02/25: Sunday night. i've done enough work on my composition (string trio) to deserve a little break. not that i haven't had my share of fun today already. i wasn't sure if i wanted to go to Beverly Hills or not, so i gave Mike a call and he said go so i went =). and i'm soo glad i did. highlights of the afternoon include multiple Gallardos, a Ford GT, a pair of SLR McLarens, and an extremely rare Arnage Diamond Series - one of 60 in the world. and i made it back just in time to run into Jessica & Jessica and be invited to dinner with them. first it was just Jessica Jessica Michelle and Linda, then i found out Linda and Elizabeth went to the same high school, then suddenly Elizabeth showed up in the dining hall so she came to join us too, then Jonathan showed up and he knew most of us too so he joined us. i love times like this when it seems liek the whole world knows each other somehow. Tammy and Julia came just as we were about to leave, so i stayed and ate with them, then i saw Jane eating alone and invited her to join too... so yea, it was one heck of a dinner. and now that i have plenty of free time, i can eat for as long as i want =). spent the rest of the night chillin in my room and doing homework. yes, i'm still being productive hehe...

anyways, its time to get ready for another schoolweek. i cant believe its week 8 already. i'll spend this week focusing on piano and organ. Professor Bull and Professor Chihara are both gone, meaning i have very few classes and even more free time. i hope all that free time gets spent well. who knows, maybe i'll even get a head start on my history essay that's due at the end of the quarter =).

02/24: chillin at home by myself on Saturday afternoon. i'm going straight back to school after church tomorrow, and i'm considering spending some time at either Sunset Blvd or the Triangle before dark. by the way, the ECPG is finally updated with about 250 new pictures, so for those who are interested, go check it out =). anyways... i guess i'll do an early SNU for week 7.

Tuesday- breakfast with Josh, walked to campus with Joseph. see previous entry for details on the amazing 13-hour day. ate cup noodles for dinner between the orchestra reading and Catalyst. rehearal w/ Michael afterwards, then walked back to Hedrick slowly, thinking about everything that happened throughout the day. chilled n talked with Elizabeth the rest of the night. Wednesday - breakfast with Jolene Ran and Tracy. walked to SMB w/ Tracy to practice. orchestration class ended an hour early, so i cruised around campus for the remaining hour... ran into Tammy Hannah Anny and Anthony. its so awesome to search for random people i know to say hi =). walked back w/ Elizabeth after chorale and had dinner... then got dressed and rehearsed one last time before the undergrad composers recital. me Tom and Max alls crewed up at some point, but it came out pretty well. walked back with Elizabeth n got smoothies =). finished my history essay that actually wasn't due until Friday. Thursday - breakfast with Josh Jolene and Ran. practiced before piano lesson. classes. practiced organ until Elizabeth finished her lesson n walked back to Hedrick. Theme dinner - not nearly as good as previous ones, but still awesome. my meal began at 5 with Tammy Lisa Hannah and Elizabeth, then continued with the floor in the PDR until 7:30. i would have stayed until they closed (at 8) if i found more people to eat with me hehe. but then again, 8 plates (plus drinks, dessert, and more) is enough for one meal. chilled for the rest of the night while digesting =). Friday - breakfast with Ran, Tracy, and Yiki. studied for history quiz, walked to campus with Lisa and Will. appointment at the Mancini Studio an hour before class to edit my recorded compositions. it took a lot longer than expected, so i'm going again on Tuesday, and possibly one more time after that. history class/quiz. lunch with Tammy. me Elizabeth and Anahit were the only people at organ class, and we all wanted to go watch a recital so Prof. Bull let us come half an hour late. i love the music department =). i didn't do too well, but there's no class next week so i'll practice really hard. dinnered w/ Elizabeth @ Deneve and ran into a bunch of people we knew - either other music majors, people from her school, or my friends...and somehow everyone knew each other. such a small world... chilled in my room the rest of the night - me at the computer, Richard playing the Wii, and Elizabeth hanging out on the futon like always =). i love Friday nights... went home afterwards and gave David(Wang) a ride too. got up today to teach, and now i'm at home by myself. i'm gonna go pick up Carol in a bit (she just finished a choir competition). then maybe we'll go get dinner before i go to cellgroup. so anyways... i'll shut up now. bye!

02/20: the end of an intense 13 (almost 14) hours away from my room, beginning with breakfast and ending right now (around 10PM). i'm definitely tired, but i'm being kept awake by all the thoughts going through my head right now as a result of the many things that happened today.

first of all, i realized today that it was my last time playing for worship at Catalyst. i had thought there were a few more weeks left for my feelings to sink in, but apparently there are a few special events later this quarter that i didn't know about, so tonight was the last time we led worship as a team. i guess it might not be that big of a deal to most people, but having played for three years in a row, it definitely feels a bit strange now. i signed up for worship freshman year the day i heard about tryouts, and now its hard for me to picture myself at Catalyst without being part of the team anymore. thank God that over the years, i've become more a part of the IV Community, leaving me no reason to ditch Catalyst like i would before joining the worship team. i'm sure i'll have a LOT to write about this eventually, but for now theres much more on my mind that i need to spill out...

the orchestra reading. definitely one of the most awesome experiences of my life. there's nothing like sitting in front of an entire orchestra watching/hearing your own imagination being made into reality. the only downside was that a lot of performers didn't show up, but it really didn't harm my piece too much, especially since Chihara miraculously pulled in a pianist to fill in for the missing percussion part. of course, the piece wasn't perfect, and at the incredible rate it was improving i definitely wish to have just one more run-through, which would probably correct 95% of all the mistakes made. but for the time we had (about 25 minutes), i couldn't ask for any better. as for stupid mistakes on my part that effected the overall performance, i guess i could have scored out the percussion parts better if i had anticipated the problem with missing players, and i could have written the trumpet part in the right key (C instead of Bb) so their part wasn't a whole step off from everyone elses. but we took care of that before the final run, so it came out great. i can't wait to hear how the recording came out... probably next week. and i'll save my final comments on the piece until then. but for now, i'm very satisfied with how things came out. the imperfections serve to remind me that i'm not perfect and have plenty more to learn, while the things that came out well encourage me to continue doing my best.

02/19: just got back from Rendezvous after practice with Becca's team. yea i know, its a holiday and we're still practicing. it gave me a good reason to be back at school early. and i'm very glad i came back early, cuz this afternoon was full of surprises. but rewind a little bit first - had dimsum this morning with Robert & Catherine's family and Stephenie & Erica's family. dont really get to hang out with them too often these days. Steph(Li) came to meet @ Diamond Plaza to go back to school. on the 405 i spotted a small service lot near Santa Monic Blvd with plenty of exotics, including a silver F355 pulling out to the street. long story short, Mom kindly dropped me off on Santa Monica Blvd, and i spent the rest of the afternoon completing the long-awaited Santa Monic 02 trip. visited two Ferrari service shops and got plenty of pics, including 3 Mondials, a 400i Convertible, bunch of classic RRs and Bentleys, and more. the only disappointment was that a red 288GTO i shot was a replica. but still its built on a 308GTB, so i'm not exactly complaining. caught the bus back to Westwood and made it back to my room to chill for a bit before practice. oh and by the way, that silver F355 ended up appearing at Steph's apartment right when we dropped her off. friggin insane...

anyways, its week7 already. thats insane too. this is one of those weird little weeks where i'll probably end up losing sense of time because its so short. and as much as i'm still enjoying stress-free life after last week, the next few days will still be very busy. tomorrow is gonna be an intense 13-hours-on-campus day, with two 2-hour classes back to back, followed by the orchestra reading session, then Catalyst, then back to SMB for rehearsal for Michael Bang's piece. then Wendesday night is the undergrad composers recital. its weird how neither the recital nor the orchestra reading is making me stressed right now. maybe cuz it hasn't hit me that it's already Monday. i'm really looking forward to the reading session, and i hope my piece turns out well. by this time tomorrow i'll probably have a bunch of crazy emotions flying through my head - maybe good or maybe bad. who knows... i'll just have to wait and see.

02/18: Sunday night, Mom and Carol are both not home. thanks Howard for making awesome steak for dinner. last night (for Chinese New Year) Howard Carol Steph and Ben made the same dinner as a surprise for Grandma. i wasn't there cuz i was in Placentia with ClayMusic. the weirdest thing is that i've been to that church a bunch of times and know most of the youthgroup people. got to see Betty again during the awesome dumpling dinner the church provided. Cissy came in during the concert and was really surprised to see me on stage. talked with her and Demi afterwards... its so awesome playing in a concert knowing there's familiar faces in the crowd =). went to Banana Bay afterwards... i finally got my Thai fried rice that i've been craving for the longest time. it was totally worth staying up late for, even though i had to be at church at 9AM this morning for worship practice. (i was actually 5 minutes late cuz i went to shoot a 360 Spider on the way =) ). went to Garden Cafe w/ Ken after church... its been so long since we got to sit down and talk - most of that is my fault, cuz i've been way too busy and havent had any free time on weekends. but now that my orchestra piece is done and midterms are over, what else is there to stress about? =)

anyways... week6 update. Monday- breakfast with Jolene. practiced, orchestrated. lunch with Tammy. orchestration - last time showing Chihara my piece before its due. chorale. dinner with Robin & 5S gang. more orchestrating (editing the score). printed conductor score in Elizabeth's room. Tuesday - breakfast with Ran. Kinkos to bind "Exodus" score. practice, classes. final editing for parts. dinner with Anny n Tammy, then with the Catalyst gang. Catalyst. rehearsal with Michael Bang. printed parts @ Covel (see previous entry). studied...

yes, i said study. i know i dont do that often, cuz most of my classes are all about composing and practicing. only problem is that with a History midterm on Friday, i didn't have much of a choice. Wednesday - breakfast w/ Steph Liu n Tracy. practiced. walked to LuValle w/ Yinchi, borrowed her notes to study from and sacrificed lunch to copy them. orchestra project due - nobody knew we had to tape our parts, so we spent a whole hour doing that. so much for prestigious education... short Chorale rehearsal. more studying. floor dinner. more studying. Thursday- breakfast with Jolene and Ran. practiced/studied (no piano lesson). classes. studied w/ Nancy in the library. dinnered w/ Elizabeth. more studying. rehearsal w/ Michael. more studying @ Nancy's until like 1AM. she stayed up all night, but i went back to Hedrick to sleep =). Friday- breakfast with Jolene and Jared. a little more studying, then the midterm. lunch w/ Tammy n Hannah. chilled with Tammy n Elizabeth until organ class. dinnered w/ Elizabeth, followed by a trip to the Covel balcony...

yep... that balcony. the one i used to visit quite often two years ago when i went to Covel on a daily basis. i haven't been there since then, and it definitely brings back a lot of memories. except while i used to be under the pressure of an intense period of time that would dramatically change my life, this time i'm entirely freed - more freed than i've felt in a very long time. for as long as i can remember, i've been either intensely focused on my orchestra piece or worried about other performances/rehearsals/etc.... and then as soon as "Exodus" was near its completion, it was time to start studying for the history midterm. i know, it's just ONE midterm compared to many more that everyone else has, but we're expected to know a LOT for this class, and since i rarely (if ever) take notes, its kinda hard for me to study. (thanks Yinchi and Nancy for helping =) ). it took a while for that feeling of freedom to finally sink in to me - as i ate lunch i had to force myself to enjoy the fact that i love long, casual meals, just like i always used to. by nighttime the truth had hit me, and i was enjoying every bit of it. Elizabeth and i stood on that balcony, separated from the world, watching people walking and cars driving, ornamented by silhouettes of familiar buildings in the distance. we had nothing to stress about; all there was to do was relax and simply enjoy our very existences. back in Hedrick, we talked for the rest of the night, enjoying the rare occurence of stress-free living. as i packed my luggage to go home, thoughts from the week flashed across my mind. plenty of stress was involved, yet at the end all that stress only adds to the joy of my victory over it. alone in my room with the door shut, i spent my last 15 minutes singing songs of praise to God. never had i felt so free that i could sing with no concerns about people on the other side of the walls. the joy was too strong and i had to let it out. for such an intense several weeks of passionate work and stress, God deserved the glory, and i found no better way to end my week in Hedrick than to worship Him for what He had done.

02/13: just got back from the Covel computer lab after printing a crazy one hundred and fourty six pages of music. it definitely drew some attention from people who were either in shock because they've never seen so much music in their life or frustrated at having to wait forever to print their stuff (the printer ran out of paper shortly after i finished). and those pages are only the individual parts. special thanks to Jeff who gave me legal sized paper and Elizabeth who let me use her printer, i was able to have the conductor score finished by last night and binded at Kinkos this morning.

02/11: getting ready for another new schoolweek. as of a few hours ago, my orchestra piece is finally complete, needing only score editing before it's ready to turn in. i'm purposely saving the editing cuz tomorrow i'll be able to show Chihara my piece for final comments, which may make me have to redo any editing i do before then. and yes, it's still a lot of work. but at least i know i can make it in time for sure. now the biggest problem - i need a title. typically i prefer the times when i already have a title in mind when i write a piece (i.e. "Pasta Pies & Cats", "Don't Blame the Mirror"...), but there's always those times when the music just flows out of me and i end up not knowing what to call it. Jane is totally right when she tells me i have to think about what this music means to me. i wish it was as easy as she makes it sound. i definitely want something that expresses the mood of the piece while sounding somewhat attractive. but now that i said it, everyone's gonna expect something from me, and its only giving myself more pressure. great.... we'll see what happens. anyways... time for the week5 update.

Saturday- went to teach as usual, then played for Claymusic concert @ RHCCC. it's been soooo long since we had any concerts, at least ones that i participated in. the last time was um... the Arcadia concerts before school started? i used the months inbetween as a little break for myself to focus on attending church/cellgroup rather than always going out to serve. and now i definitely feel stronger than i did in the summer, just in time to go back to concert life. we have another concert this coming saturday in Placentia, followed by more in March and a tour in Toronto in April. i can't wait =). so anyways, the concert went very well, and i hope the upcoming ones will be the same. afterwards we went out for a late-night dinner - something i always look forward to. and when everyone at the table is drinking boba, i simply couldn't resist, so i got one too, deciding to stay up til 1:30AM to practice piano to allow the caffiene to wear out before i sleep.

Sunday- came back to UCLA right after church, partly because of the final Spring Sing rehearsal at night, and also just cuz i wanted more time to work on the you-know-what. it was only 3 when i got back, so i sporadically treated myself to an hour at the West Gate. and the result? lets see... Ford GT, Viper SRT-10, typical Astons/Maseratis/Bentleys, Morgan roadster, RR Silver Cloud convertible, Bentley S1/S2, Exige, Ferrari 400i convertible (does that even exist!? might be custom built), Ferrari Daytona Spider, yellow Carrera GT, and lots more. how's that for an hour? and i shot everything except the Daytona. so now i've officially concluded that on Sundays, Sunset Blvd is a better hunting spot than Beverly Hills. returned to Hedrick just as everyone gathered in the lounge to watch the Superbowl. i already had my fun for the day, so i took advantage of the silence in the hallways to make more progress on my orchestra piece. dinnered with Elizabeth, followed by more orchestrating. rehearsed for Spring Sing for one last time - actually the first time the whole band came together for practice. and it sounds great =). as much as i was stressed about my own work, hearing Becca's song go from unfinished to performance quality is definitely amazing and encouraging.

Monday - breakfast with Josh and Eric. practiced a little piano, mostly Michael Bang's piece (since i'm playing for him at the undergrad comp recital). orchestrated. lunch with Tammy. went to classes - presented my piece during orchestration class. its always encouraging when i find out people like what i'm doing. went to chorale but left early to rehearse with the Spring Sing gang one last time before moving our equipment out for the audition. it actually went pretty well. we'll find out the result soon. either way, we've had a lot of fun already =). had a little break during which i ate my dinner (ritz crackers and apple) before worship practice. orchestrated for the rest of the night.

Tuesday - breakfast with Victoria. practice & classes. talked with Andrea in the hallway after class - its not everyday you meet another Asian composer hehe. came back and worked on composition some more... got Bruin Cafe for dinner, then went to Catalyst. played for worship. went to SMB afterward to rehearse w/ Michael Tom and Max. i hate how i suck at learning new music, so it was impossible for me to do well at the first rehearsal. sorry guys... i promise the next rehearsal will be awesome.

Wednesday - the ultimate do-or-die day. as much as i thought my finish-the-piece-by-Wednesday-night goal was unrealistic, i still wanted to achieve it, and had plenty of time to do so thanks to Orchestration class beign cancelled. so aside from breakfast with Jolene, a little practicing in the morning, lunch with Sue, Chorale rehearsal (my only 'class' of the day), and dinner with Tammy, all i did was sit in front of the computer and stare at a million notes on Sibelius. somehow i have managed to dig myself so deeply into this piece that nothing can take my focus away from it - our room was filled with people watching the basketball game, and the only real sacrifice i had to make was looking antisocial by hiding in my headphones and writing music the entire time. later in the night, a surprise smoothie from Elizabeth and visit from Jane definitely helped. so did a few Ritz crackers i took upstairs with me from dinner. long story short, i managed to achieve my unrealistic goal, finishing at around midnight with just enough time to cram my other homework (for comp class) before going to sleep.

Thursday - breakfast with Jolene and Ran. piano lesson. re-took senior portrait cuz something went wrong with their CD and my files got lost. i guess its a good thing, cuz it gave me a free shot at taking better pictures than the previous attempt. chilled with a bunch of Music20B people in the hallway after their midterm. gosh i miss theory... anyways, went to class, composition class was awesome (see previous entry). came back and did more editing on my piece, then went to floor dinner. i always find out about floor dinner way too late, so this is actually the first one i went to all quarter (maybe 2nd? i cant remember =/ ). orchestrated some more... sat in the hallway for a while to get away from the computer and use my head more. went to 5S to meet with the IV gang at midnight to sing happy birthday to Richard =). a little more orchestrating. sleep.

Friday - breakfast with Jolene. after a long week of nonstop work, i decided to allow myself the weekly Friday morning vacation, this time to Westwood. it was actually pretty nice... now the quarter is halfway over and i've covered all the locations i wanted to hit on Friday mornings - 405 Freeway, West gate, East gate, and Westwood. practiced piano a little before music history discussion. didn't eat lunch cuz there was nobody to eat with =/. but i had some food in my room anyways... and this quarter i'm actually using more swipes than i have, so it's good to save a few once in a while. so i had lunch in my room while working on my wall. yep, finally working on that wall again, thanks to a huge cardboard box i found about to be thrown away. went to organ class w/ Elizabeth. me Elizabeth and Clarisse were theonly people there - but it's nice cuz we get more attention that way =). i practiced about 15 minutes this whole week... hopefully that will change as soon as the orchestra piece is turned in. dinnered @ Rieber with Elizabeth. spent the rest of the night orchestrating, then packed up and went home.

Saturday - got up early to fix my car - it needed a new battery... and now it can actually start again =). there's a chance this might be the last time i pay to get the car fixed... since i'm commuting to school next year, i'm not against the idea of getting a new car (even though a few things still make me really hesitant to do so). we'll see... anyways, went to do a whole mess of teaching, followed by PACT at night. got to talk n pray with Robert - its always great to have time to share and pray for each other... i always feel like the small groups i've gone to throughout the years don't emphasize that enough. of course, the only thing i really had on my mind was my orchestra piece. but a little prayer can never hurt =).

Sunday(today) - went to church... brought Michael's piece and my orchestra score with me so i could look at it before/after service. practiced with Claymusic afterwards for this coming weekend's concert. went home for dinner and came back to school at around 8:30 to do more orchestrating. now that everything is ready to present to my class tomorrow, i can let myself relax (a little bit). but still, i need a title. hopefully that comes to me soon. this week is definitely gonna be another crazy one - as soon as i turn in my orchestra piece, i'll start cramming for Friday's history midterm. anyone wanna study with me? please? i'm definitely looking forward to the long weekend - midterms will be over, orchestra piece will be done... what else can i ask for? oh and i haven't decided if i'll be at school or at home on President's day, so if anyone wants to do anything, let me know early! =). ok... time to shut up and go to sleep. goodnight!

02/08: having studied with Professor Lefkowitz for over two years, i'm come to understand how much he values class participation. as the quietest one in a class of four students, it's no surprise that i get put on the spot quite often. this is worst when i get asked a question that i simply cannot answer. example: questions about movies. i haven't been in a movie theater in over a year, and i'm probably one of the only people in this country that can survive without a TV. and by now i'm already quite used to being awkwardly confronted for being the only one that cannot answer seemingly basic questions. as much as i take pride in my unique ability to stay close to reality without being tainted by popular culture, it definitely makes me feel out of place sometimes, especially in places where everyone has certain expectations that i simply cannot meet.

yet there are always those moments during composition class when i feel like i totally belong where i am. Professor Lefkowitz usually comments very positively about the melodies i wrote for homework, and often uses them as examples to prove his points. several times this quarter i felt uninspired to compose, and in the end the finished work that i thought was worthless received surprisingly good remark. last night after i finally put aside my orchestra piece after working on it almost the entire day, i spent about 15 minutes writing a few measures that would serve as the beginning of a string trio project for Professor Lefkowitz's class. i was far too exhausted to put much effort into it, and did it only because i needed something to present in class. i had no expectations for the class other than to be put in more awkward situations when i didn't have the right words to say. the time came for me to take out my homework, and the professor's response to it overshadowed every single moment i've ever felt out of place in his class. i've always respected Professor Lefkowitz as an instructor and composer; he never fails to have plenty of reasoning to back up everything he says. but to hear him say "I have no criticism" to eight measures of music that i put together effortlessly is not something i could have ever expected.

clearly there's something going on in my head that's different from other people. after completing countless small composition assignments for various classes, many people (both professors and students) have begun to comment that i create a unique 'world' for my music, and they generally respond very positively to it. their words have helped me realize that i do in fact have my own unique musical style, just like every composer should in order to stand out. Professor Chihara often curiously asks me where i find the inspiration for all my melodies. to be honest, i really don't know, and i'm nowhere near being wise enough to be able to explain exactly what's going on in my head. but there's one thing i know for sure - with my severely limited knowledge of popular culture, including important figures and works in the music world, the music i write is straight out of my heart, untainted by what's already been done. and where this music will lead me is something only God can answer.

as for now, this is my prayer - God, help me to be humble, whether receiving criticism or praise. don't let a great remark distract me from the potential to make something even greater. continue to nurture my music according to Your plan. and no matter where this music leads me, may it always bring You glory.

02/08: long time no update. i'm writing this during music history class cuz its the only 'free time' i can really have. anybody wanna guess why i've been so busy lately? (hint - orchestra =) ). yep... if you've talked to me anytime in the past few days i probably mentioned something about my very unrealistic goal - to finish my piece (from beginning to end... still needing a lot of changes) by yesterday night. amazingly enough, i actually achieved that goal. thinking about it now, i think i've forgotten what it means to have free time. free time now literally means sitting in front of the computer working with Sibelius. and since it's actually a lot of fun, i dont really feel overworked until i realize how tired i am at the end of each day. but amidst the exhaustion i have to say that above all else, i'm very excited about this project. writing something for a full orchestra is like nothing i've ever done before - and to have control over something so large requires much more than what it has taken me to compose anything i've written prior to this. never have i put so much passion and emotion into a project. and this is my first project ever where i'm able to sit down and immediately be focused without wasting time to center my attention. of course, there's still plenty of editing to do, not to mention coming up with a title, so i can't exactly let myself relax just yet. the piece will be turned in next Wednesday, and the recording session will be the week after. it's gonna be awesome, but only if i work hard enough...

so anyways... i havent exactly had time to do the week4 update yet. its a bit late, but since i have half an hour of classtime to kill, might as well get it out of the way. Sunday- Howard brought me back to school. orchestrated. dinner with Elizabeth and Jane. more orchestrating. got a new hot cup cuz my old one broke (it's like less than year old =/) so now i can have tea again =). Monday- breakfast with Jolene Jared and Janelle. practiced and orchestrated. lunch with Tammy & walked to class together. dinner w/ Sue. orchestrated. Tuesday - breakfast with Ran. walked to class with Dianne. practiced, classes, orchestrated. dinnered with IV gang followed by Catalyst. orchestrated. Wednesday - breakfast with Jared and Eric. practiced. orchestrated. lunch with Michelle. classes. walk back w/ Jane. dinner with Tammy. orchestrated. got a smoothie from Elizabeth =). Thursday - breakfast with Jolene. piano lesson & classes. orchestrated. dinner with Michelle and Jeff. practiced for Spring Sing. orchestrated. Friday - breakfast with Josh and Jolene. weekly "vacation" at the East Gate. class. lunch with Richard and Tammy. orchestrated. organ class w/ special presentattion. dinner w/ Elizabeth. orchestrated. went home.

that was my week in a single paragraph. seems like my life can get pretty repetitive sometimes. but that's what happens when you're a music major =). at least i only have one midterm to worry about. anyways... sorry if i gave you the impression lately that i'm becoming antisocial. if you want to understand how i feel, try writing your own piece for a full orchestra - in two weeks. good luck. hehe... ok, time to shut up cuz class is gonna end soon. bye!

02/01: amidst the stress of midterms starting to kick in, its always nice to take a few minutes to slow down a little bit. my orchestra project is coming along very well, and i expect to have the entire piece finished sometime next week, leaving only revisions and editing to do before the reading session. i still refuse to let myself remember exactly when it's due, so i won't end up procrastinating. as for midterms, yes i only have one. lots of people wanted to kill me, until i told them my project will end up about as thick as an entire course reader. so yea, being a music major isn't necessarily easy. but i'm definitely loving it...

last week at PACT we learned about letting go of our worries and giving them to God. i'm starting to realize that even though people often see me as very easygoing and worry-free, i actually do stress a lot, especially about schoolwork. it's fine when i'm actually working on something, but when i'm trying to relax and realize there's so much on my mind that i need to do but am not doing at the moment, it makes me extremely frustrated. there's definitely a lot on my mind now - music history quiz tomorrow, orchestration project, undergrad composer's recital (still need to find performers if i'm doing it), spring sing audition (rehearsal tonight), and this Saturday's Claymusic concert. as you can see, my life clearly revolves around music. hehe..

anyways, this was just a random entry i felt like writing to take a break from orchestrating. time to shut up and get back to work. bye!

01/27: back at home and taking a break from my insane Saturday schedule. dont worry, i actually woke up this time, but probably only cuz i decided to bring my alarm clock home from school from now on, cuz it sounds like a fire alarm and so i'll wake up for sure. theres nobody home right now except me and my dog. and the dog's sleeping... so i might as well take the time to do the weekly update. there's no rule that i HAVE TO wait until tomorrow right? =)

Sunday - went to check out the "fixed" piano in Hedrick with Steph(Liu). worked much better than the last time i saw it, but still a bit weird, so i chose to use the keyboard for the performance. practiced a little bit, realized my music was in F and Steph's was in G. weird...

Monday - breakfast with Steph and Sophia. practiced piano and organ, came back to do homework. lunched with Michelle(Panh) and her friend Jessica. walked with jessica to class. my harp composition came out really well =). Tammy called me for dinner while i was walking back, and i just happened to run into Anny too, so we all ate together. final rehearsal with Steph at night, then spent the rest of the night homeworking...

Tuesday - breakfast, practice, classes... another composition assignment that came out very well. i'm starting to see my own strengths and weaknesses now - i'm good at writing short melodys, but bad at large-scale stuff. maybe thats what i should work on more. dinnered with Steph then got ready for the Hedrick talent show. it was lots of fun... thanks everyone for coming to watch us =).

Wednesday - breakfast with Jolene and Ran. practiced piano and organ (like i've been doing every day this week =) ), then came back for homework. went to Covel to print it out before lunch and caught a Maybach parked at the dorms. lunch w/ Sue. classes (orchestration and chorale). my vibe piece came out well too. so apparently some rich son in Beverly Hills is throwing a party on Saturday for his dad's 76th birthday, and he invited the UCLA Chorale to go sing happy birthday a few times - for FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. too bad i can't go cuz it's too last minute for me to stay over the weekend. but the people who can go will be boarding the bus in a couple hours. hope you guys have fun without me! =). anyways... back to Wednesday. walked back with Jane, dinnered with Jane and Elizabeth. i became Jane's "cabbage" for the next hour or so as she practiced hehe. went back to do homework, got driven out by the fire alarm, then more homework...

Thursday - breakfast with Jolene. no piano lesson this week, so i actually practiced a lot, with half an hour remaining before history class. took a walk around campus visiting No Ordinary People proxy stations =). composition class was cancelled cuz Lefko was sick. for me, that means a major twist in my schedule - ending class at 1 means i get a very rare opportunity to go to Beverly Hills for a few hours before the sun starts to set! went back to Hedrick right after history class, grabbed my scooter, and headed out immediately. as for the outcome, lets just say this is probably the best Thursday hunt ever - so good that it almost feels like a weekend. Lingenfelter Corvette C6 ZO6, 360 Challenge Stradale, Maybach 57S, Carrera GT, SLR McLaren... is that not good enough? actually, there were TWO SLR's (neither of which belongs to Bijan), but i knew of the second one only cuz it appeared in the background of one of my pics. so technically my camera saw it but i didnt. shh... dun tell the Car-Parazzi people or they'll kill me! hehe... speaking of Car-Parazzi, i ran into Mrs. Dobrofsky in the middle of the street while taking pics of the Carrera GT! turns out she had nothing to do and decided to come find cars by herself! haha... oh and while i was waiting to cross a street some girl shouted "Calvin" from her car, then when i looked up she turned away and wouldn't let me see who she was. weird... i never thought there would be a day when people start recognizing me around Beverly Hills. haha... anyways... went back to campus, ran into Anita and Jessica (from freshman year). i literally have not talked to her since freshman year. its crazy that we still remember each other. dinnered at Deneve with Sara Emily and Ky. a small reunion, but still lots of fun. we realized we were really bad at naming states and capitols hehe. went back to Hedrick for homework, the chilled with Elizabeth and Jane - its awesome to have fellow music freaks who also dont want to do homework hehe.

Friday - breakfast with Jolene and her friend Connie, who turns out to be Emily(Shih)'s best friend. so we knew about each other for a long time but never met before. this is what i love about being at UCLA. too bad i'm getting old and must leave soon =/. because of the sponaneous Beverly Hills trip, i decided to cancel this week's Friday Morning hunting trip (originally planned to be at the East Gate) to make up for lost homework time. and i got a LOT of work done. its easy to work when nobody else is awake hehe. wnet to history class, took another stupid quiz, lunched with Richard and Tammy. did homework, went to organ class with Elizabeth. we both got a ride back from Anahit afterwards. she was too lazy to walk across campus for class so she paid 8 bucks to park near SMB. haha... dinnered with Elizabeth @ Covel - it's the last dining hall we haven't eaten at after organ class (since Hedrick's closed. but we always go there anyways). met with Becca & gang to rehearse for Spring Sing. the song's coming out really well now... we have a cool intro, and the only problem is that it's a bit too long and we have to cut some parts. a couple more rehearsals next week should make it perfect =). went back to Hedrick, packed, and came home.

soo anyways, it's 1:30PM right now and i'm looking forward to a highly productive afternoon - teaching, eating, homework, random housework, and lots of other stuff, including writing this entry. now that it's done, i can go make myself some lunch =)

01/21: SNU / week 2 update. this has been one insane weekend - went home really late on Friday night (something i still have to get used to), slept at like 2AM. woke up by myself the next morning without an alarm - a pleasant surprise, until i realized it was 10:30 and i was supposed to be at work three hours ago. now for those who knew me for a long time - how many times do you remember me ever missing something important because i woke up late? if you can't count it with your fingers on one hand, you're making stuff up. and thats including all the times i didnt make it to breakfast last year (which was voluntary in the first place). my fairly new alarm clock currently has its batteries removed, and i dont plan on using it ever again. it's cool and fun, but it simply doesn't serve its purpose. as for my work, fortunately everything worked out and i was able to finish make-up lessons by the end of the day, as well as go to worship practice with Steph's team at night. but still, it was one hell of a morning. anyways, time to get the weekly update out of the way...

Monday (MLK holiday) - nobody really knew what the dining hall hours were, but 11AM is always a safe time to go eat, since everything is supposed to be open for lunch. me n Elizabeth went to Hedrick and found that it was closed, and being the indecisive people we were, we asked my coin, who pointed us to Rieber. also closed. then we went to Covel. closed. what da hell!! they could have at least posted signs a few days earlier like they usually do when there's schedule changes. but fortunately DeNeve was open, so we did have a place to eat =). why eat so early? cuz immediately afterwards i grabbed my scooter and cruised to Beverly Hills! i almost didn't make it, cuz i forgot the Golden Globe awards were that night, and all the sidewalks were shut down at the Hilton. almost got in a fight with the guards on one side of the street, so i jaywalked across Wilshire (as sort of a sign of protest) and talked to the guards on the other side, and they let me through to get to the Triangle. had an awesome time with Spyder, Dash, their parents, Alec, and Jake. thanks Mr & Mrs Dobrofsky for the Subway and the ride home. even though most of us seemed quite discontent with the streets, i achieved my goal for the trip - one Continental GTC. other highlights include several Maranellos, a blue Gallardo, and a 300SL Gullwing. returned to Hedrick with enough time to rest for a bit before eating early and going to worship practice for IV. everything went well except the fact that because of one person (who will remain unnamed), the whole team had to wait about an hour to get a ride back to campus. but we had fun keeping each other company. spent the rest of the night working on my orchestra project. every time i attempt to start, i find myself staring at a billion staves not knowing where to begin. so i decided to walk around the hallways jotting down outlines of my piece while saying hi to people. and it worked pretty well. maybe i'll do that again sometime...

Tuesday - breakfast with Victoria Tracy Ran and Michelle. having lots of people to eat with always makes my day. practiced piano, went to classes, ate dinner early then went to Catalyst. i got to see John Teter again since he was speaking. worship went really well - i love the new room we're in! walked back with Hedrick people, talked with Elizabeth and did homework the rest of the night.

Wednesday - breakfast with Janelle and Jolene. everyone thinks i'm crazy for getting breakfast at 8AM even though i didn't have class until 3 (cuz Chihara is gone this week). but i had a very very productive morning - practiced piano for an hour, organ for 45 minutes, and went back to HEdrick and finished a lot of homework. lunched with Sue Michelle Karifa and Sunna(how to spell?) at Deneve. (seems like i've been going to Deneve a lot this quarter...) went to Chorale - my only class of the day, and it's not even really a class =). apparently it hailed/snowed during that time. pretty crazy... walked back with Jane. chilled for a while, then dinnered with Jane n her friends Amanda and Lindsay. Jane ended up coming over to study for the rest of the night, even though most of the time she was singing and watching TV =). but hey, im not gonna complain about having incredible live music in the room while studying...

Thursday - breakfast with Jolene and Ran. ran into Candace (next door neighbor from soph year) on Bruinwalk n talked until i was almost late for my piano lesson. so much for warming up hehe. owell... luckily the Prelude & Fugue i'm working on isn't nearly as technically demanding as the Beethoven Sonata. and somehow i was so excited after my lesson that i decided to practice for an hour immediately afterwards. went to classes; Lefko liked my composition assignment again =). maybe i'll use it in a piece eventually. practiced organ after class until Elizabeth finished her lesson, then walked back together. dinnered with Tammy Anny and Richard. Jane came over to do homework again, but fell asleep (while i was writing the previous entry) hehe. went to Canyon Point (Julie's room) to rehearse for Spring Sing. oops, did i say that out loud? =) IV's very own Becca wrote a song and is trying out fr Spring Sing, and she already recruited a band to play with her. and i'm lucky enough to be part of it. the song is awesome, and after fixing up some chords it's even better =). can't wait to hear what it sounds like after we finalize it more...

Friday - breakfast with Jolene and Ran. spent the morning at the 405 - pretty stupid to be honest, since the cars were going full speed. i still suck at aerial shots... maybe i'll just wait until after daylight savings and go in the evening like i did last year. it sucks seeing so much but not successfully shooting anything. went to SMB early to study with Denise before our ridiculous history quiz that the professor did not prepare us for at all. turns out it was an all-or-nothing exam (either A or F), and luckily i passed it =). lunched with Tammy in Hedrick, then i ran into Emily who i haven't seen since last schoolyear (cuz she went to study abroad). we ended up eating for TWO HOURS. and we had sooo much food it took up pretty much the whole table. i went back to 5N just in time to grab my stuff and walk with Elizabeth to organ class. another awesome class, except nobody took the "practice right after a lesson" advice hehe. had dinner with Elizabeth and Steph Liu. then went to grab my keyboard/amp and migrate to 516U (study room) to rehearse. rehearse what? next Tuesday (1/23) Steph will be singing at the Hedrick talent show, and i'll be playing piano for her =). before you think of an excuse for not going - she sings so well that almost every time we reached the end of the song a mob of people would open the door, eager to find out who was singing. Elizabeth was there listening to us too, and we ended up talking for the next few hours until i realized it was time for me to pack and get ready to go home.

...as for the weekend, i already covered most of what happened at the top of the entry. today revolved largely around music - playing for Steph's team during service, then rehearsing with Claymusic in the afternoon. yup, its that time again when Claymusic is getting ready for another series of concerts, beginning with a weekend in Atlanta (next weekend - i'm not going though), followed by another concert on 2/3 at RHCCC (all you RHCCC people that i know better be there! =) ), and several more in the near future. it was amazing how we remembered every song almost perfectly, so rehearsal actualyl ended very early. that gave me plenty of time to take care of stuff at home to get ready to go back to school. and now i'm here in my dorm room once again, ready for another schoolweek. ok, thats the end, time for me to do homeworK!

01/18: very busy week so far, but i'm surviving quite well. this is a pretty random entry, and i'm just taking a break from studying. Jane's supposed to be doing homework too but she fell asleep =/. hehe... for those who care, Golden Triangle 17 went pretty well. the rest of the guys (Spyder Dash Alec and Jake) all see pretty discontent, but we had a lot of fun. as for school stuff, i still havent heard about whats gonna happen with my class schedule, but i think i'm gonna settle with what i have now (19 units). its great having a password to use the organ studio/practice room anytime i want. i still suck, but i can't wait until class tomorrow =). maybe if i get enough work done tonight, i'll go hunting tomorrow morning. anyways... despite my busy schedule i did manage to finish editing the pictures from winter retreat. thanks Alice for consistently reminding me to hurry up. there's still lots of other pics i need to post (updated college pics, thanksgiving holiday, cue pics with Sue), along with the 'downloads' section, all of which i hope to have done in the next couple weeks. for now, its time to get back to work. bye!

01/14: week 1 update. the first week of the quarter always feels somewhat long, but i see that in a good way. new classes, new teachers, new schedules, and a fresh attitude to kick off the new quarter. for me, week 1 usually involves random unexpected curveballs that God throws at me, and over time i've learned to catch them quite well. but i'll get to those details later. let me rewind first to um... the end of winter break!

Saturday - got a call from Anna to go hang out. having just recovered from sickness, i was willing to go just about anywhere i'm invited to. it's always disappointing that in the beginning of winter break (or spring break, etc) so many people would be excited and say they want to hang out and catch up, but at the end nobody takes the initiative and nothing happens. i know much of that is my fault, especially since i've been too sick to do anything. but it's such an amazing feeling to realize that a friend from high school is still keeping in touch with me right now. so me n Anna went to Kiwiberri (you know, Pinkberry, Snowberry, etc... they're taking over the world...). got some awesome frozen yogurt and sat down n talked. we were able to pick up right where we left off - sharing our lives, feelings, problems, everything... and i'm sure we have so much more to talk about if we have more time. maybe another holiday... anyways, then i came home, packed for school, ate, went to cellgroup, packed some more, and slept.

Sunday - returned to UCLA right after church. Mom Carol and Howard all went with me cuz we all wanted Pinkberry =). being back in Hedrick early gave me plenty of time to unpack and settle in. Jane came to visit me n Richard, and we chilled n talked n ate peanuts n watched Spiderman2. dinnered with Jane Richard and Connor - first swipe of the quarter! =). after dinner i started worrying about my schedule problem, which i discovered only hours ago. so to sum it all up, i was supposed to take both Counterpoint (with Krouse, Mon/Wed 11AM) and Music History (Tues/Thurs 11AM) this quarter, but Krouse switched his class to Tues/Thurs so i couldn't take it. and i need to take it to graduate. at the same time, i was worried about another class that Elizabeth told me about over winter break. its something i've been wanting to learn for as long as i can remember, but i wasn't sure if i had time for unnecessary units. and i also couldn't reach the professor, so i didn't know whether or not i'd be able to take the class or not. in case i end up in neither class i want, my only option would be to take my last upper div GE. so i spent the whole night researching on possible GEs. great thing to do the night before classes start huh? thanks Jane and Elizabeth for keeping me company. by the way, they might be roommates next year, so i think i've found myself a place to hang out during the days i have class =).

Monday - 8AM breakfast, just like i've been doing all last year and this year. ate with Tracy Jeff and Jolene. the good thing about not being in counterpoint was that i didn't have class until 1PM. spent the morning taking care of random business - making an appointment for senior portrait, practicing a little piano, meeting with Al Bradley about my schedule, going to the A&A office to take care of my DPR, etc... oh and i got to eat lunch too! ate with Tammy and Lisa at Covel. walked to campus with Tammy - we were early, so i sat in her class first before going to SMB for mine (orchestration). i'm gonna have a lot of composing work to do this quarter, but being in class actually makes me excited about it. went to Chorale afterwards - we're singing Irish songs this quarter. pretty awesome songs, besides the fact that they're soooo depressing. dinnered at Olive Garden with Anny Tammy Lisa Doris Dean and Richard. went to Pinkberry afterwards. somehow i managed to have dinner again with Steph and Ernest at DeNeve not long after returning to Hedrick. Howard n Gloria came and they all went to Pinkberry (again!), but i had some work to do so i didn't go. since i was already at DeNeve, i stopped by Sue and Michelle's to visit. spent the rest of the night working on my schedule.

Tuesday - breakfast with Tracy Ran and Jolene. practiced piano, then took my senior portrait. it's amazing that i remembered to make my appointment yesterday, cuz it turned out to be the last day; people were trying to get a time slot when i was filling out my papers, and everything was full already. poor them.... spent a few minutes on Sunset Blvd, then went to class (History, Composition). i got to talk to Krouse, who was very nice about my situation, taking the blame for the schedule change and offering to help work something out for me. i was really frustrated at the lack of communication between him and Al Bradley, but as long as they'll take care of it, i shouldn't complain. back in Hedrick, Jane told me she had an audition the next day and wanted me to listen to her practice. so that's what i did the whole afternoon. practicing for what? i think i have finally successfully converted her to being a music major =). dinnered with IV people, then went to Catalyst (it's on Tuesdays this quarter).

Wednesday - breakfast with Jolene and Carmen. walked to campus part of the way with Hannah, then with Jessica and Tracy. ran into Victoria outside SMB, and since neither of us had class we walked around campus n talked until i decided to go practice piano. went back to the dorms for an early lunch, then met with Jane at SMB for her final practice before the audition. then she practiced and auditioned and i went to class, and we met up again for Chorale and to walk back to 5N. floor dinner at 6 - our table was so long it almost stretched from one side of the PDR to the other side. i'm so glad our floor is still so enthusiastic after a whole quarter passed. spent the night working on composition n talking with Elizabeth. as for my schedule, things were finally starting to settle down, even though it required a lot more trouble than i thought. Counterpoint class is still up in the air, and i already emailed Krouse to make sure he's taking care of it. as for the other class, Al Bradley has allowed me to take it for elective credit, making me want it even more. only problem is that when i finally reached the professor, i found out the class was on Friday evening. after a lot of hesitation, i decided to spend my Fridays on campus this whole quarter, going home late at night, and teaching starting at 7:45AM(!!!) Saturdays. i sure hope i'll be able to handle it...

Thursday - breakfast with Jolene and Ran, then talked with Angie until we both had to leave. went to SMB with just enough time to warm up a few minutes before my piano lesson. had an hour break before class, during which i went to Westwood to get my course reader. history class. composition class. Lefkowitz actually liked my first homeowrk assignment =). i made a spontaneous decision to take Sunset Blvd back to Hedrick and wait at the West Gate for a little while. the little while turned out to be a whole hour - there were soo many awesome surprises, the best being a black Murcielago which i shot and videotaped. (it's Featured Video on Car-Parazzi =) ). dinnered with Anny and Tammy, then studied with them. visited 5S and chilled in Michelle Yolie and Jaymie's room. turns out they have a Nintendo 64. played MarioKart with Yolie Jaymie and Eric, and some other games too. i like how none of us are hardcore gamers, so it's all just for fun and not overly competitive like a lot of games can get these days. ran into Joy and her friend in the lounge n chilled with them, then went back to my room to sleep.

Friday - breakfast with Jolene and Ran. there's no better way to start a good day than with a good breakfast. and this is the first time in a very very long time that i have people to eat breakfast with for an entire week. for those who didn't know, i go to Rieber every day at 8AM (maybe 8:10), so stop by any day adn eat with me =). spent the morning on Sunset - a very boring morning that i considered a waste of time. went to history discussion, then lunched with Anny Lisa and Tammy. since i wasn't satisfied with the morning, i went to Sunset again, this time all the way to the freeway. two Scagliettis made me happy. and i saw a 4-car accident happen on the freeway from the bridge - looks just like it does on TV. pretty scary. the whole freeway was closed for a little while, but luckily nobody was hurt. made it back to Hedrick just in time to grab my stuff and head out to my 3PM-5PM class.

so what is this class all about? Phantom of the Opera, the wedding march, and everything of or related to J.S. Bach- those are the three things that come to my mind when i think of organs. anyone who knows me well should know it's one of my random dreams in life to go to an old cathedral and play on a huge pipe organ. it's one of those things that lots of people these days don't know how to appreciate. i'm among the few who love it. but of course, i can't exactly play until i learn how first. (and no it's not the same as playing piano). special thanks to Elizabeth, i found out during winter break that Professor Bull (organ professor) is opening his class to non-organ majors. now we're both in the class, along with four others (mostly piano majors). the second i entered the organ studio (which i've never seen before), surrounded entirely by brick wall with a pipe organ in the middle, i found myself back in the 16th century. it was such an amazing feeling. and i haven't been this excited about any class in a very long time. in a few days we should all be getting passwords to use the organ studio anytime we want. i can't wait. walked back with Elizabeth Anahit and Nancy. dinnered with Elizabeth and Nancy at DeNeve. it's always awesome to eat with fellow music geeks - not something that happens often, since most music majors apparently don't like dorms very much. talked with Elizabeth the rest of the night while packing for home. then Mom came to pick me up (around 11PM) and i went home to sleep.

Saturday (yesterday) - waking up so early to teach was very intense, but i survived it =). went to the church coffeehouse at night. its my first time, since i couldn't make the last one. i totally love it - the level of professionalism is like nothing i've ever seen at a church-sponsored event. oh and at the end me n Steph performed a song =). that was fun... Marcus wants us to be part of the next one (in march) too.

Today - went to church (Sunday school & service), chilled a little afterwards then came home to eat, and now i'm writing this thing. one thing i love about church is that every Sunday as i worship God, i feel like things have changed so much in the past week - especially near the beginning of the quarter. by next Sunday i'm sure a lot more will change. maybe my classes will all be settled. maybe God will throw more curveballs at me to see if i'm ready to catch them. maybe i'll be happy, or maybe i won't. but that's what makes life so adventurous. all i can do is wait and see what God will do next. Carol's resting cuz shes not feeling well, and meanwhile i'm stealing her computer to write this so i dont have to do it at night when i'm back at school. but now i'm about done, and there's plenty of other work i need to do, so i'll shut up now. bye!

01/09: couple of random things i need to blab about. first of all, a lot has happened in the past few hours regarding my class schedule. so far, things are actually working out well, though it's quite different from what i had expected and may actually effect my weekend schedule as well. more details on that later. but there's still plenty of details i need to work out, so keep praying that everything will be settled as soon as possible.

another random thing - winter retreat pictures! i know lots of people are dying to see them, so here's a quick update. i'm currently in the process of selecting which pictures to post, and there's a lot more good pictures than i want to post, so i'll have to figure out which ones to cut. after that it shouldn't take too long to finish. keep bugging me about it and i'll remember to hurry up =)

yet another random thing - lots of people have been asking me to do random music stuff recently. i just want to make it clear that generally, i expect at least a full week's notice for any performance/rehearsal/etc. i hate to sound so strict, but there's several reasons i do this. as a music major i'm literally working on music from morning til night, and most people don't understand that it takes a lot of preparation before i'm able to play through a piece/song from beginning to end. professionals can usually sight-read music pretty easily, but i'm nowhere near that level, and it's extremely stressful for me to be forced to do last-minute work. i hate to play music i know i'm not ready to play, especially at the expense of others (namely people i'm playing with). if it's a paid event or job opportunity, i'll probably make exceptions. otherwise i strive for quality of music in both academics and extracurriculars, and expect sufficient time to practice and prepare.

ok, last random thing. this coming monday (1/15) is MLK Holiday, and i'm actually gonna be here in LA. why? after a highly successful group carspotting trip last November, i've decided to do it again. as usual, it will be in Beverly Hills, probably early afternoon. it's an open invite to everyone on Car-Parazzi and everyone else who wants to come. last time i had an awesome time with Spyder Jake Kevin Dash and Alec, talking and walking while enjoying our common hobby for a whole afternoon. and for those who are skeptical, BH on weekdays isn't nearly as bad as most people think. go to my ECPG and see for yourself =).

ok, that's all for now. time to shut up and go to sleep. goodnight!

01/09: first entry of the quarter. i'll save the day-by-day summary stuff for another entry (SNU?), but it's great to be back in Hedrick again. sure, school is stressful, but i love the beginning-of-the-quarter energy - being able to stay awake in class, having people to eat breakfast with, etc... at the same time i find myself a lot more stressed than i thought i would be at this point. seems like every quarter something unexpected always happens in the beginning, and eventually gets worked out. once again, God has pushed me off a cliff, knowing i'm strong enough to believe that He'll catch me at some point before i hit the bottom. there's been a really big mix-up with my schedule this quarter, and i'm especially worried cuz the decisions i make now will directly effect whether or not i'll be able to graduate as expected. i've done everything i could and haven't really made much progress so far. one good thing is that Catalyst this quarter is moved to Tuesday nights, and any stressful day can be cured (at least momentarily) by a time of fellowship and worship. God reminded me of one thing - during this whole problem with my schedule, i haven't done anything wrong at all. it wasn't my fault since the beginning, so it must have happened for a reason. and i'm excited to see what that reason will be. please pray for everything to work out well (ask if u want details). as much as i love my life to be so adventurous, it's definitely very scary. but then again, when everything is taken care of, it's gonna be another heck of an awesome story.

01/05: it's 1:30 AM right now and i'm writing my first entry of 2007. im only up this late cuz i just finished my first boba of 2007 at a little after midnight, meaning if i sleep too early i'm risking lying in bed all night feeling hyper and unable to fall asleep. it's been an interesting year so far, but i'll get to that later. first, for those who care, i've made some changes to this site to kick off the new year. the long-overdue Wallpapers section is finally done (under 'extras' - a new section i plan to expand more in the future). but to make up for the time, the page is all new, with a new easier-to-browse format and more than double the amount of wallpapers as before. new pics are from Idyllwild, China, Mammoth Lakes, Catalina, and more. hope you enjoy them! =). also updated is the ECPG (Exotic Car Photo Gallery), which i haven't had time to work on all quarter. more than 350 of my most recent car photos are added, even though if you care and you read my journal then you've probably seen the best of the pics already. some other changes are planned for my site this year, including a few small visual updates and possibly a few new sections. as for pictures, everything from winter break (and some older pics) should be up whenever i have time next quarter =). as for winter retreat pics, i was gonna wait til this Sunday to get all the pics i needed, but thanks to the awesome cooperation of everyone who volunteered to donate pics, i already have everything i need, so i'll get started on that as soon as i have time (cuz i know lots of people are waiting to see them =) ).

so anyways, about my life since retreat... it's been pretty interesting like i mentioned. in good and bad ways i guess. on Sunday (12/31) even though i was tired like crazy from retreat, i wanted to stay up past midnight for new year's. mom went to the church event, but Carol and i didn't go cuz they never formally announced it to the English congregation. so we just chilled at home... i was chatting online and Juliann said she had nothing to do too, so she ended up spontaneously coming over (from Upland!) to spend new year's eve with me =). apparently she's not sick of me from retreat yet. we just chilled n talked then said happy new year, watched a little TV, then talked some more. hehe... oh and thanks to Ally for being the first to call and say happy new year. she called at 10:30, which wasn't too early since she was in St. Louis =). me n Juliann called Debra after midnight too... great to talk to her again =).

went to the mall on Monday with Carol Mom and Grandma. i got my 2007 car calendar just in time - and since its already 2007 it was 50% off =). shot a new 360 Spider on the way home - first exotic of the year! hehe... Ben came over at night to check out Carol's computer cuz it broke, and we decided to buy a new one. it's not here yet, but it should be soon. Tuesday is where things got a bit complicated. woke up in the morning with a strange stomachache, followed by a huge headache. i kinda ignored it at first, thinking it wasn't a big deal. but it didn't get better and i started getting worried. biggest prblem was that i had intentionally woken up early to practice piano, then get a haircut, then eat lunch at home, then go to Irvine to shoot cars at the beach, then meet up with Anna to hang out for a little bit, then go to UCI to meet with Ken and Cinda for dinner and hang out for the rest of the night. i gave up the practicing piano part to rest my headache away, and it didn't help much. went to get a haircut anyways - driving with a big headache wasn't fun, but i wasn't about to waste my day away. came home with no appetite for lunch at all, and it was already much later than i planned to leave for Irvine. and i knew i was seriously sick and wasn't gonna get better soon enough. so long story short, i spent the entire day/night sleeping, occasionally alternating from bed to couch and vice versa. didn't really eat either. and of course, the Irvine trip never happened. sorry again to Anna Cinda and Ken for the last-minute change. its my first time ever having to cancel plans due to sickness, and i hope it won't happen again. slept very early, but it didn't help much since i constantly had to get up in the middle of the night. Wednesday was basically the same as Tuesday - i attempted to play a little piano, but didn't make it longer than intervals of around 10 minutes. Mom took me with her to get food at Albertsons - i got some desperately-needed fresh air, and some more healthy items i could actually eat. and i actually wanted to eat (thank God), but only a little. and eating a little means having a little energy and emotion - just enough for me to start feeling angry about wasting so much of my precious break. i was supposed to go to Juliann's house for hotpot, but backed out on that too. (sorry!). even if i went, i couldn't eat anything. and i really didn't trust myself driving out so far yet. by Thursday morning i swore to myself that everything was gonna go back to normal regardless of sickness, but that didn't happen until a horrible night of waking up to unresonable stomach pains. i wasn't perfect by Thursday, but good enough that i could ignore my problems and go on with life. fulfilled all my teaching duties and practiced piano, among many other things. dinnered with family at night cuz it was Uncle Michael's birthday. i wasn't gonna go at first cuz i had other plans,but that didn't end up happening (more sickness problems. this sucks), so when i decided to go to the family dinner i told myself i would eat whatever they ordered - my first real meal in several days. and that's exactly what i did. oily or not, salty or not, who cares... i ate it all. sure it felt a bit strange at first, but i was fine. and i was so sick of being sick that i didn't really care anymore. and until now, everything's still going well...

Mom told me that when i had fevers as a kid, i would feel so weak at first, but when i got well i would be so hyper that it seemed like i was intentionally making up for all the energy i lost. i laughed it off at first, but somehow it seems pretty true even now. i'm still extremely frustrated at having done almost nothing this whole week. no hanging out with friends. no preparing for school. no piano practice. no orchestration project. no reflecting on what i learned at retreat. everything was just a mess. but then again, i still have a few days left of winter break, and if i make the most out of them, things wont be that bad after all. so that's what i did today. caught up on sleep, wrote and mailed every letter i promised to write (which took hours), updated the ECPG (which also took hours), practiced piano, helped with stuff at home, went to teach, and much much more. didn't really stop being productive all day. and that's definitely a good thing. and i hope tomorrow will be the same.

one last thing before i shut up - since today (Friday) is Jessica's birthday, i gave her a call, and we ended up deciding to hang out right after i teach - totally convenient for me since i'm already in her neighborhood. chilled with her and Michael at their house for a bit. then went to Diamond Plaza - the default hangout place for Asians on Friday night =). walked around the new section first, saw Ken & family and talked with them for a while. apparently there's another Pinkberry alternative called Kiwiberry. hahaha... what is this world coming to!? it's pretty good though =). then went to Life Plaza to shop around. saw Emily and Tiffany outside - haven't talked to them in forever too! saw Jon inside the store - i love how it's easy to feel popular when you're at a place you know you'll run into familiar faces. did some shopping with Jessica then got boba & squid and talked til almost midnight. i always love catching up with old friends and realizing they still care. brought her home afterwards, then went home myself. and that's where i am right now. oh and one little detail i left out - on the way out of Jessica's neighborhood to go to Life Plaza, there was a yellow Murcielago LP640 speeding down Morningside. i'm not joking. an LP640 in Walnut!!! didn't chase it cuz even if i caught it, the pics wouldn't come out well at night anyways. but still, all you car-freaks in Walnut, make sure you keep your eyes open wide! and if you ever see it, give me a call and if i can i'll be there immediately! wow, it took me 45 minutes to write this entry. pretty good way to kill time, except it's 2:15 and i seriously need to go to sleep. lets hope the boba already wore out in me. maybe a nice warm shower will help. i'll go do that right now. goodnight!