06/29: life after summercon has been tough so far; even though i know God's taking care of everything for me, theres still so much to worry about, namely planning for teaching and cleaning my room. for those who don't know, i'm teaching an 8-session composition class this summer... its my first time teaching a small group (6 kids) and i was really relaly really nervous. but it turned out alright... today was the second class and it was even better cuz im not as scared. im also teaching piano still, along with tutoring math. preparation for the china trip is also crazy, with three events (none of which i knew about prior to summercon) added between now and the trip, plus practices for each one, along with more practices and meetings for the trip itself. today's schedule was about as crappy as it can get - three students, with an hour break between the first two and an hour and a half between the second two (which are 2 minutes away from each other). but at least i got to find a random park and sit down and read the bible - something i havent done since summercon even though i really wanted to. and the free time also allowed me to make a couple detours to shoot a prowler and a 993 gt2. at least thats wut i think it is... hopefully its not fake. thats about as much fun as i've been having these days. and wut about hanging out with people? sure... why not... as long as you do all the planning and let me know early before things come up already (namely work and practice, etc). i really havent had time to think about anything at home other than cleaning my room. in fact, i didnt finish returning all the phone calls and emails from last week until yesterday. and theres still plenty more from the past few days that i must take care of. as for this whole cleaning my room thing... for those who dont know, its a tradition for me to completely clean (and sometimes reorganize) my room every year as a transition from the schoolyear to summer. and my goal is always to finish it by midnight today... its never been a problem until this year. either i havent worked as hard as i should or theres simply too much crap for me to worry about. right now i'm a few days' work behind, but at least i have everything organized and looking good on the outside. i was literally going insane today because of all the work, but after finally putting the vaccuum cleaner down a few minutes before midnight, i feel pretty good about what i've done. my room hasnt looked this good all year and it feels completely different just sitting here in front of my computer and seeing clean carpet next to me without crap all over it. im gonna give myself a break and continue the job later on. for now, i think im gonna go sleep. goodnight world. see you tomorrow =)

06/26: Prayer Seminar. an experience too amazing for words to describe. the theme of intimacy with God means so much to me that i find it a shame this seminar is only offered to upperclassmen. prayer is something every Christian knows about and most Christians do on a regular basis, but how often do we stop and listen to God's responses? how often do we feel God actually loving us? how often do we pray and truly mean every word we say?

Monday: Intimacy with God through becoming the Beloved. arrived at Tahquiz Pines for lunch after a slight delay due to unclear directions. moved in to the lodge with joseph and grant. walked around the campsite a little, and spent free time sitting on a rock talking to people. the first meeting of prayer seminar - reflected on the past schoolyear, symbolizing the things God did in our lives by pulling weeds out of a cup and planting mustard seeds. talked and prayed with tim (my prayer partner). dinner and worship. studied Matthew 3 and "Life of the Beloved". each one of us is God's beloved, but today's society tells us that we must work hard to earn respect and love. God loves us no matter what we do, and we need to turn away from negative voices and surround ourselves with scripture and encouraging people to accept that God loves us the way we are. ended the night with a prayer of examen and the Lord's Prayer.

Tuesday: Intimacy with God through Solitude. neither joseph, grant, nor myself had an alarm clock, so we all woke up late and missed breakfast. the morning meeting began with liturgy, intercession (for the other studies, ucla, los angeles, and the world), and worship. raising our hands during prayer like moses did was exhausting, but my group (debbie angelica tim and i) supported one another as we enaged in conversation with God. jenny asked me to play the piano for worship while she leads. i rarely (if ever) had a good experience with campsite pianos, and this was no exception; even as i prayed silently before striking the first note, i realized the damper didn't work at all. it was extremely difficult to make good music, but fortunately not many people noticed the handicap. after studying Matthew 3:13-4:11, we entered a time of silence from lunch until after dinner. read "The Life You've Always Wanted", which made me realize that as much as i always see myself as very 'chill', i do struggle with 'hurry sickness' like most americans. it was encouraging to realize that the author, just like myself, struggled with focusing on God in silence without letting his mind wander off. spent free time walking around camp, followed by a nap on the bench under the sun. said my first word since lunch when worship started - "hallelujah". met back with prayer seminar and shared with tim about what we learned from silence. normally i would be afraid when i'm assigned to people to share my life with, since i'm very bad at initiating conversations. but after last night's lesson that we are God's beloved, there was no fear or shame left, and the 45-minute time of sharing and praying flew by. group discussion on 'hurry sickness'. prayer of examen. the Lord's Prayer. afterwards i attempted to fix the piano with only a little luck, leaving it partially working, with no guarantee it will stay in good condition. joined the rest of prayer seminar to make plans for 'american idyllwild.' ran into angelica on my way back to my room and we ended up talking and sharing about each other's lives until 2AM. i was very tempted to say i needed to go sleep, but like we learned from the article, what's the hurry? seeing angelica's heart for international missions really touched my heart, and showed me a glimpse of God's love for his people.

Wednesday: Intimacy with God through Senses. i woke up naturally and realized the sun was already up. without knowing what time it was, i left the room wishing to be on time for breakfast. turned out it was only 7AM (an hour before breakfast). after making some tea, i played piano in the senior seminar room, surrounded by a view of the trees around me. not a voice was heard until it was time to eat. liturgy, intercession, and worship. the damper only lasted halfway through the first song before giving a loud boom and collapsing once again. studied Matthew 3:13-4:11 again. applied the scripture to human senses, followed by a 'nature walk' until lunch. afternoon team games - volleyball with balloons and towels, which erupted into a campwide waterfight. napped on the bench again before study. read "By Way of the Heart", about various ways to pray, some verbal and others silent. learned about the true freedom of prayer, not constrained by falling on one's knees or even reciting scripture. dinner & worship. the piano in the auditorium actualyl worked quite well. talked & prayed 'listening prayer' with tim. even though i used to get extremely anxious when it comes to hearing God's voice, this time it was much easier, and even though i can't be sure if what i heard was from God, it was definitely a word of encouragement that gives God glory. and the things tim told me definitely give me insight on how i need to change my lifestyle and attitude about God. discussion on the article. prayer of examen. the Lord's Prayer. made another attempt to fix the piano in the cabin, which i felt much more confident about than the previous night's attempt. practiced for 'american idyllwild' and went to sleep early.

Thursday: Intimacy with God through Scripture. woke up just in time for breakfast. liturgy, intercession, and worship. at last, the damper worked perfectly through both songs, making it much easier to play freely. leading worship with jenny was an awesome experience - she not only has a great voice, but makes it easy for me and the group to follow even though we never practiced together and the group didn't have the lyrics. studied Matthew 3:13-4:11 one last time, this time inductively like the Mark studies, but with more application (which i have always been in favor of and felt a lack of in previous years' studies). lunch. basketball between classes. nap on the couch in the auditorium. read and studied Psalm 23 individually. dinner. worship. shared and prayed with tim one last time before he left for Korea. studied Psalm 23 as a group, and we split into four groups and took turns leading the rest of us in prayer using the psalm. jenny asked me to play background music for my group even though i told her i thought silence would be more effective. i did as she said, and the outcome was amazing, and wouldn't have been possible without the working pedal. we were the last of the four groups, and in the end the psalm and the background music broke into an unplanned time of singing 'better is one day', followed by spontaneous worship using whatever words and melodies we wanted. those are the times when God touches me through music the most, because it no longer resembles a rehearsed worship set, but is rather led entirely by the spirit. practiced for 'american idyllwild' one last time, then went to perform. chilled in the auditorium for a while, then went outside to watch stars with dianne and everyone else that came by and joined us. saw several shooting stars, which never fail to remind me of God's beauty.

Friday: Intimacy with God through Suffering. woke up early again. i figured if God wakes me up, i might as well get up and enjoy the fresh morning air before breakfast. me and natalie were literally the first two people at breakfast. liturgy, intercession, and worship again - even though its the same words and topics every morning, we really prayed each word as if it were the first time we spoke them. studied Matthew 26:36-45. 'picnic' outside for lunch with most of prayer seminar. walked around and napped through most of free time. 'race matters' discussion. read "Let Justice Roll Down". as much as i hate to admit it, i originally treated the article with the attitude of 'just another book on social justice'. the difference, though, is that this one was written from God's point of view, connecting Jesus' suffering with the author's own experiences, and pointing out the irony that both the persecutors and those being persecuted worship the same God. dinner. worship. as the whole camp prayed and blessed those going on various intervarsity summer mission trips, jenny specifically went up and asked those who were going on mission trips outside of intervarsity to also stand up, knowing i was going to china with claymusic. what a blessing it is to have people around me who know my needs without me having to ask! discussed the article, learned about inner healing prayer. i merged with eugene and will as a prayer 'trio', and we didnt have nearly enough time to share and pray for everyone. it amazed me how even though none of us seem to be extremely talkative, not once did we finish talking and praying before running out of time. having shared each other's needs, felt love and compassion for one another, and prayed for each other, prayer seminar extended its love to the rest of camp by opening a 'prayer hospital' for anyone who needs prayer. i was paired with hannah, and even though we (along with most other people) were extremely scared, God really softened our hearts and used us to help others recognize their sins, confess them before God, and receive healing. the two hours flew by, and by loving others we experienced God's love just as much as they did.

Saturday: Intimacy with God through Sabbath. due to the previous night's intense prayer and healing, tracey and jenny pushed our morning meeting to 10AM, with breakfast included. started with liturgy and worship, followed by studying Genesis 2:1-3 and quiet time to read, reflect, and pray. lunch. free time. read "Sabbath Keeping" - very interesting concept. its one of those things we Christians assume we know very well - go to church every Sunday, worship with other believers, no school or work, etc. but what does it really mean to rest? do we really treat the sabbath as a day of no worries and 'mandatory' activities? definitely something i need to think about - the whole idea of working dilligently and resting dilligently for God's glory. walked around, took a nap, 'sabbath' meeting (played games), dinner, discussed what we learned through artwork. closing worship night & final words from leaders who are leaving. stuck around and talked to people, then went to sleep.

Sunday: Intimacy with God through Vision. me and natalie were not only the first two people at breakfast, but the ONLY two people at breakfast until like 10 minutes past 8AM. we couldnt even find the lightswitch. final liturgy, intercession, and worship. talked about what we learned and met in prayer groups one last time to share how we plan on applying what we learned in the past week. then people started packing, saying goodbye, grabbing a quick lunch, leaving...

what a great idea to end the camp with visioning. it seems like prayer seminar can go on and on and i'll never get sick of it. in fact, i've become so accustomed to life in the mountains that i have forgotten to keep track of time, or even day of the week. sure, there are many things i'm disappointed with about the campsite, namely the cars parked all around the campsite, the more-than-nothing cellphone reception, not to mention people going to town during free time. but why be quick to criticize when i'm just as imperfect and just as loved by God as everyone else at camp? i laid down the things i needed to connect with the rest of the world for - namely confirming my teaching schedule and postponing an already-late jury duty summons - and had people pray for me. and right now - only one day after i came home - everything is already settled. on the first night at camp, people in another room were being extremely noisy until past 2AM, making me unable to sleep at all. i was frustrated, and decided to make an announcement the next day asking people to respect others who are trying to sleep. the only thing that stopped me was the fact that i wasn't allowed to speak the entire day. but amazingly, the people who i wanted to address, who i wouldn't have identified otherwise, actually went around apologizing to everyone by themselves. what an amazing feeling to lay down my worries, and even frustrations, before God and let him take care of them! there isn't a single thing in life that praying and listening to God cannot take care of. my own vision from prayer seminar consists of being silent and listening to God away from distractions, examining and reflecting on each day from God's perspective rather than my own, learning to work and rest dilligently for God's glory, reading the Bible and memorizing scripture as a form of prayer, and accepting the positive voices around me that tell me i'm God's beloved. as much as people refer to this past week as a conference, study, or seminar, it is in fact a retreat for those who allowed it to be so - a time away from the rest of the world, away from society, even away from friends who give bad influence, to focus entirely on positive friendships, vulnerability and accountability, and growing intimacy with God. for those in prayer seminar (including myself), i wish that we can remember what we learned as we go home and return to our normal lives. listening to God, or even worshipping through wonder about nature, isn't limited to the mountains. studying the word isn't limited to the classroom. praying for one another and sharing our needs isn't limited to prayer hospital. God is everywhere, and its even more glorifying to him when we take what we learned from the retreat and let it penetrate our daily lives, where busyness and hurry seem much more important, temptations are much more real, and negative voices are much more prominent. i wish and pray that as we move on with our summers, talking or hanging out once in a while, and as we meet back together for the next schoolyear, we can pick up right where we left off - so soft, so open, so loving, and so loved, just the way God intends for us to be.

06/17: i know myself well enough to expect some kind of reflections-on-the-past-schoolyear journal entry to come out of me, but i've been so ridiculously busy and tired these days that theres simply no time to think about much. because i didnt come home last weekend, i had plenty of teaching to do this weekend, starting soon after getting home from school with just enough time to unload everything from the car and eat lunch. came home for dinner, unpacked some more, and went to sleep at like 10. trust me, i really needed it (more details later). yesterday - woke up, more teaching, lunch, and went to northridge (its lke even farther than ucla) to soundcheck for claymusic concert. finished concert, cleaned up, drove back (traffic at 11:30PM!?!?), and went to banana bay. i was friggin tired but i couldnt miss it. stayed out til like 1 in the morning. slept with a stomach full of fried rice, woke up this morning, sent my car in for an oil change, and went to church. china team prayer meeting, english service, community lunch, then did some recording for the 'listen to me' videos. come home, finished unpacking, started re-packing cuz tomorrow i'm leaving again. yupyup... its time once again for summer conference. this year we're going to idyllwild. im leaving tomorrow morning and wont be back til next sunday (not sure wut time... depends on traffic). everyone says prayer seminar is gonna be great... im totally looking forward to it. and my summer teaching schedule officially begins on monday - the day after i come back. and i havent made any lesson plans yet. oh and even better, i got a jury duty summons on thursday, and it happens to be the one letter my mom does not leave on my desk, so i didnt know about it until today. the office doesnt open til 11AM tomorrow, and i'm already gone by then, and i need to get the date postpned cuz i'll be in china during that time. looks like im screwed. owellz... God's gonna work something out. and of course, i'm still sticking with my conference tradition - no cellphone the whole time. the whole idea of 24/7 access to communication may be beneficial, but it's purely a distraction when it comes to retreats, and i refuse to spend two hundred bucks to meet God through nature and fellowship, and be interrupted by the life i can live any day away from the mountain. so if u need me during the next week, leave a message on my cell, and i'll call back either sunday or monday depending how late i get back and how tired i am.

so apparently i just realized it's finally summer. pretty crazy huh? everything happened so fast it's still gradually sinking in. thursday was my last full day of school - after turning in my essay (and getting a smoothie with tammy), i was finally done with all my school-related work. spent the afternoon wandering the hallways of 2-north watching people pack, seeing if they needed help, and letting that end-of-the-year feeling sink in. half the floor (literally) left at 8-10ish at night... it suddenly became so quiet. richard left too; its my first time in three years leaving after my roommate. such a strange feeling. went to say bye to dianne n lili at rieber and sue n eve at deneve, then met with iva n tammy back at rieber to pick up pizza for the last 2-north party of the year. im not sure what to call it... its basically midnight cafe on steroids. we had SO MUCH FOOD its not even funny. leftover drinks from tuesday's party, plus new pizzas, buffalo wings, and my 'free food' box that had expanded to TWO boxes, along with cup noodles, smores, popcorn, and a bunch of other random stuff. pretty much everyone left on the floor came by for some goodies, or simply to hang out and enjoy the last night on the floor. as for me, i stayed up past 4AM. no its not a typo. theres simply so much to do/say/think about that time flew right by without me noticing. not that it matters anyways. i still got up for breakfast though, plus another smoothie. then i finally began to tear down the wall that took me countless hours to create throughout the schoolyear and had been the background of several pictures with my floormates (some of which are actually ON the wall itself haha)... went with tammy on the last bruin cafe run to use up all my swipes. then came back and finished packing just as my mom arrived. carol came in to help me move stuff... it took two carts (and two trips to LOT 11 (!!!) ) to finish the work, and the whole process was so chaotic that i simply wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. but i made sure i made one last trip up to 2-north to say bye to those who were still there.

even now i find it strange to see pieces of my wall - the five big photos, the structure of the wraparound photo strips that i plan on keeping to use again next year, little pieces of papers and random objects filled with meaning, and of course, the six-foot-long sheet of what used to be the unused 'middle' part of my wall. during the past few weeks it has come a very long way, and the result still doesnt fail to amaze me each time i look at it.

06/13: done with finals... one more essay to go (due friday, but i'm hoping to turn it in tomorrow) and i'm all done. quick summary of finals week so far -

monday- breakfast, study, sociology final. walked to campus with anny n lisa. as expected, the final took like half an hour, so i made it back for lunch. santa monica 2 was cancelled because of the strange weather, which i accepted after some hesitation as God's sign for me to get a head start on studying music history. i actually finished my essay two days before it was due =). after dinner yune came to visit me (and sign my wall =) ). went with her to bruincafe and her apartment... talked about lotsa stuff... too bad we both still had finals to worry about...
tuesday (yesterday) - breakfast, study, lunch, study. history study group with edward sally n becca @ sally's new apartment. as usual, having a study group saved my life =). and apparently my brief "prose" on my essay makes me an overachiever. come on, can't i feel good about myself for once? hehe... dinnered afterwards @ rieber. listened to sally n becca's chiildhood memories hehe. went to study a little more at covel (computer lab)... saw julia n ran there =). printed out some stuff for sociology essay (due friday... once again a head start! =) ), then made it back to my room in time for - midnight cafe!! went to pick up pizza w/ richard. turns out that morning richard, lisa, and iva all ordered food thinking they were the only one doing it, and at the end we had NINE pizzas. and 9 plates of buffalo wings, and over 50 drinks. plus some other snacks including last quarter's unforgettable beer chips! my special request.. thanks richard hehe. and thanks chris for letting us borrow the table to put food on. i dont know what we would have done without it. i ended up trapped in a corner surrounded by pizzas. haha... yes, theres pictures to show it... i'll post them when i have time. it was amazing how fast word could spread... a few minutes later our room was filled with people. what can be better than free food while studying? hehe...

today - sleeping at 2AM last night didn't help me much, but for such an awesome party it was all worth it. got breakfast and studied in my room until it was time for my final. as i listened to mozart, suddenly a ginormous WASP appeared in my room. how da hEck did it come inside??? and it was so annoying making it leave the room. i ended up using the secret "exit" on the windows. but at least it worked =). then back to studying, then time for the final. it was kinda hard, and really long, but im pretty sure i lived. came back to hedrick with the intention of possibly attempting santa monica 2 again before dinner (5PM as usual hehe), but that didn't work out either. more details on that later. chilled on the floor while doing my essay... talked on the phone with kelley... havent done that in forever! took a brief carwatching trip (405 freeway), and made it back to hedrick at like 5:03. i expected people to be getting ready for dinner, but no one was there! i called anny, and she wasnt back from work yet! apparently everyone not only went to eat at exactly 5:00, but went to eat without anny! hahaha... that never happened before. more essaying after dinner, and now i'm taking a break and writing this entry instead =).

soo... im sure all of you who know me well enough are probably really surprised (and perhaps confused) at how i devoted almost no time to carwatching since sunday. putting aside the fact that i'm still slowly recovering from Enzo shock (see previous entry), today was not only very sunny (perfect weather), but i was done with my finals and definitely had enough time to go do some hunting on santa monica blvd. but shortly after returning to hedrick, i realized i couldn't go anywhere. people were beginning to bring carts up to their rooms to load everything and go home. the schoolyear was suddenly coming to an end, and by being gone the whole afternoon i would be sacrificing many precious goodbyes, words on my wall, and fulfilling endings. it was simply not worth it. i'll have plenty of opportunities in the future to spend time alone shooting pictures, but the story of 2 north is quickly coming to an end, and i want to be there for every last moment of it. with that said, the rest of the schoolyear will be spent finishing my essay and enjoying final moments with people before summer. oh and in case u didnt know, i'll be here til around noon on friday. tomorrow night is the second midnight cafe, and having less people on the floor means more food for whoever's left =). theres still several dozen sodas left from yesterday, as well as plenty of stuff in the 'free food' box sitting on my bed that people are constantly adding things in to and taking things out of. so come by (11PM-1AM) and have some! in fact, come by anytime and have some. hehe... ok, one last thing before i shut up. earlier rthis week i found out how truly intelligent the ucla dining staff is...

06/11: my first final is in less than a day. honestly, i'm really excited. in fact, im so excited that i'm studying early for my seocnd final already. finals week is gonna be sooo awesome. yesterday i had breakfast with lisa n bridget, then studied until i felt like i really needed some fresh air. decided to do a spontaneous shooting trip to see what weekend life is like on sunset blvd. lets just say this is about as insane as bel-air can get. oh and i went to westwood (wilshire) for a while too. more details on that later. more studying at night, along with another card game party =). anny won in ratscrew again... im not surprised hehe. today i got up and did some bible study / academic study, then ate with avani n michelle, then studied some more until i got tired and decided to use this entry as a break =). so anyways, about finals week - this is what my week will basically look like -

today (sunday) - brunch, study & possible carwatching break, dinner (5:00PM), Food for Finals (7:30PM), more studying
monday - breakfast, Sociology final (11:30AM), lunch, Santa Monica 2 (hopefully with some time to chill at the beach. anyone want to join me there?), dinner back in the dorms, more studying
tuesday - study group for music history (TBA). Midnight Cafe #1 (11:00PM-1:00AM) in me n richard's room.
wednesday - Music History final (11:30AM), possible vacation with avani n michelle. work on (finish?) sociology essay
thursday - turn in sociology essay (anytime... its actually due friday). start packing. Midnight Cafe #2 (11:00PM-1:00AM) in lisa n bridget's room. finish packing almost everything
friday - breakfast, finish packing, move out (before noon).

of course, im definitely hoping to squeeze Golden Triangle 12 into the schedule somewhere, as well as hang out with a bunch of people before saying goodbye for summer. if you have free time, make sure u swing by to visit me. as usual, theres gonna be lots of food and drinks constantly circulating in and out of the room, especially after midnight cafe. right now there's a HUGE plate of brownies sitting on my bed. if you come you can have some too =). and of course, dont forget to leave a message on my wall! its amazing watching it fill up with more and more writing/drawings every day.

so before i shut up... yesterday's Sunset & Wilshire carwatching trip - simply amazing. its so amazing that its comparable to a Golden Triangle trip. highlights include a lotus exige (first time seeing one), rolls-royce silver cloud iii convertible (very very rare!!), and bentley arnage rl (also very rare!). and the ferraris... 360 spider, 550 maranello (no photo), 575 maranello, 456m, and 612 scaglietti. is that not good enough? apparently not hehe... i'll end with this before shutting up and going back to studying. one hint should give it away - it starts with an 'e'.......

06/09: week 10, part 2. yesterday was the last day of theory (section)... severin gave us a "graduation ceremony", complete with 'certificates' and champagne. hehe... we even took a group picture (which is already online by the way, along with pics from bridget's bday and more random college pics). unfortunately i couldnt exactly enjoy the ceremony, cuz i was kind of in a state of emergency after realizing earlier in the morning that i might not have my dress shirt at school and needed it for the chorus concert which was in a few hours. with the help of my scooter, i made it back to hedrick and confirmed that i was indeed in trouble. luckily i called alex and he happened to have his dress shirt and said i could borrow it. after all that was settled, i got to talk on the phone with hannah and... ken! yupyup... we're soo gonna hang out in the summer =). went back to campus right away for the final chorus rehearsal, then came back for dinner. i got the shirt from alex at 6 - two hours before the concert began(!!). then before i walked down to SMB i realized i didn't ahve black socks either. that wasnt nearly as big of a problem as the shirt though... i solved it by pulling my pants a bit lower and walking slowly. hehe... so the concert actually went really well... no stupid mistakes or anything. me n mike stayed for the second half of the concert too (chamber singers).

today - last day of sociology and history... after class i went straight for the practice rooms to get ready for... the JURY. it turned out alright... could have been better but wasnt too bad. one less thing on my mind hehe... took a little break in the afternoon at... the 405 freeway. haha... weird i know. so i was originally gonna do some target practice at the west gate, but then i decided to head to the freeway, where i realized there was something i never tried to do before - aerial views! yupyup... the 405 never fails to surprise me with random exotics, visible from very far away, especially during rush hour traffic. got some pretty cool shots from the bridge that will be on the next ECPG update. meanwhile some foo attempted to kidnap my scooter while i was on the other side of the bridge. i saw him get off the passenger side of the car, kidnap him, and hop back inside. so i ran after him. and it was an easy catch even on foot, cuz the car was turning onto the freeway, and on a single-lane onramp during rush hour theres nothing they can do. luckily no violence or property damage was needed to rescue my ride - i just went up to the car window and they gave it back. pretty easy, even though a part of me still regrets not leaving a dent on their car afterwards hehe. remember, one great thing about scooters is that aside from helping in transportation, it also doubles as a weapon. hehe...

came back to hedrick just in time for the floor end-of-the-year banquet. lotsa food, chillin, and slideshow. apparently boris and victoria got a hold of my computer while i wasnt there, cuz there were some pictures of me that i never showed anyone! scary... haha... played cards with lisa anny victoria dean and boris... boris dethroned anny in ratscrew!! thats amazing... hehe

so anyways... now that all the piano/compositon/music stuff is done, all thats left is the academics, namely finals. yes music majors have finals too hehe. and of course, all the eating and chillin to do during finals week. i actually look forward to it =). and besides, i got 4 smoothies in the fridge to help me survive the weekend =). ok, i'll shut up now.

06/07: week 10, part 1. this is probably the most intense week of the quarter. yes, even more intense than finals week. monday i performed my set theory composition in theory class. yesterday was my piano 'performance class' (recital?), today my serialism composition was due, tomorrow is the chorus concert (8PM @ schoenberg... come! =) ), and friday is my piano jury. but its been an amazing week so far, thanks to all my friends around me, along with the motivation that God placed in my heart again to make me practice and work hard.

monday - swung by SMB after sociology to practice piano, since i was totally not ready for my lesson and also had to review my composition to perform in class. came back for lunch, then went to theory. penelope, joel, and i performed our compositions... i got some very positive feedback, which gave me some desperately needed encouragement (see 6/2 entry). dinnered with floor buddies, then went back to smb for piano lesson. the last lesson of the year... it went pretty well, even though i still had so much to work on before the recital. the funny thing is that even on the night before my recital, my mind was mainly on my serialism composition. after a good performance of my set theory piece, i was so motivated that i stayed at SMB an extra hour to compose. came back to the dorm area and ran into heather and *drumroll* matt chung from troy! wow... who would have guessed hehe. got to catch up for a lil wihle, then went back to hedrick just in time for sara to come visit (the first non-hedrick person to tag my wall! =) ). walked down to puzzles together then i came back to sleep.

yesterday - went straight to SMb after breakfast to practice and work on serialism. typical class routine, followed by dinner, then back to SMB for recital. i had very low expectations for the recital, since i felt stupid playing the same piece for the third time in a row. but it turned out much better than my first two attempts. i'm not gonna let myself feel too good yet though, cuz i still have a jury to practice for hehe. stayed at SMB another hour to finish my composition... then came back to hedrick to rewrite it so its actually legible hehe. went to sing happy birthday to bridget at midnight, then went to sleep.

today - practiced piano after sociology again, came back for lunch w/ tammy richard ran n jeff. right when the mushrooms came out me richard n ran all jumped up at the same time and ran to be first in line. hehe... it was soo good! got an iceblend to take to class, cuz i definittely did not want to fall asleep. why? cuz its the last day of theory! yupyup... two years of music theory, and suddenly its all over. crazy huh? it passed by soo fast. and yes i'm actually really sad. im gonna miss not seeing everyone every day, and its gonna feel weird having free time from 1PM to 3PM next year. chilled in hedrick in the afternoon, then went to dinner at BJ's for bridget's birthday. had awesome alfredo pizza n pizzookie. we were gonna play sardines in the sculpture garden but not enough people could make it so we went back to hedrick n played cards instead. how many card games are intense enough to leave people bruised? haha... i love Spoons =). me lisa anny n dean played in the rec room while watching people dance and exercise. it was soo violent but soo fun. then we played that egyptian wutever game, slapjack, and mao. hannah called me to tell me something amazing and unbelievable. her teacher at school right now happens to be... ken yeh! i mean... mr. yeh. haha... wow! what a small world. havent talked to ken in soo long.. hopefully we'll be in touch again. but yea... that was a HUGE surprise.

so anyways... tomorrow's the choir concert, which i'm actually not all that stressed about. hope it turns out well. everyone watch the conductor dangit! haha... and lets hope there wont be any more flying baton incidents hehe. if u wanna come, its at 8PM in schoenberg hall... tickets are $3 for students. its gonna be a fun concert and shouldnt be too long. and i would love to have someone to walk back to the dorms with. hehe... ok i guess i'm done writing now. its 12:30... i should go to sleep. goodnight!

06/05: remember back in the beginning of the schoolyear when i first finished constructing and decorating my wall? it looked something like this -

06/04: SNU time =). worship practice with steph's team in the morning, chilled at home in the afternoon, and went to cell at night for our scavenger hunt. yupyup... it was soooooo fun!! highlight of the night was at thomas burton park when we met these three random strangers that helped us score our 'pick up a stranger' and 'take a picture with a stranger holding a bible' points. they were in the middle of building a cardboard fort to destroy with their pickup truck. so we stayed to watch and i videotaped them. its gonna be on youtube very soon =)

today - worship was awesome... "Come to Jesus" - one of my favorite songs... as much as people disagree with me, i think one of the most amazing things about music is beautiful simplicity. a simple hymn with just piano and vocals... and the result is amazing. (if u havent heard it, go lsiten to it. its by chris rice... soo good!). community lunch afterwards... ate a lot and talked a lot, then went home to pack for school. avani and michelle are having a studdie party in my room right now. despite the ridiculously hot weather (which i'm actually quite thankful for after all that cloudiness), theres one good reason to visit my room - ever since the beginning of the schoolyear there's been a secret FAN located inside my top closet door, and after leaving it on for a while, it serves as kind of an air conditioner, especially on hot stuffy nights like this. so swing by anytime for some cool air hehe. especially those of you who will no longer have a fridge starting tomorrow. (now you see wut i mean? microfridges suck hehe). ok... i guess i'll shut up now. bye!

06/02: week 9, part 2. yesterday - went to SMB before class to practice... ran into anita on the way and we talked in the hot sun for a long time =). finally got to eat at rendezvºus last night. the food is great, but (as expected) the rice and noodles were pretty disappointing... seriou5ly, how hard is it for ucla to get the right kind of rice and use a ricecooker? and it can save them some labor too... they're always underemployed right? hehe... went to catalyst - my last catalyst this year ( i wont be there next week cuz its the choir concert.) at night me joseph natalie and a few other guys went skateboarding. yes... for those of u who didnt know, i do skateboard. just a little bit, if it counts at all. i still cant keep balance when going too fast, but small hills are a lot of fun. we went to a parking lot and took the elevator to the top then skated to the bottom. soo fun! then we went to westwood =). yes, i made it all the way to westwood without falling. its soo fuN! went to diddy riese... thanks joseph for the icecream =). came back to hedrick at like midnight...

today - sociology discussion was cancelled so i had a free hour, which i spent practicing piano. yes... i'm practicing piano again. even though im still kinda disappointed, i do feel kinda ambitious about my very first jury, and somehow i'm actually feeling pretty motivated to do well, even if it means practicing every day. since my lesson i've been practicing every day so far, and i hope to keep it up (at least on schooldays) until the jury (next friday).

came home at noon, got lollicup for lunch =). went to teach til night. prayed at the hilltop - soething i look forward to every weekend. so yea... i guess its about time for me to get ready to sleep. goodnight!

06/01: Thoughts on my role in the world of music, part 2...

Ironically, during the process of sorting out my thoughts on modern music, Professor Lefkowitz selcted my set theory composition assignment as among the top three in the class and asked me (in front of the class) to perform it during the next class meeting. Several classmates asked me to let them see my work, and I must admit I loved the attention. But I was conscious enough about my own feelings towards set theory to not allow myself to be overjoyed. Somehow amidst my frequent complaining about disliking the things I was learning, suddenly I was excited, and I looked forward to the opportunity to show off my work to the whole class.

I realized this was because I had confidence that my piece was already among the best in the class, and the performance would help me boost my sense of self-worth. In fact, all those years I spent composing for the annual Junior Original Concerts would probably not have happened had I not been successful on my first attempt. After writing two pieces that were chosen for regional performances followed by four more that were chosen for national events, I graduated from the JOC program, and from then on I never composed again, simply because I no longer needed to do so. Having no instructor and no more competitions to look forward to, I no longer had the motivation that had fueled me throughout the JOC years.

After several recent conversations with other composition students, I realized I am quite different from them. Most of them are always on the lookout for opportunities to write music and have it performed, and some even claim to have a problem of working on too many pieces at once. In contrast, the only time I have composed since my admission to the UCLA music department was for a recital that I treated as mandatory. I am probably the only composition major who does not compose without obligations or deadlines. And even though I attend almost every "new music" recital in the department, I must admit I do so only because I feel like as a composer I should be present in the audience.

During winter quarter, I made a return to Mrs. Lucy (my former piano teacher)'s recital, playing the piece I had been studying with my new piano TA at school. Even though I was extremely nervous after being absent from these recitals for years, my performance was far better than I could have expected, and the audience's response told me it was probably my best performance so far. Mrs. Lucy talked to me afterwards and told me I should consider adding a second emphasis in piano performance to my current major. After some consideration, I decided it would be too difficult, since it may already take me more than four years to graduate with composition alone.

At school, things were entirely different when it came to playing piano. Not once did I reach the level of performance I achieved at the recital, and every once in a while when I had an opportunity to perform, it would turn out far from reaching my standards. My piano TA treats me like a typical composition student, meaning she believes it is best for me to study modern music since it can help me learn compositional techniques. I appreciate her willingness to help me pursue my emphasis, but I'm quite sure that in a building named after Schoenberg, I'll have more than enough exposure to modern music. When it comes to piano lessons, I'm more interested in performance techniques than composition. This schoolyear I have studied two incredible modern compositions, both of which I really enjoy. But more and more often I find myself desperately craving the older musical styles that make up the majority of my piano repertoire.

In terms of performance, tonal music and non-tonal music often require very different approaches. Modern music tends to focus more on complex rhythms, extreme sonorities, and unique harmonites. Classical (in a general sense) music, on the other hand, is much easier to learn and breeze through, but much more difficult to master because of the importance of phrasing and other performance-oriented areas. As much as I enjoy the pieces I have learned this year, I believe I could have learned much more if I played something that I could connect with beyond the physical level. Perhaps this is because I'm still struggling with trying to close the gap between my two teachers and suffering the consequences of my two-year hiatus from learning piano. In general, learning music as an extracurricular activity and learning music as a music major have brought me entirely different attitudes, and even now I'm still having trouble looking to the future and seeing myself as a real musician rather than a student. I'm sure that those things will all work out eventually, but for now what I want most is simply to bring together everything I have learned, both past and present, and apply it to my performance of music that I can treat as both a skill and an art.

Tonality has always had a place in my heart, and just as my departure from music in my first year of college showed me how much I truly love it, I believe my departure from tonality is helping me understand that it will always be a part of my own contribution to the world of music. There is something about tonal music that other styles simply cannot satisfy, and even in a place where people constantly feel like they should turn away from what has already been done, there will always be a large audience who wants to satisfy the same craving I currently have.

(to be continued...)

05/31: (week 9, part 1) great week so far... didnt get to eat at rendezvºus yesterday cuz the line was insanely long... piano lesson (last night) actually went very well. i'm starting to feel motivated again (thank God), and i hope this will reflect how i do in my recital next week (even though i'm still playing the same friggin piece) and also my jury. had a cheese fries party at night... havent had that in a LONG time. today - me n tammy spontaneously decided during lunch that we were gonna go to santa monica. hahaha... i love the good old days when everyone was so outgoing. seems like most people are too busy to do anything this quarter... and this is probably our last time going to 3rd street promenade this schoolyear. (i might go again myself... more on that later =) ). *siGh* everything is finishing up soo fast... in a few weeks we'll all be out of here. thats crazy...

so anyways... carwatching update. now that the weather seems to have finally switched to 'summer' mode, my awesome trio (my camera, my scooter, and myself =) ) has finally sprung to life. however, i strongly feel like i want to spend most of week 10 and finals week with my friends rather than out by myself. so here's my plan - currently i'm looking at three potential carwatching trips, among which i will probably choose two. (1) West Hollywood 1. yes i know... this one caught me by surprise too. apparently theres this thing called the PlayersRun that takes place on sunset blvd... its kinda like the Gumball rally, and the cars depart from the mondrian hotel next wendesday. this trip will require an early-morning bus ride to the hotel, and also ditching sociology (im sure i can afford one absense). the problem is that i dont have the exact time of departure, so its gonna be really hard to catch them. but then again, the cars this year supposedly include an Apollo and a Veyron. we'll see wut happens... (2) Santa Monica 2. remember last quarter's little exploratory expedition that hooked me up with a Jalpa and a bunch of other exotics? i'm thinking about the same trip again, except this time i will go earlier to catch the shops at their busier hours. daylight savings makes this trip much easier, and if time permits, i might consider some time at the beach before heading home =). because i want to go early, this trip will have to take place on finals week, most likely either monday or wednesday after my final. (3) Golden Triangle 12. come on, did u really think two trips to the triangle is enough for a whole quarter? and besides, its almost summer, and im gonna need enough pictures to keep myself active on ExoticSpotter until school starts again. so yea... chances are two of these trips will actually take place. of course, random Westwood and Sunset trips may take place anytime =). but i really want to plan my calendar well so i can make these trips happen without interfering with spending time with people before summer. so we'll see wut happens... for now i'm gonna shut up. bye!

05/29: SNU... i mean "MNU" hehe. great long weekend... i think this is the first long weekend i spent at home this whole schoolyear. seems like everyone went home, so it was pointless for me to get back early anyways...

Friday: left school w/ steph n her mom... got in-n-out on the way home... apparently they pay $9 per hour... i shoudl work here hehe. went to teach, came home for dinner, went to teach some more. visited efc walnut afterwards...they had some potluck / talent show thingy and vanessa invited me but i couldnt make it, so i swung by at the end to say hi =).

Saturday & Sunday: went shopping w/ mom n carol, then cellgroup at night. sunday school & church... went home for lunch cuz i'm trying to save money (if u dont know why, see previous entry). got lollicup for dinner... my first boba in weeks! and i got two, cuz i always buy two (the second one is 25cents) and nobody else wanted it. talked on the phone with steph who was out camping... then phoned with hannah... we've been talkin on the phone a LOT and i love it! its one of those times when awkward silences can be made not awkward anymore... and i love that feeling =).

Today: practice w/ claymusic for the China trip. wait... did i mention that before? i dont think so =/. owellz... i guess i should.. but in a bit hehe. the whole team got... *drumroll* boba! hahaha... so thats three in two days =). and we went to dinner @ boston cafe and i didnt feel the need to order another one hehe. then went home, packed, and came back to school.

been doing a lot of scheduling these past few days. first thing - i've decided im not going home the weekend between week 10 and finals week. cuz my piano jury is friday and i wont have students on saturday so theres really no need to go back... and i wanna get back early on sunday to study anyways. maybe i'll go to harvest la again? we'll see...

one more thing - is anyone going to be in their apartment (walking distance from ucla) the Sunday AFTER finals and the week after, and doesnt mind me staying over for one night? i'll have a sleeping bag (cuz im going to summercon on Monday) so i can sleep on the floor anywhere. and im hoping someone will be there to watch over my laptop until i return a week later. (long story... im not gonna explain now). if u can help pleez let me know. thanx!

moving a bit farther ahead - summer! i'm becoming more and more certain that i'm gonna look for more employment opportunities, so please continue to pray for that. meanwhile the keyboard deal is settled, and all i know now is that i'll be buying a case and an amp (KC350?) over the summer. so if u have hookups let me know! hehe...

last thing - yes, the China trip. from mid july to end of july, i'll be going to Fujian with Claymusic for a series of evangelical concerts. this is my first overseas trip in over a decade, and possibly considered my first missions trip. i have no idea wut to expect, and its really uncharacteristic of me to let God take complete control of my time there. but thats something our whole team will learn together, and im sure we're all gonna learn a lot and have a great time.

so yea... back at school right now for week 9. tammy n ran just left the room after a backstreet boys party hehe. i think i should go shower and sleep so i'll be awake for class tomorrow. . its so weird that the first schoolday of the week is a tuesday. i feel so um... confused. hehe... ohh and for those who dont know, tomorrow is the grand opening of RENDEZVºUS, the new dining facility located between hedrick and rieber! tomorow is for hedrick only.... wednesdy (i think) is for rieber, and afterwards its open to everyone. i hear rumours that thhe food is amazingly good. cant wait to try it out myself. anyways... thats it for now. goodnight!

05/25: 4 plates of chicken & beans, 1 bowl of pasta, 1 catfish sandwich, 1 plate of potato wedges, 2 glasses of juice, and 2 pizookies. i'm sooooo full its not even funny. in fact, i'm so full that i decided not to go to catalyst =/. after eating for an hour and a half, i was literally unable to walk for a long time.. and even now (2 hours later) i can still feel the weight of the food inside me. for those who are confused, tonight was theme dinner =). the most amazing meal of the year, even better than last quarter's theme dinner. i just hope i can hurry up and digest so i'll be able to walk normally again hehe...

update on the keyboard situation - a BIG twist in the plot. soon after i wrote the entry about my plan to invest in a keyboard this summer, jacob emailed me to let me know he's gonna sell the RS70 in a couple months. BUT he also included an offer to let me buy it from him. after a week of serious consideration, i've decided that i'll take his offer. putting the money issue aside, the truth is that this keyboard has helped me in so many ways i can never repay. when i first met jacob and mentioned i couldnt afford my own keyboard, he showed up at my door with his own keyboard (which was almost brand new at the time) and let me borrow it indefinitely. when i told him i didn't want to bring it to school in case it got stolen or damaged, he was the one who told me to take it with me knowing i would need it. and it eventually became a crucial part of my dorm life, both for worshipping or improvving in my room and for doing theory homework. i also brought it with me to almost every claymusic concert, along with a few intervarsity events. the RS70 aged in my hands more than anyone elses, and i dont know how i can ever repay Jacob for his kindness. but i will do what i can and save him the hassle of finding it a new home as its value begins to drop rapidly (since its replacement model was just released recently). the amount i'm buying it for is definitely affordable for me, and i believe my decision will do both jacob and myself a big favor.

05/24: week 8 (already!?!?) update, part 1. amazing week so far, despite the many things on my mind. im quite sure that one of the things stressing me out is the fact that in no time this schoolyear is gonna end, and theres so many things i'm gonna miss. the past few days have been extremely eventful... monday - piano lesson actually went well. i cleared up a lot of things i was confused with after last week, and now i dont feel as stupid anymore (even though its still hard to get over the fact that i'll be playing the same piece for three recitals in a row). this time my lesson ended even later than last week (!!!), but i kinda expected it to happen so i had my scooter on me, which helped me make it back to hedrick in time for dinner still. worship meeting, followed by dinner (#2 hehe) in covel. jeff's milk got salted while he was getting food... it was hilarious =). went to check mail with anny n tammy... and i left "gifts" in a lot of people's mailboxes hehe. then played cards w/ lisa anny tammy n richard... at the end it was just lisa n anny playing in egyptian ratwutever its called, and i kept slapping back in.. and apparenty i'm a cheater =/. seriou5ly it was totally cheating, but totally unintentional. but yea... i dont think i've had this much fun on 2N in a LONG time. definitely brings back great memories, and i'm glad these great moments still exist =).

tuesday - chorus ended super early, AND class is cancelled on Thursday... i like how the one day class gets cancelled happens to be the day i was planning on ditching (leaving during break). come on, its theme dinner... i cant help it =). had my typical 'extended dinner', staying in the dining hall as people left and others joined our table, until everyone finished. im gonna miss this soo much next year =/. went to watch capoeira (some brazilian martial arts thingy) with emily n her friend lydia. great show, except the hour-long documentary movie was kinda excessive hehe. there were some amazing flips and kicks and its crazy that nobody got hurt. that takes seriou5 skill. bruin cafe with tammy n iva. haven't done that in a long time too (no cheese fries? =/ owellz hehe). victoria christine niki and boris came by to eat in my room... my wall finally got devirginized hehe. more details on that soon. (or just swing by and you can find out early hehe).

today - apparently sociology class was moved from powell to public policy again but nobody knew... luckily i got there like 2 minutes earlier than usual and caught professor bonacich and phil coming out the building directing familiar faces to follow them. i kinda felt stupid at first for not bringing my scooter, but suzi arrived at the same time i did so we got to talk on the way to public policy. it always makes me sad when i take a class for a whole quarter and then leave without really meeting a single person. (why do u think i loved english 4w so much? besides the fact that its already one of the best classes i've taken to begin with). hope this class wont turn out that way too...

lunched w/ richard ran n jeff... covel had the most amazing mushrooms today... me n ran cleared the tray right when we saw it hehe. went to theory class, then left my backpack in SMB and went to... *drumroll*... beverly hills! i know i know... i haven't mentioned anything about this trip (golden triangle 11), cuz the weather these days is so unpredictable . and even this morning when i woke up i wasnt sure if the trip was gonna happen or not, cuz for some reason my foot really hurts. it feels like i sprained it, but its not my ankle... its like the top side of my foot. but i think i walked so much that it doesnt hurt as much anymore. and as usual, it was all worth it. i went today with NO expectations, since after the whole Gumball craze i knew i was gonna get disappointed seeing rodeo drive as an ordinary street. but im definitely pretty satisfied. 'happy hour' came a few minutes after 5PM, when i was probing one of the santa monica blvd parking areas and discovered a LAGONDA. 2nd time seeing one in my life. friggin amazing!! and there was a flying spur a few cars down. then i went back to the street just in time to see a superamerica (!!!) drive by so i chased it. saw a diablo and 360 spider (both parked) from the corner of my eye during the chase... and actually i totally lost it, except i've been to the triangle enough times to know some common trends - almost all exotics eastbound on little santa monica blvd will either turn left into the neighborhood (meaning i'll lose it) or turn right into the 76 gas station (which is where i went). and sure enough it was there. totally amazing... first time i got to see that glass roof up close. then i went back to find the diablo and 360 and got them both too. they were two cars apart on the same street. how crazy is that? too far apart for a combo shot though =/. ohh and bijan's slr mclaren was there again. this time he just left it there with the window open. other highlights of the trip include a maserati quattroporte sport gt (first time seeing one), a lamborghini gallardo se, and a rr silver spur limousine (a real rolls royce limo!! do u have any idea how rare those things are??)

came back to hedrick a little before 7. thanx ran for joining me for dinner... it always sucks to eat alone after such an exhausting trip. my foot is actually not hurting as much as it did before. but i do know that tomorrow morning when i wake up i'm gonna be sooooo sore its not even funny. anyways... time to get ready to sleep... tomorrow me n denise are supposed to do our little composition thingy for severin's class. i didnt even start writing mine yet =/. owellz.. theres always tomorrow hehe. im pretty sure i'll have enough time to finish it. so yea... guess i'll stop writing here. goodnight!

05/23: Thoughts on my role in the world of music, part 1...

Even within the UCLA music building, being a composer has many connotations. For example, my piano teacher assumes I should play atonal music instead of classical music. My theory professor assumes I am (or at least am supposed to be) interested in "experimental" music presentations that often attract less than a dozen people in the entire department (including both students and faculty). As a music student I try to attend as many performances as possible, knowing they will benefit me in one way or another. This includes orchestra concerts, chamber performances, and composers' recitals. It bothered me to realize that the composers' recitals, unlike other performances, are not only free events, but are almost unknown to people outside the music department, and as a result the size and enthusiasm of their audiences are extremely low. The audiences of composers' recitals are made up almost entirely of friends and relatives of the composers, along with a few professors and TAs who are interested in hearing new music, and a few random students who simply had nothing else to do. Even many of the other composition students not participating in the recital were absent from the audience, and I am one of very few (in a group that is low in number to begin with) who show up at almost every recital to support my peers. Even within the music department, composers live in their own little world, unfamiliar to other musicians, because they typically represent a musical genre so unique that even other musicians often have trouble understanding or agreeing with it.

During a recent theory lecture, Professor Lefkowitz (a composer himself) was asked whether or not he composes tonal music. He said no, and explained that Beethoven and other composers in past centuries have already perfected the art of tonal music, and none of us today can write something greater than what has already been done. He is probably right, except his explanation fails to satisfy the negative attitude I recently began to develop towards modern music.

I began to question the validity of "experimental" music when I recently realized that after studying theory for almost two years, I was, for the first time, able to do my homework (on set theory) while listening to music on the radio without the two interfering with one another. Until that point all my homework consisted of using specifically musical concepts that made it nearly impossible to do while listening to other music simultaneously. But when it comes to set theory, it's all about math. I find it difficult to accept the fact that my homework assignments and class lectures can consist entirely of math problems, with seldom reference to a pitch or two on the staff. As much as I understand that pitch, rhythm, and harmony are all fundamentally based on math, I believe that using math to teach music is only as correct as teaching an English class in Latin.

When I studied tonal harmony, Professor Lefkowitz often explained that the rules of harmonic progression and voice leading are sometimes broken, but it is still acceptable because it does not offend the ear, since music is for listening more than it is for analyzing. How can this account for the fact that the composers we study in class now abandon sonically pleasing music in favor of mathmatical accuracy? As seen through the numerous composers' recitals that I have attended at UCLA, many examples of modern music not only fail to satisfy the ear, but require written explanations by the composers to help audiences understand their significance.

The UCLA music program has taught me that it is important to study music in terms of its historical context. As far as I know, compositions were always written for particular audiences or purposes, whether it's for ballrooms or cathedrals, servants or kings. The most significant musical works throughout history are rarely those written purely "for the sake of writing music".

Today's purposes for music include movies, pop culture, religion, and more. Whether a piece or song is written to convey an affect, express personal feelings, supplement visual arts, or teach a lesson, its success is largely based on its abililty to achieve its purpose. This is most evident in movie soundtracks, where classical symphonies, rap songs, and even atonal music all have their place, as long as they correspond to the images on the screen. With that in mind, no particular musical style can be considered "right" or "wrong".

My negative feelings about "experimental" music are only as valid as those of conservative classical musicians who argue that jazz is not "music". In other words, it's simply a matter of opinion. Set theory, serialism, and other contemporary composition techniques are undoubtedly as much of an art as more widely accepted musical genres. In fact, composing simply "for the sake of composing" can, in a way, be considered purposeful too. However, because modern music has deviated so much from what most people are accustomed to (and what future generations will still grow up listening to), the audience of such styles is extremely small, and judging by the number of students studying music today and the unlimited possibilities presented by "experimental" music, there isn't much room for success in the same way musicians of past centuries earned their fame. Many of these compositions will never be performed again after their debuts, and they face an almost impossible chance of maintaining noteworthy significance in the future.

It's safe to say, then, that most composers today contribute to their field out of personal interest. After all, the beauty of all art forms lies in their universal ability to express feelings beyond literal meaning. "Experimental" music satisfies its audiences no less than a rock band pleases its fans. So even with all personal opinions aside, I must disagree with those who believe certain musical styles are superior to others. Professor Lefkowitz is probably right in saying that no one will ever compose tonal music better than Beethoven. But using this as a reason for dismissing tonality as a whole is simply a response to the fear of one's inevitable weaknesses. In fact, many minimalist or serial compositions are written to avoid the composer's own inabilities to master difficult performance or harmonic techniques. Good atonal, polytonal, or even experimental music definitely exists, but only when the composer maintains the same purposeful attitude toward music as composers of the past. Modern music is without doubt a unique art form, and there are definitely people who appreciate and enjoy it. However, I must admit I'm not one of them. And this leads me to question my role as a composition student, and prompts me to consider where I belong in today's ever-increasing spectrum of music.

(to be continued...)

05/21: SNU time =). last night's claymusic concert was awesome... one of my favorites so far. i usually complain that we get booked by really big churches but theyre so bad at promotion so the seats are only like 1/3 full, and its really disappointing looking down from stage and seeing a big room almost empty. this time we were at a smaller church in south pasadena and it was entirely filled. such a satisfying feeling =). and this church went all out... they not only prepared colorful flashing spotlights, but they have a friggin FOG MACHINE. how cool is that? i've never been on stage with a fog machine blowing right next to me. hehe... soo last night was a night full of 'firsts'. aside from the fog machine, it was the first claymusic concert that people paid to get in. the church was having some fundraising event for Africa and invited us, along with a few other groups, to take care of the music. the front row seats were A HUNDRED BUCKS. talk about making me nervous... first i find out i'm gonna be playing keyboard with spontaneous bursts of colorful smoke in my face, then i realize people are paying a hundred friggin dollars (dallers? hehe) to watch. it was soo much fun though. and having people watching us from the backstage corner was fun too =). yupyup... i must also mention that this is also my first concert where i met a friend i'm gonna keep in touch with. as if everything else wasnt enough, hannah (henna? do pen names count online too? hehe) said i played well and i said thanks... u know, the usual stuff that happens after concerts. except we kept on talking and talking for the rest of the night. turns out we have sooo much in common... i hope she doesnt think i'm weird n crazy like a lot of people do though hehe. ohh and i also met phoebe (also from their chruch). she wants me to help her with piano stuff... maybe in the summer? its kinda far, but i dont want to never see them again right? hehe... so anyways... after we left the church we went to... *drumroll* banana bay! not surprising hehe. but i was sooooo friggin hungry!! spicy shrimp fried rice never fails to satisfy me, especially at midnight when i'm dying for food. and usually i dont eat so much right before going to sleep, but concert afterparties are always reasonable exceptions right? =)

the only downside is that i didnt sleep til like 2AM, and had to play for worship this morning. i was pretty awake though... worship w/ garland's team went well too. i stayed afterwards for community lunch but didnt stay for the dvc seminar/movie cuz it would take all day and i had stuff to do at home, namely homework and packing for school. so now i'm back at ucla and ready to face another week... or am i? *siGh* i havent practiced piano all week simply cuz i wasnt motivated. this week seems pretty chill for the most part, so im gonna spend a lot of time thinking about stuff, and i'll probably post most of my random thoughs here too. so yea... i think i'm done talking now so i'll shut up. bye!

05/19: no teaching tonight, so i'm sitting in front of my computer not doing much. and i didnt wanna call people to go hang out cuz im really not yet sure about my summer financial situation, namely whether or not i'll be buying a keyboard. so anyways... went to lunch with steph and her mom on the way home from ucla. we ate at some korean tofu house on colima, and right when i opened the menu i started laughing out loud and had to take a picture...

05/19: sitting in sociology class right now and not really feeling like paying attention... yesterday was really interesting - i woke up thinking about me n kat's performance, which didnt really bother me much anymore. but still... the fact that it should ahve been over already but still didnt happen yet bothered me, and so i faced the day with no good expectations. during breakfast my omelette got stolen. fortunately i wasnt eating alone, cuz otherwise i would have probed the dining hall until i found out who took it, and made sure he had a big enough share of omelette on his face and clothes to feel deeply humiliated walking to class. what really made me mad was that after the omelette guy told me someone took it already, he started lecturing me about how i need to wait there when it's ready so nobody else takes it. i wasnt complaining or anything... but when he lectured me i just gave him that 'shut up and get back to work' look then turned around and left. the next 45 minutes or so was spent consumed by the longing for the lifestyle that haunted me in high school and in my first year or so of college. i must admit one thing is amazing though - it seems liek everytime i'm knocked out of perspective and want to do something i'll regret later, i always run into people i know, and just hearing them say hi to me helps me cool down. after jacking a soda and cruising around the dorm area restlessly on my scooter, i looked over the balcony behind sproul and guess what i saw on the side of the street - a MAYBACH 62. screw the omelette and wutever else bothered me... a few seconds later i was on my way running back to hedrick to grab my camera, and luckily the $350,000 car was still there when i returned. then as i was taking pictures, someone drove by in an Azure, so i got a good Combo shot. then i chased the Azure all the way down the hill but lost it at the end (and almost rear-ended an SUV), and on the way back up i shot a Maserati. not bad huh? all this happened ON CAMPUS. i walked around that Maybach admiring it for a really really long time. then went back to get my backpack and headed out to class.

got to SMB early to rehearse with kat again... professor le guin stuck to her word this time and let us go almost immediately when class began. as usual i became friggin nervous right before we started, so i did miss a few notes here and there. but it wasnt enough to mess up the performance, and overall it turned out well. leguin actually made us perform TWICE cuz she wanted to use it as an example in her lecture. not that it bothered me... but the grades she give better not disappoint me. oh and someone else that was supposed to present also got pushed forward to next week. she seriou5ly needs to learn some time management. whatever... at least i'm done so i wont complain anymore.

severin's class - its funny how kick back our whole class is right now... and i like how severin doesn't really bother grading me anymore since i get the same grade every week =). we had a bunch of stuff to play for him today, and i finished the first two (and he only amde me do half of what was required on each) and hes like 'ok you're done' =). why cant our final be that easy too? hehe...

random scooter party in the hallway before chorus... i ran into denise outside SMB so we went inside to chill... then she was playing with my scooter and eventually yejee came out n joined us, then the rest of the korean gang, along with robert & tim, came too... really random but really fun =)

catalyst was awesome even though i had to leave early to go to the undergrad composers recital. nice and short program.. and i mean REALLY short hehe. i left catalyst at 7:45 and made it back at 8:30 just before they finished.

spent the rest of the night reading & thinking. victoria came over to study, and i was glad to sacrifice my desk knowing that avoiding my computer makes me much more productive too. i sat on my bed with the three books that i've been reading recently - 'every young man's battle', '12 christian believes that drive you crazy', and the Bible. all three really good books hehe. then i thought about the music stuff that's been going on in my mind lately. i really believe God's about to show me something big... and im dying to find out what it is. ok, class is almost ending, so i should shut up, or at least pay som eattention hehe. bye!

05/17: so many things on my mind right now... so many important decisions to make. i'm seeing a very unstable financial future for myself in the coming weeks/months, and its really making me think about whether or not to get a 'real' job during the summer. theres gonna be several weeks scattered randomly throughout the summer when i'm gonna be gone though (more details on that later), so i dont know if i'll be able to get any job. and im not looking for particularly good pay or anything... it wouldnt hurt to gain some experience for the heck of it right? we'll see... i'll be praying about it, and i'll see what God decides for me.

this connects directly to another big decision i have to make - whether or not to invest a few thousand bucks in a keyboard this summer. and yes, it's gonna be a few thousand bucks... if im gonna buy it im gonna make sure its good and can last a long time. jacob has already hinted to me a long time ago that he's eventually gonna sell his keyboard before it loses its value, and i know i cant go on 'borrowing' it forever. through teaching a lot and not going out very often throughout this schoolyear, i've saved up a decent amount of money... but if summer is gonna be the way it looks right now, i doubt this plan will carry through. and by the way, when i say 'keyboard' i'm referring to the whole package - keyboard, amp, cables, pedals, stand, hard case, and whatever else i forgot to name. once again, this is God's choice, not mine. i pray that He shows me a clear sign of whether or not it's the right time for me to make this investment.

another issue stuck in my head - my thoughts on the whole 'racial reconciliation' thing that intervarsity has always emphasized, especially in this past week. i guess i see things a bit differently from most people, but i always felt like my concerns would cause trouble for everyone, since different fellowships simply have different focuses and its not necessarly true that one side is right and the other is wrong. i wont go into details now, but i actually just got a call from mike a few minutes ago, asking me how i felt about some of the decisions being made by the staff recently. i was sooo surprised... but i told him exactly how i felt. so that's off my mind now. we'll see what happens...

anyways, enough stuff to think about for now, so i'll take a break and write about the week. monday - sociology homework due, sociology quiz, theory midterm, piano lesson, dinner, worship practice. yea, thats about it. tuesday - tough day in class... you know the story. no need to repeat. today - having an hour of free time in my room before lunch definitely helped me to think things straight a little bit. went to ruby's recital, thanks to jennifer who gave me a ride =). i loved it, especially tina's chair-fell-off-stage-while-page-turning incident hehe.

...in light all the music-related issues that i have been going through recently, i cant help but mention the last thing stuck on my mind right now - my own role in Schoenberg and in the music world in general. my overall attitude has definitely changed a lot since i first got accepted to the department, and i believe God is at work once again preparing the way for a new revelation. all this time i've been waltzing through life, rejoicing over the fact that i found my passion but not putting the passion to much use, and now i have suddenly realized how sick i am of letting my life waste away without direction. but of course, writing out all my thoughts would take forever, so i'll save it for another entry after i have time to sort things out in my head.

oltbisu, USAC elections. some of my friends have mentioned the question of whether or not i voted yet, and my answer usually involves me trying very hard to keep my feelings from bursting. actually, this year things have been pretty good so far. for those who don't know, i'm referring to the way people bombard students walking to/from class to make them vote. i've always been strongly against this type of advertising, but compared to this event in particular, i'd gladly take flyers on bruinwalk any day. (to see my feelings summed up in a photo, see 5/12/04 entry). dont worry, i have NOTHING against any candidates, or against voting in particular. but i simply cant stand the ridiculous invasion of privacy that has taken place very year. sooo i set a goal for myself this year - to not let a single person approach me on campus with the attempt to make me vote. (exceptions include people i know, because i feel bad ignoring them. but even in those cases i try to brush off the conversation quickly and move on with my life). this includes intentionally walking big circles around people holding flyers or wearing usac-related clothes and stopping to make sure my paths are free from danger before i proceed. so far i've been doing really well, and i havent had a single person turn my direction, even though there were a few close calls. if im not mistaken, tomorrow is the last day to vote, meaning these few days are about as bad as it will get. so i'm gonna bring my scooter wtih me so when all else fails, i can speed past obstacles (or ram them if they intentionally get in my way). oh and i almost forgot, tomorrow morning is me and kat's performance in history class. i mean, its SUPPOSED to be our performance. 'in the beginning of class'. i'm not gonna have any expectations... just gonna show up early again, rehearse it just like we did on tuesday, and be ready to perform. i'm not even nervous about it anymore... it simply hurts too much. but i guess thats a good thing. im not even gonna think about it right now... its simply not worth stressing for. im jus gonna relax and go to sleep now. goodnight!

05/16: it was finally time for me and kat to perform in front of our history class. we got to SMB early to rehearse and make sure everything was ok... i sat in the back during class as usual, except i didnt do crossword puzzles or draw pictures like i usually did, since it simply didnt feel right messing around when i knew i was gonna be called up to perform at any moment. one hour passed... time for break... break was over... class was almost over... the professor le guin asks us in front of the whole class if we would mind performind thursday instead. u think we're gonna say no and leave a bad impression right before she grades us? heck no. its not like we had a choice. so yea... after almost two hours of anticipation, it all went to waste, and now this crap will be stuck in my mind for 48 more hours. wonderful huh? i heard the professor is a good performer herself... i wonder if shes ever played at any concerts that got postponed a few days minutes before it began. i know im probably just overreacting again... but seriou5ly it feels liek crap. and especially after an already crappy day of class yesterday, i was NOT ready for more. at this rate i'll literally go insane before i have time to think and sort things out. i remember God once told me that even though He promised to lead me in my journey as a music major, things are not always gonna be easy. i guess this is the beginning of a new story? theres actually something in being frustrated beyond control that i enjoy - the fact that being out of control gives God a chance to take control. i guess i'm ready to accept things the way it is. besides, how much worse can it possibly get? whatever... im sure i'll get over it if i give it some time. and to be honest, life's been pretty flat these past few months and its about time i let things get shaken up a bit. so God, jus keep writing your story, and eventually i'll come to realize once again that you always have the best plans for me...

05/15: i still remember back in high school when i would never have enough time to learn new piano music, so i would end up playing the same few pieces for years. havent felt that way in a long time... until today. turns out my new piece (copeland's passacaglia) isnt gonna be ready on time for the jury at the end of the quarter, which means i'll be playing only ginastera. yes i know i totally love that piece... but i feel like i just wasted 7 weeks learning the new piece. maybe i'll eventually continue working on it, but that wont be until next year, and by then i'd probably forget the whole thing anyways. (unless i take lessons over the summer, which at this point i'm really starting to consider). and of course, ruby (my teacher) was very nice about it and said its a difficult piece and she couldnt have mastered it in a quarter herself. but then why did she let me attempt it in the first place. i really think i could have done it... i just didnt practice enough. its just like high school when i would only practice a little but manage to convince my teacher through my improvement that i practiced a lot. i guess im just not putting my talent to good use. part of why i love piano so much is that i can always see myself improving. but now things are so flat and i dont really see it getting anywhere. i feel absolutely no motivation to work on ginastera, especially the specific tone-quality stuff that seems to be my problem on everything i play. i'm dying to figure out exactly wut im doing wrong and how to correct my problem, but time after time i still dont get it. after half an hour of sitting there and seeing no progress, i basically just gave up and started BSing my way through it so i could get out of there. oh and plus my lesson ended like half an hour late while people in hedrick were waiting patiently for me to get back for dinner. i appreciate getting additional time to learn, except i was so frustrated at doing teh same thing over and over again and still not getting it. i specifically made clear in the beginning of the quarter that i had to be back at hedrick at 5 (fine... translate: 5:15). and i dont like to constantly check the time and get distracted in the middle of class. one thing i totally respect about my sociology professor is that he gives himself a 5-minute warning bell and 'time to shut up' bell every day, and when it rings he literally stops in the middle of a sentence and lets us go. it really works, because not a single student starts packing up early when he is still lecturing, and we all know we dont have to wory about time. thats something every teacher should learn to do. so anyways, i told people not to wait for me for dinner anymore and pretty much ran all the way up to the dorm area, and by the time i got up the hill i realized even if i went to eat i would only have like 15 minutes before having to leave for worship team meeting. so why bother? so yea... i screwed dinner and just wandered around. i hate this feeling... i feel like crap and im so mad at everything... deep inside i feel the rising urge to go back to a lot of the things i used to do back in high school, and even in the beginning of college. but please, God... not this year. not in hedrick, the place i love so much and have kept so sacred. i've found my purpose and i want to live it out. yea yea i know, its just a stupid piano lesson and i'll get over it soon. but right now i feel like such a failure and simply dont want to face it. i dont even know wut im so mad about anymore. whatever... hopefully i'll get knocked back into perspective again soon. i'm already late to practice so i better start running...

05/14: happy mothers day! wait... do any moms actually read this? haha... owellz wutever. so this past weekend was pretty awesome. i had a half-hour break between two piano students, and decided to chill in fullerton near the place i was going to teach at. drove around a parking area of a random plaza... im pretty sure most carwatchers agree wtih me in that sometimes we all dream of having some sort of radar - sort of like a police detector - that will alert us when theres exotics around us. but i guess after being in the hobby for over a year, i've develped a bit of telepathy myself. as i drove around, i kept thinking 'viper' for some weird reason. went to one parking lot... it was empty. but i decided to go to a seocnd one just for the heck of it. and i see a row of parking spaces almost entire empty, with only one car - a viper. i love my life =).

didnt have to teach at night, so i got to hang out with rose! havent seen her in forever. we went to eat at this new asian "elementary school" place hehe... i love it! ohh and i ran into ryan and vanessa (from IV) in front of 99 ranch market. soo random! haha... after dinner me n rose walked around diamond plaza... as usual i had lots of fun checking out the stationery at life plaza, cracking up uncontrollably at the sight of the words printed on those notebooks. here's one example-

05/12: week 6 update. monday- breakfast at 7AM (!!) with anny and at 8 with bridget. seems crazy to wake up so early, but i actually felt more awake than usual, simply cuz it felt so different waking up at a different time than usual. piano lesson was moved to tuesday so i had the whole afternoon free. carwatching? nah... i had enough fun already the night before. and i was way too sore and blsitered to go on another trip. worship practice at night was awesome as usual =).

tuesday-graduate composers recital at night... really good but i was soo tired since i was on campus almost all day (except for dinner break). iva n tammy came too =). but they didnt stay the whole time. most people didnt stay the whole time... friggin music 15 hehe. j/k.. i guess most people just dont like this whole atonality thing. not that i'm a big fan of it myself...

wednesday-appointment with professor le guin after my sociology class. she was really nice about everything... i hope it will be the same when our performance gets graded hehe. me n kat will perform next tuesday, so dont miss class that day! =)

thursday-breakfast was my only meal, but special thanks to tracy, i had a pretzel and coffee for 'dinner'. severin let us out of class early and i had nothing to do so i randomly decided to go for a walk in... the botanical garden! i dont think i've been there yet this whole schoolyear. such an amazing place. not that i understand botany or anything... but simply being there feeling like i'm in the middle of a forest... i love it! at one point i just jumped and landed in a field of grass and laid there smiling. its such an amazing feeling. hehe... had an extended time of worship/praying after catalyst... then went to SMB to rehearse with kat. got back at like 11...

today-breakfast w/ yune n natalie! then went to class. then went home.. and now i'm here writing this thing before going to teach. so yea... i guess i'm done. bye!

05/10: i dont think i mentioned this before, but today was originally the planned date for Golden Triangle 10. however, as u probably knew, i made a last-minute decision to move the trip three days earlier because of a very very special event that took place on rodeo drive that afternoon. so yea... even though i'm technically supposed to be at the triangle right now, i dont feel bad at all for not going, since i already had my share of fun a few days ago. so instead i'm gonna use this time to write about the most incredible carwatching trip so far - the Gumball finish line.

so um... where should i begin? i filled up my SD400's entire 512MB card and put my spare camera to use too. this is about as exciting as carwatching can get. even right now i can close my eyes and hear those amazing high-revving engines roaring as the gumballers successfully crossed the finish line. unfortunately, many of the cars at the starting line in Europe didn't make it to beverly hills, mostly cuz the owners didn't ship them overseas and used different cars instead. stuff i didnt get to see (mostly because they're promo cars and not part of the actual event) - Farbound GTS, Ferrari 275GTB, Ferrari Dino, Ferrari Enzo, Ferrari F355, Lamborghini Diablo SV, Lamborghini LM002, Maserati MC12, Porsche Carrera GT, Porsche Cayenne Gemballa, Radical SR3, Renault Spider, TVR Sagaris. and of course, the "F1A5H" Lamborhini Murcielago Roadster that was totaled during the rally =/.

but before you get disappointed, lets look at it from the bright side. and i'm not even gonna bother trying to make a list of everything i saw, cuz it will take forever. and i'm eventually gonna do a trip log on the ECPG anyways. but the cars i saw in the rally include the following - Aston Martin DB9, Vanquish, Bentley Continental GT (lots of them), Continental Flying Spur, Turbo R, Delorean DMC12, Dodge Viper RT/10 gen2, Viper SRT/10 (x2), Ferrari 360 Modena, 360 Spider, 360 Challenge Stradale, 550 Maranello, 612 Scaglietti (x3), F430, F430 Spider, F40(!!!), F50(!!!), Ford GT, Lamborghini Gallardo (a lot of them), Lamborghini Murcielago (at least 5 or 6), Noble M12 GTO3R (!!!), M400 (!!!), Porsche 996 GT2, Rolls-Royce Phantom, Ultima GTR (!!!). and dont forget, when theres thousands of exotic car fanatics walking around rodeo drive, many of the local millionaires decided to take their rides out for a spin too. stuff i saw on the surrounding streets - Ferrari 550, Ferrari 512TR(!!!), Ford GT (x2), Lamborghini Murcielago, and many more. at one point there was a F355GTS, Porsche GT2, Rolls-Royce Phantom, Lambo Diablo VT, and Aston Vanquish S all at the same intersection. how much crazier can it get?

several people already want to kill me out of jealousy. but for those who have no idea what this whole gumball thing is all about, its time for you to be enlightened. gumball 3000 is an annual gathering of people who own unique cars and love to drive them. over a hundred cars (including many rare exotics) and their owners gather for a week-long rally which includes driving long distances, track events, night parties, and more. this year's event - "around the world in 8 days", involves driving through europe, asia, and america. having followed the rally on countless websites through articles, pictures, and videos, everything became reality to me at the end when i found myself standing at the finish line, which turned out to be conveniently located in beverly hills, watching the cars and drivers, which have already become celebrities to many of the spectators, arrive proudly at the end of their journey.

so here's a quick summary of the afternoon/evening - i arrived at around 2:50PM (the cars were scheduled to arrive at 4PM, though many websites estimated the early arrivals to come at 3), and by then about half a dozen cars have already arrived, including Polizei's Bentley and Torquestein's Ford GT (the two first place winners). there was already a decent sized crowd, and we all got to talk to the owners about their cars and abotu the rally. after a quick scooter ride around the Triangle, the huge "Gumball 3000 Finish Line" banner was hung across rodeo drive and police motorcycles were waiting at every corner of the closed-off street waiting to escort the gumballers as they arrive one by one. they arrived from every direction, but their paths werent hard to figure out, so i was able to catch pictures of most of the cars on the street before they actually entered the finish line.

having a scooter was a HUGE advantage, and i heard many comments from other spectators on how it was a pretty smart idea. sure it might have looked cheesy, but when it comes to being in a crowd of people dying to catch every moment of action in the two-block span of rodeo drive closed off for the finish line, the cheesiness is all worth it. and there was definitely more action than any single person could have caught in its entirety. cars were entering from both the north and the south sides, and are greeted by the crowds the moment their arrival is noticed. most owners proudly revved their engines, often so loud that it made everyone gasp. after parking their car, they would talk to us about the trip and about their car, and even pop the doors and hood open to give everyone a look.

one problem definitely bothered me though - because this is an organized event, should my 150+ photos be included in my catwatching gallery? exotic spotter is ok with it, and so is exotics on road. and i think i will be too =) . why? first of all, the stickers on the cars should not cause any bias, since they're simply sponsor decals applied to the cars by their owners. if one day you see a few millionaires driving their lamborghinis together to go to starbucks, does that count as a street sighting? of course. then why shouldnt a hundred millionaires driving across the world count? sure, rodeo drive was specially closed down for the event. but unlike a typical car show, these cars actually drive in spontaneouosly from the open streets and park to show off, then drive away again (to go to the hotel for the closing party). rodeo drive was simply a part of their commute. and besides, there was NO fencing used... we got to touch them all we wanted. isnt that good enough? but dont worry, pictures of gumball participants on the ECPG will be labeled accordingly, in case of any controversy.

so anyways... back to the show. the crowds eventually began to scatter, and the cars began to leave one by one to go to the party. however, the fun wasn't over. at least not for me. less crowds means even more freedom than i already had on my scooter. and because the actual driving part of the rally was not synchronized, everyone arrived at very differnet times. i was literally the LAST spectator left - the police were already gone, all the banners were removed, and the streets were already reopened. that extra wait was worth it though, cuz i was the only spectator present when the gallardo spyder and diablo roadster arrived =). by the time i left beverly hills it was almost 8 already.

i think this entry is definitely long enogh the way it is. and in case you were expecting pictures, i'm not gonna bother posting anything here cuz it will take FOREVER. they're all gonna be on the ECPG anyways. and my video clips are already on YouTube. just search 'gumball 3000 beverly hills' and most of the ones you see will be mine. its funny how if you search any photo gallery on the gumball finish line, theres a good chance you'll see me in it, since having a scooter made me almost omnipresent at the rally, and i literally followed some of the cars down the street to get good pictures without people in my way. i wonder if i'll be in the official gumball video too. maybe i should buy it when it comes out hehe. ohh and they gave me a free sticker too =). so anyways... i'm gonna shut up now and go work on the ecpg pictures. hope to have that up soon. for now, you can download them from me on AIM if you want. ok, thats all. byebye!

05/06: Gumball 3000. a name very familiar among carwatchers. once a year the Gumballers gather and drive for days through ordinary streets filled with spectators. over a hundred cars - Murcielago, Enzo, MC12, Morgan, Diablo, Carrera GT, SLR McLaren, F40, F50, just to name a few - have been participating in this year's rally - "Around the World in 8 Days" - entertaining countless fans lined up along the streets. The rally began in Europe, went through Asia, and will finish in America. so why am i saying all this? it turns out the cars will cross the finish line tomorrow afternoon on Rodeo Drive. and special thanks to my kind mom, i might have a ride back to school just in time. i wont make any promises yet, but right now i'm already charging up BOTH of my cameras believing neither one will have enough batteries to do the job alone. if everything goes as planned, tomorrow will be one of the best days of my life. GOLDEN TRIANGLE 10 - GUMBALL 3000.

05/05: week five. monday- even in the midst of going insane over my three history (midterm) essays, i managed to get a comment from ruby that i practiced piano hard this week. pHeW... hehe... worhip team meeting after dinner, then back to work on essays, which i actually finished earlier than planned =)

tuesday- classes all day... owned dwaynes midterm =). the set class ID stuff isnt all that bad after all hehe. not that i'm gonna agree to accept set theory as real music... but anyways, made it back on time for dinner, then chilled in my room at night. went to rieber for tea party w/ dianne & gang! lots of fun as usual =).

wednesday- two hours of set theory "music" analysis with NO break. what da heck... i was going crazy at the end. atonal music is cool to an extent, but the depth we're getting into in class pushes it way too far and it's simply not music anymore. i think i'm gonna take on reesa's "spaghetti" method for this weeks composition homework hehe. all that atonality prompted me to escape from life and take a walk on sunset, which didnt really help at all. i spent over an hour, and saw practically nothing. one interesting sighting - the new jaguar XK coupe. took a pic too, but its not exactly exotic so im not sure wut to do with it. give it another month, and this car will be as popular as a camry on sunset blvd. got back to hedrick in time for "floor dinner". at least thats wut i still call it =). diana and julia joined us this time too! went to smallgroup afterwards, gave out free cookies in hedrick summit and on our floor.

thursday- took my scooter to class today. couple tips for pedestrian safety on bruinwalk - when you hear a bike/board/scooter approaching from behind, do not freeze and jump aside right before it passes you. most people who go to class on wheels aren't stupid; they only go fast when there's enough room to pass. but if you jump in their way right before they pass you, chances are they wont have enough time to dodge you and they're end up using you as their brake. another good tip - dont walk backwards. isnt that kinda self explanatory? apparently some people really dont get it. but i've seen/experienced it several times. person A is traveling on wheels very fast. person B stands clear of person A's path having a conversation on the phone or with a friend. person A gets closer to person B. person B suddenly finishes the conversation and starts walking backwards. *BAM*. person B becomes person A's brake. not a pretty picture. anywayssss why am i writing about this ? hehe... got out of chorus early today so i made it back for dinner with victoria & gang at covel. then went to catalyst, followed by practicing some opera song with kat at smb. we're gonna be performing in class in week 7 =). its gonn abe so awesome. but i need to practice sooo much =/. went to sproul afterwardsd to visit random pplz... talked with liz for a long time =). lotsa people werent around but i left messages. hope u guys get them! hehe...

today - woke up, breakfast, and class. i'm in class right now hehe... its so awesome having sociology in the computer lab. its like high school all over again - listening to the teacher and going online at the same time. (how did you think i had so much free time to research for my exotic car ID guide? hehe). only problem is that our next class meeting (monday) happens to be the MIDTERM. so i should pay more attention huh? ok, i'll shut up now. bye!