mom's 50th birthday! well it will be her bday on wednesday, but close enough =). so we secretly invited her entire cellgroup and a few other friends. after church mom got 'kidnapped' to distract her from coming home until 5:30 when all the decorations were done and (almost) everyone had arrived and were ready for her to return home. she opened the door and got the surprise of a lifetime when almost 40 people all screamed surprise and happy birthday at the same time. then i went to pick up an awesome chinese dinner from diamond plaza. the rest of the night was spent eating and fellowshipping. stephliang and i went to her car to get a CD and we ended up sitting there talking for a long time. that was fun... didnt get to talk to her in sooo long. so anyways... the party turned out great. mom was very happy and carol and i are very satisfied. but of course, we couldn't have done it alone. special thanks to: howard for buying the cake and taking carol out (without mom knowing) to buy decorations. amy ah-yee for buying the incredible dinner. jing ah-yee and datong shru-shru for taking mom out to lunch and away from the house while we decorated. ken for going with me to carry the food. and everybody else for coming to the party and joining the fun.

so anyways, now i'm back at school once again and about to go to sleep. tomorrow will be my last day to prepare for the recital which is tuesday night. it should be plenty of time, especially now that the piece is about half an hour away from completion and i'm already able to play about 90% of the technically challenging parts. thanks everyone who kept me and my piece in your prayers. please continue doing so for a few more days hehe. for now im gonna go sleep!

02/22: forgot to mention this yesterday, but i actually survived my theory presentation. my topic (harmonic analysis) definitely isnt the most fun to talk about, especially for someone like me who has NO skill in public speaking. so sorry if i bored everyone to death. but yea... im glad that's over cuz then i can fully focus on my composition. today after theory class i went to another special presentation, this time by a taiwanese composer. pretty interesting to see vocal music written in chinese, and instrumental music with oriental influence. and of course, listening to all that atonality definitely helps me on my own piece too =)

so about the composition... i just got back from SMB right now, after three and a half hours of hardcore down-to-business composing action. and as insane as this sounds, by the time the clock struck 11 i really wished i could stay there in that room forever and keep on working. sure it was stressful, especially with the time contraint. but i was having so much fun at the same time. "Revelation" is finally starting to come together, and even though theres still a lot of areas missing, the whole thing is already planned out and all i need to do is finish developing the themes and create good transitions. tomorrow after breakfast i hope to get the hedrick piano key so i can start practicing some of the stuff i wrote. if all goes as planned, i should have another hour between severin's class and chorus, as well as another several hours after catalyst. at the rate i worked today, im looking at completion (at least a finished rough draft) in the next couple days. i'm very very excited right now... this is such a big challenge for me, and theres still so much to do. first i need to finish writing, then learn to play it, then get over my own fears and convince myself that it is a good piece and that others will agree with me. but i'm gonna focus on writing and playing first before worrying about everything else. for now its time to go sleep. goodnight!

02/21: its almost midnight... i just got back from Schoenberg after over two hours of intense composing, with the help of some caffiene. so far the piece isnt looking too bad... i want to combine tonality with atonality without making it sound too cheesy on either side. after tonight things are finally starting to come together, but theres still a LOT of work to do, so i think tomorrow night won't look much different.

i'm updating mainly because of yesterday - the most incredible day in my life. why? first of all, did u really expect me to be able to sit at the piano and compose for an entire day? as much as i love music, i still need a break once in a while. and besides, how many mondays do i get to spend at school without having to go to class? soo, long story short, i decided on the spot that i was going to... the Golden Triangle (Beverly Hills). surprise? not really... but trust me, i was REALLY surprised at the outcome. if im not mistaken this is my 6th time going there with the pure intention of spotting and shooting cars. and without a doubt this is the most successful trip. in fact, i'm so satisfied that i dont think i need to go carwatching for the rest of the week (maybe more?). so anyways, let me get on with the report...

cars not photographed due to lack of need - RR phantom (several), bentley continental gt (several), bentley arnage, maserati coupe, RR silver spur, RR silver shadow.

cars not photographed due to lack of agility & luck - Porsche 550 Spyder (yes!! i saw one in Wilshire!), Maserati Quattroporte IV (stupid green light...), Lotus Elise

cars photographed - (now this is where it gets fun...) in a single restaurant parking lot there was a AM DB7 Vantage and DB9, MB SL65 AMG, and Maserati Quattroporte. (and the parking lot only holds about 10 cars). other photos - AM DB7V Volante, Bentley Continental Flying Spur, Ferrari F430 Spider, Ferrari 360 Modena, Ferrari 550 Maranello, Ferrari 575 Maranello, MB S65 AMG, Jaguar E-coupe, Jaguar XK140 (yes, the 1950s classic!), Maserati Spyder, Rolls-Royce Corniche.

how's that for one afternoon? the cars i shot total over $2 million. add the ones i didn't shoot and thats another million. but wait, thats not all =). as u probably know, i always like to save the best til last. yesterday afternoon i saw something many people wait a lifetime to see...

02/19: SNU time =). friday - i went to get lollicup for lunch, and decided to swing by HWL Plaza for a quick look. and guess what i see - a brand new (dealer plates) yellow F430 parked right next to Hing Wa's $330,000 Phantom. go to the ECPG for pictures (by the way, i finally updated it!) went to teach as usual... i decided to swing by EFC Walnut again at 10PM... this time they ended a bit late, so i actually got to see shienan and vanessa =). its always great to see people i havent seen for a long time, in this case half a year (!!). with my life revolving so busily around hedrick these days sometimes i unintentionally let the rest of my world fly by. but every once in a while i have to throw in a surprise here and there =).

saturday - got to sleep in (on purpose hehe) for the first time this quarter as long as i can remember. such a great feeling... went to teach some more, got a haircut, and went to cellgroup. the name game was awesome... i continued the SOLD/AMC tradition of using philosophers and dictators hehe. spent a long long time on the hilltop afterwards... i'll explain that later.

today - church @ 9 for practice w/ steph's team. went pretty well... afterwards we all headed over to shaw's to throw a surprise party for alex. i didnt stay very long though cuz i had to get home n pack for school. my mom was busy at night so i had to get back before dinner. talked on the phone w/ kelley while packing... got boba on the way to school - i bought FOUR, and they ended up being claimed by myself, chris, victoria, and niki. im glad i got rid of them cuz it was really tempting watching them sit on my desk next to me hehe. ate dinner @ covel with chris... talked about a bunch of bzflag stuff. then came back and went straight to the hedrick piano room. again, i'll explain that later. tonight is really weird... richard's not back yet so i get the room to myself - which NEVER happens. not that im gonna do anything different than usual... victoria just left after studying here... its almost 1AM and i should go sleep soon too. but then tomorrow's a holiday so i can sleep in =). who knows, if theres nothing to do maybe i'll throw in a little vacation to beverly hills?

ok anyways, last thing before i shut up. its amazing how God stays true to my view of life as a collection of stories. i seriously thought i was all done after my history midterm. but apparently i was wrong. two things... first, on tuesday i will be 'teaching' theory class for half an hour. so apparnetly my essay got chosen as the top 6, so lefko wants me to present it to the class. im treating it as a big honor, except i really suck at public speaking (even to my own classmates) and im slow at learning music. but im pretty sure i can pull it off even if its a boring presentation. hey, not like it can mess up my grade or anything... hehe... second thing... umm, i don't even know where to begin. so basically its all my fault - for last quarter's composers recital i didnt perform cuz i wanted to listen to what kind of stuff other comp majors write, and i said i would do something for this quarter's recital. laziness is obviously a bad reason to say no, so i never said no. what i failed to realize was that they treated my 'maybe' as a yes. i realized at the end of last week that my name was on the flyers which will be posted all over the music building. and subi emailed me asking me for my program info, which was already a day late. it didnt hit me until friday night that the whole music department was expecting a piece from me at the recital, and that i had only a week and a half to do it. yes, a week and a half to write a whole piece. of course im jus gonna keep it simple - piano solo, i'll play it myself. as for the piece itself, after several hours of stressing and praying yesterday, i went to the hilltop after cellgroup and finally made my decision. the piece is called 'Revelation'. more details to come later. for now, i have a week to complete what normally takes months for me to do. im excited about the challenge, but at the same time so scared of the outcome. please pray for peace, inspiration, and courage to help me get through another adventure...

02/17: to Hedrick 2-North: this has been a very difficult week for many of us. amidst all our good times, nobody would have guessed that during this year one of us was to breathe his last and leave this world behind. even though i didn't know him well, my heart mourns with those around me who did. either way, we are all undoubtedly in at least a little shock. as Adrian's funeral takes place at this very moment, i wish we can all remember that death is something we will all have to face at some point. even though we may hate to think about it, we can't run from it forever, and only by accepting our fate as fragile mortal humans can we live our lives to the fullest. so let us live each day as if it were our last, and let us not hold back our words of love, truth, and wisdom for one another. please join me in prayer for Yoav, as well as Adrian's family and friends, and ourselves as his floormates, that we may all receive the love and encouragement needed to recover from this tragedy and to help others do the same.

02/16: its still slowly starting to hit me that midterms are over. i'm in the study lounge right now with a bunch of people still studying for midterms, except i'm just looking at car pictures and chillin =). (oh by the way, i'm adding a bunch of new pics to the ECPG soon!). so rewind to yesterday - after theory class i went to a very very cool presentation... i got to see/hear a "microtonal alto flute", one of three in the world! don't know what 'microtonal' means? instead of playing just the usual pitches (half-steps), this baby can play notes inbetween the half-steps! (quarter-tone sharp, 3/4ths sharp, etc). at first it sounds incomprehensible cuz theres so many pitches... but after a while it started sounding REALLY cool. one of these days i'm gonna write a piece in quarter tones =). (maybe beginning with the melody for dwayne due next week? hehe j/k the class hates me enough already =/ ). made it back at 5 to dinner with floormates... ran into dena and robert afterwards so i sat with them... spent a total of TWO AND A HALF HOURS in hedrick dining hall. i love college =).

today - had an additional piano lesson this morning. after tuesday's lesson ruby just randomly started to schedule an extra lesson for me... iono why. she told me its cuz theres a lot more stuff we could work on. but is it because i sucked on tuesday or is it because shes determined to help me? i wouldnt be surprised if its the former, since tuesday night i was so glad to finish my midterms that nothing else really mattered. had 45 minutes to kill before class, so i went to *drumroll* the sculpture garden! dont think i've gone there this whole year. kinda sucks, since i love that place so much. i should go back more often =). anyways, went to class as usual... treated myself to a 30-minute "target practice" at the east gate. came back for choir. during break i um... left. and didnt come back =). hehe, dun worry its just this once. i was in a big rush to get back to hedrick before 5PM. why? because its the night we've all been waiting for... THEME DINNER!! yess.... steak & fish at hedrick!! and lots of other stuff. i had three steaks. and if people stayed with me longer i would have eaten much more. we were like almost the first people in line (its great being able to see the dining hall from my room, so we could get there just before the line starts to get long =) ). i think i'm getting better at breaking the "one steak at a time" rule. last year i tried taking two plates of crab legs and got yelled at so i just grabbed it and ran. this time nobody even noticed. hehe... and of course, i ended up with the biggest food coma ever. sat in my room the entire night playing bzflag, minus a few puzzles/bruincafe breaks. and now i've migrated to the lounge so theres more people to talk to and distract =). but anyways... i guess i'm done babbling for now. time to work on the ECPG (lots of pics to add =) ) then go to sleep. byebye!

02/14: i'm back... finally, its all over. five days of adventure, stress, and victory. God definitely proved himself faithful, to say the least. sure, these have been among the busiest days of my life. but i faced them willingly knowing that at the end of each day i would look back and feel accomplished. my current feeling of success would not be possible without all the stress i first agreed to go through.

friday: went home after class, took a short break, went to teach, fought traffic back home for dinner, and went to my piano recital with only about 10 minutes to warm up beforehand. i treated this event as a very big deal, since it's been several years since i last performed at Lucy's recitals, and i was making my return as a guest performer. i wasnt surprised to find out that i was the last performer at the recital, meaning if i screwed up badly, it basically ruins the whole event. at least thats the way i was treating it. there were many people in the audience who had not heard me play for years, and i wanted this performance to be good enough to tell the story of the years i had been gone and testify to my successful transition to becoming a music major. the result was far beyond my expectations - its one of those times when you know the audience is not clapping or congratulating you simply because you appeared on stage, but because the performance was truly engaging. it was definitely the best time i ever played this piece (ginastera "danzas argentinas"), and i left the recital knowing that i have done far better than what i thought was possible.

saturday: woke up at 5:30AM to get ready, then left for las vegas. arrived at the mini-mall (concert location) before noon and had lunch first. i got pretty pissed cuz my food didnt come until everyone else was done eating already, but i couldnt really complain cuz the people hosting the concert were treating us. and knowing how disappointed i was, jimmy went downstairs and bought me a boba while choe waited with me to eat. thanks guys! then we went to set up and soundcheck for the concert. the concert actually turned out quite well. at night after we all moved into the house we were staying at, we spent about an hour sharing how we felt about the concert. i was amazed to find out that during "hold me", the song i wasnt given enough time to practice and totally screwed up on, someone was in tears and being moved by God. yes, my expectations are usually much higher than most people's, and i'm not about to let that change. but its always great to know that God is present even in my weakest moments.

sunday: we all went to sleep pretty early (10:30ish) saturday night, except choe jeffrey and jimmy who went to eat @ bellagio (without me! =/ ) and ended up locked outside the house for half an hour cuz nobody opened the door when they got back at midnight. but a good night's sleep definitely makes a difference. after breakfast we went to the church were our second concert would be... did the usual setup/soundcheck stuff and started the event, which was another success. my mom shared the story of my dad (10/20/2004 entry), during which i found it extremely hard to keep my eyes dry while listening. but as i went back on stage and watched people in the congregation cry during our closing songs, i was reminded once again that even the most tragic events in my life can be used for God's glory. we had lunch at the church after the concert, then began the drive back home. got home at like 7ish, and my mom, tired as she was from the trip, agreed to send me back to school right away knowing i had to study and write my essay. thanks mom! so i actually made it back to school at about 8:30. and i'm glad i did, since every minute of the night turned out to be crucial. i was feeling a bit sick, and it only added to my academic stress. i did what i could to protect myself by drinking as much (hot) water as possible until i decided to sleep at around 12:30 after finishing about a third of my essay (due tuesday) and studying theory (monday's midterm) for about half an hour.

monday: my original plan was to get up at 7:30 as usual, eat breakfast with anny and chris (and whoever else wanted to come), then study until 10:30 when its time to walk with tammy to schoenberg for our 11AM classes. i woke up at 5AM to go use the restroom (makes sense considering how much water i drank the previous night), then went back to sleep... and never woke up again - until 11:10AM when i found richard standing in front of me asking me what time my midterm was. fortunately it wasnt until 1PM, but still i was very late for conducting class (for the first time ever), so i brushed my teeth, threw all the papers on my desk in my backpack, grabbed my scooter, and took off for SMB. thankfully there were very few cars/people, so i made it there in 7 minutes. i didnt fully wake up (mentally) until halfway through conducting class. and since i slept through my allocated study time in the morning, i only had the 45-minute break between class to prepare for my midterm. me n kat sat in the hallway reading and studying, asking people in our class who walked by for help. of course, i could have done much better on the midterm if i studied more. but im pretty sure i did well. and generally i'm not too worried about theory anyways. the more i thought about it, the more i realized what an amazing day it had been. surely God knew i could use a full 10 hours of sleep, even if it meant missing breakfast and studying less. i didnt feel hungry at all during the midterm, and to make things better, i didnt feel sick anymore. of all the days for me to not hear my 7:30AM alarm (its the first time it happened this year), it happened to be the very day when richard woke up at 11:10 to use the restroom and realized i was still in bed even though i had a midterm. what a miracle... so i spent the afternoon studying history (tuesday's midterm) and writing my essay (also part of the midterm) until dinner followed by worship team auditions. that was really fun, a great break for me during a day of intense studying. went to kat's at night for a short study session with her and edwin... that helped me a lot considering how much notes i took during class. and thanks to my sufficient sleep and rejuvinated health, i was able to stay fully focused until about 1AM when i finished studying and writing.

today - out of each of these five consecutive days/events, this history midterm was the one i worried most about, considering how crucial it is to my grade and even my college degree. thankfully i heard my alarm this morning, so i got up and had breakfast with chris. spent the morning studying (cramming) for about an hour, then headed down to SMB, where i continued studying right before the test. bounced some information off my friends sitting around me before the test, which really helped because some of it actually showed up on the test. if u sat around me u can probably testify that i was about to cry cuz i was so worried. but once the exams were passed out, all i could care about was getting the answers onto my papers before i forget them. and from what i remember (and checked on my notes after the exam), i actually did quite well. i'm not even asking for a good grade... for a class like this all i want is to pass it. and im pretty sure that's going to happen after all. of course, i didnt feel like doing anything for the rest of the day. it wasnt until later in the day that i finally realized my five days of stress were over. by then i was so relieved to really care about anything else. and now, i'm once again sitting in my room relaxing, glad that i have worked hard and couldn't have done any better. and the best part of all - i'm officially done... until finals! yupyup, no more midterms and no more essays. well, except another history quiz (grr...) and a special opportunity that prof. lefkowitz has given me (ask me after tomorrow for more details). and a couple more theory homework assignemnts here and there, even though technically i can maintain an A in the class without doing any more work until the final. but i'm gonna do them anyways since i enjoy the class. that's the most amazing thing about these past five days - each event, difficult as it may be, was something i voluntarily chose to challenge myself with. i was the one who asked to perform at lucy's recital, and i was the one who volunteered to play for claymusic's las vegas concerts. i also accepted my own destiny as a music major, hence the classes i'm taking right now. because of my love for music, i gave each of these events not only my mind and my strength, but my heart. which, speaking of love, reminds me...

02/11: (10:00AM) its amazing how much energy i have right now considering how late i slept last night. all that studying really helped though. im hoping history discussion (which is in an hour) will help too. anyways, im not gonna be at church or cellgroup this weekend cuz i'll be in vegas. in fact, im not even gonna be online except for academic purposes. sorry if you needed help or wanted to play games and i turned you down... i only do this because thats how desperate i am for extra study time. so yea... guess i wont be writing until after all the chaos is over (tuesday night). meanwhile please pray that i survive my recital without messing up, that the las vegas trip will be safe and God will use the concerts to change peoples lives, and that i successfully finish my essay and study for my midterms without stressing too much. im gonna get to work now... bye!

02/10: studying in 216U with floormates right now.... im gonna finish writing this thing and go to sleep cuz its almost 2AM. today was another very eventful day... history was bleh as usual.. i smoked severins midterm though =). met with anny tammy richard doris and lisa after class to go eat dinner at noodle planet (to celebrate richard's bday). eugene met us there too. i LOVE spicy shrimp fried rice =). they made it super spicy this time... i was sweating like crazy. but its all worth it... went to catalyst afterwards then i went back to SMB to practice for another hour. i have to admit im starting to really love these nighttime practice sessions. when i practice between class theres always a time restriction, or at least an urge to go carwatching (hehe). but at night its a lot quieter, and theres nothing to distract me at all. i jus find a room, sit down at the piano, and let time fly by. and it really does... sooo, the recital's tomorrow and im nowehre close to perfect. but i guess its good enough to perform. hopefully it will turn out well... ran into jeewon outside the practice room... turns out she was actually listening to me. *surprised*... we talked in the hall for a lil while then i left and came back to hedrick. made it back in 10 minute (once again, i love scooters), plus a little stop to pray n reflect on the way. havent done that much this week... but i really feel like i need it. why? read on...

for those of u who didnt know yet, this is going to be one of the craziest weekends of my life. and ive been so busy that i havent even had time to write about it. starting tomorrow - go home, teach for 2 hours, go back home to eat dinner, then piano recital. early saturday morning im heading out to las vegas! claymusic concert in the afternoon, and another one sunday morning. so im guessing i wont be back at school til sunday night. and monday's the theory midterm. and tuesday's the history midterm. ohh and theres a paper due for history too. so yea... theres so much stuff in my mind that im not even worried anymore. im actualyl kinda excited. even though im gonna be insanely busy, im gonna feel really accomplished at the end of each day. hopefully i wont be overly stressed or worried about any of this stuff... especialy the midterms. if u want to study together sunday night or monday please please please invite me cuz im pretty desperate, especially for history. lets just say that i did so bad on my quiz that the teacher wrote her office hours next to my grade. ive been stressing a lot about it... but i talked to a lot of people (during catalyst and at schoenberg) about how im feeling and it really helped. im glad my indifference is slowly going away and im starting to feel motivated to work hard again. i know i can do it if i try... tomorrow i will wake up and the battles will begin. all i can do is fight with what i have and pray for the best. wish me luck...

02/09: ok technically its wednesday late night / thursday early morning. but first of all, happy birthday richard liz and jenny!! how often do u get three people living on the same floor with the same birthday? its definitely worth violating the quiet hour rules hehe. we just finished a huge ice cream party in the lounge. its like 1AM but everyone still pigged out.

soo anyways, this week was pretty um.. intense? iono how to describe it. good thing is im not depressed. but bad thing is im still really really stressed. but lets rewind a little first... monday- nobody got up for breakfast from 2N, but i ate w/ jared instead =). went carwatching in the morning but it wasnt very successful. went to class... conducting class actualyl met for the full time today hehe. spent the afternoon editing scores for the new claymusic album. dinnered with floor people =). worship meeting @ shannon's... discussed stuff for the 'exploratorium' hehe. came back to hedrick, more score editing, then sleep...

yesterday - the single longest schoolday of the quarter. class from 11AM til 5:15PM, then piano lesson from 6-7, then the graduate composers recital at 8. history was bleh as usual... got our quizzes back. *sigh* lets not talk about that right now. and there was no crossword puzzle. that sucks =/. finished dwayne's midterm early so i went to the east gate. shot my first CL65 =). it was white too! so beautiful... i practiced a lot of piano, before my lesson and afterwards (while waiting for the composers recital). sat with jeewon at the recital until she had to leave. ohh by the way thanx jeewon for the banana =). the recital was awesome... heard some really "modern" stuff... more like "futuristic" stuff hehe. not sure if i would call if music or not, but its pretty cool.. so anyways it was like 10PM when i got back to the dorms... and i decided to visit sproul! thats one of those things that never fails to satisfy me as long as im willing to take the intiative and go for it. sometimes i jus get too lazy and decide not to make an additional stop. but since i was already away from hedrick for almost 12 hours, another hour or so wouldnt hurt. so yea... went to 4S, visited sara n emily... chilled in the hallway talking for a long time. then went to the north side to see diana candace josephine and andrea. havent seen them in sooo long. i love seeing the surprised look on peoples faces when i visit. and i ran into crystal and sean on the way out of sproul. crystal chose my lunch for me - curly cheese fries! yes, lunch at 11:30PM. pretty sad huh? by the time i got back to 2N most people were already sleeping...

today - it feels like yesterday never happened, just cuz i was away from the floor the entire day. ate breakfast w/ chris, went back to sleep until class. walked with tammy, had our lil SMB hallway party w/ nat n tina, then i went to conducting class and, guess what, it was cancelled! hahaha... again!!! i almost feel guilty for missing class so often even though its not my fault. but hey at least i get an extra hour to practice piano, plus lunch @ covel with anny. thanx anny for the dimsum =). covel fried chicken was soo good that i jacked one to eat during theory class. lefko told me to see him during break and he was like 'are u scared?".. and i totally thought i was gonna get in trouble. turns out he wanted me to go to a concert next week. must be important... hopefully i'll have time. no random westwood trip today cuz everyones busy. and im glad i didnt go anywhere, cuz i just found out this afternoon that i have to play all 3 movements of ginastera on friday. (originally i only needed to do 1 and 3, and someone else was gonna play 2). so that meant desperate last-minute practicing... but not until after dinner hehe. ate with floormates @ 5... we ended with soo many people taht we had to add an extra table. i always love seeing so much unity on the floor =). chilled in annys room for a while afterwards, then got a call from emily to *drumroll* eat dinner! yupyup.. so i went to rieber and ate again. hehe... sara came n joined us too. havent eaten with them for soo long! we have so much stuff to talk about hehe. afterwards i tried to get the rieber or hedrick practice rooms but they were all taken so i had to go to SMB. thank God for scooters =). practiced for a whole hour (!!!) then came back to meet victoria & gang at bruin cafe. chilled on the floor until night when it was time for the birthday parties =). its like 1:30Am right now and the floor is starting to quiet down... and im really tired so i should go to sleep. goodnight!

02/05: really weird night... i dont get back to school til like 11PM tonight =/. so im jus chillin at home right now... yesterday's cell kickoff was awesome. buckbuck was hilarious... steal the bacon with real bacon was very creative hehe. and freakin ernest tagged me in capture the flag. dangit hehe owellz... i missed part of it to go teach and then joined them again for dinner at asia buffet. such a great place... i cant believe i never went there until now. for 12 bucks u get unlimited mongolian bbq, sushi bar, typical asian stuff (rice, meat, veggies, etc), fruit, icecream, and seafood. and its really good seafood - fried scallops, octopi, crab legs, etc. one of the best value restaurants i ever had. i was so full that i ended up sitting on the car digesting before i could drive home. but its all worth it =). today was very very tiring... church in the morning followed by rehearsal until like 6PM. *yAwN* but we all got boba! that was the highlight of the day =). so anyways, i jus got back from the hilltop... it was kinda sad and lonely at home so i went outside for a bit. lotsa stuff to think about and pray for... not sure if im looking forward to go back to school or not. *sigh* but its ok... anyways im gonna go practice piano now... byebye!

02/03: its great to be home. its been a really long and strange schoolweek - very hard history quiz and all the stress that came with it. lack of sleep, which lead to an unusual lack of enthusiasm towards classes and everything. problems with intervarsity - long story short, the worship team may never get to play together again. lost two students, once again reminding me of the instability of my future and striking me with discouragement. all this, plus the inevitable realization that the glory of this year's dorm life has reached its peak. it was no surprise though, since i knew it was bound to happen even before this quarter began (1/8/06 entry). but i must admit it really hurts. perhaps God intentionally made me take less classes this quarter so i have time to strengthen myself through prayer and scripture. i know he's making all this happen on purpose, and i just have to wait and find out why. i know that if there's no suffering, there won't be a story. and my life is, as i always say, all about stories.

as i think about this past week more and more, i realize its actually quite amazing. a part of my dissatisfaction is the result of me being spoiled by a whole quarter of happiness. i hate to admit it, but in all honesty i must say that after seeing the same people over and over again, i havent been giving them as much attention as i used to when i first met them. now i'm much more selfish, and often put my own wishes above my friends'. i guess in a way im just being more honest to myself. but i wish i know how to love the people around me just as God has loved me. through all my dissatisfaction, i began to realize how needy i really am, and as a result i became much more thankful for the things i have and the people around me. if this is what it takes to get me on the right path again, i'm more than willing to suffer as much as needed.

in fact, this past week really hasnt been that bad after all. if i can overlook my pessimistic attitude, everything suddenly makes sense again. so i'm gonna look at this week the way i looked at any other schoolweek. lets see where i left off on the last entry...

wednesday - went to westwood with anny tammy n richard after class. first stop - victoria's secret. um... yea, dont ask. ran into jessica there =). next stop - ralph's. tammy got her milk... then we went to diddy riese n got cookies and ice cream =). walked back to hedrick... dinnered @ 5. college bowl afterwards... anny richard niki and boris represented 2north... we didnt win but its ok. great job guys =).

thursday - class all day. yea... then catalyst at night. not playing for worship means i actually got to sit with the hedrick people the whole time =). worship exploratorium meeeting afterwards... lotsa people came. looks like next year's worhsip is gonna be awesome. so am i gonna stay? we'll see... walked back to hedrick with tracy. her music audition is tomorrow (good luck!). tim and eugene came over to chill with me n richard... plus our usual guests... didnt see so many people in 216 in a long time. gosh i miss the good old days...

friday - decided to treat myself to a little stress relief and go carwatching on sunset after breakfast. stayed htere for a lil while then ruby called to ask if i can go turn pages for her for a recording project. of course i agreed... nothing better to do hehe. and its not every day my teacher calls me to help her with stuff. i felt so stupid though... actualyl ahd to learn how to turn pages efficiently. but i learned a lot =). then went to class and went home afterwards.

after teaching until almost 10PM, i was driving home from walnut and took a different way to avoid a train (they take forever!). i suddenly realized i was one turn away from efc walnut, and their meeting ended at 10! so i decided to swing by. called natq and told her i was outside the door. went in and chilled for a while... met norbert (their new pastor), a ucla grad! =). too bad shienessa left early so i didnt get to talk to them. but i freakin saw them walk out! dangit i was a few seconds too late =/. maybe next time...

so yea, maybe my life isnt so bad after all. when i have everything i want, all i can do is complain and ask for more. but when i am in need, every little thing seems so precious to me. when i got to eat with floormates that i dont see as often as i used to, or when people come visit me in my room, it brought me no less joy than it did during the first few weeks of school. i want to love them as much as i always have. i guess i've now reached the point where shallow happiness has lost its power and effort is required to turn casual friendships into lasting ones. i pray for the opportunities to let people around me know that i will always love them. i pray for strength and movitation to guide me through difficult times. last but not least, i pray for wisdom to help me act maturely despite my many problems. with that said, its time to shut up and go to sleep. goodnight!

02/01: so about my dying computer... things are not looking good right now. part of the reason it took so long for me to start taking care of it is cuz i had essays and stuff that i needed the computer to do. but i guess the most honest reason is that i simply dont want to re-experience the same heartbreak that has haunted me for as long as i can remember. but i guess running away isnt gonna get me anywhere... so anyways, right now my options are getting fewer and fewer. sure, i can just eek out another 300 bucks and get everything taken care of. but somehow it just um... doesn't feel right anymore. God's trying to tell me something, but i don't understand what it is. and i really cant afford to make another mistake. for now i'm jus gonna do my part and pray while working with the little options i have.

01/31: *siGh* pretty long day today. woke up for breakfast (thats a good thing, even though half the people that were gonna go ended up not going. but thanx everyone who did show up =) ). tried to study for my music history quiz (11AM) but ended up going back to sleep for half an hour. woke up again to go photocopy my theory homework and ended up in an argument with the front desk cuz apparently they have some new policy that they're not allowed to photocopy copyrighted material. well professor lefkowitz wrote the freakin book and he told us to copy it for homework! wut da heck... so i ended up having to carry the whole book with me all day to copy at covel. rode my scooter to class to save time and to get my mind off all the crap. took the quiz... hard as expected... i dun think i failed or anything, but i jus dun wanna think about it anymore. then in theory class i got randomly called on to do dictation on the board AND to conduct, both of which i could have done much better if i actually cared at the moment. choir wasnt too bad, but by that point i was so indifferent (thanx dena & prof. lefkowitz, the whole indifference thing is getting to me too =/) that i jus kinda sat through the whole thing and sang along. things got better from there - practiced piano before my lesson... denise came in to listen for a lil while... im doing a lot better on ginastera now after having a brief lesson w/ mrs lucy (my former piano teacher) on sunday. not that ruby isnt helping me... its just that ive never switched piano teachers before so i really needed to bridge the gap. and besides, i'll be playing ginastera @ lucy's recital in a couple weeks =). that means plenty of hardcore practicing... so today's lesson went quite well too. got bruin cafe afterwrads to eat in my room. anny n tammy came over for a hot chocolate party =). ruth came by and dropped off dessert =). went to help victora with fafsa apps... then went to puzzles w/ iva. we were talking about last year's january jumpstart... remember that night when our team ran all across westwood/ucla and actually won first place? such good memories... anyways then did theory homework in my room. tall chords are awesome even though they're confusing. i guess this is about all there is to learn for tonal harmony? whats next? *curiou5* hehe...

so anyways... couple random things before i shut up...

01/28: ok, its been way too long since i updated... so even though its almost midnight and i want to sleep, i dont feel like waiting until tomorrow for another boring SNU. so here we go starting with sunday night - chris came by my room and showed me how to play BZFlag. now i'm totally hooked hehe... such a fun game. its free, go download it =). chilled with tammy lisa and dean in the study lounge til 1AM. talked about lotsa random stuff while playing with my scooter hehe.

monday - i conducted!!! etude #3. its probaly my best attempt so far... im really surprised. prof. lee said i did well =). the biggest thing i want from this class is to gain confidence and not be nervous anymore. lets hope it works =). fast forward to 5PM, and i'm eating at hedrick with judyy! so we finally found time to eat together in the dorms. its been soo long since we talked (online doesnt count hehe)... and theres soo much stuff to talk about! ohh and she loves my strawberry float =). worship practice afterwards... made plans for the 'exploratorium' for next year's team. we're all gonna contribute to helping with the traning/selecting process... so will i join next year? i'm not sure yet... still praying and debating. we'll see... fast forward to 11PM. believe it or not, our floor cross-fellowship prayer meetings are still going on! apparently its been going on this whole time and i never knew abotu it =/. but now that i know, i'll be there as often as i can hehe. (where else would i be at 11PM!?).

tuesday- even though i dont have 9AM classes this quarter, tuesdays are still pretty intense, now that my piano lesson is scheduled for 6PM instead of 8. that means dinnertime is replaced by practice room time, followed by my lesson, and no food until about 7:30. but that extra practice time definitely helps (cuz rooms are always available at that hour). after breakfast i decided to bring my keyboard out to the lounge to play around (and do analysis for theory essay). it was an awesome experience... im probably gonna do that more often in the future as part of my morning devotional time. so anyways, back to nighttime - thanks anny for walking with me to bruin cafe to get dinner (since it would be sad going by myself). went to my first gig this quarter. we learned abotu the good samaritan and decided to apply the lesson by passing cookies to everyone on the floor. im so glad i joined... now i realize how long its been since people would randomly walk around the halls greeting each other. i even met some floormates whos names i didnt know. at the end me doris diana lisa and ha talked in the hallway for a super long time even though everyone had homework to do hehe. definitely a great study break though.

wednesday - breakfast with boris and chris. pretty rare to have a guys-only breakfast hehe. boris is cool cuz this quarter he got a scooter! tammy and lisa want to buy one too. we should have floor scooter parties hehe. so we've decided to keep our tradition of going out on wednesdays after class. this time me richard anny n tammy went to lunch (dinner? it was like 3:30PM... ) @ in-n-out then got diddy riese and watched underworld revolution. too bloody for my taste but still a cool movie. and seeing a ferrari parked in front of the theater only made me happier =). we made it back in time for smallgroup. got puzzles w/ iva and lisa afterwards. then i continued working on my theory analysis. i gotta admit this stuff is actually kinda fun (yes, im a nerd. make fun of me). but still... the idea of a 10 page paper is way too intense for me... i did use a little break though. me n tammy went to summit (our first time there even though its about 20 feet away from hedrick) to check out the laundry room (cuz the stoopid 2N machine broke and they didnt get a new one yet)... then we just started to explore the place and walked around random floors. that was fun...

thursday - turned in my rhythm homework to severin. as expected, he made me play it. thank god i practiced =). even though i was very very tired, i didnt fall asleep in class at all, thanks to the bottle of coffee i prepared in the morning. catalyst was really awesome too... and special thanks to my floormates for the peruvian fried rice. it was soooo good!!! apparently it was hat day for the worship team, and i ended up with a cheessy red hat hehe. ohh and baldwin came to visit! after catalyst me baldwin jonathan michelle and alex had a late dinner @ covel. baldwin was amazed at our selection of food in the dining hall hehe. afterwards we chilled @ my room for a little bit then went to summit. met some australians playing ping pong... baldwin went and whooped them all hehe. went upstairs to jonathans room then went to michelles room. so after a whole night i finally realized that this was the same michelle from baldwin's cellgroup about six years ago! who would have thought we were all gonna meet again? hehe... anyways i got back to my room at like 11:30PM... finally started the writing part of my theory essay. stayed up til 2AM writing, but i finished much more than i thought i would. and dont worry, all the time i spent chillin was definitely worth it =)

friday - little change in the daily morning plan... breakfast was moved to deneve! well its only cuz tammy and minh bet money on showing up on time (even though tammy insists its about the friendship and not the money) hehe. i still think rieber omelets are better though... and the chefs are faster too. and richard ate breakfast too! now that's a surprise =). but yea... first breakfast @ deneve thsi schoolyear (and first dining hall breakfast in general for richard hehe). its alwyas nice to change things around once in a while. walked w/ tammy to class @ SMB... had our little 'lobby time' with nat n tina as usual =). after class i had to poop so i got out late, plus there was really bad traffic on the way home. we barely made it on time but my mom still decided to get lollicup for me. thanks mom! =) gosh she really spoils me sometimes hehe. took carol and eva out to buy balloons/cake for ben's surprise bday party (for their cellgroup)... then went to teach. i ended up running into mickie since my last students happened to be her cousins who live in the same house. she came home for chinese new year... we talked for like an hour. i dun think we ever had so much to talk about before hehe. then came home and essayed until 2AM again. *yAwN*

...and this brings us to today. worship practice w/ garlands team in the morning. im so glad to finally be able to join them again =). went to teach in the afternoon/evening and worked on essay in between. then had chinese new year's dinner (hotpot) @ steph n ben's house. got ben hooked on BZFlag too! =). sorry i couldnt make it to cellgroup.... it was already late when dinner ended, plus its so far away and i wanted to practice piano still. so now that the day is over, i'm glad i accomplished everything i wanted to. let me end with some good news. first, my essay is DONE!! all 10 pages of it. i actually had fun writing it... but not sure if i want to present it or not hehe. but either way i hope lefko likes it... second, i saw a shelby cobra on pathfinder today. so i u-turned and followed it to fullerton rd... took some pics (only butt shots hehe). it was a chinese guy driving! really weird but really cool. third and final thing - happy chinese new year everyone! shing nian kwai luh... gong shi fa tzai... hehe... ok, time for me to sleep... goodnight!

01/22: SNU - friday- breakfast w/ chris josh and rachel. as chris commented last week, its amazing how theres more white people than asians hehe. im definitely outnumbered but its ok =). and tammy came later to balance things out hehe. first time running the intense weekly routine of having my mom pick me up in front of murphy (right by SMB) after class, drive to hedrick to grab my stuff, and get home on time for her to go work. luckily traffic wasnt bad at all and we even ended up with enough time for me to get boba =). the rest of the day was intense teaching, nonstop until like 9:30PM, minus dinner break. its my fault i had to reschedule my saturday students. but of course its all worth it. why? the NAMM show was awesome!!! not that i actually understand most of the stuff tehre, but it was an amazing experience. got a zillion free magazines/catalogs/accessories. coolest thing was a pen from Monster Cable thats designed like a cable. i got to see the OASYS. simply the most insane keyboard ever made. (its 8 grand... what did u expect? hehe). maybe if i win the lottery someday... ohhh and i went to the Yamaha display just in time to catch the JOC performance. brings back so many great memories... ( i performed there once when i was a kid ). and i got to see many people i didnt see/talk to for several years. mike and miki from yamaha, katherine and m.b. who performed my pieces with me before. they were so surprised to see me there too, since the show is for members only. theres a huge sign on the front of the building that says "not open to public". and even for members (membership is like a few hundred bucks) it still costs in the 3-digits to get a show ticket. i wish i had more time so i could go every day hehe. but im definitely satisfied. once again, thanks jean for the amazing hookups =). and thanks uncle samuel for driving and accompanying me. and i actually made it home for dinner before cellgroup. another great cell meeting... there were like 30 people (!!!) =). played chess with albert afterwards... we each won once. i still think i suck hehe. went home at like midnight, chatted w/ carol for a bit, then went to sleep. sunday - college sunday school doesnt start til next week, so i actually had time to do theory homework before going to church. kelley and jackie invited me to join them for lunch =). and kelleys mom ended up treating, again. i feel so bad =/. but thanks! hehe...

so anyways, im back at school now for another awesome week. this weeks exoticspotter pics just came up a few minutes ago. apparently some einstein thought he saw a ferrari 250GTO and posted a picture. i hate to break his heart, but its a FAKE. the incorrect proportions show that its definitely a kit car and not a real gto. poor guy... hehe anyways, i guess i should shut up now. byebye!

01/19: week 2 - one of the most eventful schoolweeks at ucla. monday morningg i went with tammy victoria christine n gail to beverly hills. the metro bus is great... 3 bucks for a day pass. such a good deal. it felt so weird going to the golden triangle with people hehe. and yes there were nice cars... more details on that later. we went to a lot of the super expensive stores. tammy wanted these chanel shoes but they were 500 bucks! and we saw these jeans that were... *drumroll*... $2,500!!!!! is that insane or what!? ohh and dont forget to add another $300 for tax. hehe anyways then we metroed back to westwood. victoria christine n gail went to eat @ westwood but me n tammy couldnt cuz of our lil rule about westwood hehe. but it didnt say anything about places outside of westwood... so we went to santa monica! hey, we already bought the daypass, might as well take advantage of it =). so after 2 and a half years at ucla, i finally went to 3rd street for the first time. its soo fun! apparently im one of those weird guys that actually enjoy shopping, or rather watching people shop. first we went to the mall and ate mongolian bbq (soo good!) then shopped at the mall then shopped on 3rd street. then metroed back for dinner.

tuesday - i was so tired after breakfast that i went back to sleep =/. it really helped though. music history quiz wasnt too bad. theory was quite fun as usual. im not exactly a fan of all the conducting stuff we're doing, since some of the things that dwane and prof. lee teach contradict each other. but its ok... victoria came to choir so we walked back together afterwards. dinnered @ hedrick then went to piano lesson. apparently ruby had planned that i was gonna start a new piece this quarter and drop my ginastera (!!!). thank god i practiced a lot more than she expected over winter break and it was enough to convince her to let me keep it =). this is seriou5ly the most awesome piece i ever placed... im gonna master it someday for sure =).

wednesday - breakfast, quiettime, conducting class. anny came to SMB to have a picnic with me =). i brought my own food but she brought me food too so i ended up soo stuffed. after theory class - another adventure. it all started when tammy needed to buy milk for her cereal. original plan - after class me anny n tammy were gonna go to westwood just like we did last week, go get diddy riese, buy milk, and come back to hedrick for dinner. actual plan - after class me anny n tammy met at ackerman and headed out to Santa Monica. yes... again! the second time in three days! some motorcyclist crashed and fell by ackerman... hopefully he's alright. we waited forever for the bluebus then began our random trip. first stop - the mall. dinner? mongolian bbq - again! hehe... i love it =). just like monday - shopped at the mall, shopped at 3rd street promenade, then took the bus home. and we took the van service. yes, i finally got over my fear of shuttles. (ask if u wanna know hehe). back in hedrick - natQ came over to study opera cuz shes in the same class with tammy. and she desecrated my door =/. hehe... me n tammy went to bruin cafe and when we got there we realized we didnt want anything so we walked back. haha so random! but i love it =). tetrinet party afterwards with sue scott n stephanie. eve has once again abandoned tnet for another game =/. but yea... we played for a long time. at the end it was me n sue vs scott n steph... that was REALLY competitive. but i still suck hehe.

today - finally paid for housing after breakfast hehe. took another nap then went to class. crossword puzzle was soo hard! =/. but i owned severin's quiz =). we had the most intense dictation ever... im so weird but i think its fun. the challenge gets me excited hehe. catalyst worship was awesome... i love it when we randomly add/subtract songs cuz it always feels more free when nothing is planned. and its weird that im saying this cuz im a very structural person. but anyways... now im sitting in my room writing this thing. maybe i'll do a little theory homework afterwards. but for now im not done yet.

remember monday @ beverly hills? yes... the cars... saw a 1980s lotus esprit turbo while waiting for the bus (in westwood). first time seeing one! on the bus i saw a ferrari 246 dino. again that was a first. its so rare that exoticspotter doesnt even have one full page of pictures. and it was yellow too! too bad it went by way too fast for me to catch. i got the lotus though... gonna update the ecpg when i have time. but anyways heres a couple pics from beverly hills:

01/16: most of you ucc (gcc?) people already know the news, but in case u didnt, please pray for our friend and brother eric shum... he fell while hiking today and got sent to the hospital. i dont have all the details and dont want to assume anything thats not true, but from what i hear he may be in a coma for the next week. whether you know him or not, please join me in praying for his recovery.

01/15: its sunday night... how about an update? =) this has been a tiring but awesome weekend. friday: did some teaching then went to worship practice for stephs team. then went to help cristina fix her laptop. picked her up at golden city and went to her friend chris's house n chilled there while working on the computer. when i took her home we sat on the car and talked for like 2 hours. its amazing how we have so much to talk about... music, life, wutever... could have gone on longer if it wasnt already past 2AM hehe. saturday: more teaching, then haircut at night. ran into bruce there! havent seen him in forever! hehe... then cellgroup at night. one of my favorite college cell meetings ever - great games, great word, and great fellowship. sunday: worship was awesome... "there's no one like our God" intervarsity style... i love it! hehe... lunched @ noodle hut afterwards. their fried rice is really good =). then went to the life plaza store with carol.. her first time there! now she's officially azn. actually not yet cuz she hasnt been to Cue yet. but im sure she will sooner or later... so anyways i just got back to school and unpacked everything. my wall is once again under renovation, hopefully to be complete in a week. tomorrow im going to beverly hills and santa monica (for the first time!) its gonna be sooo fun! *cant wait* hehe... but for now im gonna go work on my wall some more so i'll shut up!

01/13: week1, part two =). i went to westwood yesterday - AGAIN. haha... its only the 4th day of the quarter and ive already been to westwood 3 times. but lemme rewind a little - after conducting me kat dannibelle and yinchi went to ackerman to have a theory party. i kinda felt like i was gonna get sick soon so i downed like 5 cups of water. then we realized we were late to class so i didnt have time to go to the bathroom. and our break was super late. i could barely walk straight when lefko let us out to break... but thankfully i ended up not getting sick. so anyways after theory me anny n tammy met @ ackerman just like we did on monday and went to westwood. oh and thanx jenny for that hot chocolate... im sure that helped too cuz i really wanted something warm to drink. so anyways we went to um... victoria's secret. dun ask.. not my choice. hehe... i really didnt mind cuz whenever i was bored i just went outsdie to check out cars. went to best buy and the university store... then we were on our way back and were captured by the smell of in-n-out burger. so we had dinner there =). then more random shopping in westwood, then back to hedrick. chilled & studied for the rest of the night... so me anny and tammy came up with a brilliant idea - a few times every week before going to bed we're gonna go around the floor and visit random people whos doors are open/bolted just for the heck of it. that was soo fun! we need to do it more often hehe. i ended up chillin with the 210 gang until like 2AM.

yesterday - more floor breakfast hehe. me n chris went first and anny tammy n victoria came at 830. gosh wuts up with people pushing breakfast later and later hehe. history @ 11... sally got this crazy crossword puzzle daily calendar thing. hopefully she wont ditch the rest of us with our daily bruin puzzles hehe. first day of choir - we're doing a mozart mass this quarter. seemed boring at first but its actually pretty cool. went to catalyst afterwards... thanks sooooo much to my floormates for bringing me food. (no comment on the bag...). 1 pb&j sandwich, 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, 1 cookie, 1 water, 2 packs of gushers, 2 chocolate bars, 2 granola bars, 1 lollipop. did i leave anything out? gosh i love you guys soo much =). chilled on the floor for the rest of the night... the "music lesson" at 210 was soo fun =).

today - just got back from breafkast... actually just got back from the lobby cuz tammy locked herself out hehe. soooo week1 is pretty much over. all thats left is history discussion, then i'm goin home. this week has been amazing... i'm so glad to see everybody's enthusiasm, whether its going to westwood or getting up for breakfast. and im so glad i wrote everything down here cuz so many things happened this week im never gonna remember them all.

by the way, i'm gonna be back at school sunday night even though theres no class on monday. a bunch of us H2N people will spend a whole day chillin in santa monica and beverly hills, so feel free to join us =). i cant wait hehe... ok meanwhile i need to pack and get ready for class and for home. so um... yea i'll shut up now. bye!

01/11: (wednesday morning, week 1)- winter quarter has been amazing so far, mostly thanks to my floormates who are just as enthusiastic as i am about starting school again. ok maybe im the only one that actually enjoys going to class, but still... its soo great to be back here. summary of the weeek so far - sunday: came back to school at like 1:45ish (right after church)... played jenga and uno attack with anny n tammy before i even unpacked hehe. apparently i suck at jenga =/. uno attack is the craziest game in the world... whoever invented that card launcher is a genius. anyways then i went to westwood with anny tammy n richard... checked out the textbook store, dropped by the course reader place but it was closed... went to rite-aid. ran into kat and sara there. i love how everyone is so much more outgoing before classes start hehe. anyways then we spent a long time deciding where to dinner and ended up going to olive garden. apparently they have unlimited soup and salad refills. i never knew that... but its soo awesome! im in love with the potato sausage soup thingy. and we were waiting for lisa n bridget to come join us so we kept getting refills. i was soo full fromm soup before getting my food hehe. then we walked back to hedrick. i went with jenny to the apts with her church gang. watched the wedding singer... pretty good movie =). uno attack party in my room at night. it was soo intense. gosh i love that game...

monday: breakfast w/ chris and nat... im so glad theres still people to eat breakfast with this quarter =). took a walk and went to class. as i expected, professor lee let us out of conducting in like 15 minutes hehe. so i was still able to go back to the dorms for lunch with anny & her coworker. probably my only lunch this quarter until finals week =/. then went back to SMB for theory. great to be back, even though i still wish i did better on my final last quarter (i'm not satisfied with an A...). joined anny n tammy after class to go get course readers. the line was over an hour long =/. but it was fun... at least i didnt have to go by myself =). ran into judyy there =). havent seen her since 4w last year! hehe... went to aahs for a lil bit then hiked back to hedrick for dinner. then i went to worship practice... looks like we finally came up with a name for our group hehe. not gonna say anything about it yet tho. and we invented the one-bass-band... apparently it only takes one bass guitar to play drums, bass, AND scratchers. hehe... it was so fun =). went to bruincafe/puzzles with tammy victoria n gail. me n tammy went to puzzles and victoria n gail went to bc... and we went to find them just when they came out to find us so we totally missed each other hehe. then chilled on the floor for the rest of the night =)

tuesday (yesterday): breakfast w/ michelle... we accidentally ditched jenny cuz we werent sure if she was coming or not. sorry! =/. ohhh and i got lost finding my history class =/. cuz i totally assumed it was the same room as last quarter so i went in but it was all full so i had to get my own desk and put it in the back... then i got the syllabus n stuff and sat there reading it for like 10 minutes until i finally realized i was sitting in 126B and not 26B. so i wandered the halls until i finally found the right room. wow... what an idiot =/. haha so im looking forward to another fun quarter in music history, thanks to my crossword puzzle buddies =). theory was fun too... i think the whole barbershop harmony thing is totally getting to us so we keep singing random dom 7ths. that was hilarious... anyways chorus doesnt meet til thursday, so i went to the practicerooms fo ra while then took a walk on sunset. tammy and i were both hungry even though our floor had a dinner thingy at 6:30... and richard checked the menu and found out theres fried chicken in hedrick so tammy decided to swipe in hehe. so random but it was soo good! then we came back and had real dinner in the lounge. that was fun too. not everyday i get to see pretty much the whole floor together anymore. went to puzzles with tammy afterwards... i discovered that i'm officially broke and almost homeless. i already owe anny and tammy money for the floor t-shirt... i owe SMB 50 bucks for practice card renewal... i owe the school 3 grand for housing (it was due yesterday but i got an extention cuz my financial aid didnt come yet), and apparently my bruincard still has a buck on it. hehe... tammy spent her buck on wasabi funions and she hated them so i ate the whole bag. chilled with jenny victoria n sumin before i went to sleep. at last me n sumin got to have our first fruityloops party =). it was soo fruity but soo awesome! didnt think i would ever find someone that loves this loop stuff as much as i do. and she has the most insane version too... i love it! we had waaay too much fun playing around with it =). great way to end the day hehe...

today - breakfast w/ chris anny tayeba and jenny... they all went to class so now im here sitting in my room updating this thing. about my schedule this quarter... so far i start at 11AM every day. kinda late for my preference... i really want a 9AM (or at least 10AM) class at least two days a week to feel more productive. 15 units just doesnt seem enough anymore hehe. but ive tried really hard and couldnt find any classes i need that fits that time slot. maybe i'll need to talk with the counselors and see what i can do. then again, theres always another option - quiet time & bible study every morning! ive been doing that so far and it works really well. great way to kick off the day. probably wont be doing it as often if i didnt have my mornings free. so i praying really hard right now to see whether or not i should add a class. we'll see... anyways, i should get ready for class. 50/50 chance i'll need to conduct today. im soo not ready. must prepare.. byebye!

01/08: ...moving in to Hedrick, meeting my new floormates, exchanging phone numbers and screen names, reunion with last year's friends, adding classes, carwatching on Sunset, decorating my wall, Catalyst every week, "floor breakfasts", Hedrick small group, making tea for floormates, Noodle Planet, God Investigation Groups, food & study parties in my room, Catalina Island, midterms, Gushi, floor dinners, concerts at Schoenberg, Westwood outings, spontaneous worship night, practice room jam sessions, cross-fellowship prayer meeting, Secret Santa, IV Christmas party, Beverly Hills, Mario Party, Holiday Concert, Harvest LA, smoothie runs, finals, watching people pack, saying goodbyes, closing my door and checking out...

The past quarter has left me countless memories. Yet time has flown by. I must admit I was never so reluctant to go home every weekend. In fact, I was never so reluctant to even go to sleep every night, because there was always something happening around me that I didn't want to miss. In the past two years people have known me as one with strict self-discipline, especially when it comes to bedtime. Little did I know that I was to encounter something so powerful that I would place it above my own interest. That feeling was Passion, and it is the one thing that best sums up the quarter.

Even though I have always asked God to show me why He gave me the priveledge of being at UCLA, so many times I ended up suffer the consequences of my own foolish decisions. So this schoolyear I took a different approach, beginning preparation by choosing a roommate from Intervarsity, knowing how important it would be to live with someone who shares my faith and morals. When I found out Richard was going to live in Hedrick, I knew right away that God was putting me to the test, since I was always the one telling my friends to not be lazy. And after spending a quarter there, I have no doubt that I made the right decision.

Aside from sharing the same faith, Richard and I both wanted to connect with our floormates. Being the first room in the hallway ensured frequent visitors, and leaving our door open all the time paved the way for many new friendships. Most residents in Hedrick are freshmen, and I have always loved freshmen for their willingness to explore what college has to offer, a heart that often gets overshadowed by laziness and stress over time. Even after being at UCLA for two years, every walk across campus still brings new surprises, and only by interacting with those who also appreciate those surprises can I live out that passion to its full potential.

A few weeks into the quarter, Richard and I were questioned by our floormates about why we chose to live in Hedrick. Richard explained our affiliation with Intervarsity, and ended by telling them we were there to serve. That's when I truly realized the importance of my role on the floor. Throughout the quarter, I watched my floormates adjust to college life and form friendships with one another, and I wanted to be a part of their dorming experience. As a third year, I had the privledge of helping them with homework, enrolling in classes, and finding their way around campus. At the same time, I became a friend to them as they are to me. We not only had fun, but also helped each other build up our strenghs and overcome our weaknesses. I'll admit that college life is full of temptations, especially when nobody else is around. But in this past quarter my environment has helped me defeat almost all of the temptations I have struggled with in the past. Our open door ushered in not only friends, but the presence of God. Being on the IV community floor helped me to finally achieve my goal of committing to a small group, and the large number of unashamed Christians around me was a constant encouragement to live out my faith.

I can find no better way to share my faith at school than through the story of how I became a music major. This is my first full schoolyear in the music department, and my passion has not changed since the day I decided to transfer. My last-minute decision to take 20 units last quarter surprised even myself, and despite having up to eight hours of nonstop classes a day and almost never eating lunch the entire quarter, I managed to find joy in the things I was learning. Yes, I was stressed when I had to study for midterms and finals. But I treated each exam as a battle I was eager to win, and after all the preparation beforehand, I would pray and remind myself of the miracles that brought me where I was, then endulge in the exam as if I were watching a movie, eagerly anticipating a happy ending to the battle. The biggest surprise came during winter break, when I discovered that I have received straight A's. It is my first perfect report card since middle school, and I know that God is using my success to encourage me and fuel my passion to strive for even higher goals.

After completing an incredible journey of discovering God's plans for my major and enjoying my most memorable quarter in the dorms so far, what's next? Being a music major certainly does not guarantee a smooth future, and there are still countless battles for me to fight in order to fully take advantage of the path God has paved for me. Friendships are too often just a temporary high, and there will come times when it requires effort and sacrifice to turn them into lasting relationships. As much as I hate to admit it, the bliss that I currently live in won't last forever. I always see my own life as a collection of stories, and in order for these stories to be interesting I can't just sit back and let time sail by smoothly. If I didn't fail chemistry my freshman year, I wouldn't have realized the prompting for me to switch majors. If I didn't suffer from the shallowness of typical college social life, I wouldn't have found my way to Hedrick. Because I believe God has a purpose for putting me in Hedrick and in the music school, I know it would be wrong for me to accept friendships at a shallow level without putting them above myself, or for me to let my arrogance and accomplishments as a musician prevent me from making more progress. As another new quarter begins, I must prepare to face new challenges and surprises with the openness I began my college career with, along with the wisdom I have gained from my experiences so far. My passion is just a shadow of God's overwhelming glory in my life, and I pray that He will write my stories according to His plan, guiding me with love and fueling my passion for another successful quarter.

01/07: 2006 los angeles auto show... if u have time, make sure u go =). i would have paid the admission to see just the bugatti veyron alone. there were only a couple disappointments... first, the audi shooting brake concept is NOT at the show even though it's supposed to be. second, there is no aston martin display (only a db9 volante in the aftermarket hall). if u want pictures ask me to send them. i filled my entire camera (512mb), and about a dozen of the pics aren't even from inside the show. in the parking lot alone there was a brooklands, gallardo SE (only 250 made!), prowler, flying spur, ferrari 400i, and delorean. thats pretty much a show of its own. i wouldnt mind taking the bus down there again just to probe the entire parking lot. im afraid to admit this, but it beats out every parking structure ive been to in beverly hills. ohh and of courrse thanks ken and david for joining me =). hope u guys had fun too. i know i did... hehe... well anyways i just got back from cellgroup and i must pack cuz im going back to school tomorrow afternoon. yup, i'll go to school straight after church. so if anyone wants to hang out let me know =). and if anyone wants to help me move in (1:30-2:00ish) let me know too cuz i dont know how hard it will be to get a cart. so yea... time to shut up and get working. byebye!

01/05: the anaheim white house. wow... one of the most amazing dinners in my life. i felt rich (and older hehe) just sitting there. and of course, its not everyday i get to see a dinner bill in the 4-digits. we probably drove the waiters/waitresses crazy cuz we wouldnt stop taking pictures and we kept moving seats. but its all good... hope everyone had a great time, cuz i know i did =). ohh and of course, happy 21st birthday jessica! it just passed midnight as i'm writing this but i guess it still counts right? not like she'll be reading this now cuz they're all still partying at LA. i would have joined but they're all staying overnight and i needed to get back tonight...

why rush to get back tonight? cuz i'm teaching again starting tomorrow. not exactly the best idea to show up drunk at the first lesson of the year. ohh and i just got a new student too. thank God, cuz i can really use that extra income. usually this is the most financially hectic time of the year - no work, insane spending, you get the picture. its really such a blessing that by working only two days a week i managed to earn enough to cover all my expenses this past quarter (gas, food, music accessories, tuxedo, retreats, gifts, etc). lets hope it stays this way...

adelphia workers are coming over tomorrow afternoon... rewind to this morning - i woke up intending to run the dell diagnostic check to confirm the problem with my laptop before calling the factory. dug up the big box with all my laptop accessories in it, took out the stack of cds, and *pOoF* the cd i need is the only one not there! i can swear i put it back... now i'm really screwed. then in the afternoon i was about to get ready to go to jessicas house and suddenly the internet dies - for the 3rd or 4th time this week. so i was really really pissed off and called customer service right away... turns out something is wrong with the signal and they're gonna send someone over to look at it. fine with me =). at least its gonna prevent future problems from happening...

so yea, sorry for those of u who were gonna download retreat pictures from me today. i said i would stay online from afternoon til night to let people download but i couldnt get online before leaving for the party. so i guess thats gonna wait til tomrorow. by the way, if u havent noticed already, winter retreat pics (as well as updated college pics) are already online. pics from tonight will be up soon too. trust me, i'm treating posting pictures as a race these days, cuz until i get them online theres a big chance they'll get wiped out by the hard drive. so far it looks like im gonna have to skip the diagnostic test and just give dell a call. i really dont care how long its gonan take them to ship the part, as long as its under warranty. thats wut im most scared of. cuz im NOT about to spend another 300 bucks on a hard drive i just bought (for the same price) less than a year ago. if thats the case, i might have to make wut happened last spring quarter my permanant lifestyle. thats a good and bad thing i guess. might as well just wait and see what God tells me to do next =). for now, i think he's telling me to go sleep cuz i'm really tired. goodnight!

01/03: so as most of u already know by now, the "guest worship team" at ccf today happened to be me and carol =). its actually our first time doing worship together by ourselves and i loved it =). hopefully everyone else at ccf did too. ohh and thanx emily for helping us get in and thanx ben for helping with the "soundboard" (his mom's amp hehe). and of course thanx to everyone @ ccf for participating in worship and making us feel loved (even though we already know like half the people there hehe).

ken n kelley came over in the afternoon and we went to chill @ palos verdes again =). met up with devin first and he showed us around the area. i guess this is my first (unofficial) carwatching trip in 2006 hehe. it was pretty interesting actually. and we dinnered @ lamppost pizza. yummy stuff =). then we came back to my house n i took kelley home... first time at her new house hehe. chilled for a little bit and now im back home again after returning the amp, mic, and stand to my aunt. thanx for letting me borrow all that stuff... todays whole worship thing wouldnt be possible without your help.

now about my computer... its pretty much good news so far - last night i already posted about half the pictures i wanted to post online. all thats left now are new college pictures, winter retreat pictures, and a few sets of Cue pics that i need to scan after school starts. i'm gonna try n have it all done by tomorrow.

something really amazing happened yesterday - i finally decided it was time to sign up for next quarter's classes so i was looking at my degree progress report, and i noticed six A's next to each other. wasnt sure wut it was so i took another look. it was my grades from last quarter. yes!!! can u believe it? even though i enjoyed my classes so much last quarter, i knew for sure i would have at least two B's (linguistics and history). but apparnetly i was wrong. and i'm definitely not complaining =). ok fine, there were a couple A-'s, but also an A+ (which class? go figure... hehe). this totally ties into one of many parts of my winter retreat testimony that i forgot to share (=/), but i'll put that in my quarter-transition entry that i'm working on right now. gosh, so much stuff to do! i think i should stop writing this thing and get to work huh? byebye!

01/02: quick update on the week so far - after retreat me ken kelley n karen went to mcdonalds! yupyup, MEAT! haha... banana bay on sunday after church was awesome too... lotsa people went. jackie came to church again! =). at night jacob choe and wendy came over for hotpot dinner n we chilled n talked til like 10ish. today was supposed to be PV trip #2 with ken n kelley but we called it off last night because of the storm. sucks for the people marching in the rose parade... they're gonna get sick and their instruments are all screwed. theres so many streets closed down its not even funny. i only knew cuz i just went out with steph rebecca and steph's friends. we went to this new cake place... the tiramisu was so good =). then we went to... Cue. hahaha what a surprise. me n rebecca were just talking about how we never took cue pics together, and a few minutes later everyone decided to go =). and now i'm home again sitting in front of my computer. yes, the computer still works. ive put countless hours into it after retreat and finally finished backing up all my files about 10 minutes ago. before i start planning how the surgery's gonna work i wish to catch up on some picture posting first since i have plenty of free time at home to get work done. ok, one last thing before i shut up. if u go to diamond bar high school make sure u go to CCF tomorrow for a great time of worship. i'll spare you the details, so come and find out for yourself! *wink* hehe...

01/01: wow... its 2006. totally caught me off guard... i just got back from the mountains on friday and the next day i woke up and it was time to practice worship for the new year's event, then suddenly it was time for the countdown. so um... new year's resolutions? hmm... i guess that would be a good idea, but it's already 2006 and i havent had any time to think about it. its ok though, cuz usually i prefer to do "new quarter resolutions", since 10-week goals are much more realistic than year-long ones that most people end up forgetting. i do have some in mind but i'll wait a bit later to organize those thoughts. for now, Happy New Year everyone! =)