08/29: after a week of nonstop fun, it seems like everyone around me has suddenly become more productive than i am. for me, i'm gonna try to wake up earlier and stop lounging around doing nothing when i have plenty to do. got up before 9 today, and practiced an hour and a half of piano before 11:30 (thats when i allow myself to turn on the computer). i felt soo good about myself =). other stuff i need to do - email China people, finish that entry that i'm STILL putting off (=/), make some music, learn the last movement of the Sonata (#7), sign up for classes (about time huh?), write letters, and much more. ohh and i need to post pictures online. there's a LOT of them - probably around 200, if not more. but i'm still waiting to get pics from a few people (i'll hunt u down =) ) before posting them.

speaking of pictures, i just realized it's almost time to archive the July-August entries and there isn't a single picture on the main page! so its time for me to post some =). lets start with these -

08/28: even though the line between the 4th and 5th quintiles of my summer are quite blurry, i think it's pretty safe to call this a transition point. most high schools start school today. some college people are getting ready to leave, and people studying abroad are also getting ready to leave. my mom's class started, so i'll be spending my weekdays helping her (so if u wanna play during the day let me know early). hanging out with Anny last week and talking to Lisa online last night made me realize how long it's been since school ended. everytime i open up that humongous poster, it still fills me with wonder. but as the 2-North story becomes more and more like a story of the past, it's time to shift my attention to the upcoming schoolyear, which is (for UCLA) already less than a month away.

for the most part, i'm referring to those who are living in Hedrick next year who are part of the IV community. most of us are already very close after spending a year together. we have all gone our own ways during the summer, whether it's attenting Summer Conference, living and serving at Catalina, interning in Washington D.C., going on missions in China, taking summer classes, or just chilling at home. God has undoubtedly taught us something and changed our lives this summer, and our stories are soon going to unite as we prepare to spend the next schoolyear together. we we seek God's wisdom for the schoolyear, let's not forget to pray for one another, that we will have hearts that seek not only to have fun, make friends, and do "ministry", but to live lives of love and worship on a daily basis. also pray for the community floor (5N) and the rest of Hedrick, that people, regardless of year, major, race, or anything else, will have hearts ready to receive God's love. i know it's gonna be an amazing year and i'm looking forward to it already. can't wait to see you guys again! =)

08/27: SNU time... it's been an amazing weekend so far. continuing from Friday afternoon - went back to Cinda's to print out her essay before class. went to class with her cuz Ken had to work super late... meanwhile i gave myself a campus tour. so now i basically know my way around the big circle. everything else still confuses me though =/. went back to Ken's n chilled there, then Cinda n Sue came to join us. got BOBA @ Lollicup, then went to 99 Ranch and Albertsons to buy stuff for dinner. we ended up taking a bunch of pictures at 99 Ranch. soo random! but it was fun =). went back to Ken's for a BBQ dinner! they have this awesome BBQ grille area at the apartment so we got to use it... too bad that stupid 'lantern' is for decoration only and doesn't actually turn on. thats so stupid. but owellz.. . Cinda n Sue made riceballs =). Ken taught me a lot of the BBQ stuff... i still suck at it but im getting better. the food was soo good! Cindy also came to join us. yep, Cinda and Cindy. soo confusing! *dizzy* cleaned up afterwards, took a group picture =), then got ready to go to Seal Beach. and the best part? everybody decided to go! =). Ken happened to park his new tC right next to a whole row of suped-up Scions cuz it was some kind of club meeting, and the guy came n talked to him right away hehe. too bad its a leased car. met with our moms and all the other ah-yees and shru-shrus from their cellgroup and went down to the beach to wait for grunions. meanwhile me Cinda Cindy n Sue took a walk down the huuuge pier. saw people fishing... .one guy caught soo many fish! took 9089035854 pictures =). went back to the beach - still no grunions. Catherine Jennifer n Stephenie were also there... havent seen them in forever! everybody got to meet each other and took a grou pic =). then the Irvine gang left cuz it was getting late... me Jennifer n Stephenie walked around the beach, and suddenly i saw this little silver thingy flopping into the ocean - a Grunion!!! i would have jumped on it and grabbed it but it's not worth getting my phone, camera, wallet, and flashlight all soaked so i just reached down to grab it. had it in my hand for a moment, then it slipped away and disappeared forever =/. that was the only grunion any of us came close to. Stephenie said she saw some ealrlier even though nobody else did, but after seeing one myself i can believe her =). at the end we all gave up n went home anyways... it was like 1:30 in the morning and i was sooooooooo tired. i never feel that tired when i'm having fun, but at the end when it's all over, the need for sleep totally kicks in. and thats exactly wut i did at like 3AM after i got home and showered...

Saturday - after recovering from lack of sleep, i decided to go watch GCCI's basketball championship game. haven't gone to any of the games and since it's the last one i figured i should go. and it was 5 minutes away. too bad we lost =/. but owellz... good job guys! (and girl) =). chilled in the afternoon, then went to the GCCI Hoe-Down! it was soo much fun. how often do u get to see a bunch of Asians act like cowboys!? haha... we had chickens, square-dancing ... yes, square dancing. it was relaly really fun. even though we were sooo hungry. but that makes dinner taste even better. the program went really really overtime and half the people were gone already when it ended, but its ok. i was soo friggin tired. came home, showered, talked on phone (=D), went to sleep...

Today - got to church at 9 for worship with Garland's team. the little rap improv sessions before/after service were awesome! so was the rest of service hehe. didn't get community lunch cuz they ran out of rice so i went home n had a cup noodles. practiced lots of piano then went to piano lesson in the evening. short lesson this time, but still learned soo much. i'll finish the whole Sonata by next week and hopefully have enough time to work on details. that's about it for now. starting tomorrow my mom's schooltime class is starting so i'll be home helping out during the day. if anyone wants to hang out, i'm free at night (or in the day with early notice). dont forget, i still have a month of summer left =).

08/25: this is a very very special entry; its not everyday i get to update this thing sitting at a park next to a lake. i love wireless internet =). i'm actually in Irvine right now. yupp... went there again. hehe.. Cinda's sitting next to me working on her essay thats due in less than two hours, so i brought my laptop too. anyways, life after the camping trip has been just as eventful as the trip itself. here's the update-

Wednesday- San Gabriel & Pasadena area trip! basically it started last week when Anny wanted to hang out and i told her i would visit on Wednesday. then i was on the phone with Hannah and realized she only lived about 10-15 minutes away, so i said i would visit her too. also mom needed to get her copy machine fixed in San Gabriel so i brought it there for her. i would have asked much more people in the area to hang out, but it was pretty last minute so i didn't get to reach everyone. and i didn't get to plan anything out until late Tuesday night when i got home from Mammoth. after catching up on some sleep, i went to San Gabriel in the afternoon, dropped off the copier and got ice cream with Anny. it felt like sooo long since i've seen her cuz we used to eat together with 2N like every day. went back to her house n sat around n talked. met the huuuuuge family that lives in her house. i still have trouble remembering everyone =/. went to the mall with Anny n her cousin Nancy. chilled until they had to leave, then i waited a little until Hannah came to meet me there. walked around the mall a bit then left for dinner. i totally forgot where i parked (usually i'm never left at an unfamiliar mall by myself), so i had to call Anny n ask where we parked earlier. thats the first stupid thing i did. we went to eat at some Japanese restaurant (i can never remember the names... so confusing!). Hannah saw someone she knew at the parking lot so i opened the windows halfway, and when i was parking i totally forgot it wasnt completely open so i turned around and banged my eye on the window. second stupid thing. luckily that's as bas as it got. but yea.. dinner was awesome. Hannah goes there so often that the waitress already knows her. she thought i was 16 years old. haha... got awesome teriyaki & tempura, ate a LOT of rice =), n talked about lots of stuff. its my first time hanging out with Hannah since we met, so we had plenty to talk about. went to her house afterwards. we wanted to play DDR but we were sooo full so we played music first. they have a really cool antique piano. got to talk a little with her mom too. she still remembers me =). then played a little DDR... i didnt stay too long cuz Hannah had school the next day (so early!). i was gonna leave but there was a huge SPIDER outside the door. after getting rid of it (thanks Hannah =) ), we went outside n talked some more, then i left to go home.

Thursday - woke up at 9AM and decided to actually get up and be productive. practiced piano and got some other work done, then went to teach in the afternoon. then time for more fun. rewind back a couple days - Ken had to come back from UCI for basketball practice Tuesday evening, and he was gonna bring Cinda so we could all hang out, but i couldnt give them a yes or no cuz i was still at Mammoth and didnt have control over when we were gonna be home. the whole visit to Rainbow Falls and Devil's Postpile that morning was a last-minute decision, and took much much longer than expected, so i knew i wouldn't make it back on time. even though i didnt expect to be home early enough to hang out, i still felt kinda bad, so during the car ride home i started thinking of ideas, and came up with a pretty good one. i didn't say anything though, except Ken happened to call me and bring up the exact same idea, so i knew i had to stick with it =). the idea - go back to UCI with Ken after he comes back for basketball again on Thursday and stay overnight, then go wiht Cinda to meet with my mom's cellgroup at the grunion run at Seal Beach (since she wanted to go too) and go home from there. pretty elaborate plan, especially for such a last minute decision. but fortunately it actually happened. so after i finished teaching, Ken came from UCI for basketball and brought Cinda. saw Ken's new Scion for the first time. Ben saw it and asked to drive it right away hehe. we sat at the park next to Suzanne for a while, then when practice started i took Cinda to the mall for some shopping. stopped at Krispy Kreme for a donut - yes, Cinda bought a donut!! i have a picture for evidence hehe. its her first time in the area (besides visiting me last time, but that was late at night) so she finally got to see the mall n shop. tried on like 30985084395 things (hehe) and bought two shirts. when Ken finished practice we met him for dinner at The Boat, conveniently located in Diamond Plaza =). afterwards we walked around n looked at the stores. stayed in Life Plaza (the Asian store hehe) for a long time. too bad Cinda can't afford any of the Jay Chou CDs. but it gives her a reason to come back again =). got boba @ Lollicup afterwards. they were just about to close so we got the last of their remaining boba. went to my house so i could pack my stuff, then left for UCI. stopped by Lee's, then took Cinda home, then went to Ken's place to spend the night. after a few days of camping, using a sleeping bag on carpet leaves me with no complaints =).

Today (so far) - spent the whole day so far with Cinda. i wonder if she's sick of me yet. woke up with Ken at 7:30 cuz he had to go to work. i was friggin tired cuz we both stayed up really late last night, but as usual it's easy for me to get up for a day that i look forward to. called Cinda and she came over to pick me up. its soo awe(r)some that we both love driving with windows down. and its great to find someone who loves blasting loud music (techno!) but is respectful enough to turn it down at red lights so i dont feel ashamed of being in the car. (trust me, it's happened way too many times before). we brought our laptops so she could work on her essay and i could have something to do too. went outside Cha to find wirelss internet but it didnt work, so we went to the UCI library. ran into Elaine while walking to campus. it's so weird that EVERY time we visit each other's schools we always unintentionally run into each other. she had two midterms today (good luck!) so we didn't talk too long. i don't have on-campus connection in the library, but being offline helped me to get a LOT of stuff done on my computer. we worked while listening to Jay Chou =). went back to Cinda's place cuz our batteries were dying. continued working n chilling. then went to get Hawaiiian BBQ for lunch. saw something amazing in the parking lot and fortunately shot it. more on that later, but i'll give you three hints. 1) it's exotic. 2) it's Japanese. 3) it's NOT fake. yupyup... i'll post pics when i upload them. anyways, brought the food to the park, found a nice place to sit and ate there. i love the view of the lake. the ducks are sooo viscious! they were like attacking each other earlier and they were so loud! too bad they dont get any of our yummy Katsu Chicken =).

so yea... that brings the story up to the present. we're gona chill here until Cinda has to go to class, then i'll hang out with Ken when he's out of work and we'll all meet up again for dinner, then head out to Seal Beach. it's gonna be soo much fun. i hope those grunions actualyl come out tonight. anyways, that's all for now so i'll shut up. bye!

08/23: sooooo much stuff to write about. first of all, the camping trip was awesome. thanks to the Yin family for planning it and inviting us to join them. got back pretty late last night and still had stuff to do (i'll write about it later) so didnt get to update until now (wednesday night). but anyways, heres the summary of the trip -

Sunday- woke up at 6AM(!) to get ready to leave. met at the Yins' house n left from there. drove for six hours up north... mom and i took turns driving our van. traffic was excellent so we actually got to Mammoth Lakes earlier than expected (2:30ish). lunched @ Carls Jr, then went to check out our campsite. its my first time camping, so the whole setting-up-a-tent thing was new to me. took a lot of work but it was fun. then went to the nearby inn to get a room for those (less adventurous ones) who decided not to sleep in the tent hehe. met back at the campsite for dinner - an awesome camp dinner complete with BBQ, beer, and a bonfire. went to shower at the inn, then the campers (me, Uncle Samuel, Ivy, Esther) went to sleep. it was pitch black out there... soo fun! sat at the fire n chilled (warmed?) for a while, then went to sleep.

Monday- woke up at 6AM(!!) to go fishing. we had attempted a little fishing at the creek but didnt catch (or even see) anything. met with everyone at the hotel, had a quick breakfast @ Starbucks, then went to fish @ Lake Sabrina. the place was sooo beautiful, so as expected i took dozens (literally) of pics, hoping at least one would turn out well enough to add to my wallpapers section. hiked halfway around the lake and found a nice fishing spot, but ended up failing miserably. at the end all three of our poles were either broken or hookless, and we decided to leave n have lunch instead. then we get back to the parking lot and see that soo many people were finishg there and caught soo much fish. dangit. owellz... lunched @ Denny's (in Bishop), then went to Mono Lake. checked out those tufa rock thingys. again, took a million pictures. hiked to the lake and back. then went to chill at the hotel room. showered there first, then went to the campsite for dinner. everyone stayed at the bonfire afterwards n had smores. drove out to the middle of nowhere and looked at stars. it was sooooo amazing. didnt see any shooting stars though, but still i loved it. oh and we didnt see any bears either. i actualyl kinda wanted to see one hehe. but anyways...

Tuesday- woke up at 6AM(!!!!!!!) to start packing up and putting away the tent. then had breakfast before leaving the campsite. we decided to swing by Devil's Postpile before leaving, since it's right by our campsite. we got lost though so it took a while... turns out we had to take some shuttle thing to go up that mountain. it took a pretty long time but it was totally worth it. went to Rainbow Falls then Devil's Postpile. that was one heck of a long hike, but all the scenery made up for it. me Carol n Esther went to the top of the Postpile too. again, took a million pictures. hope they turned out well. had a very late (3PM?) lunch at KFC back in Mammoth, then headed out to go home. we left a LOT later than expected, but at least it helped us avoid traffic. got home after 10. sooooo friggin tired, but i still had plenty to work on for the next day (today). why? its all kind of last minute so i didnt get to do much planning until last night, but today was my second "area trip" this summer - San Gabriel & Pasadena! thats why i waited til night to write this update. and since its already late and the rest of this week isn't any less eventful than the past few days, i'll save the update for tomorrow. for now, goodnight!

08/19: finally had my piano lesson today! it was like two hours long... didnt feel nearly that long though, and i didn't even do the 3rd movement of the sonata (cuz i didnt feel quite ready) and barely spent any time on teh Copland. but yea.. learned a LOT today. too bad i dont have much time to practice this week. why not? havent realy mentioned much about this, but tomorrow morning we're going camping at Mammoth with the Yin family! i dont know wut we're gonna do but i know its gonna be fun. we'll be there til tuesday, but since its a 6 hour drive i really dont know when we're gonna be back. and i'm not sure if i have reception in the mountains, so no promises if i can answer phone calls. but its only 3 days, so nothing to worry about. for now, im gonna go pack. bye!

08/17: SOLD Reunion BBQ went really well... thanks everyone who came. it was soo much fun. special thanks to mom n Carol for helping with preparation work, Juliann for helping contact everyone, and everybody who helped with making the BBQ or pitched in to cover the costs. we chilled outside n ate n talked n laughed like crazy - just like we used to! then came inside n played Taboo until everyone had to leave. so guess who gets to eat leftover BBQ for the rest of the week? hehe... feel free to come n have some if u want =).

today's been pretty weird - didnt do much except teach and sit at the computer. ohh and talked on the phone =). Carol got me a boba. thanks!! spent most of the day writing stuff about China. im finally motivated enough to stop procrastinating, and hope to have it done in the next couple days. and i practiced a lot of piano today. learned movements 2 and 3 of the sonata in two days. might not seem like a big deal, but at my sight reading level that's insane progress. my goal is to learn the entire sonata by the end of next week (two lessons from now). theres not much time left, so i better make good use of every day i have to practice.

08/15: pretty busy week so far, mostly at home cleaning the backyard. my back is finally almost recovered. yesterday morning it was all bumpy and weird. i felt like i was turning into a toad =/. but now its all good. so why clean the backyard? tomorrow night is the second (annual?) SOLD Reunion!! i know so many of us have been wanting to get together in the summer but nobody bothered initiating, so the whole thing was kind of a last minute plan. and amazingly enough, it worked! and almost everyone seems to be able to make it. for those who didnt get the info, its 6:30PM at my house tomorrow. just like last year we're gonna have a BBQ dinner, then just chill and do wtueverz. bring games n stuff if u want. these past few days ahve been a bit too quiet - i feel like i spend too much time online. you guys know i'm not a big fan of chatting online - it always seems like theres so many people that i want to have a good conversation with, but at the same time theres so much going on that its impossible to do so. on the other hand, last week i got a new phone (same #), and a beautiful leather case for it that i got for under $5 (including shipping). i love eBay =). but yea... haven't really got to use it as much as i want to. i hope that will change. even better, i wouldnt mind actually seeing people in person. thats why i'm excited about tomorrow. plus most of these people are friends i havent seen (or talked to?) in a very very long time. its gonna be lots of fun. ok, thats all, goodnight!

08/13: another SNU for another awesome weekend. Saturday actually started pretty crappy. first of all, my sunburned back that gave me a 24-7 "massage" reached the recovery phase, meaning it started itching like crazy. so i pretty much couldnt sleep the entire night, until i was so tired that i ignored my body entirely and slept mentally while moving around physically. then 5 minutes before leaving for piano i found out my lesson's cancelled. that REALLY sucked, cuz i've been looking forward to this lesson for several weeks. but at least i eventually got hold of a recording of my new piece (Beethoven Sonata #7) so its much easier to learn it now. Ken came over in the afternoon i picked me up for our road trip. had to make a detour and also hit a little traffic so we were a bit late, but its ok. carhunting wasnt too bad... got a few good pics and i'll post a log and the pics on the ECPG and Car-Parazzi when i have time. visited Cinda at the donut shop... she's so lucky to work there! but then again if i work there i'll get fired for ditching customers to chase cars all the time. the donuts were soo good! =) went to chill @ Cinda's for a while, then me n Ken went out for a drive around PV. you know, the usual area hehe. met up with Cinda again and got dinner at some Japanese restaurant. gosh, Ken and his Japanese food haha. it was really good though =). i love eating food thats cooked right in front of me. went to the mall afterwards, met with Tida after she got out of work and got boba. its so sad that in Rowland Heights i can get two (or three) bobas for the price of one there. went to the park afterwards... i went inside the huge rocketship =). it was sooo cold! and i was drinking what was left of my boba - ICE. so smart =/. then went to the cliff that me n Ken always go to. chilled for a while, listened to the ocean =). then dropped off Cinda n Tida and went home.

today - had donuts for breakfast =). yumm... went to church at 9, practiced for worship with Ernest and Daniel. my amp wouldn't shut up (it kept buzzing) and it was soo annoying... i hope it wasnt too loud in teh congregation. lunched with Ken Grace Esther Ally Baldwin Jason Bobby n Mayer. it was originally just me Ken n Grace, then Esther appeared so we pulled her in, and Baldwin & gang joined us too. then while waiting for a seat at Banana Bay Esther decided to call Ally and she came too. i took one boba from her with a regular straw and it got stuck =/. haha... fried rice was sooo good. made it home just on time to get ready for Harvest. went with Grace Tiffany n Alex... Ken couldn't make it cuz he had stuff to do. we got there at the perfect time... parked at the exact same spot as Friday =). there were a LOT more people though. its MercyMe and the Newsboys, so go figure hehe. seats weren't as good as Friday's, but still very good and worth the wait. we played Big2 while waiting. then it all started... this is about as amazing as it can get. i absolutely LOVE seeing MercyMe live (this is my 3rd time seeing them i think)... especially their slow piano & vocal sections. of course, they did "I can only imagine". amazing song. then Newsboys came up... everyone went wild. the highlight of the night for me was when they did "Shine". thats like... one of the most famous Christian rock songs ever written. can't believe i got to experience it live. and the Australian accent was defnintley cool too =) . Greg Laurie gave a great message about the end of the world. traffic was much worse than Friday, but we still got out pretty fast. for those who wanted to go but missed it, i think it's gonna be on TV August 25 nd 26. check theri website (or ask me, i think its on the flyer) for times n stuff.

i know a lot of people are pretty against the idea of Christians taking up space in evangelical events. i agree to an extent, but sometimes i think we all need to soften up and not think we're "better" than the nonbelievers. i've heard over half a dozen evangelistic sermons from Greg Laurie, and somehow it never gets old. sometimes as Christians we focus too much on church issues, Bible knowlege, and even evangelism, that we forget we need God's love just as much as everyone else does. there are so many basic truths about God that we need to be reminded of time after time, and hearing messages like tonight's really pulls me back to the essence of what it means to be a Christian. and what about treating the bands as celebrities rather than worship leaders? sometimes fanaticism definitely goes too far. but sometimes being famous brings respect. when MercyMe and the Newsboys tell the crowd to stand, clap, or sing, everyone does it. it doesnt always happen at church! and i know for sure that even though i was enjoying the music from a technical (and slightly fanatic) point of view, i know for sure that God's presence was there. their fame is well-deserved, and it is clear God is using them for His glory.

anyways, now i'm back at home and really tired after a busy weekend. the next couple of days will be spent cleaning the house and preparing for the big party Wednesday night. more details on that later. goodnight!

08/12: just got back from Harvest Crusade... had an awesome time =). thanx everyone for coming. first let me rewind to last night - went to hang out with Rose for the first time in soooo long cuz we were both busy n stuff. so weird that she drives now so i dun have to give her a ride hehe. we went to TenRens n got drinks. i got boba of course =). talked til they were closing, then talked more outside. soo much fun. ohh and thanks Rose for the little gift =). got home at like 12:30ish after a trip to the hilltop. its amazing that ever since i came back from China i've only been up there about twice. i guess i just didn't have a need to escape as much as i did before. China definitely changed me a lot, and i'll describe it more in my China reflections entry which i'm STILL working on. haha... anyways, today was awesome too. after so many conversations with Mike, i'm starting to feel more and more desperate to feed my starving camera. a Modena on Tuesday was great, and an F430 today made it even better. and it shouldnt be surprisng that both were at Hing Wa Lee Plaza. and i was there today cuz i was on my way to Lollicup for lunch. yup, boba. again. hehe, fast forward a couple hours, and i'm getting ready for Harvest Crusade. the whole get-there-ASAP process was much smoother than i thought. Ken went super early (liek at 4?) to save a spot in line n to avoid traffic. and he found $5 parking for both of us =). i picked up Grace then went home n Steph(Lin) was already there cuz she got out of work early. and she brought me a boba! yes, THREE bobas in less than 24 hours. i love my life =). haha anyways, then we went to the stadium. got in line with Ken (thanx for saving the spot!), and ended up with awesome seats just like last year. actually i think its the exact same row =). Cissy n her friend Daniel came to join us too. as usual, amazing music and awesome sermon. saw Joy Williams, Todd Agnew, and Crystal Lewis. Steph was soooo in love with Todd Agnew's violinist. and i was totally fascinated by the sound system and keyboard (Triton!). i guess after coming back from China, seeing a 24-piece speaker cluster is simply too good to be true. hehe... anyways, getting out of the stadium was easy too, thanx to awesome parking spots and leaving right when it ended so we beat the traffic rush. Steph n Ken came over n chilled a bit afterwards. and now i'm back in front of the computer updating my homepage. tomorrows gonna be lots of fun. piano lesson in the morning (yes its fun! haha), then Ken's coming and we're gonna going to Palos Verdes / Redondo Beach / wherever we end up. yupyup... going there one more time before he leaves for Japan. and we're gonna visit Cinda too! its gonna be soo fun, i cant wait! =). but to have a fun day i need to rest well first, so im gonna go sleep soon. goodnight!

08/10: sent Carol to school yesterday n today morning, so since i had to get up early and i dont like sitting at the computer in the morning, i decided to be productive =). did some painting in the backyard yesterday - remember that old gazebo? i stopped talking about it after last summer cuz i was too lazy to finish the work, but a year later i finally got to it. didn't turn out too bad =). spending the morning outside gave me a good chance to get a tan so i can stop complaining about my whiteness. except i didnt realize the whole morning only my back was facing the sun, so i got sunburned like crazy. my whole back from shoulders to waist is all bright red. kinda scary to look at. but better than being too white =). and i actually slept well last night cuz the pain kinda served as a massage. iono how it works but it did. Harvest Crusades start tomorrow. i cant believe it... the week passed by sooo fast. but yea... there's still a few seats in my car for tomorrow (Friday) if anyone wants to come (see previous entry for details). i cant wait! =). going out to hang out with Rose right now... maybe getting boba? iono... but yea, i g2g now bye!

08/07: finally, its that time of the year again - HARVEST CRUSADES are this weekend! for those who don't know, its a series of three nightly evangelical events featuring famous Christian bands and a message from Greg Laurie. the event is FREE, except $10 parking. that's why i try to work out carpooling. as usual, its an open invite to whoever wants to come. i'm going Friday and Sunday only, since i have plans on Saturday already. here's the schedule for each night-

*FRIDAY: (Crystal Lewis, Todd Agnew, Joy Williams). Gates open at 5:30PM. Event begins at 7:00PM. i'm driving from my house at 4:30PM. options for dinner: (1) bring your own food. (2) eat while waiting in line, if someone's willing to walk n get food. (3) eat in the stadium while waiting for the event to start. (4) eat afterwards around home so people who need to go home can go first. the event should end no later than 9:30 (based on previous year's experiences) even though it takes a while to exit the stadium.
*SATURDAY: (David Crowder, Kutless, Hawk Nelson). Same times as Friday. i'm not going though =/
*SUNDAY: (Newsboys, MercyMe). Gates open at 4:30PM. Event begins at 7:00PM. i'm driving from my house at 3:00PM. i'm probably gonna grab a lunch (hopefully somewhere cheap =) ) after church so if you want you can join and come hang out early. dinner will probably be just like Friday.

for those who i haven't explained to yet: i go early to get in line first, and the time i decide to leave home might seem ridiculous but its definitely not too early (based on previous experience). if you're going with me, PLEASE BE ON TIME. in fact, come earlier and chill if u want. if you want to go later or have your own ride but still want to sit together, let me know and i don't mind saving you a spot in line or seats in the stadium. but don't be too late cuz eventually the ushers will stop allowing people to save seats, and when that happens i'm gonna do as they say. once the program starts my phone will be off so you won't be able to find me if u didn't do so already. i hate to sound so mean, but its the only way to make people cooperate.

with all that said, i'm giving rides on a first come first serve basis. actually its more of a first-to-let-me-know first serve basis =). so tell me if you're coming! every year its so much fun having a bunch of people talking while waiting or sitting together, and i hope this year will be no exception. more details about Harvest on www.harvest.org. hope to see you this weekend! =)

08/07: its not even 5 yet and i'm already home =). my group didn't get called so i'm off the hook. pretty much just sat around the assembly room all day reading magazines. they had Autoweek and Motor Trend, so i wasn't bored at all. its weird sitting in a courthouse without that feeling of potentially being guilty, even though it's pretty nervewrecking each time they start calling peoples names to assign them to different judges. we're technically supposed to wait there til 4 or 5, but at like 2:30 they told us there wont be any new cases today so we're all dismissed and we dont have to come back tomorrow. which means my schedule doesn't get messed up in any way at all, since i had no plans for today anyways. now that the x-factor is taken care of, i can start figuring out stuff for the rest of summer. Harvest details should be up by tonight. if you wanna come and havent told me, let me know! =)

08/06: SNU time =). it's been a very very eventful few days. first of all, pictures from Wednesday night (and one pic from Friday under Misc. pics) are already posted if you wanted to see them but havent seen them yet. the ECPG is finally updated again, thanks to a new account doubling my storage space (it's not part of this .net server). thats pretty much what i did on Thursday. Thursday night was the "recital" for my composition class. it was only really like 15 minutes long so its basically an end-of-the-class party, with lots of food n everything. lots more people came than i thought, including people who want to learn theory from me when school starts. there was just enough jello for everyone =). as for this month, my teaching schedule is very chill, since half of California is in Asia right now. its nice to have so much free time, but not nice that everything i do to fill up that free time will probably end up costing the money i didn't even earn in the first place. either way, i hope the rest of summer4 can be as eventful as possible, and so far it definitely already is.

Friday: had lunch with Elaine. didn't really get to hang out with her since we first met at Catalina forever ago, except the couple times when she appeared at UCLA (without telling me! =/ ) and ran into me at BruinCafe. of course, what better way for us to bond than mango shaved ice? actually we had lunch at TenRen's first, then since they didn't have shaved ice we went to Life Plaza. i've only had their cheaper "assorted" shaved ice, not the fruit (mango or strawberry) ones... but even though its like 6 bucks i don't regret it at all. that thing is amazing... and HUGE. go look at the pic under misc. pics and see for yourself. we were so lucky we ordered one and shared it. and Elaine cheated and dug the pudding out of the bottom when we didn't even get there yet hehe... went with mom & Carol to pick up cousin Alice from the airport at night. we haven't seen her since we came to America, so its been like 13 years. she's studying at UC Berkeley over the summer, so she came down to spend the weekend with us. we got home n chilled n talked, and she sang while i played Jay Chou on the piano =).

Saturday: this was where the bulk of the "eventfulness" happened. since Alice only had one full day to spend with us, we made the best out of it. went to Rose Hills in the morning (my dad is her uncle), then went to *drumroll* Disneyland! i totally thought i wasn't ever gonna see the whole 50th anniversary thing. technically its the 51th year now, but owell. actually we didn't really get to see all of it, since the fireworks was cancelled due to high wind. i was pretty pissed even though its nobodys fault, but then we went straight to Space Mountain and afterwards i forgot about everything =). yea i know, i'm not much of a roller coaster person. the last time i went on Space Mtn was when my dad was still around, and i got sooooo scared. now i love it. my favorite way to overcome rollercoasterphobia is to pretend i'm speeding, since it's nothing new to me and i would have probably gone much faster if the law permitted it. oh and by the way, for those who didnt know, the speed limit in the Disneyland parking lot is 14mph. FOURTEEN!!! wHy!?!?!? ok anyways, thanks to Carol who knew the park by heart and ran everywhere getting us fastpasses, we were able to go on about a dozen rides before mmidnight (when they closed). congratz to mom who survived all the "Mountains", meaning she can go on every ride at Disneyland. same with Alice who claimed to cry after rollercoasters but still loved all the rides at Disney. but if we go on anything more intense, i think Carol's the only one that will do it. hehe... ohh and congratz to the winner of the First-Person-To-Talk-On-The-Phone-With-Calvin-When-He's-On-A-Roller-Coaster award - Cinda! she called right when i was on Thunder Mtn and the train started moving already but i didn't want the phone to keep vibrating in my pocket so i answered n screamed "i'm on a roller coaster now i'll call you later byyeeeeeeee!!!!" then hung up. thats probably the shortest conversation we ever had. and of course i called back later =). did some shopping after midnight when all the rides were closed... got home at like 1:30AM. sent another picture to Car-Parazzi. went to sleep.

Today: it's been so long since i went to church (English service, that is) that i feel almost like a newcomer (besides the fact that everyone knows me... thanks for saying hi =) ). but it's great to be back. Ernest and i got to share a little bit about the China trip... of course, it was all unprepared. (what did u expect me to do... write my outline on a roller coaster?) and actually the Chinese congregation wanted me to share too, except i didn't know until yesterday afternoon so i didn't bother going (to 9AM service) since i knew i wouldn't have time to prepare (remember, my Chinese isn't that good) and would have lots of trouble waking up on time. talked to Marcus after service and he said he wants to start some kind of jazz worship team. you have no idea how much i've been wanting something like this to happen. not that i really know jazz or anything. but i definitely hope it ends up working out. if anyone is interested let him know! mom & i went to eat lunch with Alice afterwards... we wanted to go to Banana Bay but the wait was too long so we went to McDonalds. big change but still good hehe. then went straight to the airport so Alice could go back to Berkeley. its so weird... first we haven't seen each other for over a decade, then she appears for like, 2 days? and then suddenly shes gone again. hopefully one of these days we'll all go back to Taiwan and have a humongous reunion with everyone on my dad's side of the family.

upcoming events: Harvest Crusade is this coming weekend! i'm going Friday and Sunday, but details (for me at least) are still in the air (i'll explain in a bit). Palos Verdes / Redondo Beach trip is this Saturday. Ken and I (and whoever wants to join?) will go visit Cinda, Tida, and whoever wants to be visited hehe. it's gonna be lots of fun. SOLD Reunion - i've asked several people already and so far it seems like it either has to be a Sunday night (pretty unlikely) or a weekday night. i'd love some help if someone wants to help me round up people and get their schedules. theres enough for me to worry about right now already. which leads me to one last thing before i go to sleep (very early)...

tomorrow morning. 8:30AM. i'll be at *drumroll* the Pomona Courthouse. no i'm not being sued or anything, but perhaps i'll be dealing with someone who is. iono... its my first time with this whole jury duty thing. and strangely enough, i'm actually not unhappy about having to go. its not like i do anything in the morning anyways. might as well have a reason to sleep early and wake up and feel productive. Steph Lin says i'm the only person she knows that calls jury duty "fun". i'm not sure if its funn actually, but its definitely a good experience. i'm already fortunate enough to be allowed to reschedule it and pick my own time and place, so what's left to complain about? i'm just gonna be totally honest with myself and see what happens. i just hope i dont end up with some insane 3-week-long trial. but i'm gonna go sleep early now so i won't fall asleep in front of the judge tomorrow. goodnight!

08/02: the Chinese language is INSANE. seriou5ly... last night i attempted to reply to the emails from China and type in Chinese for the very first time. first of all, i had to get my mom to translate everything for me first. writing back was much harder - fortunately i found an online translator. and i know enough Chinese to say it (and read some of it), so basically i type the English in the translator and guess-and-check until the words look right, and if its too hard for me to tell then i use a dictionary to look it up alphabetically to see if its the word i'm trying to say. if not, the guess-and-check continues. if so, i then have to translate it from traditional to simplified (again, thanks to that online translator), then copy & paste to MS Word. when i was in the right mood, i attempted some pinyin spelling on the keyboard myself. its not even real pinyin so its weird and theres so many sounds i havent figured out how to spell yet. eventually i have most of the words i need to use so i just copy n paste them. the first few sentences (of teh first email) took me about half an hour =/. it got easier from there, but i still have soo much to learn. i finally sent all the emails out about half n hour ago (its almost midnight now). phEw! that was intense. now i can wait for them to write back so the process starts all over again. i never knew talking to friends can be such a tough process. but its all worth it =).

tonight was very very fun - got a surprise call from Ken n Cinda saying they were gonna come visit me =). so i rushed home (i was at Home Depot) and cleaned my room... normally its very clean, except all my stuff from China (including multiple luggages) are still all over the floor. half an hour later it was (almost) as clean as it was on my birthday =) . actually i never even finished cleaning yet - still have to do the closet, polish the mirrors, and organize the drawers. i hope i'll stop procrastinating. but anyways, Ken n Cinda came over. went to the backyard n played with the dog first, then came to chill in my room looking at old pictures from my site and talking about Jay Chou (what a surprise hehe). then we took a walk up to the hilltop - gosh it's been sooo long!!! i guess thats a good thing, cuz i haven't felt the need to escape from home yet. theres so many things i learned from China that i brought back wtih me, and i hope they'll actually stay with me and not leave over time. but yea... its always fun going to the hilltop with friends. oh and we took lots of pictures =). i'll post them when i have time. for now, i'm gonna get ready for bed. goodnight!

08/01: wow.. sooo much to catch up with. first of all im soo glad that i had no problem with jetlag at all. i guess i was soo tired that i basically just died in bed before midnight and woke up the next morning perfectly fine. thanks everyone for the gazillion voicemails and emails (and IMs, now that i've finally signed back on)... i finally finished replying to all the phone calls today evening-ish and i'll get to the emails soon. problem is most of those emails are in Chinese. yupyup, those awesome people from China that i'm gonna keep in touch with. thanks to Cinda i managed to install Chinese on my computer last night, and today i figured out how to type in Chinese. not that i can read much of it to begin with. but i think i'm getting better. who knows... maybe this will force me to learn Chinese. for now i'll probably have my mom translate for me hehe. hopefully i'll get that done tonight cuz i dont wanna keep them waiting...

meanwhile i'm finding myself slowly transitioning into summer4. my teaching schedule resumes tomorrow, with most students' times still TBA. cousin from Taiwan who i haven't seen in over a decade is coming to visit this weekend and we're probably gonna go hang out somewhere (location TBA... problably a theme park?). then next week i'm going to jury duty. thats assuming i get selected. it seems pretty fun, but i definitely prefer having the time free to do my usual teaching/hanging out/etc. still praying for God's will to be done. we'll see wut happens... but i definitely hope if i get picked, its not one of those several-week-long cases cuz i'll have much more stuff to do then. next weekend is Harvest Crusade - i'll post details in the next few days, but its basically the same thing as every year for those who have gone with me before. i may or may not go Saturday, depending on scheduling. Palos Verdes trip is still very likely in the next few weeks. then the camping trip with the Yin family. soo much stuff to look forward to. that's all assuming i dont end up spending the rest of the month as a juror. please God don't let that happen.

in other news, i've returned to Car-Parazzi once again. those of u who watched TRL on MTV this afternoon might have seen the carparazzi guys at the end of the show. they're soo lucky. i cant wait to be back in walking distance of Beverly Hills. but for now i have plenty of pictures to last this whole summer (and much longer). as for my ECPG, i'll start working on the expansion (to make more room for more pics cuz its full right now) very soon and it shouldn't take too long to finish. then i can finally update it again =). and of course, i have plenty more to write about China and all the things i learned from the trip. who knows, maybe i'll end up doing some kind of testimony thing at church in these few weeks? we'll see...

oh yea, one last thing. (oltbisu? haha... i cant believe i still say that =) ). yes i do have pictures from China, but its gonna take probably a good two weeks or more before i post them, cuz most of them are on other people's cameras and i want to get them all before selecting what to post. charlie and samuel s.s. will burn me their pics on CD (hopefully this weekend or the next), i'll try to hunt down steph n ernest sometime, betty's in taiwan so its gonna be hard but i might steal a few from her site if i need to, and satina a.y. will give me pics too but shes still in china so i have to wait for her to come back. i cant wait to see them all =). but for now i have plenty more work to do so i better shut up. byebye!

07/31: hello, America! i would have updated last night when i got home, but i was so tired that my bed was much more tempting than the computer. China was absolutely amazing, and God only knows how long its gonna take for me to scribble out all my thoughts, memories, and reflections. but fortunately during the trip i kept a journal of the things we did, so i'll post that up first...

July 20 (Thurs)- we (me, aunt & uncle, steph, ernest, charlie, gary, samuel shru-shru) arrived at the Guangzhou airport at 5:30AM (we're a day ahead here, so the 19th basically didn't exist...). fortunately i slept quite well on the plane, so i felt pretty energetic throughout the day. the humidity of China hit me right away, but it wasn't too hard to adjust to. we had 7 hours before our flight to Fuzhou, during which we sat around, explored the airport, and had lunch. we attempted a brief time of sharing about our goals for the trip, and i described how i'm not letting myself have any expectations because i want to focus on God's will and not struggle with disappointment. it was weird having a conversation knowing there are people possibly spying on us anytime. we arrived at Fuzhou in the afternoon, and were greeted by the rest ouf our team and the people who will lead us during the trip. experienced traffic conditions in China for the first time; part of me was amused by the lack of order on the streets - people driving on the opposite side of the road, pedestrians and bikers crossing the streets whenever they wanted, and roads turned into as many lanes as cars could fit. but i was much more amazed at the fact that even amidst the constant chaos, not a single person was angry - a situation literally impossible to find in LA. we arrived at the Fuzhou Hotel - one of the best in the city, with rooms not much different from American hotels. ernest and i (we're rooming together), along with everyone else, already found it hard to believe we are on a mission trip. our trip is already pretty unique to begin with, but last time i checked going on missions doesn't include being spoiled by excellent living conditions and amazing food. and by amazing i mean a fancy seafood dinner at the hotel that can easily reach 3-digit prices (per person) in america. good food always makes me happy, and the only thing left to wish for is a good night's sleep to get ready for tomorrow.
July 21 (Fri)- explored the hotel with Ernest before meeting at Pastor Chen's room at 6:00AM for daily prayer. had a great breakfast buffet in the hotel, then began our work with the churches in Fujian. first we visited the Fujian Seminary and met with some of the elders there. had my first taste of lychee and longan. then went to a local church - we originally planned to just visit them, but turns out even when we were still at the hotel, a few hundred people were already gathered at the church waiting for us. so the ClayMusic team led a brief worship set (piano guitar n vocals only) and Pastor Chen promoted the Listen2Me videos. had another "fruity fellowship" followed by lunch. visited another church in the evening and had dinner (and fruit) there. at night the musicians met with a local worship team and held a Q&A session, followed by a demonstration of what we do through a few worship songs. it was amazing how eager the people were to learn from us, and we only stopped because we had to leave. but tomorrow we will be there again for our first concert. from what i hear, there will "only" be about a thosand people. i pray that i won't get scared, but also that i'll remain humble and work with the team together to serve God.
July 22 (Sat)- the first concert. we didn't get to soundcheck until about 5, but fortunately everything still worked out. people arrived early to pray, and the church was already filled when it was time to start. it was pretty intimidating seeing so many people, but once the concert started, the enthusiasm of the crowd only helped motivate me. it was during the concert that i finally experienced the heat everyone warned me about - there was no AC or fan on stage, and so many people in the building that all i could do was ignore the sweating and continue playing. at some points i felt i was literally losing consiousness due to the heat, but seeing the several dozen people who accepted Christ and many more who rededicated their hearts, it was all worth it. the event was broadcasted live outside on the streets, and all together there were at least 2000 people who came - definitely the largest crowd i've ever played for. and unlike America, almost all of these people either walked or biked, and most of them ended up outside in the overflow section sitting in the hot air watching us on little TV screens. i got to talk to a few of them, and it's amazing to see their enthusiasm. met a guy named Morgan who (fortunately) spoke english, and also loves working with music, and we got to talk for a while during soundcheck. even if much of this trip so far - sitting through long meetings that i barely understand - is very exhausting, i think it's already worth it for this event alone, and i can't wait to see the great things God will continue do to in the coming week.
July 23 (Sun)- had a quick breakfast before attending Sunday Service at another local church. a few of us went to preach at different churches while the musicians stayed with pastor Chen. other than playing for worship, i didn't get much out of it. but seeing so many people worshipping together is always encouraging, even in the ridiculous heat. the pianist at the church is an old blind woman who knows the hymn numbers by heart. it wasn't perfect, but it was definitely amazing watching her play without seeing the keys. unsurprisingly, service was followed by another "fruity meeting", where the pastors interacted and discussed church stuff that made little (or no) sense to some of us. Betty and i ended up playing games on her PDA and drawing pictures most of the time. afterwards we had another very fancy lunch before returning to the hotel. we had free time in the afternoon before soundchecking for tonight's concert (at the same church as last night), so me Steph Ernest Charlie and Satina Ah-Yee went shopping with Celina and Grace (i finally learned their names earlier tonight after they told us they have English names). experienced some hardcore China style bargaining. it was strange walking around the city and realizing that people remember us from last night. one of the guys at the hotel was at the concert, and throughout the day people on our team ran into various people at stores and other places who knew us. we barely had time to shop though, but at least we got to see China outside the church for the first time. as for the concert itslef, most of us thought last night's was better. it's becoming clear that there's a split among the team - one group for Pastor Chen's DVD promotion and one group for the ClayMusic events. at least that's how most of the musicians feel. we have two distinct goals that seem to have little in common other than Jesus himself, and prior to the trip i knew nothing other than that we were going simply for evangelical concerts. more and more of us are starting to agree with me that it's pointless for us to all sit through hours of video sermons and church meetings. Ernest went to the bathroom affter getting off stage and never returned, and Betty went to find him and disappeared too. then i went and found them outside near the overflow section. even though we simply wanted some fresh air, i was amazed at the size of the crowd outside and how loudly and publicly the event was braodcasted. and yes we did help our boredom with a little adventure at the shopping center next to the church, which ended up failing when we realized Ernest and I didn't have our wallets and Betty only had Taiwan money and they wouldn't accept international credit cards. hopefully none of our leaders are reading this. back at the church, several hundred people (out of about 4000) gave or dededicated their lives to Christ. afterwards we all went tot the nearby Joshua Cafe, owned by one of the sisters at the church who invited us knowing we didn't have dinner. got to spend some more time with the youth worship leaders. i felt much closer with them after finding out they all have english names - and Steph named Esther on the spot cuz she didn't have one. they sang for us at the restaurant before we had to leave cuz it was getting late. i got to ride back to the hotel in Loijek's Suzuki - my first ride in a microcar! as for tomorrow, we're supposed to leave Fuzhou to another church on an island, but there's going to be a typhoon that will make the boat ride dangerous, so we cancelled our plans. instead we'll have a day of free time to bond with the youth worship leaders - Celina will take us out for an afternoon of shopping, and at night the musicians will go to their church again and teach them more music stuff. as much as i love being on stage, i can definitely use a day of rest, and i thank God for allowing us to have some time to slow down before travelling to other cities for more events.
July 24 (Mon)- definitely the most unexpected and challenging day of the trip so far. i had breakfast with Pastor Chen and found out that 4000 people were already gathered at the church in Pingtan waiting for us and wishing that we didn't have to cancel the trip. when our whole team heard the news a few minutes later at the prayer meeting, many broke out in tears. that's when the truth finally hit me. i'm still getting used to counting people by thousands, even though so far we have already appeared on stage in front of over 10,000 people. we were all willing to risk the storm, but Pastor Chen decided to obey the people in charge ouf our schedule who told us to stay for our safety. either way, there was going to be some sacrifice, and at last we realized how hard it was to pray for God's will, not our own, to be done. at one point the decision was actually reversed, and we all packed up and met at the hotel lobby to check out, only to find out we were still staying. Pastor Chen called an urgent prayer meeting in his room, during which we discussed the situation, as well as our own issues about the trip so far, including the things i mentioned yesterday. we (the musicians) were told to remain on ein spirit with ther est of the group. it's very hard, but once again we could only pray for God's will to be done. on top of all the chaos, this morning i finally experienced the stomach problems and ridiculous diahhrea that i was warned about, which lasted the whole day and still bothers me now. we all had lunch at a new Japanese restuant owned by a family from the church, who kindly offered to treat us. fortunately i actually flet better then, so i could enjoy a good meal (still being careful - it obviously didn't work). the afternoon was spent shopping - i basically just walked around and looked at everything since i dont usually buy random things for myself. i usually prefer watching others shop instead. we were supposed to meet wiht the rest of the team for a big dinner, but because there wasn't much time left before we told the youth worship team to meet at church, the musicians had our own dinner at KFC. i didn't eat at all, and still don't feel hungry now. it was an incredible night interacting with the worship team. at the end we all gathered in a circle and worshipped together, then we (ClayMusic) prayed for them before leaving. we all wish we have more time to spend with them, but if God calls us elsewhere tomorrow, that's where we'll go. an additional night at the second best hotel in Fuzhou is definitely a blessing, and having everyone pray for my health (and everyone else's who isn't feeling well) at our nighttime debrief/prayer meeting brings me peace. tomorrow morning we will leave Fuzhou for another city to serve at a youth conference. personally i enjoy working with young people most, simply cuz we relate better. after today, we all learned to let go of our own plans and remember we're here for God's purpose. may His will continue to be done.
July 25 (Tues)- in the morning we left the Fuzhou hotel, which already felt like home, and headed for our next stop - Fuqing. thankfully my stomach was much better today, but an hour-long car ride in the rain didn't feel too good either. after a quick lunch, we held a full concert at the church in Fuqing with almost no time to soundcheck. the keyboard they had was basically a toy, so i chose the piano in the corner. honestly, i prefer playing on real pianos because (as all you pianists know), it's so much easier to express fine details acoustically. even though i didn't have any monitors, everything still worked out fine. several dozen people - mostly student-aged - accepted or recommited to Christ. we were leading for a large youth retreat, which i personally feel more connected with than other age groups. afterwards the church's worship teams arranged a meeting with us at night, and in the mean time we attended another fruity meeting, visited a few church-related construction sites to pray for them, and had a quick dinner. word of the meeting at night spread quickly to other churches, and over 60 people came to learn from us. i got to show some of them some piano techniques - something i've always wanted to do, since that's definitely the main thing God blessed me with. back at the DuoFu hotel, where we'll spend two nights, we met in Pastor Chen's room as usual. everyone agreed that today's event was a huge success. personally i sensed a much greater unity among our team than before. the most amazing thing is that the meeting was actually going to be cancelled due to typhoon rain, but the pastor decided to still let it run on faith, and sure enough the storm turned a different direction. in fact, yesterday evening the storm hit Pingtan harder than expected - meaning if we had gone to the church there we would be trapped on the island indefinitely. there are so many things to be thankful for, and it seems like each day we're all growing closer to God and to one another. the hotel we're at right now is pretty bad, especially compared to the previous one. the hallways are very dim, the AC, fan, and bathrooms all have problems, and the beds aren't exactly clean. but i pray that God will humble us and keep us healthy spiritually and physically. tomororw we will serve at the retreat the entire day, leadning worship in the morning and afternoon and holding a concert at night. even though our time here is short, God has already done great things, and I pray that tomorrow will be no different.
July 26 (Wed)- the busiest day so far, and also one of the most intense. woke up early for prayer meeting and breakfast, then went to the morning session of the retreat. we were put in charge of the entire day - the morning, afternoon, and nighttime programs. all the young people in our team were asked to give a testimony on stage, and at first all the English-speakers refused. but during the hour-long nap break we had between lunch and the afternoon session, i found myself passionately thinking of what to say on stage - something very very uncharacteristic of me to do. somehow i volunteered myself and joined Betty and Charlie to speak on stage in front of a few thousand people. i had Aunt Amy translate while i spoke English, just to make it easier for myself. i told the typical story of my transition from high school to college and my journey to Schoenberg, and asked everyone to join me in seeking God's purpose. i'm sure i could have done much better if i wasn't so tired, nervous, and unprepared. but from what people told me, it went pretty well, so i don't regreat volunteering myself. personally, i thought todayw as great because i'm pretty much completely recovered from my stomach problems, and also had many opportunities to play for worship throught the day. but more and more members of our team are being struck down by sickness, and even though the cloudy/rainy weather leaves me perfectly satisfied, we all seem to have a growing spirit of complaining, especially us younger ones. we've been eating at the same restaurant (in the hotel) since we came to Fuqing, and even though the food isn't bad, we always seem to be dissatisfied and ask for much more than we need. the highlight of the day (as i expected) was the night session. ClayMusic got to lead a full concert set - having spent plenty of time with the people at the retreat, we were all becoming more comfortable with one another, and after each session more people stayed to talk to us - some just to meet us and take pictures and others to learn about music and worship. enthusiasm from the crowd definitely motivates me, and while most people went back to the hotel before the concert, i stayed at the church to talk to the people there. i prefer not to use the word "fans", simply because it implies a one-way relationship. when it comes to people who enjoy my performance on the piano, especially those who understand it is for God's glory and those who want to learn more about using music to serve God, i treat them as my friends. and so i made several friends throughout the night, and wish to keep in touch when i return to America. from the moment the concert started, i sensed something wrong in the air. i felt distrubed, unable to focus even though i was in my own little corner next to the stage. Ernest and Betty, who were on the stage, couldn't hear the singers (and i had no monitors to begin with), so everything felt like a rehearsal, especially with the random bursts of feedback and distortion from the sound system. it wasn't anyone's fault (and i hope uncle Samuel doesn't feel down on himself for it), but in the end the entire system blew out int he middle of "How Majestic", leaving the vocalists miming and the instruments barely audible but still pulling through until the end. the concert came to a sudden end there, and Pastor Chen couldn't even reall ypreach because it was impossible to let the entire church hear him. we were all exhausted after a long day of work. i sat next to Shine, one of the people who stayed during dinnertime to hang out with us, and we talked about the differences between America and China. as bad as my Chinese is, we managed to have a good conversation. it left me in a good mood, but i knew the rest of the team didn't feel that way. even when people rushed to the front to take pictures with us at the end, i could tell they didn't feel like posing for the camera. the car ride back to the hotel was pretty mellow too, and after a closing prayer meeting we all went back to our rooms to rest after a long day. tomorrow morning we will leave Fuqing and move on to our next stop. every stop has been an adventure so far, and i'm excited to see what God will do next.
July 27 (Thurs)- a nice day if rest after a day of work. we left Fuqing after breakfast and went to Xiamen, the most advanced city in Fujian. after having lunch at a nice oceanside restaurant, we took a boat to visit a famous island. the island is run by mostly Christians, and while we were there we heard that one of the churches was holding a small retreat, so we stopped by to lead a quick worship song. another church invited us to visit - another fruity meeting (surprise?). we went back to the city for dinner - "western style" as they call it. wasn't too good though, especially for Betty since it took over an hour to make her omelette. how long does it take to cook a friggin egg!? then we came to our new hotel in Quanzou - it's much better than last night's, but still can't compare to the first one. at least the beds are clean this time. by now the rest of the trip is basically planned out already - tomorrow we will lead worship at a graduation ceremony for a local church, followed by a concert at night. Saturday will be our final concert, and Sunday evening we will leave China. it's starting to hit me that the trip is quickly reaching its end, and I want to make the bst out of the last days, letting God work through us just like He did at the beginning of the trip.
July 28 (Fri)- led worship at a graduation for some seminary program. i didn't really understand most of it, but at least we got to see the newly built church where tomorrow night's concert will be held. lunch at the hotel was one of the best meals of the trip - good share of seafood, white rice, etc. it's sad how us spoiled Americans love to eat the cheapest dishes (besides seafood that is - i love seafood!). but a filling meal is always good. we had some free time, and Ernest and i both fell asleep and everyone had to wait for us to leave the hotel. we went to another city about 40 minutes away for the concert. it was definitely one of the more aging church buildings, clearly seen through the building itself and the worship equipment. at least the piano worked fine and was in tune. i couldn't hear anything, but by now i'm pretty used to it already. i guess even before this trip, there have been situations like this (not nearly as bad), but i always complained and wanted things perfect. that's one thing God definitley changed in me. as i sat in the car on the way back to the hotel, i realized tomorrow is our last full day in China. this trip so far has been absolutely amazing. i definitely miss my life at home - my friends, family, etc... but i'm not sure if i want to leave China yet. i've already gotten used to the spontaneous weather and the traffic conditions here. the mind-your-own-business attitude continues to amaze me, and i believe i have much to learn from the culture here to conquer my problems back at home. sure, there's plenty to complain about here. but at the end of every day what stays on my mind is not a list of my dissatisfactions, but rather the amazing things God has done in the past week and a half. i don't know when i'll ever get to play piano to the sound of thousands singing in unison again. if only people in America are just as desperate, just as passionate, just as open to receive God's love! tomorrow's concert is supposedly going to be one of the largest, and i pray that we can have the same open attitude we began with, and that God will end our last full day in China with a successful concert.
July 29 (Sat)- After a morning of shopping and eating with Aunt Amy, Steph, Betty, and Satina Ah-Yee, i took a desperately needed nap before going to the church. we first shared with the worship team there (the first fruity meeting where all the musicians actually had something to participate in), then prepared for our final concert in China. i'm glad to say that in terms of performance, this was definitely our best event. in fact, it's the only even there every song, speaker, and video connected together without problems. another couple thousand people were present, and over 50 accepted Christ and many more rededicated their lives to God. after the sermon and altar call, Ernest Betty and i played "How Majestic" as an instrumental goodbye song (probably more of a we-failed-the-first-time-so-we're-doing-it-again song). it drew a crowd as people got up to go home. the leaders of the church invited our team to a late-night dinner. it was the last time our entire team was together - early tomorrow morning some will leave to preach at various churches while the rest will pack and leave for the airport to go to our various destinations. for the musicians, our mission is officially over, minus supporting tomorrow's speakers in prayer, and of course, letting the many things we learned continue to influence us as we go home. tomorrow i wish to spend some time (probably on the plane) reflecting on the trip. for now, i definitely need some sleep.
July 30 (Sun)- after a final prayer meeting with Pastor Chen, we left the hotel for a 3-hour car ride to the airport. we had lunch there, then the eight of us who were together at the beginning left for our first flight. right now we're at the Baiyunport (Guangzhou airport) getting ready to fly home. i heard GCCI will welcome us warmly at LAX. praise God for an amazing trip and for using us for his glory. i look forward to returning to America to reunite with everyone at home.
Home- it's such a strange feeling to be back. thanks everyone for an incredible welcome at the airport. part of me is excited to be home, but this is also the point where i start to think about the trip as a finished story - the things i did well, and also the things i messed up on and wish to go back and redo. i don't exactly look forward to fighting my daily life at home, and i'm scared that i will quickly start to forget the amazing things God did in China. there's definitely much more to write - the bulk of what happened in China isn't in our schedule itself, but rather in the changes that took place in the churches, the people there, and in ourselves. receiving countless voicemails and probably emails (i didn't check yet) is always a good thing, and after getting some rest hoping i won't get overcome by jetlag, i'll be sure to start replying to messages one by one. it might take a while since there's so much to do in the next few days, but i'm definitely excited to get to talk to everyone again. for now, its time to sleep. goodnight!

07/18: going to teach in about two hours, then coming home for a quick dinner, then i'll be on my way to China (the plane leaves at midnight). its such a weird feeling... for the 4 and a half years that the calvinchang.net journal existed (including the old Geocities days), this will be the longest period of time i spend without updating it. being away from home for two weeks isn't a big deal (since i've done it in college several times), but i haven't been out of North America since 3rd grade, and i have no idea how international flights work or what i need to do at the airport. but then again, i have no idea what to expect on the rest of the trip either.

God's been doing some strange things in my life lately. fortunately we never got into fights like last week, but i've been feeling really weak overall and i'm not sure why. i'm starting to feel like serving God has (ironically) deprived me of my own need to fellowship and worship. i've been cut off from my own cell group, and even sunday service. sure, i love playing piano, especially when i can use it for God's glory. but it's been so long since i felt like i was a part of a congregation without having to be in charge of something. i'm not sure if i need to start saying no to future opportunities to serve for the sake of protecting my own spiritual health. maybe the way i'm feeling now is simply another attack from Satan prior to the China trip. so i'm gonna put it aside and not worry about it until i come back.

as for the trip itself, even though i'm scared, i'm still really excited about it. even though i haven't been to China before, i've heard enough about it that it gives me some kind of idea what to expect. the weather is insanely hot. people are rude. places are unsanitary. there's way too many mosquitoes. and yes, these things definitely make me not look forward to my life starting tomorrow. but on the other hand, if we're there to serve, who are we to complain. i love how Gary puts it - no matter how hot the weather is in China, it can't be as bad as hell. and it means so much more coming from his mouth since he's actually been there before. putting all the complaints aside, what i'm most excited about is actually seeing God work through our team. last time i checked, the communist government doesn't allow people in China to worship God publicly. but because of Pastor Chen's good relations with government officials, we are able to make this trip happen. unlike the people here (including myself) who do "Christian" things out of obligation, cry out to God only when they're struggling, and complain about the smallest things, the people in China arrive at church early to guarantee a seat before it fills up and worship with all their hearts despite persecution. i've heard plenty of stories of how passionate the Chinese people are, but i've never experienced it for myself, and i believe that even though our team is going with the intention of blessing the people in China, we will be blessed just as much through witnessing their love for God.

please remember to keep this trip in your prayers, especially in the following ways-

*pray that we may have humble hearts, open to God's guidance and not our own. from what i hear, our schedule is subject to change anytime, with new concert opportunities sporadically being added (or cancelled). as you all know, i'm not a big fan of last-minute changes. but in a situation like this, i'll try hard to forget my own expectations to let God carry out his plan. i'm sure He brings me there for a reason, and i want that reason to be fully fulfilled.
*pray for the safety and health of the team, that we can have safe flights to and from China, as well as travelling from city to city. in China it's easy to unintentionally eat/drink something unsanitary and end up very sick. i wish nobody will end up sick at all, but if anything does happen, let us be strong and help one another so that we can serve God to our best ability as a team.
*pray for unity among the team, as well as joy and passion to serve. as far as the concerts go, we have no idea what kind of equipment to expect, but let that not be a reason for us to complain. let us all work together, no matter what our role on the team is, both on stage and offstage. let us be filled with God's joy so we can serve Him willingly. and in return let us receive new insight about worship that will transform us even after we come back from China.

we'll be back on July 30th (Sunday night). feel free to leave me voicemail or sign my guestbook while i'm gone =). i'm not sure how long it will take for me to recover from jetlag, but i'm quite sure that when i come back my life isn't gonna be the same anymore. i've heard so many stories of how going on missions can change people's hearts, and it's about time i experience it myself. theres so much anger, bitterness, and pride in me that needs to be removed, and it's my prayer that this trip will be able to help with that and bring me closer to God. hope you guys have a great week and a half without me. looking forward to talking to you again when i return. bye!

07/15: back home again in the middle of a very busy weekend. the Orange County trip was awesome and totally worth the ridiculous amount of gas it took to get me there and back. went to Dianne's place first - we had lunch at some Korean tofu house. i like how almost every time we hang out there's always some kind of eating involved. ate n talked until everyone that went in after us already left hehe... then went to the huge park right by her house. they have this awesome gazebo on an island in the middle of a lake, and we sat in there n chatted until i had to go.

i only had to go cuz my next stop was the Lambo dealer and i wasn't sure if they closed at 5 or 6 (it was almost 5 already). not that i bother going inside the showroom anyways - its not like i look like i can afford anything in there. there wasn't anything in the parking lot and the service gate was closed (maybe they do close at 5... i got there like at 4:58), but there was some good eye candy on the grass outside, namely two Esperantes and two T-Rexes. i've only seen an Esperante driving from far away and never saw any T-Rexes at all, so of course my camera got to work right away.

the next stop was supposed to be UCI, but i wasn't exactly content after leaving the dealer, since what i really wanted was some actual street spottings. thought about going to South Coast, but ended up with a better idea - the beach! its only like 5 minutes away from UCI anyways. drove down PCH until i found a DB9 Volante and Porshce 356 parked, so i parked too =). kinda sucks that i didnt bring my scooter (my ride of choice when it comes to carwatching), but having a car definitely helped at the end, namely when i was already on my way to Irvine and found a rare Esprit S3. so i chased it =). after 10 minutes, we managed to stop at enough red lights for me to position my own car to get photos of it from every angle. then i finally went to Irvine satisfied =).

went to Ken's place and cooled off for a little bit, then his friends Cinda n Sue came over and we met with Dewey (Nathan? *still confused*) for dinner at some Japanese restaurant. the wait list was pretty long but time passed by fast, and we ended up going hardcore Japanese - taking off our shoes and kneeling on the floor! it was pretty fun. my bowl of Udon was great, but it was freakin hot and i was sweating like crazy hehe. Dewey left after dinner, and the rest of us went to chill at Cinda and Sue's for a little while. stopped by Cha for some boba - i totally wanted some but decided not to cuz it was almost 11 and i knew i wouldnt be able to sleep if i had boba. trust me, i've done it enough times. it was soo tempting though!! me Ken n Cinda went to chill at Ken's place. apparently Cinda can't get over the fact that my friend's friend's grandmother's best friend's grandson is Jay Chou. gosh, what's with asian girls and Jay Chou? haha... at least it's always an easy conversation starter, which helps people like me who suck at keeping conversations alive.

after Cinda left me n Ken chilled n talked for a little more, then went to sleep at like almost 2AM(!!). im surprised i actually slept pretty well... got up at 7AM(!!) today. luckily Ken had to get up for work too so i dont need to feel bad for making him wake up early with me. had a bottle of water for breakfast, then went to join the rest of ClayMusic at Irvine Baptist. turns out everyone else (except Gary hehe) was late cuz of freeway construction. but the worship set still came out pretty well. we left right away, and got home just on time for another long car ride for piano lessons. not that its anything to complain about. as weird as it seems, i'm so excited about piano now its not even funny. i'm gonna start a new Beethoven Sonata after coming back from China. its gonna be really exciting to work on something tonal for the first time in years. lunched at Jack in the Box with mom n Carol. the car ride back was amazing. i don't know what the occasion is, but i saw two Ferraris, a Flying Spur, and a Ford GT all on the freeway. too bad they're going the opposite direction so i can't do anything about it. (one of these days i need to get myself some kind of glass-bottomed helicoptor hehe). owellz...

the rest of this weekend will consist of rehearsal tonight for C-worship tomorrow morning, then the final rehearsal for China tomorrow afternoon, followed by lots of packing and preparation before the trip. i'm glad that i've been spiritually strong these past few days, and i hope it can stay that way. and i definitely hope to find some extra time to go online, cuz i know theres lot of people that i want to talk to =). but for now its time for me to eat dinner then to go rehearsal. bye!

07/13: tomorrow is the first of several 'area trips' i plan to make this summer - driving farther than i'm normally willing to, and getting as much done there as possible before going back home. and tomorrow's destination is... *drumroll...* UC IRVINE! so the plan is to go to Fountain Valley for lunch with Dianne (im finally visiting her! hehe), then hang out at UCI with Ken (and whoever else i'm gonna see there), have dinner, and sleep over at his place. the next morning i'll join the rest of the Claymusic team at a church right next to UCI to do worship for a conference, then drive back home. if that doesn't sound productive enough, add in the little detour i always make when i'm around the area - Lamborghini Orange County. my carwatching life has been very deprived in the summer, and it's about time i give it a little boost =). depending on time, i may also visit South Coast Plaza and Newport Beach, both of which are pretty good (by non-Beverly-Hills standards) hunting spots. but yea... its gonna be an exciting day. and to make the most out of it, i need to get a good night's sleep. so thats what i'm gonna do now. goodnight!

07/12: just got back from practice for the claymusic event in irvine on saturday morning, along with another trip to the hilltop (to talk on the phone). its amazing how fast things can change. after getting off the phone, i stood at the exact place where i cursed at God last night, except this time things feel completely different. after writing last night's entry about how i felt about God, i felt almost prophetic in that God really didn't give me any time to cool down. it eventually drove me out of the house to retreat to the hilltop, knowing i'd probably start destroying things around the house if i stayed any longer. at the end, after coming back home, being attacked again, and physically fighting God through bible-stomping and desecrating my sheet of memory verses, i went to sleep after being so tired of my own anger that i didn't want to bother anymore.

i think part of the reason it seems like summer is so slow is that everything i do happens in the second half of the day. i don't start working (teaching) until evening almost every day, and if i go out with friends or go to rehearsal or anything, its pretty much always at night. so every morning i just wait in bed half-awake not wanting to get up because there isn't anything to look forward to in the near future. today was a little different; after last night, what was there NOT to look forward to? two things were on my mind. the first was something pastor Chen mentioned during last night's prayer meeting - if we suffer from extra temptation before a mission trip, it means Satan is threatened because God is about to do something big. the second was from a book i'm reading on fighting sexual sin - we can't just expect God to take our sinful desires away from us; we have to hate the sin first in order to take our side in the battle. with those things in mind, i got out of bed and started the day with God's word. i carefully prayed for guidance through each area where God likes to push my buttons. before turning on my computer, i kept the mentality that no matter how bad the connection is and how much the technology malfunctions, i'm not going to let it bother me. the battle began literally seconds after i turned it on. sure it was difficult, and i felt very uncomfortable at first. but eventually i got over it. and so the rest of the day i successfully defeated the things that make me turn away from God, and even at the times when i failed, i didn't let it bother me permanantly.

on the way to practice earlier tonight, i was talking to my mom on the car, and somehow i already knew even before going on the car that we were going to end up arguing. thats just how its been for a very long time - everytime we talk, we end up arguing. i'm at the point where i refuse to drive with her in the car because i know i'll eventually get mad and start breaking traffic laws like i always do and make my mom yell at me even more. thats how it was today for the first half of the trip (thankfully she was driving, not me), but as we got close to church i honestly told her something i realized today - the reason we always argue is that when i tell her my problems, she always starts by criticizing me more and telling me what i should have done that i clearly didn't do already. and i know she intends to help me because she is very good at helping people, even in problems much more difficult than mine. after getting that out in the open, i feflt so much better and so much more free, and i know my mom understands me so much better too. during prractice, i was actually worshipping and praying, unlike my attitude last night. having to do songs more than once didn't irritate me like it used to. sure, my heart is still ridiculously hard and theres still a lot i need to work on to make myself right before God. but at least i'm off to a good start now. its always great to end a day knowing i've done well. and it makes me eager to see what God has in store for me tomrorow...

07/11: my life is becoming totally ridiculous- everything that triggers "justification for sin" in me seems to be happening. its a the point where i wake up welcoming God into my day and actually feel like i'm on top of things and can fight temptation, then God purposely does something that pisses me off knowing it's gonna ruin my day, so i say fine, i'm not fighting anymore. its ridiculous because i dont even feel tempted to sin to begin with. but i force myself to sin out of anger towards God. so thats my life right now - me refusing to let God make me suffer while he refuses to stop letting me suffer. went to prayer meeting for the china trip earlier tonight. to be honest, i couldn't pray at all. how can you sing love songs to someone you're mad at? i agree with everything we prayed, but didn't really feel like i was one of them because i couldn't (and still can't) let go of how messed up my life is. honestly, if this is the kind of thing that happens before mission trips, i'm not sure if i want to go on another one again. of course, i'm just saying that out of anger now, but things will probably change when i come back. the outcome of the trip better be worth it. i'm sure it will be. i'm sure God has his plan. in fact, i'm sure that even though he makes me suffer, he has a reason for it. much of this day has been either me enjoying my anger or talking (out loud) to God telling him how i feel. and yes, he talks back - through scripture and things i know about him. and i know that no matter how much i argue, i'm gonna lose anyways. so why am i even trying? i really don't know. just give it time, and everything will cool off like it always does in my life. but the question is will God give me any time? or will he keep throwing more problems at me so i have no time to think about how to deal with it? i hope i can at least cool off for tonight to end the day on the positive side. and as for tomorrow, we'll just wait and see...

07/10: jus got back from an hour-long phone convo with hannah on the hilltop. havent rode my bike up there in soo long, but speeding down that hill at midnight is soooo much fun! hehe... this was definitely one of the best hilltop trips this summer so far. its always great to have someone to talk to when im there. of course, i can always talk to God, which i usually do cuz He's always there too =). but something about that just isnt working out the way it used to. i've reached the point where when certain things happen that i refuse to accept, i automatically give God the "if ur gonna mess with my life then i guess it's ok for me to sin too" attitude, and i find myself sinning more out of anger towards God than as a result of temptation like before. but in a sense it's a lot more under control than before. at the end of the day, i stand at the hilltop letting the wind and the view calm me, and each time i call God's name i realize how small and undeserving i am. my heart is so hard; my friends around me are struggling with family problems, emotional brokenness, and even coping with death, and yet i'm just here minding my own business. i wish i actually cared like everyone else would. i wish i could feel compassion for others the way other people do, without any unspoken selfish motivation for doing so. i'm sick of always asking God to love me more so that i can love others more. He's giving me much more love than i could ask for, but i'm throwing it out to the wrong places. as i stand there waiting for God-only-knows-what, it suddenly strikes me that my sin is keeping me away from being close with God. i feel guilt, which, even though it's not the best motive to turn from sin, makes me feel unworthy of the life God has given me. its one of those rare moments in my life when i feel like i dont deserve God's love at all, and i'm unable to accept it as a gift from Him. kinda weird, but i sure hope its gonna lead me somehwere eventually. i'm sure spending over a week in China will make a difference. and whatever it is he wants me to learn, i'm sure its gonna be a good thing =).

07/08: summer 2006 - definitely one of the most interesting summers in my life so far. i know its already almost a month since school got out, but as you know i've been insanely busy and havent had much time to sit down and think about what's gonna happen this summer, as well as wut already happened. generally i organize my summer into 5 sections -

summer1 (6/19-6/25) - Summer Conference with Intervarsity. transition into summer by spending a week on a retreat in Idyllwild with other UCLA students. learn about intimacy with God in Prayer Seminar and develop a greater passion for prayer to apply during the time i have to spend at home in the weeks to come.

summer2 (6/26-7/18) - Home. finalize first set of summer teaching plans and begin working. annual "room renovation" until end of June. mid-year "celebration". start piano lessons / practice piano. semi-annual computer & homepage backup. hang out with friends. trip to fountain valley & irvine. apply lessons learned from Prayer Seminar. ClayMusic rehearsals & concerts. prepare for mission trip to China.

summer3 (7/19-7/31) - China Mission Trip. first missions trip and first time in China. series of ClayMusic concerts in Fujian. learn about worship through interacting with people in China and seeing how their attitude and environment differ from my own. let God lead the way.

summer4 (8/01-late august) - Home. new teaching schedule. jury duty. hang out with friends. continue spending free time with God. possible trips to upland and pasadena. practice piano. Harvest Crusades. camping trip with Yin family. purchase keyboard amp & case.

summer5 (late august-late september) - Home. high schools resume school. hang out with friends. spend time with God. practice piano. ClayMusic San Francisco trip. finalize schooltime teaching schedule. end piano lessons. prepare for new schoolyear.

so yea... thats basically what my summer will look like. it seems really nerdy to organize it like this, but i feel like it really gives me a deeper sense of purpose in small chunks of time that are easier to grasp. usually i make big resolutions for the summer and end up getting nothing done. this way it's much easier to actually make things happen. i'm glad i have a chance to go to the mountains to seek God, leave the country for missions, be at home long enough to work and earn income, and still have plenty of time to spend with my family and friends. im sure more great things will happen as time gets closer, and i look forward to what God has in store for me in the rest of summer.

07/07: i love talking to people. i love sharing about my life. i love making music. fine, i'll admit it - i love attention. that could be a good and bad thing, depending on my motive for doing things. but for now all i know is that i havent felt this excited about life in a while. went out to dinner with allyester. thanks for eating super early (4:30?) with me... i was actually expecting early like 6-ish, but we had a lot of fun hanging out. ate at lolllicup then went to chill at ally's house. it was fun jus sitting there chatting (and singing random little jingles haha). ohh u know the coolest thing? allys uncle lives on my street like 5-6 houses down. so she has no excuse not to visit me next time hehe.

chilled til almost 8 then took esther home n went to RHCCC. i was invited to go share my testimony (about my dad - see 10/20/04 entry) with the junior high group cuz they were learning about dealing with death. pretty intense stuff, but im glad they actually paid attention while i talked. and of course, i was freakin nervous - im not a good talker to start with, but one thing i know for sure is that i love my lifestories, cuz they're all written by God, and the more i share with people the more thankful i am for my difficult experiences. i'm bad at talking about stuff i need to study for or prepare in advance, but when it comes to my own life, once i start i cant shut up. i'm just that excited about it. in fact, i'd love it if God can continue to give me opportunities like this to let my experiences be a blessing to others.

of course, being at RHCCC means i get to see so many people i usually dont see =). talked to emily for the first time in like... months? its been forever. saw lots of people who kinda remembered me (cuz i've been there a couple times before) and we re-introduced ourselves. emily drafted me to play piano while she plays drums (yup shes a drummer now! hehe)... we got a bunch of people to worship together afterwards... it was sooo fun! my favorite times of worship are those that are totally unplanned and spontaneous. met lots of cool friends... they're all soo multitalented hehe. but yea, ended up chillin there til like... past 11? it was soo fun though =). id love to visit again but this was my last free friday until next month. more details on that later. but i definitely look forward to visit again sometime before summer ends.

jus got back from another hilltop trip. my recent hilltop trips have all been filled with anger and complaining... at last i'm actually feeling high enough start thanking God for stuff. and yea i know i'm probably just drifting along with my emotions again - i'm happy after a good day and unhappy after a bad day. and maybe the reason today was a good day was simply because (1) i didnt run into any idiot drivers, and (2) i felt really special after talking/jamming with so many people. yep, the miracle mentality again. i love how powerful it is when it kicks in. the only problem is that i don't know how to make it kick in when it doesnt want to. somehow i feel that my joy right now isn't only fueled by attention though. theres just something a little deeper than that - my father. of course his story always means so much to me, but its been sooo long since i actually thought about it deeply. after telling the story out loud tonight i feel like i've learned so much myself. and it only gets intensified when i remember that it's not just an inspirational story, but the very life that God gave me. i feel so thankful, so vulnerable, so receptive to whatever God has in store for me. if this feeling reminds me of any particular time in my life, it's prayer seminar. once again, something i've slowly forgotten about as time passed. but a reminder from God once in a while never hurts right? if only life can always be this easy... thank you God for such an awesome evening/night. as i pray for the friendships formed and/or strenghtened, as well as the people who received something from my testimony, i include myself as one of the kids and pray for God to let me remember how far he's brought me, how precious life is, and how important it is to trust in his purpose and never give up.

07/06: a long-overdue carwatching update. as of monday, the ECPG is finally updated with around 75 new pictures, mostly from the last couple weeks of school and also some from summer. yup, summer actually hasnt been too bad. having students in Walnut makes me have to drive that direction three days a week, and i not only pass by HWL plaza, but also those awesome little shops on Valley that often bring me surprises. aside from the fact that the 993 GT2 i saw last week was a fake (friggin desperate idiots...), a silver Prowler (that i already saw parked more than once) often makes my day. last friday was probably as good as it's been around this area. on my way to meet steph at the mall, i caught a Vanquish on Colima (!!!!), and it prompted me to u-turn and stalk it to its destination - hong kong plaza. took me a while to find it in the parking lot, but luckily i still got it at the end. funniest thing was that one asian guy was chillin in his riced-up M3 trying to look cool, then when the Vanquish came and parked (right across from it), he got out and left. hahaha... anyways... fast forward an hour or so. i was driving out of the mall and passed by those furniture/mattress/wutever stores on the corner, and guess what was parked there - a Maybach 57. friggin insane!!! this is officially the most expensive car i've seen in this area. the owner was an asian guy too! like ben says, 'there's still hope for us'. oh and apparently someone on my street drives a Zimmer. i've lived here over a decade and today wasa my first time seeing it!?!? thats ridiculous. it felt pretty ridiculous chasing down my own neighbor and shooting pictures of his car. but one of these days i'll get a better look at it...

exoticsonroad has been "on vacation" for over a week already... i sure hope they'll be back soon, cuz life is so quiet without those daily updates. but on the other hand, i've discovered another awesome site - car-parazzi.com. it's started by a bunch of kids, including spyder (you know, the one who videotaped stefan ericksson's SLR being confiscated), and they're mostly from the los angeles area too. even better, after submitting pictures they get posted instantly. so i'm constantly adding pictures when i feel like it. and i love reading people's comments on my pictures =). too bad all these pics are from last year and i'm too far from my area of expertise to add to my library at the same rate i did during the schoolyear. as far as i know, there's gonna be an unofficial carwatching trip to the O.C. in the near future. more details to come later =).

07/05: claymusic practice for china. my energy level was officially boosted up to 4bpw (bobas per week). i think the highest ever was 4 and a half. but anyways... practice was really really exhausting. i hate to complain, but i would really appreciate it if people can learn their own parts before coming to rehearsal so it wont waste everyone's time. i know its hard, especially for people who are new to the team. but wut happened to the old days when we had small group practices first to make sure everyone's ready to work together? i was literally standing there for over 3 hours playing "background music" (what are we supposed to practice when there's no bassist anyways?) just for the sake of running through the set.

i feel sorry for my car. sure its old and uses a lot of gas. but to be honest i totally love it. in fact, i might even prefer it over a typical new car that every other asian family owns. i think i can conclude that my "miracle mentality", whether with people or material things, will always be a part of my life. but its simply not enough to sustain me. i would like to see my car die of old age, not of excessive abuse. but at my current rate of decline God only knows what's gonna end up happening. tonight was actually not too bad, its just that i heard a really really loud bang from the bottom of my car while making a turn kinda fast. might have been some random object on the road. but at least it calmed me down and scared me for a moment. not that its gonna make a difference in the long run. trust me, it's happened enough times for me to know. i'm only writing right now cuz i know i wont fall asleep right now if i go straight to bed, so might as well take a little break. ok, i think i'm done now. goodnight!

07/05: not a bad day (so far?)... like i mentioned earlier, even though i havent been feeling too bright about myself lately, this past week has had its good points, and having a mood that fluctuates in and out of happiness is better than being permanantly depressed and angry. went to the mall with steph(lin) friday evening. thanks for the boba =). sat in the car chillin and reading the bible until 6:30, then had dinner with mom carol grandma steph n ben @ red lobster. yupyup... its that time of the year again hehe. the waiter was soo mean but soo funny hehe. and of course, the food was amazing =) . saturday - for those who didnt know, i've decided to take piano lessons again this summer. i'm gonna re-learn the passacaglia and beef it up to performance quality, and hopefulyl also learn a tonal piece (most likely a beethoven sonata). strange how i'm actually getting gmore and more excited about learning piano. maybe its cuz im starting to realize more and more how much i suck now hehe. but anyways, went to jack in the box with mom n carol afterwards then went to buy stuff. college cell at night was fun too, even though i was feeling pretty tired and really out of it. its gonn abe my last time at cell for a long long time... probably a month, if not more. we'll see... sunday - got to church early and played piano in a classroom... talked with eve until prayer meeting. after church me ken jackie n grace went to kingswood for an awesome lunch. watching them cook in front of me makes the food taste better... seriou5ly.. haha... went to teach composition class at night - its supposed to be monday but we moved it a day early cuz people were gonna be busy monday. the switch worked out well for me too, cuz i got to hang out with diana(yung) at night! shes leaving to study abroad this weekend and wont be back til next year =//. we got boba (yaay) at quickly's and chilled there, then walked around a few stores, then went to thomas burton park to take a walk. now this is the kind of hanging out i really love - just walking around and talking while enjoying our surroundings, not having to worry about time, money, or anything else. we sat on this really high kids climbing thingy hehe. even putting aside the fact that there happened to be a rolls-royce parked in front of me, it was soo much fun. then i realized we didn't eat dinner yet (haha) so we went to in-n-out. then went back to diamondplaza (cuz dianas car was there), took pictures before she left, and said bye =/. tuesday (yesterday)- ken and i were gonna visit steph at work (red tomato house) but turned out she wasnt working but she came and joined us anyways =). we went to q noodle house... cheap & good, just the way i like it. hehe.. chilled in the parking lot for a lil then went home. went to "teach" in the afternoon... you know the story. came home for a big BBQ party... its for my moms cellgroup people. ate with robert while all the "kids" chickend out and went inside. haha... the food was amazing as usual. later we all went up to the hilltop to watch the "panoramic fireworks" (i made that name up, but its definitely appropriate). dozens of fireworks shows going on at the same time... we ended up a whole bunch of ucc pplz up there... basically half the college cell hehe. oh and thanks alun for the boba. (yes, another boba =) ). sat in the car n talked with shaw for a lil while before everyone left. and here i am the next morning writing this thing. not too bad huh? i always thought that "counting blessings" is a cheesy idea, but it really works. of course, being happy doesnt mean the battle is over. but its always good to have a little break right? =)

07/04: happy celebrate-america's-independence-with-air-pollution day. sorry for the late update... i've been pretty busy lots of random stuff. and to be honest, life kinda sucks. after literally going insane from so much last-minute cleaning on thursday, i finished just in time to rest on friday. and i was greeted with several phone calls and IMs (since i havent been online in weeks)... thats pretty much what i did most of the day. not that i didnt enjoy it or anything, but for some reason i just felt really empty. maybe i allowed my expectations to secretly rise above my control again. everything just felt so out of place, and it left me filled with random complaints. a few things i know are worth complaining about - my car's having trouble starting up again... it still works after a few (sometimes many) tries, but i sense a lot more of my income going down the drain if the problem gets worse. my home internet connection... im starting to conclude that adelphia isnt really the problem. something's wrong with my wireless adapter, and its screwed up enough to bluescreen the computer more than once. but am in gonna fix it? as far as i know right now, heck no. im not spending any more money on this computer, and like i said before, im jus gonna use it until it dies, then let it die and see whats gonna happen next. coping with my countless dissatisfactions led me to turn to some old habits that i was ashamed of. for a while i had thought i was free, and prayer seminar only helped affirm my freedom. but after coming home from idyllwild i was bombarded with so much to do and so much on my mind that i rarely (if ever) had any time to apply anything i learned. in fact, my prayer life only went downhill, and realizing my inability to control myself in times of frustration and temptation simply makes me feel stupid and insufficient. its becoming harder and harder for me to fall asleep every night, and when i wake up in the morning, i seldom rise from bed with anything to look forward to.

earlier today i went to teach - i had asked the student if he wanted me to come another day and he said no, and i was free anyways - only to find that he had gone to some party without telling me. you guys know me well enough - if you want to screw up my mood quickly, just plan something with me and cancel it last-minute. its happened to me countless times, thanks to irresponsible and inconsiderate people (friends, students, etc) who see no value in sticking to their own words, and by now i'm so used to it that i dont even allow it to hurt me anymore - i just fill myself with anger and let it wear itself out over time (which doesn't work of course, but i do it anyway). this time i let out my anger from the driver's seat - instead of going home i fled to a nearby park to waste the hour away, so i could go home and pretend everything was fine. after some drifting in the neighborhoods (trust me... i seriou5ly need some help...), i went to the park with the only things i had with me on the car - some leftover candy, my lesson plans, and my bible. not that i was able to absorb God's word at the time, but what else was i supposed to do sitting on a random bench for an hour?

...and apparently God knew that i wasn't able to absorb his word at that moment, because right when i opened the Bible, i got a call from Hannah and we ended up talking for much more than the time i wanted to kill before going home. God knew that all i needed at that point was someone to talk to that wouldnt criticize me or hurt me. its amazing how it works - a few words into the conversation it seemed like everything suddenly became ok, and i saw once again the beauty of the park rather than the quiet loneliness of sitting on that bench. by the time i decided it was time for me to get off the phone to drive back home, i found myself uncontrollably thanking hannah for calling me, even though to her it was just another normal conversation.

so thats the way my life is right now. so fickle, so empty, so out of control. maybe it's the devil trying to (very successfully) distract me from applying what i learned in prayer seminar at home. maybe he's tempting me because of the china missions trip. or maybe God is bringing up these issues in my life so i can spend the summer dealing wtih them. only time can tell. for now i all i can do is accept myself the way i am and pray for help. its gonna be a long long battle, knowing how unmotivated i am to fight right now. i've already given up (at least for now), and ive been scarred in so many ways that people can easily hurt me without intending to do so. i've turned to using unpleasing circumstances as excuses to justify sin (revenge against God? once again, stupid but true). what more can i say? sure, this past week has had its many good highlights (and i'll definitely write about them sometime too), but they simply don't hit my heart the way the other things do, and somehow im gonna need to learn to stop letting circumstances randomly dictate my life. God's gonna take care of everything - someday. i sure hope it's soon...