04/28: Saturday afternoon update. just got off the phone with Ammon, working out more details for our recital. for those who didnt know, it's gonna be on May 21st (Monday night). i'll write more details about it next time. right now we're trying to recruit a few more performers to complete our ensemble - we're still short on a bassoon, two horns, two violins, and a bass. any volunteers? =)

week 4 update, final part. had breakfast yesterday w/ Ran and Tracy. edited some scores for the recital, then went to history, then went straight to Beverly Hills for an amazing 4-and-a-half hour hunting trip. i definitely accomplished my mission, shooting both a 599 and a bunch of GTC's... actually so many GTC's i already lost count =). the only disappointment was the lack of Diablos and Murcielagos... i actually saw a yellow Murci Roadster but missed it by about 10 seconds =/. made it back to SMB for a quick "shower" and a long drink of water... saw Francis at the front desk and chilled with him for a while... he thinks i'm absolutely insane when it comes to scootering. come on, its a lot of fun =). made it back to the dorm area just in time for dinner w/ Elizabeth and Jane at Covel. went back to Hedrick and chilled in the hallway for a while, then i called Christina cuz she wanted to do some 'musicing' =). took my keyboard/amp out to the study room and we had lots of fun playing random music. Jimmy also came to join us... yaay music lovers =). moved back to my room when it was time for me to pack to go home... chilled with Elizabeth until mom arrived to pick me up.

today - went to teach and came home for lunch. Mom made mango juice with mini tapiocas =). they're sooo good!! speaking of desserts, i currently have an ICE SHAVER in my dorm room, meaning we can have shaved ice parties soon =). i'll bring mangos, mini tapiocas (maybe), and condensed milk this week, so hopefully sometime this week we'll be having some awesome shaved ice. let me know if you want some =). ok, i'm done babbling so i'll shut up now. bye!

04/26: Thursday night mid-week update. ok fine, the schoolweek is pretty much over already. but i've worked extremely hard on my orchestra piece these past few days and i deserve a break =). picking up from the last entry... (Tuesday)- finished class, came back to compose, dinnered with the IV gang, walked to Catalyst w/ Janelle (and Hannah who decided to ditch us to take the 'faster' way =/ ). came back with the intention of composing some more, but turned out Jonathan came up to Hedrick to visit me n Elizabeth, who wasn't around at the time but eventually came to join us. Jonathan is one of very few people in the dorms who is willing to randomly walk up the hill to visit friends, even when there's no sushi. everyone should learn from him =). we went downstairs to cuz Elizabeth had to give Tracy something, and ended up talking outside for the longest time... i totally thought it was only about 11 but when i checked it was past midnight already, so i freaked out and said bye and went to sleep.

as for yesterday and today, they began pretty much in the same way - wake up, breakfast with Josh, practice piano... then things start taking different paths. yesterday i spent pretty much the whole day in Hedrick, since i had no classes. yup, all my classes were cancelled. Chihara is out of town (again hehe) and Neuen only needed the girls to go to chorale cuz they're behind =). so i basically spent the entire day working on my orchestra piece. i spent a good eight hours on it, and accomplished a LOT. in fact, i barely even took a break from morning until dinner with the exception of doing laundry, a call from Cinda, and a visit from Elizabeth with a surprise smoothie =). dinnered with Tammy, then ate again with Sophia and Victoria... i ended up playing 'uncle' again hehe... we were literally the last people to leave the dining hall =). back in my room, i was once again unable to compose due to media distractions, but i didn't mind since i already had an entire afternoon of silence to work. and besides, i had enough stuff punched into Sibelius and thought it would be a good time to sit out in the hallway and brainstorm again. so that's what i did. Elizabeth and Lisa came to join me too. its so awesome that everytime i sit in the hallway, i always run into people to say hi to, and at the end i'm never sitting by myself. *sigh* i miss my room last year so much... i have a feeling this whole sitting-in-the-hallway thing is gonna eventually become a habit even when i'm not distracted in my room =).

so yesterday i had my share of time spent in Hedrick, and today i get to spend pretty much the entire day on campus, just like last Thursday, and for the same reason too. its ridiculous how much time i'm sacrificing for Dr. Seuss hehe. Composition class went really well... my string trio (tentatively called "Turtle Talk"... ask if you want me to explain...) is finally just about complete, and its time to move on to the second movement, which is pretty much a whole new project. its always hard to continue something that's better than i expected it to be. i typically don't like movies that end with "2", and i hope that generalization won't end up being true with my music too. anyways, during the two hour break before the women's choir reading i went to take care of some important business, namely graduation. amazingly, earlier this week i finally got a response to the emails i've been sending to Professor Krouse starting the beginning of LAST QUARTER when he screwed up my schedule and was simply too busy to care. actually he wasn't even the one who replied to my email... but anyways, i talked to Al Bradley about it and now i'm glad to say i can finish college by the end of fall quarter for sure. also went to the department office to take care of some stuff regarding the graduation ceremony. so i'll be walking this June for sure (another big relief... i was afraid it would be too late to petition). but that's still too far ahead for me to think about now. back to today- the Dr. Seuss reading went really well, and i made it back to Hedrick just in time for floor dinner. couldn't have done it without the scooter =). had an awesome dinner, then spent another few hours composing. i'm already way ahead of schedule, which is great considering i might end up wanting to squeeze in another movement for my recital. (come on, did you expect me to end it with a slow movement? hehe).

i find it amazing that despite all this work i've actually maintained a very good mood throughout the week. i think it's cuz of the sunshine. yep, the sunshine i've waited almost a month for. you guys know what that means... tomorrow will be the long-awaited GOLDEN TRIANGLE 22 car-hunting trip. i'll go immediately after class, and stay as long as i feel like. don't worry, i'll be back for dinner - anyone wanna eat with me? =). as for the trip itself, i've compiled a little hit list and it pretty much looks like this - Aston Martin V8 Vantage Roadster, Audi R8, Bentley Continental GTC (not stock and black), Bugatti Veyron, Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano, Lamborghini Diablo (except silver VT 6.0), Lamborghini Murcielago (except stock base coupe), Porsche 997 GT3, Rolls-Royce Phantom LWB. i expect to shoot at least one of these tomorrow, especially the GTC and 599, and hopefully some more. i purposely made this list very achievable, considering most people on CP have seen these cars a lot more than i have. wish me luck...

one last thing before i shut up. you guys know i can't possibly spend an entire day in my dorm without some fresh air. so before dinner i went out for a little journey to *drumroll...* the Secret Place. yep, the one i used to visit almost every day two years ago. i think its my first time going there this whole schoolyear... maybe these past few years have been much more busy and productive (academically and socially) so i didn't exactly have time to go. but that's really no excuse... the place simply means too much to me, and it constantly reminds me of the many times i went there and the various emotions i experienced there. it felt so great to be back, and as if this week wasn't good enough already, spending some time with God alone and away from all distractions only made things better. there's definitely a lot i need to talk to Him about, and i wish to find time to return once again in the near future. but for now, its time to shower and sleep. goodnight!

04/24: killing time on a CLICC laptop in the second half of music history class =). this is definitely a great week so far - for the first time in almost a month, i can look at the weather report and see sunshine for several days in a row (did someone say Beverly Hills? =) ). apparently ALL my classes are cancelled tomorrow, so i have an entire day to work on my second orchestra piece. the hardest thing is to get myself fully focused - a process that took days on the last orchestra piece. so far it's working quite well, besides the fact that it's nearly impossible to be in my room without some kind of media blasting in the background. next time you think you're good at composing, try writing a piece while listening to something else. (and contemporary music doesn't count =) ). i ended up doing exactly what i did for "Exodus" - left my room with a paper and clipboard and sat out by the elevators to brainstorm for ideas. Elizabeth and Jane found me and came to join, followed by Jonathan, Jimmy, and Sophia. i almost always appreciate distractions (with the exception of music, which interferes with what i have to do), cuz it forces me to get my head out of the music and think on a larger scale... and at this stage of the piece that's definitely very important. i made it back to my room at around 11:30 to jot down a few more ideas before showering and going to sleep... then i found Sophia in the hallway again studying chem and ended up distracting her for another half an hour or so. i learned a really cool word. "Stereoisomerism". still not quite sure what it means, but it sounds really cool, like something from a science fiction movie. ok fine, all you freshmen who are smarter than me... go ahead and make fun of me.

aside from that, yesterday was pretty much an ordinary schoolday. had breakfast with Josh, practiced piano, composed, didn't eat lunch (i still haven't found people to lunch with on Mondays and Wednesdays this quarter. any volunteers?) went to orchestration class and chorale. finished chorale early again and went back to post my daily car pictures, but the CP server wasn't working so i couldn't post. hopefully it will work today...

oh, and i almost forgot one more detail - dinner with Sophia and Victoria. while we were eating they asked me to tell stories. i dunno why, especially since i always have trouble organizing my thoughts and end up babbling aimlessly. maybe it was cuz i was too quiet, or maybe cuz they wanted to make fun of me babbling. but either way, i'm glad they asked. if you know me long enough you probably know that my life is all about stories - stories that God writes in my life. knowing that every story will have a happy ending sooner or later, there's really nothing i'm afraid to share. telling my own stories reminds me of all the adventures God has brought me through, and encourages me to continue to trust Him with my pen. i went to bed last night thinking of those stories, reflecting on all that God has done. and i pray that i can continue to have just as much faith for the stories i'm currently living through - the end of my life in the dorms, the process leading to my senior recital, and much much more.

speaking of stories... i had breakfast with Josh and Tracy this morning and after they left i was waiting for Jane to come, so i went to check my email... and got a reminder that Professor Paulin (music history) sent last night saying our second essay was due 'tomorrow' - that means TODAY. at 11AM. i can swear i didn't hear him mention a word about it in class last week, and somehow i never got the prompt. so after eating with Jane, i gave up practicing piano and went back to my room... i called everyone i knew in the class, none of who picked up the phone (cuz they were all in class). luckily i found the prompt on the course website... so i started writing like crazy. and luckily its only 3 pages. but still, its 5% of my grade, and until i take the midterm and see how hard the professor grades, i won't have any idea how much this 5% can save my life at the end. 45 minutes later, the essay was complete and proofread, and thanks to my scooter, i went to Covel to print it and made it to class just in time. now that's a good way to kick off the day. i've never felt so awake in history class before, and my heart is still beating a bit faster than usual as i slowly recover from a near-death essay experience. but i'm definitely thankful i decided to get up and check my email during breakfast... otherwise i would have come to class completely unaware of the essay until it was time to turn it in. and i'm glad it was a relatively easy prompt, so i got through the essay pretty fast. either way, i hope this never happens again. who knows, next time the essay might be about stereoisomers...

04/22: Sunday Afternoon Update. its been a pretty chill weekend - the typical sleep/eat/teach/etc... yesterday was Howard's birthday so i went with him Mom and Carol to celebrate with dessert at Phoenix. went to church today - seems like its been a LONG time since i've been there... its great to be back =).

so anyways, Week 3 update, part 2. Thursday - breakfast with Yiki and Tracy, then with Jane. i didn't mind staying til 9:30 cuz i really wanst in the mood to practice piano after realizing i was gonna be on campus until after the women's choir reading. half an hour was long enough for me to warm up before my lesson. during my break from 3-5, i visited Prof. Bull's organ class for a few minutes... gosh i miss them so much =/. if it wasn't for the awkward scheduling and the fact that i'm only gonna get busier and busier as the quarter progresses, i would definitely still be in the class now. went to Bel-Air afterwards for a nice hour-long neighborhood cruise. sat with Tritia outside SMB before the choir reading... i think its the first time we really got to talk. its pretty sad how in the music building i always act like i'm antisocial... hopefully thats gonna change soon, cuz i don't have much time left to spend. the choir reading went pretty well... the Dr. Seuss piece wasn't too difficult to learn, so by next week's rehearsal it should be ready to record. made it back to Hedrick just in time for Floor Dinner. haven't gone to one of those in a while, probably cuz i never know when they are. then again, it's probably my own fault. went to the World Dessert festival thingy with Tammy Peggy and Allison... we were one of the first people in line so we got a table too... Brian and Eric also came to join. the food wasn't all that amazing, but its good enough for me =). chilled in Peggy's room for a while, then went to my room to do homework but got a surprise call from Ken telling me he's right by UCLA. so of course i decided to go out at night =). got to meet Julia too (finally! hehe). we went to Westwood, got Diddy Riese, and walked around the city. came back at around midnight. Friday - breakfast with Yiki and Tracy. chilled in my room until history discussion - we had a pop quiz that was pretty much expected... it wasnt all that hard and i'm just glad it wasnt last week (when i was gone). lunched with Tammy Brian and Daniel. went to Westwood with Tammy aftewards and got Kettle Chips =). gosh, i miss last year's Midnight Cafes so much that i have to go by the chips myself now - and i got exactly what we had back then - Cheddar Beer and Spicy Thai. that should last me a week or two and keep me focused while i compose. dinnered with the IV gang before Spring Fling - i didn't go, but Lisa invited me to join them =). chilled in my room the rest of the night, talking with Elizabeth and Jane, working on compositions, decorating my room, and eating kettle chips =). went home at around 11:30... took Brian home too since his parents are in Asia. i'll be taking him back to school too.

so now i'm at home just relaxing and enjoying the weekend. its great to be home again, even though there's so much on my mind right now, namely my senior recital. it's less than a month away (i'll save the details for another entry =) ), and there's a LOT of organizational work to take care of, not including composition projects for my current classes, which will hopefully end up on the concert program too. starting tonight when i get back to school, its time to go back to serious composing mode, just like the "Exodus" days. of course, i'll make sure i give myself sufficient breaks, namely the long-awaited Friday afternoon Beverly Hills trip, which was cancelled this week cuz of rain. but now my expectations are even higher, since rain usually means sunshine and i've been waiting for full sunshine for weeks already. anyways, i guess i'll shut up now. bye!

04/18: mid-week update. for me it still feels like the week just started since Monday didn't really count as a schoolday. sleeping about 8 hours for two nights in a row definitely helped, even though people still say i look like i'm short on sleep. i guess only time can cure that. anyways... Tuesday- breakfast w/ Victoria. practiced piano but didnt do too well so i ended up going to the organ room and playing Phantom of the Opera for half an hour =). went to classes, dinnered with Elizabeth, Jonathan, and the IV gang (Janelle Robin Yiki Tammy and Hannah). went to Catalyst (see previous entry), walked back with Tammy, chilled in my room a bit then went to take the Floor Picture. every year when its time for the floor picture, it brings me one step closer to realizing the year's about to come to an end. i wonder if i'll ever see so many floormates together in the hallway at the same time again. anyways, spent the rest of the night composing and chillin with Elizabeth. Today - breakfast with Victoria and Ran. practiced piano... i was gonna go back to finish composing my choir piece, but ended up running into Peggy and her sister Patty walking around campus taking pictures, so i joined the fun for a while. we met up again for lunch @ Covel... Peggy said another friend was gonna join us, and it turned out to be Sophia(Sou) who i met at the beginning of fall quarter. i always find it amazing how you can never know when you'll run into someone familiar that you thought you would never talk to again. we chilled in the dining hall until i had to go to chorale - my only class, since Chihara was gone once again. oh and chorale ended at like 4:15... at least thats when the guys got out. the girls had a much harder time (Muahaha...). dinnered with Elizabeth at 5:15, then went to join Michelle and the Jessicas for a little while, then ate again with Peggy Patty and a bunch of floormates... i was in the dining hall for over two hours. definitely got my swipe's worth =).

even though it feels like i just got back from Canada, this week is off to a very productive start. first of all, tomorrow is the women's choir reading session - the recording isn't until May, but they wanted to rehearse everyone's music before the actual recording. my piece, for those who haven't heard - is based on words by my favorite author - DR SEUSS. go ahead and laugh, cuz i cracked up more than once while writing the piece, based on "Fox in Socks". the movement they're gonna sing is "Gooey Goo". haha... Jane listened to a midi and liked it... thats definitely encouraging since im sure she knows a lot more about vocal music than i do. its definitely a unique idea compared to what most other people are writing for this assignment, and hopefully it will turn out well. the only downside to this reading is that i'm stuck on campus until 7PM or whenever they finish with my piece, meaning no lunch, no dinner, and nothing to do from 3 to 5. maybe i'll go to Bel-Air... or maybe i'll sit in organ class for a few minutes =). as for Friday, i'm here til midnight and planning a several-hour-long trip to the Triangle... only problem is that its supposedly gonna rain. i swear the weather hates me this quarter. but we'll see what happens... i can always postpone the trip til next week.

oltbisu, for those who havent noticed already, new pictures are finally up! i added pics from school (including Juliann & Yu-Ching visiting), a few more misc. pics, and of course, the Toronto tour. about half a dozen new wallpapers are also in the works and should be up in the next few days. ok, thats all... time for me to shut up. its around 11:30 now and im sure it wont hurt to sleep early again =).

04/17: just got back from Catalyst - Eddie spoke on glorifying God through friendships - something i've always been really interested in. i'm glad he pointed out the potential dangers of Facebook and other online networks, and as most people know i've always refused to participate in such groups not only because it's addictive (come on guys, dont deny it. i never used it but i've heard enough stories to know its true), but because it supports today's ever-growing quantity-over-quality view of friendship that will only hurt people in the long run. some of you may recall me mentioning a very disturbing email i received at the end of last quarter - basically someone used my info to create a Facebook account for me without my permission... what bothered me most was that this person is a friend from the IV Community. even though i'm not exactly mad, i really wish to have a chance to talk to him/her about it, since i really believe it's one of the biggest problems with this year's dorm ministry.

its always nice to hear a sermon and realize you're already doing exactly what you're being taught to do. but at the same time, i still have plenty to learn. it's good that i value quality relationships and believe in making an effort rather than always finding the easiest way (which is usually not the best way), but my friendships throughout my years in college so far have only accomplished part of what God wants. sure, i tell people i'm Christian, but i never really bother seeking opportunities to tell them about God's love. when someone i care about is hurt, i comfort them and pray my butt off for as long as i need to, but i'm afraid to comfront them with the truth. ultimately everything still revolves around myself - i make friends because i want to be accepted. i love them for the same reason. even when i humble myself and put others above me, theres always some kind of benefit for myself at the end. if telling them about God is a risk of losing the friendship, chances are i wouldn't do it. its hard for me to understand true sacrificial love - but then again, that only points me closer to the wonder of God's love for me. if only i understood this love better, i'm sure i would feel burdened to pass it to others. so basically i've always allowed myself to settle for second best, valuing good friendships over glorifying God through them. and there's not much time left for me to learn to stand for what i believe. as crazy as it seems, the "Last Beginning" is just about over, and if i don't seize the day now its only gonna get harder and harder. God, let your will be done.

04/16: this is one of very few times when i'm actually trying to physically avoid people in the dorm in general... that is, unless you're one of those people who love looking at zombies. i remember when i came back from the Passing on Mission tour over three years ago and the guy at the Rieber front desk literally thought i was drunk. when i'm tired my eyes show it, and there isnt much i can do about it except let it wear off by sleeping well. but i'm glad to say that the past few days has definitely been worth the sacrifice of sleep. lets start from the beginning of the trip...

Thursday- met w/ Steph at Deneve to catch the SuperShuttle at 7PM. it was a bit late, but thanks to awesome planning behind the trip that took into account possible delays, it wasn't a problem at all. we joined the rest of the team - Luis Gary Ami Jimmy Choe Samuel and Satina AY - at the airport. (Amy AY & Samuel SS took an earlier flight and were already in Toronto). got Burger King at the airport, then went on the plane and left for Canada.

Friday - thinking about it now, i definitely should have sacrificed an extra day of school (Thursday) to catch the earlier flight. we arrived at around 6AM - Eastern Time - meaning the entire night's sleep, which was already cut short by the time change, would take place on the plane. i've always had trouble sleeping upright, especially when mixed with constant shaking (turbulence) and the frustration that grows as time passed slowly without success in falling asleep. i managed to "half-sleep" for more than half the flight - basically doing no good at all. everything that morning seemed blurry - arrival at the airport, meeting Bill and Robert, being taken to Pastor Ho's apartment where we were living, eating a little food, etc... i just know that during the hour we had before lunch i fell down on the couch and was knocked out immediately. that hour probabyl helped me more than the entire flight did, even though i still clearly looked like i hadn't slept in days. went out to lunch where we took a pic for the Chinese newspaper. back to the apartment, got dressed, and went to Missisauga for the first concert. did the usual soundcheck stuff, ate dinner at the church, and did the concert. i thought it went quite well, and it actually helped that i was too tired to be nervous about the fact that almost all the seats (including overflow) were filled. as usual, after the concert everyone was all energetic again, so we ended up going out to eat again. not exactly the best experience (i'm not the only one who felt that the waiters didn't deserve their job) but i really shouldnt be complaining. went back to the apartment to sleep. me Jimmy and Choe stayed with Pastor Ho in the penthouse while everyone else occupied the other room on another floor.

Saturday - the only day when we were granted good sleep; nothing was planned for the morning, so we slept til like noon. such an awesome feeling, even though technically its still only 9AM California time. had lunch at the Penthouse courtesy of Pastor Ho. got dressed after a quick devotional time, then went to Richmond Hill for the second concert - the largest of the three nightly events. saw my first Cdian exotic - a GTC - on the way there, but totally missed it and it made me quite frustrated. plus i was still very tired. but thank God i wasn't the only tired one, so we all ended up getting coffee - from Tim HOrton's. for those who have never been to Canada, it's time for you to be enlightened. Tim Horton's is basically a combination of Starbucks and Krispy Kreme, and its just about as popular as Starbucks is in the US. as if the iced coffee wasn't good enough, we also got a box of Timbits (translation: donut balls) and i fell deeply in love with them. suddenly i was wide awake for the rest of teh afternoon - soundcheck, dinner, and of course the concert. it was another incredible turnout, partly cuz apparently we were on the front page of the local Chinese newspaper =). many people accepted Christ and i felt blessed just by seeing so many people touched by our music and testimonies. went back to the apartment afterwards, had some food, and went to sleep.

Sunday - our day began at around 6AM(!!!) when we had the opportunity to lead worship at several churches in the area, including the one where we held the previous night's concert. the first service was at 8, followed by an awesome breakfast break - at Tim Horton's!! i got myself a cup of coffee and a box of Timbits =). everyone there probably knew we were tourists, cuz we treated the place like something totally amazing and foreign - kinda like someone stepping into McDonalds for the first time and not knowing what to do. we led worship for four services, two of which the team split up to lead simultaneously. then we had lunch at a restaurant across the street. as with every event hosted by Chinese people for other Chinese people, it's pretty implied that we will be treated to Chinese food and only Chinese food. its one of those things we just have to get used to - to them they're being kind by giving us what they know we're used to. to most of us it would have been better to have something American - i mean, Canadian. but still, this restaurant was really good - probbaly cuz we had fried rice and boba - my first Canadian boba! =). went back to the church, took some pictures outside (it was friggin cold!!), then left for our final concert destination in Markham. apparently Gary saw a 997 GT3 and Maserati on the way there, both of which i missed, even though he was in the car right behind me. dangit. anyways... we got to the church in Markham and i slept on the bench for about half an hour - when it comes to being at such a low energy level, every minute of sleep counts. and so did a little more coffee from Tim Horton's. set up the stage, soundchecked, ate downstairs, prayed, and had the final concert. Samuel had the brilliant idea of having all the instruments (him, me, Jimmy, and Choe) in one corner so we could work better as a group. we ended the concert with a huge instrumental improv of the opening medley and had soooo much fun. packed up everything, went back to the apartment, and had some amazing noodles and green tea ice blends, once again courtesy of Pastor Ho. since its the last night, some people decided to stay up all night... luckily it was much quieter up in the Penthouse, so me n Jimmy both got to sleep.

Today - one of those really surreal days that will probably be hard to remember since we left the apartment at 5:30AM(!!!!!!!!) and were all way too tired to concentrate. me n JImmy woke up at 5:25 and made it downstairs just on time to leave. got dropped off at the airport, did the whole checkin/security/paperwork/whatever stuff and had breakfast at the gate. i was too tired to even eat, especially after realizing there was no Tim Horton's at the airport (how is that possible!?!? *cries*)... so i drank a soda =). yea i know its so unhealthy... but its the first soda i had since Thursday. remember, we had Chinese food and only Chinese food. fortunately the plane that took us back was much more comfortable than the one we took to get there - it had those innovative curved headrests that allowed me to sleep upright without my head always falling down. such a great little invention =). our whole team basically slept the whole way home, and i actually slept quite well, even though i know the moment i fall down on my bed later tonight i'll fall asleep immediately... so anyways, we got back to LAX and Samuel SS and Baldwin took us back. Samuel SS's car - himself, Amy AY, Steph, Luis, and myself - decided to stop at Westwood for a late lunch at BJ's - yes, real American food! haha... it was sooo good. got dropped off at Hedrick afterwards... suddenly the trip came to an end, and i found myself once again in my dorm room living the life of a college student...

the transition back to being a student was really strange, but somehow i got through it smoothly - probably cuz i'm too tired to think, and i simply did what i knew i had to do, namely finish the string trio for Lefko's class tomorrow. i waited for someone to invite me to dinner, but that never happened so i decided to eat an apple in my room. normally i would at least walk around and attempt to take initiative, but i thought it was better that i didn't go find people and unintentionally scare them with my zombieness. Elizabeth and Jane stopped by to say hi... i didnt mind scaring them cuz they both knew i just got back not too long ago. Elizabeth is done with her share of concerts this weekend too so we finally got to sit down and talk without stress again. and i ended up sharing half of Jane's cup noodles, so dinner wasn't all that bad after all =). oh and by the way, Jane said she goes to Pearson Airport a lot (remember, she's from Toronto =) ), and there actually is a Tim Horton's inside. how come i didn't see it!? owellz... maybe next time.

i spent the night finishing the string trio, followed by a quick trip to Covel to print it - i took my scooter and made the trip as fast as possible to avoid possibly seeing anyone familiar. after that i chilled with Elizabeth while relaxing by working on my wall, just to use up the last little bit of energy still left in me. i purposely didn't let myself take a nap, cuz if so i would proabably sleep until the middle of the night, then wake up at around 3AM (6AM in Toronto) and screw up my sleeping schedule for the whole week. its a little past 11 right now and i'm gonna go to sleep after a quick shower. goodnight!

04/12: one last update as promised, with a little surprise from a few hours ago. see for yourself...

04/12: sitting through the second half of history class right now =). i hope my Sudoku Theory also applies to going online during class. at least this professor passes out lecture notes, which makes life sooo much easier for me. had breakfast with Josh today, then went to practice, then had my piano lesson. i didnt exactly look forward to it at first, cuz last week i concluded that Ruby and i had opposing views about how to play the fugue i'm learning now. we spent much of today's lesson talking about general ways to inspire myself to practice and i think it helped a lot =). anyways, back to history class - we just finished studying an amazing piece, John Cage's "4:33". the TA "performed" it for us... it was hard not to laugh, but having absolute silence is always an amazing thing, and i'm glad no idiot's cellphone went off or anything. then again, the cellphone would just become part of the music =).

anyways... mid-week update. even though technically my week is almost over - more details on that later. Sunday- went to church and played background music for Wilson's sermon. practiced with ClayMusic afterwards. went home for dinner, then bcak to school w/ Steph and Gloria. Monday - breakfast w/ Tracy and Julie, then Victoria and Josh. practiced piano, composed, lunched with Jenny @ Deneve, more composing. chorale. late dinner w/ Jane @ Deneve. essay/compose. Tuesday - breakfast with Josh. practiced, classes... walked back with Ran. homework... chilled with Doris and Jane then we joined Hannah Tammy and Janelle for dinner. Catalyst. walked back with Tammy, got smoothies @ Bruincafe. thanks Tammy for the treat =). i won't be able to get many smoothies this quarter cuz i'm really short on swipes, so its always amazing when someone gets one for me =). stopped by Sophia Victoria and Steph's room to leave a "post-it note" - my signature Bear =). back in my room Lisa and Jane came over and read Dr. Seuss. yep, my favorite author. and i'm writing a piece based on "Fox in Socks". its still a work in progress but hopefully it will come out well. Victoria came by to visit after seeing the bear - she showed me lotsa cool stuff about Macs. even though i've had my iMac for half a year already i still barely know how to use it, since i'm always on Windows using Sibelius. Elizabeth came over to chill for a bit too. yea i know, i let people come visit me a lot even though i have a lot of homework. but hey, its only week two =). Wednesday - breakfast with Josh Mike and Jane. practiced/composed. classes. dinner w/ Sue, Kevin, and Gary. more homework... chilled in Jane's room for a while. as if reading Dr. Seuss the night before wasn't enough fun, now we took her laptop case and wore it as a hat and took a bunch of pictures. (and yes i'm posting them =) ). more homework, then went to Covel to print - ran into Chris on the way down n chilled outside for a while. quizzed Elizabeth in my room for her history test - its sad how she knew the papers better than i did even when i was looking at it =/. and its even sadder that she's been so busy with rehearsals n stuff that i almost never see her around anymore. the last time we ate together was like last Wednesday. and it doesn't exactly help that tonight i'll be on a plane flying over America.

to where? for those who havent heard, Claymusic is going to Toronto! we're arriving there early tomorrow morning (eastern time), and we have a concert Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday morning, and Sunday night. a very very productive weekend. oh and i won't be back til Monday afternoon. yes im missing class, but i told all my teachers and they're ok with it. not that anything would have changed if they weren't ok with it, cuz i never miss class so a couple absenses won't hurt my grade at all =). but yea... me n Steph are taking the shuttle from UCLA at around 7PM... by the way, anyone wanna eat dinner with me before i leave? =).

ok, i'm done writing now - class is gonna end soon so i should shut up if i want enough time to eat my lunch (apple) before my next class. i have the whole afternoon free, so chances are i'll write one more update before i go. but until then, bye!

04/07: Saturday Afternoon Update (SAU!? hehe). yesterday was absolutely amazing, thanks to Juliann and Yu-Ching who came to visit me. and then there's Steph who decided not to come =/. hehe but anyways, it was awesome enough that i'm giving the day its own update. or maybe its just cuz i have nothing else to do right now... so anyways, had breakfast w/ Henry, then with Joyce Sofie and Jolene. did homework in my room - yes, i actually stick to my word. if i say no carhunting, i mean it =). went to history class and made it back just in time for Juliann and Yu-Ching to arrive. actually they were already visiting people in DeNeve, and i saw them from my window before they found the way to get into Hedrick. we chilled in my room until lunch - since i promised Tammy i would eat with her at 1. Jane came to join us too. how awesome is that - floor friend from last year, floor friend from this year, plus friends from home =). came back to my room to chill - Yu-Ching basically rolled around the couch the entire time, attemptiing to fall asleep but fully aware that Juliann and I both had cameras =). we took a random walk to campus... it was actually my first time trying to lead the way through the LS building - a place i never really knew to begin with. but we still made it out alive and ended up chillin in the botannical gardens for a while too. i love that place, especially after Grace inspired me to start learning how to take good up-close nature pics (flowers, etc). moved on to Westwood, since we were pretty much already there when we came out of the garden. only problem was that we were all really full from lunch, which means no Diddy Riese, Pinkberry, or anything else that involves eating. but you guys all know i love to just walk around for the heck of it, and its not everyday i find people to do that with me. ok fine, i did accomplish one thing - my course reader. we happened to walk past the place and there was no line at all, so i saved myself a trip next week =). came back to chill in my room... took a bunch of random pictures (yes they will be online when i have time =) )... Jane came to visit with a very big surprise for me - a BOBA!!! isnt that awesome? thank you sooooo much ! =)). we had a random boba/mango/sitaroundanddonothing party... we were all too tired to go out again anyways. and we didnt exactly wanna leave yet (Juliann was my ride home =) ) cuz of rush hour. so that left only one option - dinner. we were all still pretty full, but since its not everyday Juliann and Yu-Ching get to eat the second best dorm food in the nation, they couldn't say no =). went to eat at DeNeve... Jason and his aptmate Charlie came to join us too. afterwards we realized that Jason had a remote control Helicoptor. how cool is that!? i've always wanted to play with one of those... its hard to control but it was really fun and drew a lot of attention in many forms, ranging from "wow, can i try?" to various 4-letter curse words. stopped by my room one last time to pick up my stuff, then went home. cell group was at my house, so they came and stayed even though it was already over =). so we chilled til like midnight? iono... but it was relaly late and really fun. thank you guys for such an awesome day. and here's the moral of the story- don't forget this is my last quarter living in the dorms, which means if you want to take advantage of me to visit the campus and eat dorm food (and just hang out with me), do it before its too late! =)

04/05: week 1 update, so far. i swear its nearly impossible to be productive academically (musically) when i know this is probably my last chance to enjoy stress-free time with friends in the dorms. as for compositions, the orchestra and wind ensemble readings are both at the end of May, so for now all i have to worry about is the women's choir piece. i'm trying to have a LOT of fun with this one - more details to come later =). anyways... its Thursday around midnight now and i wanna get this update out of the way, cuz tomorrow's gonna be another awesome day. so here we go...

Sunday - went to church and played for Choe's team. ended up not going to English service at all cuz nobody else wanted to play for offering. thanks Choe n Wendy for taking me out to lunch (at Curry House). came back to church for Claymusic rehearsal - basically just a review of all the songs, plus boba =). went home for dinner. came back to school with Steph and Howard cuz he wanted Pinkberry (surprise?). moved back into my room then went to visit Jane n chilled in her room. thanks for the mangos =). came back to my room to study (commpose) and chill...

Monday- breakfast with Jane. practiced piano, talked w/ Elizabeth when she came to visit me in the practice room =). came back to compose. lunched @ Rendezvous with Lisa Rosio and Harkiran. went to class (Scoring class - aka Orchestration pt. 3)... i was almost willing to bet money that Chihara would let us out at least an hour early, and i was so right =). chilled until chorale. walked back w/ Jane. dinnered w/ Jane and Elizabeth. chilled in the hallway afterwards... Jamie invited us to join her and eat CRICKETS. she bought a box of sour cream & onion flavored crickets from Santa Cruz and a bunch of us went to the lounge to indulge. dont worry, we took lots of pics, and they'll be posted as soon as i have time. composed some more. chilled with Lisa Rosio and Harikiran. walked around the halls and ended up sitting with Joyce n her friends Sophie and Kelly in the hallway. more composing & talking w/ Elizabeth.

Tuesday - breakfast with Joyce Sophia and Kelly. walked to class with Joyce n Sophia... practiced then went to class. first day of history. apparently there was no composition class cuz Lefko wasn't back yet. but i'm glad i waited there for the first 15 minutes or so cuz i caught a Gallardo right by SMB on my way back =). did some homework, went to Bel-Air for a nice cruise. joined the IV dinner, which is still sadly getting smaller ever yweek. me Janelle Tammy and Hannah kept each other company =). went to Catalyst w/ Hannah Janelle and Yiki. found out after Catalyst that Hedrick was having a fire drill (thanks Jane for informing me =) ) so we went to Bruin Cafe and chilled there for an hour. then chilled in my room w/ Elizabeth n Jane. Yune and her cousin Trang (from Washington!) came to visit cuz Trang wanted to check out the dorms and we ended up talking until 1:30AM. thats what happens when you put a huge couch in your room =).

Wednesday- breakfast with Jeff and Jolene. walked to campus w/ Sara and Kitty. practiced, came back to compose and had lunch in my room. i seriously need to start conserving swipes, meaning if nobody invites me to eat, i probably won't eat at all. theres always enough food in my room to last a few meals anyways =). went on a brief scooter ride around campus before scoring/chorale. dinnered with Elizabeth and Jane, then Alan, then after they left i ate again with Michelle and Christine. definitely got my swipe's worth =). chilled and worked for the rest of the night...

Today - breakfast with Victoria. practiced, piano lesson, classes. Golden Triangle 21. yea i know, the weather sucks. its been this way for a long time and it doesn't seem like it will change anytime soon. and i haven't gone to the Triangle for over a month, so i went even though normally i would cancel the trip on a day like this. and as expected it wasn't exactly all that amazing. but then again i'm just too spoiled by my other recent hunting trips. Beverly Hills is never not amazing, right? =). made it back to the dorms just in time to meet with Yune and Trang for dinner @ Rieber. we chilled there til like 8:50... literally the last people to leave hehe. i was gonna spend the night composing, but Yune invited me over to her apartment and i couldn't resist hehe. i've been wanting to visit them for so long and now i finally get to - and have time to. chilled there til almost midnight, and now i'm back to write this entry before going to sleep.

so yea, i didn't exactly get much work done this week, but i plan to be productive tomorrow morning before history class (yes, that means no hunting trips. but i've had enough bad luck in this weather anyways...). the reason i wanted to work ahead is becuase tomorrow Juliann and Yu-Ching are coming to visit UCLA!! i have no idea what we're gonna do, but im sure its gonna be fun. for now, i better shut up and go sleep so i'll be alive enough to show them around campus tomorrow. bye!

04/04: ...and i thought Asian supermarkets were bad enough...

04/03: The Last Beginning

I remember back in my final months at Troy High School I lived by two simple words - "Every Moment". With a social life consisting almost entirely of mere acquaintances, I knew that every moment I saw people around me might be the last time I ever saw them. I knew that every moment I talked to people I cared about might be the last thing I ever say to them. So I treated every day as if it were the last, making the most out of it, whether through interacting with people or through prayer and reflection. I was never quite content with my life in high school, but one thing always encouraged me. I knew that once I go to UCLA, I would have a chance to start over new, freed from impressions of my past that intimidate me and prevent me from obeying the voice inside my heart. Being able to choose my own classes, live in the dorms with my peers, and spend my free time as I wanted to meant that every part of my life in high school, whether I liked it or not, would be improved.

Four years have flown by, and I'm glad to say that all of my expectations regarding college have been met. I discovered the power of having an intimate relationship with God and found a major to fulfill His purpose for my life. I made more friends than I could have ever asked for, and surrounded myself with the joy of the life I was entirely deprived of for the first decade and a half of my life. Suddenly, I realized that this new lifestyle I have completely adapted to is soon going to reach its end. And just like my last months in high school, the idea of completing a significant chapter in the story of my life leaves me with much to think about.

As I moved back into my dorm room after Spring Break, I realized it was my last time going through the move-in process. The next time I check out a laundry cart from the front desk, it will be to move out of the dorms permanantly. It's Week One right now, a time characterized by worry-free living. Soon, midterms will kick in, followed by essays, projects, and finals. And by the time finals are done, people will start disappearing one by one. Those who I consider myself closest with will definitely find me and say goodbye, and if I move out before them I will do the same. But many more who play an important role in my life now will leave silently, and God only knows when our stories will collide again. Leaving the dorms will definitely not be easy for me, and now is the time to make the most out of every moment so I can leave with no regrets.

I see these few weeks as the Last Beginning. The last chance to be part of a dorm floor where people are not overcome by academic stress. The last chance to enjoy the fresh feeling of a new quarter in my composition, orchestration, and history classes. The last chance to take piano lessons at school and enjoy being part of the school choir. Events and activities that have taken place on a yearly basis pass by me one by one for the last time. Even though I will still be at UCLA during Fall Quarter to finish up classes, the experience simply won't be the same. I'll wait and let time show me what emotions will consume me at that time. As for this quarter, I will focus on three main areas.

1) My Senior Recital - the epitome of my musical studies and possibly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to hear so much of my original music be performed live in a single night, I want to do everything I can to make this night (May 21, tentatively) successful. Preparing for the recital, which involves writing the music, scheduling rehearsals, and much more, will take up plenty of time, and the only way to have enough time is to constantly stay focused on be on top of all my academics.

2) Dorm Life - a lifestyle that I have fallen deeply in love with, I cannot imagine what my life will be like away from the residential halls. Even though my academics will take up most of my time, I will try my best to find time to spend with my friends from all four years, making sure they know that I still remember them and care for them, and will continue to do so even after I leave UCLA.

3) Personal Life - something I often make the mistake of leaving as a last priority. I want to leave college with more than just music and friends; I want to leave with a deeper understanding of myself and God's plans for my life aside from the music field. I wish to find time to spend in solitude like I did during my first two years of college, and allow God to speak to me as an individual rather than only as a part of a group.

As I go through this Last Beginning, I must keep all these things in mind and find a good balance between them. Most of all, I must remember that God's stories are greater than my own, so that I won't be blinded from His plans for me, whether in these final quarters of college or in my life after graduation. I came to UCLA with humility, uncertain of the future and receptive to His guidance, and I pray that I may leave with the same attitude, knowing that everything will work for the good of His purpose.

04/01: back in the dorms again for my last entry before spring quarter begins. God has always used spring break to do amazing things - much of which i wasn't ready to face at the time but would later come to appreciate. spring break was my first car accident, my first court case, and my first time preparing to face an entire quarter without a computer. spring break was also when God revealed to me my destiny as a music major. to my surprise, much of this spring break actually went as i had planned. i decided that since it's my last spring break before i graduate, it was an appropriate time to learn to bring my well-disciplined study habits back home with me as part of my transition from college life into the real world. it was extremely difficult, as i often found myself overcome by distraction. but i did my best, and actually ended up successful a few times.

as for spending time with friends, i didn't accomplish as much as i wanted to. but considering i need to start controlling my spendings, it's probably a good thing. and it gave me much more time to focus on being alone, being with my family, and getting ahead on my schoolwork. yesterday, i experienced an all-time low in my yearly struggle with spring allergies, leaving me exhausted and unable to accomplish anything all day. by nighttime, i finally gave up fighting and took a pill. still too exhausted to do anything, i simply sat still and rested. that was when i suddenly understood the deeper reason for my needing solitude at school. constantly sustained by the eager anticipation of spending time with people and the subconscious worries from academic stress, what i needed all along was a pure breath of fresh air - a moment without anything to worry about, even if it meant simply being too exhausted to worry. it's time to dive into another busy quarter, and i'm thankful that in this past week God had reminded me of the very thing i needed to keep myself fighting - a break. after all, it was my last spring break.

03/31: spring break was way too short, but very well spent - a good mix of time with family, friends, and by myself. Sunday - went to church, lunched with Ken Steph and Jon @ Golden City, meaning we got to hang out with Cristina too. apparently she visited UCLA but didn't tell me =/. took care of some errands in the afternoon, came home for dinner, and phoned w/ Tiffany(Lin) and Cinday at night. Monday - got ice cream @ Baskin Robbins with Tiffany(Lin) after she finished school. i think its our first time really hanging out in person for longer than the time it takes to simply say hi and bye. talked til she had to go home. Tuesday - free day at home, which i spent relaxing and doing homework (compositions, etc). Wednesday - shoppping w/ Mom in the morning. got boba for lunch =). mall w/ Steph(Lin) in the afternoon to find a birthday gift for her dad. went to Marshalls afterwards and swung by Red Tomato House cuz she wanted to get a drink, and the owner ended up treating both of us (since Steph used to work there). swung by Jennifer's house afterwards to drop off her camera battery that i borrowed for Supercar Sunday (thanks! =) ). now i know for sure that my camera is not brokened, but its simply a battery problem, so i'll be buying a new battery soon. thats gonna be so awesome - two batteries and 2.5GB of memory. i cant wait =). Thursday - went to Carol's track meet... chilled with Ken Baldwin and Tim. Carol owned almost everybody as usual hehe. practiced for C-Worship with Choe's team. Friday - went to church for a recording session for MyStory TV (formerly known as "Listen To Me"). it was pretty rough but we got through it fine. i realized i've been slacking way too much with composing, so at night i finally managed to focus for a few hours and make good progress. Today(Saturday) - Carol's birthday! (happy birthday!!! =) ). she was gone at another track meet most of the day, so it was pretty much an ordinary Saturday for me - wake up, go teach, etc. except my spring allergies were so bad i really couldn't do much all day. so much for continuing to stay focused on composing =/. dinnered with Mom and Carol for her birthday at TGI Friday's. now i'm just sitting around doing nothing... its actually a pretty nice feeling. maybe thats what i needed all along. anyways, i'm going back to school tomorrow night, probably after dinner (around the usual time) since i have rehearsal after church for the Toronto tour next month. and i'm playing for Choe's worship team tomorrow morning so i'll be at church at 8AM, meaning i should probably go to sleep now. goodnight!

03/28: saw this at the Korean supermarket this morning -

03/26: Exodus: An Ongoing Story

Ever since the journey that led me to the Schoenberg Music Building at UCLA, I have lived a life of obedience, believing that God will always pave the way ahead of me. But as the years passed, I often found myself wondering what all the hours I spent in the classroom will lead to. Being a top student in music theory had helped me earn the respect of my classmates, but academic success doesn't necessarily make me a good musician. Being fluent in both piano and composition leaves me with more options in my pursuit of a musical career, but neither side tugs my heart hard enough for me to choose a definite path. My only self-motivated accomplishment was "Revelation", an amateur piano piece I threw together in a week and played at one of the undergraduate composers' recitals last schoolyear, but even that was the result of a terrible miscommunication that left me no other choice. Another miscommunication left that recital unrecorded, and even though others who participated complained about not having their pieces on CD, I was glad people couldn't own a copy of my last-minute work.

This schoolyear I began the process of studying composition in small classes with professors who have had plenty of experience in the field. Through the many projects they assigned and guided me through, the compositional wheel in me that had been left idle for years finally began to turn again. The fact that I constantly had to present my works in progress to my classmates, who I assumed were all much more experienced and knowledgeable than I was, made me extremely timid at first. But soon I realized that my lack of "common" knowledge gives me a purely original style unlike that of most musicians today. My peers respected this style, and it encouraged me and gave me the confidence I desperately needed.

My largest compositional task to date came in the beginning of winter quarter – to write and score a piece for orchestra, which was to be read and recorded by the UCLA Philharmonia. The project came at the perfect time; having participated in a few less-than-perfect recording sessions for my smaller pieces that lacked preparation on my part, my standards for future compositions had already been raised. Combined with the anxiety of such a large-scale project and the realization that it’s not everyday a full orchestra is provided to play my music, I was ready to give the piece everything I had, making it as close to perfect as possible.

Professor Chihara, who teaches the class privileged with the orchestra reading session, had told us about the project before winter break, suggesting that we start early to avoid the dangers of last-minute work. I took his words to heart, but every attempt at starting early was halted by uncontrollable circumstances ranging from lack of inspiration to physical illness. Day after day, I put off the project, until one weekend in mid-January when I was practicing piano at home and wrote down a five-note motive I played spontaneously. It became the beginning of what soon became my greatest journey since I decided to study music as a major.

The compositional process was definitely not easy; at one point, I was so frustrated with my ideas for the secondary theme that I decided to delete it entirely and start over. That was when another inspiration struck me – a new and exciting melody that contrasts with the first while managing to connect well to what I had already written. Because the piece was so much larger than what my head could contain, I worked slowly and let it progress naturally rather than through a fully planned structure. The structure, as well as more specific details in the piece, revealed themselves to me step by step as time passed.

When the day came for everyone in Professor Chihara’s class to show each other our works in progress, I found myself a little afraid as usual, but much more excited than I was for my previous works. Somehow I knew this piece would generate positive feedback, and that’s exactly what it did. The constant encouragement of my professor and peers motivated me to continue giving it my greatest effort. Never had I been able to return to my workstation after classes or meals and immediately be focused on what I had to do. Even with the TV blaring behind me and half a dozen people screaming for the UCLA basketball team, I remained buried in my headphones, never looking up except on my way to and from the restroom. My music consumed me day and night; I fell asleep to improvisations of unfinished sections and woke to the more familiar phrases playing themselves in my head over and over again. Idea after idea poured into my head, and the more I wrote, the more control I gained over the piece.

As I approached the end of the piece, I decided to employ an idea I first used in “Revelation” – treating the piece as a part of an ongoing story, letting it fade gradually to an end. In this case, the end consists of only a pair of percussionists playing softly. It was probably the riskiest compositional moment of the piece, but it turned out successful.

Throughout the weeks I spent composing, I constantly kept myself a step ahead of my classmates, making sure I finished everything early in case I needed to slow down for revisions or regaining inspiration. The piece was due in class a week before the recording session, and unlike my other pieces, I finished early enough to have a couple days to edit parts, polish details, and print everything out. At the end, I only needed one more thing – a good title. I was never good at naming my pieces; all of my previous projects for the class were named after quirky quotes from Professor Chihara, and I did so mainly because I knew it would be well accepted by people in my class. But this piece was by no means quirky. The result of my stepping back and letting the music construct itself was an extremely serious and passionate work, and I felt heavily burdened with the need for an appropriate title, knowing I wanted the orchestra to treat the piece as seriously as I did. As I listened to the finished work on my computer over and over again, one image stood out in my head – the story of Moses parting the Red Sea. As with “Revelation”, which I also considered a critical part of my musical journey at UCLA (though it was a forced attempt that left me quite unimpressed), I held on to the knowledge that my musical abilities are a gift from God and wanted to give Him glory through my title. After reading the story of Moses in the Bible several times, I decided to name the piece after Exodus, the book in which the story is found. The many moments of passion, wonder, and excitement fit the Israelites’ journey in Exodus, and the ending worked perfectly as a sign that the journey to the Promised Land was yet to be completed. Finally content, I typed in the title, marking the completion of the project.

Those last few days of hard work, along with a difficult midterm two days later, left me more mentally exhausted than I ever was before. After a few quick days of rest, it was time for the big day. By then, I had been so focused on finally being able to relax that I had allowed “Exodus” to slowly drift from my mind. The final score and all the parts had already been given to the conductor, and for all I knew, my part in worrying about the piece was already over. Suddenly I found myself sitting next to Professor Chihara before the UCLA Philharmonia, about to hear my piece played by real instruments for the first time. Something about the experience frightened me; the passion of having my largest work ever being transformed into reality was almost overwhelming, and I was consumed by the fear of once again being confronted with errors in the score that would hinder the performance. There were in fact a few problems on my part, but they were very easily taken care of. The 25 minutes allotted to my piece flew by, and even though the final reading was filled with performance glitches, I couldn’t have asked for more given such a short time frame. The performers responded very positively to my piece, and I know because I heard the words from people who weren’t even present at the reading but simply spoke about it to those who were. I have always been an introvert around the music building, and I often find it hard to express myself and fit in with everyone else. But through “Exodus”, I was able to share for the first time a piece of my heart that I couldn’t have made known to others by any other means.

As crazy as it may seem, I'm finally starting to understand why most great composers in history ended up dying from some sort of physical or psychological illness. I often describe my experience of writing "Exodus" as digging a hole into my own head and spending several weeks living inside. The longer I spent there, the more comfortable I felt. Slowly I disconnected myself from the world I used to live in, and I often ended up behaving unusually or forgetting everyday knowledge such as names of people around me. When the time finally came for me to turn in my finished work, I climbed back out of my head, seeing for the first time the world that was once so familiar to me. It was a very strange transition - a combination of all the things I held close to heart, both prior to and during the journey. My head felt unusually warm, like an automobile engine after a long drive. A part of me was overjoyed at the completion of such a large project and the long-awaited return to my normal life. But something deep inside told me I would never be able to return fully. Never in my life had I poured out so much of me into a single project, and never have I experienced such an immense overflow of passion. It was simply impossible to leave it all behind as if nothing ever happened. I can only pray that I will not be sucked into the fate of yesterday's composers. But as Professor Chihara said to our class after the reading session, the thrill of hearing our pieces come to life confirms that we were meant to be musicians, and once we have been bitten, it will always be a part of us.

His statement begs me to ask myself what the next chapter will be. Opportunities like this reading session don't come around very often, and God only knows if I will ever be blessed with such an amazing experience again. Some have suggested that I send the piece to competitions or seek opportunities to have it performed. But before I take any action, I must address the question of whether or not this piece can stand alone as a complete work. Even though I did not think about multiple movements while writing "Exodus", the "ongoing story" idea at the end left me longing for more. A multi-movement work will definitely earn more respect than a five-minute piece, and having thought about it thoroughly, I'm quite likely going to make it happen. But when it will happen will remain unanswered. The realization that "Exodus" is not even half of the final project I now have in mind gives me a task far too overwhelming when mixed with my current responsibilities as a student working hard to graduate. All I know at this point is that if composition is the path that God has marked out for me, what I have accomplished so far is only the beginning.

For now, I have everything I could ask for - a professionally recorded CD capturing the process of my imagination being transformed into reality. Each time I listen to it, I see a glimpse of the world in my head that awaits my return. As for the many imperfections in performance, they only serve to remind me that I must not dwell too long in satisfaction from what I have accomplished. If "Exodus" is really part of an ongoing story, then I still have plenty of work to do before the story is finished. If composition is God's story in my life, then I pray that I will continue striving to nurture the gifts He has given me, creating music that brings Him glory above all else.

03/25: plans for Spring Break so far - Monday (tomorrow): ice cream w/ Tiff(Lin). Tuesday: free. Wednesday: hang out with Ken & Steph(Lin) and maybe Cinda?. Thursday: Carol's track meet. Friday: free. Saturday: teaching (usual schedule), dinner (reserved). Sunday: church, Claymusic practice (for Toronto tour! =) ), go back to school (nighttime). if you wanna add to this list, please let me know =).

as my time at UCLA approaches its end, i find myself often coming to the realization that it's my last time following much of the yearly routine of college life. my last Winter quarter has come to an end, and my last Spring quarter will soon begin. and of course, that means that this is my last real "Spring Break". by this time next year, i should have a stable job that turns spring break into another ordinary week. at least thats what i hope for. and since this is my last spring break, i want to do whatever i can to make the most out of it.

one thing i realized after the many breaks i've had from college is that i'm extremely lazy when i'm in my room. every time i decide i want to get something done, i'll sit down at the computer and end up browsing my favorite websites, maybe with a few attempts at productivity woven between the clicks, then eventually lose energy completely and fall on my bed for a nap. those who are familiar with my lifestyle at school know that i almost never run out of energy except when its late at night or after i finished a big project or exam. and of course, i never take naps, except occasional 15-minute 'desk naps' during intense periods of studying. i guess its true to say that home is where i'm closest to myself without being influenced by my friends... but does that really make me an extremely lazy and unproductive person?

i realized that even during the times last week when i was by myself at school, i didn't run out of energy. perhaps its the eager anticipation of people stopping by to visit me. if that's the case, i better start shifting my focus, cuz once i move out of the dorms my room will just be an ordinary bedroom at home. what is this source of energy that always seems to keep me going when i'm at school? and how can i bring it back home with me? it also applies to my compositions... at school i work so hard to write my pieces, and desperately wish my environment could be a bit quieter so i could focus better. but at home when i have the very silence i wanted, i start to procrastinate and persuade myself to leave my work until i go back to school. i'm definitely not gonna let that happen this spring break. tomorrow i will begin slashing a large number of things off my to-do list, and around evening/night i plan to begin composing one of the three pieces i need to do next quarter. God, help me to stay focused. my music is for Your glory, and i'm not gonna let my environment hinder me from doing what i need to do.

03/24: Saturday night, i'm back at home for spring break and so is my iMac =). the past few days have been amazing... my only real 'mandatory' activities were my piano lesson Thursday morning (which was actually optional) and the organ 'recital' (a.k.a. 'fun final' hehe), neither of which causes me any stress. so basically i got to sit around and just relax in my dorm room - something i haven't really done all quarter since there's always some kind of school- or music-related activitiy on my mind.

Thursday - waking up to lounge music made me not want to get up at all, and i also felt a bit lightheaded, probably cuz a part of me was subconsciously awake all night analyzing the music. hehe... actually i did learn a new jazz chord or two... hopefully i still remember them =). anyways, ate some fruit in my room, went to SMB to practice organ for a little bit, attempted to meet with Professor Krouse regarding counterpoint class but couldn't find him cuz he was half an hour late to class. piano lesson, talked about what went wrong the night before... hopefully i'll be able to stay on top of things for next quarter. came back for lunch w/ Elizabeth as planned. we actually had a few extra swipes left, so we went to get smoothies, then she went to practice organ and i went to Sunset Blvd (come on, the sun hasn't been out all week!). dinnered w/ Elizabeth and Jane, then we chilled in my room at night. lots of people already went home so the floor was already pretty quiet, even though some people still had finals =/. i learned how to make '3D Origami'... its pretty addictive, maybe i'll do it during history next quarter? oh by the way, i aced the class =). my first A in history since 26A. Jane took a long nap on the futon (surprise? hehe)... Elizabeth borrowed Phantom of the Opera from the music library so we watched it even though it was really late already. i was still a bit lightheaded but i couldn't possibly say no to Phantom. especially with an organ 'recital' the next day hehe. Joyce also came by to chill with us. party ended after the movie ended... i decided that even though playing music overnight made me lightheaded, it was worth doing again. so i did =).

Friday - got to sleep in until like 10. yes, that's considered sleeping in for me on a schoolday =). lunched with Elizabeth Jane and Mariko. there werent a lot of people left in the dorms, so we basically hung out the entire day. the organ recital was pretty fun... when Claryce was practicing i messed around with the lights and dimmed it like a cathedral - just when Professor Bull entered. and he decided to leave it that way! we all messed up a lot, but we still get A's. i hope? hehe... then the most amazing thing happened - after we finished we somehow started talking about ghosts, a.k.a. phantoms... and at that point i couldn't resist any longer, so i hopped on the organ and played Phantom of the Opera (at least the first few measures cuz thats all i really know). then Prof. Bull told us he was playing it at a concert at Royce Hall at night and had the music with him, so he played it for us. it was soooo good! what an amazing way to end a quarter of organ class =). walked back with Elizabeth and Anahit... thanks Anahit for the ride to Hedrick =). went w/ Elizabeth to Bruin Cafe before they closed (at 5) to use up our last swipes on iceblends and kept them in the fridge for later use. chilled in my room and 'existed' for a long time =). dinner w/ the same gang from lunch - we went a lot later than planned, but still had enough time to go to Noodle Planet for some good Asian food. Jane went back first cuz shes had to pack and go home. me Elizabeth and Mariko ended up spontaneously deciding to catch a concert at Royce Hall. yep... i love it when professors make an effort to get to know us even outside of the classroom; Professor Bull called me and Elizabeth to let us know he just found out the concert (Carlos De Antonis) was free to see if wanted to come. i didnt realize until i went that it was my first time sitting in the audience of Royce Hall since an orientational meeting before i even came to UCLA. the lighting was amazing, and so was the singing, especially the Phantom song =). that made me really really hyper for the rest of the night. Elizabeth and Mariko came to chill in my room enjoying talking, drinks, and origami for the entire night (they were both staying overnight). my Mom arrived to pick me up at around 12:15.

Today - typical saturday - woke up, went to teach, etc... got a surprise call from Josh - turns out he just graduated this quarter so he's going back home (up north), and he was around the Rowland Heights area. so he came over n we chatted for most of the afternoon, and Mom invited him to stay for dinner =). its sad that he speaks more Chinese to my Mom than i do. hehe... oh and we found out we have soooo much in common. our main interests both revolve around God, music, and cars. i didn't know he even liked cars until i saw his Xanga and found a pic of a Gallardo he saw in a parking lot. so yea... we're definitely gonna keep in touch and hopefully visit each other sometime. besides, he probably knows my own city better than i do hehe.

so anyways... its almost 10PM right now and i think im actually gonna go get ready to sleep early to make up for the lack of quality sleep in the past few days. no worries, it was all worth it =). as for spring break, so far i'm free basically anytime this coming week, so if anyone wants to hang out please invite me =). i'm pretty sure i'll end up spending a lot of time at home, but thats ok cuz i plan to be very productive and do a lot of composing. next quarter will be death if i don't get started now - apparently we're writing music for the womens choir, wind ensemble, AND philharmonia, plus a second movement to the still-unfinished trio for Lefko's class. my (unrealistic?) goal is to have one of the three big pieces either planned out in detail or done before school starts. we'll see how that goes...

03/21: just past midnight... Midnight Cafe just about ended. even though we advertise it as 11PM-1AM, it typically ends around 12 to 12:30, when the food runs out and people decide to return to study. we had 5 pizzas, thanks to Tracy and Brian from Rieber (nobody in Hedrick had enough swipes). there's three slices of pizza left and one buffalo wing, so if you want it then come before its gone =). actually i doubt anyones gonna take it anytime soon.

mid-week update: monday - woke up, studied, lunch w/ Elizabeth and Mariko, studied, attempted to go to SMB to practice and ended up finding Dianne and her friend Lydia sitting around Bruinwalk and joined them for like an hour =). practiced, more studying. dinner w/ Jane. she came over to study afterwards and we were supposed to keep each other focused, but then she fell asleep =/. more studying... Elizabeth came over and quizzed me before i went to sleep. that helped a lot =). Tuesday- breakfast with Michelle and Christine. studied a little more before the final (see previous entry about the final). practiced piano afterwards, since i had one day to finish memorizing the fugue i just learned like a week ago. chilled, dinner w/ Elizabeth, chilled some more, Midnight Cafe #1 in 5South. Today- breakfast with Lisa and Victoria. practiced. lunched @ Rendezvous (cuz nobody wanted to lunch with me =/ ). spent the afternoon alternating between practicing (on my keyboard) and talking with Jane and Richard. the only way i could memorize music in one day is to constantly practice and clear my mind, then start over again. dinnered with Elizabeth and Jane. then came the recital - i volunteered to go second so i could get it over with. it was soo horrible... i didn't put in any technical details i learned simply because i had to focus entirely on memory... and all i wanted to was to get from one side of the piece to the other without being frozen on stage not knowing what to play next. i did freeze a couple times, but caught myself right away. but still, at least i made it to the end, so i guess i shouldn't complain. chilled w/ Elizbeth until it was time to go with Lisa and Rosio to pick up food for Midnight Cafe.

so yea... now that the party died down its time to sit around and chill until whenever i feel like going to sleep. Richard already went home earlier tonight... it feels really weird being here by myself, since usually i'm the one who leaves later. maybe i'll leave the computer playing lounge music on streaming radio all night as i sleep. after all, i haven't made good use of my Apple Remote yet =). anyways, since the pizza hasn't been touched since i started writing this, i think i'm gonna go eat one myself. thats the good thing about throwing parties in my room - whatever's leftover can potentially end up in my stomach! =)

03/20: done with finals =). i mean, final. hehe... so the most amazing thing happened on the history final... first of all, let me explain my "Sudoku Theory". it sounds ridiculous, but i believe that doing Sudoku (or really any form of slight distraction) helps me get better grades. the reason - i, along with many others that i know, suffer from having a very short attention span. if you make me sit and listen for two hours and take notes, i'll zone out and fall asleep and learn nothing. but by doing Sudoku, Crossword puzzles, drawing, or anything else that keeps me awake, i'm partially distracted but partially listening to (and absorbing) everything the professor says. proof that this works - when i studied with Nancy for the midterm, she took a lot of notes but didnt understand a lot of it (since the professor is kinda random sometimes), while i took no notes at all, but somehow was able to explain what her notes meant simply by reading them. so the knowledge is all hidden in the back of my head, and all i need is a means of pulling them out to the front. (and for those who still aren't convinced, i actually aced that midterm =) ).

so the reason i'm explaining all this... i found out yesterday that i had nobody to study with for the final. what that meant to me was that i had nobodys notes to look at. the test is 1/3 essay (promt already given to us), 1/3 listening, and 1/3 short answer (based on lecture). i was pretty much hopeless without notes, so i basically decided to screw the short answer section completely and focus on the listening and essays. (most people worry most about short answer... but why worry if its not gonna help me?). pretty risky (and stupid) thing to do... but i made sure i knew my essays well and memorized as much as i could for the listening section. as everyone was panicking before the exam, i heard people trying to remember what year all the pieces were written, and it seems like i had prepared myself quite well on that section. then the moment of truth came - just before passing out the exams, Professor Morris made an unexpected announcement - he had made a last-minute decision that the final will NOT HAVE A SHORT ANSWER SECTION. that means NOTHING from lecture is on the final. so basically the part that i didnt study at all was entirely removed from the test, and the stuff i worked hard on was exactly what was on it. how perfect is that =).

anyways... now that i'm done with finals (don't kill me?), its time to figure out what the rest of finals week looks like. after all, i'll be here til Friday at around midnight. first of all, even though this is all really last-minute, MIDNIGHT CAFE is still happening this week. actually, the first one was tonight in 5-South and ended about 10 minutes ago. the second one is tomorrow (Wednesday) night in my room. same time as usual (11PM-1AM). we successfully found a source of swipes for pizzas, even though there won't be nearly as many as last quarter. maybe if we have time we'll get some stuff in Westwood too (beer chips anyone? hehe). so feel free to drop by anytime, either for food or just to say hi. or both =). and definitely help spread the word so more people will know about it. next quarter will be my last Midnight Cafe, and i want it to be a BIG party...

so just because i'm done with finals, doesn't mean i have nothing to do all week. tomorrow night is my piano recital and friday afternoon is the organ recital, neither of which i'm ready for. especially piano... my fugue is not memorized, and i have less than a day to have it memorized. wish me luck. thanks Elizabeth for making me repeatedly practice... i'm sure it helped a lot.

one last thing - tomorrow night will be my last dinner in the dorms this quarter (who wants to join me? hehe). Thursday night i'll be in Westwood with Elizabeth, Jane, and whoever else wants to join us... its great to end the quarter with a whole day to hang out. as for Friday, the dining halls are all closed at night, so we'll probably be in Westwood again. if you're gonna be here Friday night, you're definitely invited too, so let me know if u wanna come. and at night my room will be open to whoever wants to come hang out. its gonna be really quiet around the dorms cuz everyone will be gone already. but for those who are here, lets make the most out of it. and besides, are there really quiet hours the night before Spring Break? =)

03/18: just cuz i updated this week already, doesn't mean there isn't gonna be an SNU =). and there's a LOT i need to write about. picking up from where the last entry ended...

Thursday: breakfast with Josh n Ran. walked to campus w/ Steph(Li) and Gloria. practiced. lesson. finished editing essay and spent the afternoon on Sunset and the 405. i've been waiting for that moment for months... now that daylight savings has passed, rush hour is once again in line with good lighting. and i got lots of good 'flying' shots. came back to Hedrick for floor dinner... they're getting smaller and smaller, but its still pretty awesome. went with Elizabeth to the Philharmonia concert. walked back with Elizabeth Jason and Mariko (just like the previous night).

Friday - last day of classes. actually i've been so busy this quarter that i don't even feel it coming to an end at all. the end of week 10 also means the last day of what some people refer to as my "breakfast club", since i don't get up every day for breakfast during finals week (unless i know for sure there's someone to eat with =) ). thats one of the most amazing things about this quarter... as far as i can remember, there was only ONE day when i ate breakfast by myself. thanks everyone for making my mornings so awesome. so i spent my last breakfast with Joy Qi Josh and Jolene - a nice combo of Intervarsity, former floormate, and current floormates =). practiced, history discussion, lunch w/ Richard Tammy and Iva. we realized it might be the last time we get onion rings this quarter, so totally the four of us got ELEVEN boxes of rings. our hearts must hate us =/. dont worry, i dont do this to myself very often. chilled for a little, went to organ class. dinnered w/ Elizabeth Jane Lucy and Alex. Alex is a car-freak too... not everyday i meet someone like myself (even though i still have to constrain myself so people wont think i'm insane). walked to chorale rehearsal w/ Jane... actually we were totally late so we ran halfway there. it was so tiring, especially for old "fat" people like myself (hehe). after rehearsal Jane was gonna go back to study right away, but we ended up staying to watch the womens choir rehearse for a while, then caught the last 10 minutes of Luke n Nancy's recital and walked back with Elizabeth afterwards. chilled in the hallway with a bunch of floormates who didn't wanna study =), then Emily came over to visit for a while. then i wandered to 5South and chilled with people there til like almost 1AM.

Saturday - final chorale rehearsal in the morning before the concert. since we were doing a photo shoot, everyone had to come dressed. luckily i realized i could take advantage of having a locker at SMB and bring an extra shirt to wear while walking (to avoid sweating all over the dress shirt and having to wear it again at night. eww...). it was still friggin hot though, especially when we were all standing outside Royce Hall at the hottest time of the day. lunched @ Rieber with Jane and "her friends from Rieber", who turned out to be Tracy and Jeff =). didnt have anything to do in the afternoon, so i decided to start studying early for Tuesday's final. yes, i actually work ahead =). ok fine, it was only cuz i had to prepare my notes so i coudl bring them with me to study on Sunset Blvd. dinnered with Elizabeth. got dressed and walked w/ Jane to the concert. concert turned out pretty well... thanks everyone for coming. oh and if you feel like you need a good laugh in the middle of this stressful week, go find Jonathan and ask him to tell you how he managed to get himself and his two friends into the concert without buying tickets. came back to Hedrick and changed back to normal clothes, went to Bruin Cafe w/ Victoria and chilled in Rieber for a while. oh and i called Spyder like i said i would, and we worked out the details for this morning's "surprise". and the surprise is... *drumroll...*

the most eagerly-anticipated carhunting trip so far... CALABASAS 01: SUPERCAR SUNDAY. SCS happens every Sunday morning, but since i'm never really around, i rarely get to go. special thanks to Spyder's mom for giving me a ride. got to meet with the Car-Parazzi gang again and enjoy an amazing morning of car-freak fun. i won't post pics now simply cuz i havent had time to look through them all yet, but stuff i saw include a Diablo SE30, Diablo 6.0, Murci Roadster, RR Phantom II, Auburn Boattail, Qvale Mangusta, Zimmer Golden Spirit, two Carrera GTs, three Ford GTs, two Shelby Cobras, a classic Aston V8 Vantage, and a million Ferraris. normally the show would also consist of Enzos, a DTM or two, and also a few celebrities here and there.... maybe its the weird weather that kept them from coming. but i'm definitely not complaining... and we also saw a Z06 and M6 Convertible get ticketed by the cop that was hiding across the street and suddenly went after them after doing a burnout. friggin insane... and i made it back to UCLA just a little past noon. its one of those days that feels like its all just a dream, even though the pictures tell me it's real =). i'm pretty sure i'll be on campus at least one more weekend next quarter, and i think i know exactly what i plan to do that Sunday already =).

anyways... since i had the afternoon free, i decided to study. i was originally planning on continuing the morning's fun in Beverly Hills, but the weather kept me from doing so. Michelle(Panh) spread a huge blanket on the floor in her room to use as a study mat and invited me to join... so thats where i spent the whole afternoon. and i got a lot of studying (and napping) done. went to Food For Finals w/ Tammy, followed by dinner. Jane came to join us too and we stayed n talked for a long time - you know, the typical we-dont-wanna-study-so-lets-just-sit-here-and-talk attitude... not that i'm complaining =). tomorrow's when the hardcore studying really kicks in for me...

so yea, Tuesday's the history final, and theres a LOT i need to study. i'll call Nancy tomorrow and we'll study together just like we did for the midterm. by the way, i forgot to mention that i got the midterm back earlier this week and found out that i got a 90!!! i literally screamed in class and scared the crap out of Nancy. (sorry!). its definitely much higher than i expected, but i won't let it make me lose focus until after the final, cuz i still need to study hard for it. if anyone has notes i can borrow, please let me know cuz i have none. hehe... and now that i'm done writing this entry, its time for me to shut up, take a deep breath, and dive into nonstop study mode until the final is over. wish me luck....

03/14: mid-week update. its a little past 11PM and i just completed my 12-page music history essay. ok fine, its "10-12 pages" so mine is like 10 pages and 3 lines. and that's including a full header with my name, professor's name, course number, section number, and due date - double spaced. i feel like i'm doing the professor a favor - who the heck wants to read a stack of 12-page essays by a bunch of music majors over spring break!? i dont even want to read it myself to proofread it... but i think i need to do that. who knows, i might have pasted the same paragraph twice accidentally without realizing it. lets hope thats not the case, cuz i've already pulled out every last inch of BS from my butt, and anything new i add at this point will sound like crap.

so anyways, all i need to do now is cite the sources, which i'll do after i take a break (a.k.a. write this entry). so um... week 10 update, part 1. Sunday night - chilled with Elizabeth and started the essay (on Stravinsky's "The Soldier's Tale". Professor Morris would probably kill me for using the English name, but he's not reading this so it doesn't matter =) ). Monday - breakfast with Josh. practiced piano and organ, lunch w/ Tammy. arrived at orchestration early so i won't end up going last in the reading session - and it worked =). the piece turned out pretty well... hopefully by the end of this quarter i'll have time to go to the Mancini studio again and get everything i've written so far on CD. chorale, walked with Jane afterwards. dinnered @ DeNeve with Jane and Lucy. worked on essay the rest of the night. Tuesday - breakfast with Ran. walked w/ Nancy to SMB. practiced piano. Nancy invaded the organ room when i was gonna practice and we ended up playing Phantom of the Opera the whole time. hehe... i really need to learn how to play that well. then again, i should proabbly worry about the pieces i'm learning in class first. history class. no composition class, so for the first time this quarter i had lunch on a Tuesday(!!). walked back with Nancy and Elizabeth and lunched @ Deneve. yes, i've been going to Deneve a lot these days. that means i've been eating a lot of french fries. soo bad for me =/. went back to Hedrick to continue the stupid essay. Pre-Catalyst dinner. special "Table Setting" event for Catalyst, performed by Jenny Hall & gang. walked back with Alex and Ben. essay. chilled w/ Lisa Tammy Richard and Elizabeth while working. Today - breakfast with Tammy Lisa n Joyce. walked w/ Lisa, practiced, essayed... skipped lunch to do essay. fine, its cuz i didn't have anyone to eat with =/ (Elizabeth knows me to well hehe). its ok though cuz i got a LOT of work done. no orchestration class. chorale, walked back w/ Jane and ate (in Hedrick this time! and no i didn't get fries...). essay. Symphony Orchestra concert. chilled with Christina and her fanclub (hehe) afterwards for a bit. walked back with Elizabeth Jason and Mariko. essay... finally finished! well finished everything except the citations. actually, i spent the past half an hour talking with Elizabeth rather than doing my work, and its already past midnight so i guess i'll finish it tomorrow. nothing to worry about, cuz it shouldnt take more than half an hour. and i finish class at 1PM tomorrow.

yea, i know, i barely had any classes this week. that leaves me plenty of free time that i can definitely put to good use (yes, shooting cars is good use hehe). as for the 'surprise' on Sunday, i'm still quite skeptical about it actually happening. but even if all else fails, i can go to Beverly Hills. and i'll have to force my expectations down, cuz its very unlikely i'll see anything better than what i saw the last two trips. (actually, there's been a few Veyrons cruising around the triangle lately. but what are the chances i'll show up on the right day at the right time?).

so before i shut up... the Chorale concert is this Saturday in Schoenberg Hall at 7PM and 9PM. the program is identical, so come to whichever one you want. (if you come to 9PM, you can walk back with me hehe =) ). as for finals week, my only test (history) is on Tuesday, so after that all i have left is my piano recital (Wed) and organ recital (Fri). which means i'm basically free for most of the week. if you want to come visit me @ UCLA during those days, let me know early so i wont make any other plans. and for those who are in Hedrick, yes there will be Midnight Cafe again. it might not be as crazy as before, since all of us seem to be abnormally low on swipes this quarter. hopefully we'll find someone to donate them. but either way, i'll post the dates/locations as soon as we know for sure. anyways... its getting late and i should shut up and go to sleep. goodnight!

03/09: Sunday afternoon. not going back to school til after dinner today, so i guess i'll take some time to write now. the past few days have been awesome... i guess i'm just quite amazed that for three days in a row things actually worked out as planned - dinner with Yune on Wednesday, dinner with Judy Thursday, and Stephenie & Jennifer visiting UCLA Friday. not that i don't trust them or anything... its just that nowadays college people tend to be so busy (especially around this time of the quarter) that i rarely expect things to happen as planned anymore. and i admit i'm one of those people myself - sometimes i say i'm gonna do something and when the time comes i find myself way too busy and no longer enthusiastic enough to carry out the plan. its ok... the quarter's almost over and i'm glad i'm still staying on top of things and doing my best to take advantage of my second-to-last quarter in the dorms.

soo rewind to Thursday night (after the last entry) - after finishing "Peter and the Briar Patch" i wasnt' quite in the mood to start essaying, so i took a long long break. talked on the phone with Mike (we're trying to work out something really really cool, but i wont write anything about it yet =) ). ended up chilling wth Elizabeth Harkiran Lisa Brian and Raymond til like 1:30AM. haven't stayed up that late in a while... but once in a while won't hurt right? anyways, about Friday... had breakfast with Joy Qi and Josh. ran into Eve on the way to class, who didn't know that Stephenie and Jennifer were coming for sure. but at least i found them a home during the two hours i had organ class. walked with Eve to class, then practiced organ for about an hour and a half (i made sure i arrived at 9AM so nobody would beat me to the organ room), then went to bother Elizabeth in the piano room until history class. finally we're done with those stupid weekly quizzes... at first i actually thought they would help me stay on top of things in class, but the instructors' figure-everything-out-yourself attitude is simply ridiculous, and i cared more about getting the quiz over with than actually doing well. but anyways... walked back to Hedrick with Sophia. lunched with Richard Lisa Tammy and Chester. Lisa n Tammy came over to chill while i cleaned up the room a bit, just in time for Stephenie and Jennifer to arrive. it was their first time at UCLA =). first we chilled in my room, then i took them to Eve's then went to class. meanwhile they went to Westwood (without me! =/ )... i met back with them @ Eve's room. played Super Smash Bros... i dont even know how to play but i beat Jennifer =). hehe... dinnered @ DeNeve with Steph Jen Eve Steph (Eve's roommate is also Steph hehe) and Todd. i had promised Jane i would go to the chamber singers concert in Powell at night, and Steph n Jen agreed to come too. we met with Elizabeth and Jonathan @ Covel and walked down together and arrived just in time. the concert was soo good... makes the rest of the chorale sound like crap (great way to encourage us before our own concert next week huh? hehe). met up w/ Jane afterwards and walked back together... thanks Jonathan for treating us to Bruin Cafe =). chilled in my room for the rest of the night... ate snacks and watched the Matrix. Jennifer got me addicted to this flying cowboy game on her cellphone... and i refused to stop until i beat her high score =). left UCLA at like 12:30 after taking a million pictures (which will all be online eventually hehe)... thanks Stephenie for taking me home =).

Saturday (yesterday) - i'm almost willing to bet money that there was some kind of car show around the area that i didn't know about. i had just enough time to get gas on my way to teach in Diamond Bar. last time i went to that station, an Elise arrived just in time for me to get pics (and a vid). this time it was a brand new orange Gallardo Spyder. friggin insane. and while i was shooting it a dark blue Murcielago with custom rims flew down Diamond Bar blvd. at least now i know it's not impossible to see Lambos around here. went to Banana Bay for a late lunch w/ Mom & Carol. took Carol n Mark to Coffeehouse at night... awesome as usual. Steph and Jen came too. there were sooo many people this time. i can't wait to see what the next COfeehouse (in May) will turn out like. took Esther Ivy and Mark home afterwards, then came home and changed my clock. yes, daylight savings. you guys know what that means to me. in fact, if i miraculously finish my history essay early, i might just end up 'flying' around the 405 Freeway during rush hour. hehe...

Today - went to church... played for Robert's team cuz Shaw was sick. got In-N-Out with Carol afterwards. now i'm sitting here writing this thing. i guess all i really have left to do before going back to school is practice piano, which i'll do right after i shut up. its friggin hot though.. hopefully it will cool down a bit when i practice. for this coming week, all i have to do is my strign trio and my history paper. i'll get started on the paper tonight. wish me luck.

one last thing before i shut up. a few minutes before i started writing, i got an unexpected email that i found quite disturbing. it's no big deal, and im already used to people thinking i'm insane for making such a big deal out of it. i'll describe details later after i think things through a little more, but for now i can only pray that it's fake. if indeed someone is really attempting to corrupt me by forcing me to violate my personal beliefs and be a hypocrite, i would really like the person to be honest and confess. i have a few names in mind, but until i know for sure i won't judge anyone. and no i'm not exactly mad at you... i'm much more hurt and disappointed that you are so blinded by the flow of society that you placed conformity above friendship, and i would love to meet with you and understand exactly why you did what you did (again i'm not mad... i'm just really concerned and i don't want to leave things in the dark like this). i really hope to find out the truth soon. for now, it's time for me to go practice piano. bye!

03/08: Thursday night. just finished writing a trio for flute, harp, and vibraphone. "Peter in the Briar Patch", named after another one of Chihara's random comments hehe. i guess its a good time to take a little break right now. actually i have an essay due tomorrow, but that's been finished since Tuesday. i'm really learning to stay on top of things these days, and if everything goes as planned, maybe the end of this quarter won't be all that tough after all.

so um... time for the week9 update, at least up to this point. tomorrow's gonna be a busy day but i'll get to that later. first rewind to Saturday. went to teach, had a late lunch w/ Stephenie and Jennifer. havent seen them in sooo long. i'm glad they still want to hang out with me =). went to Cue (just like the good old days) and Kiwiberri. more teaching. cellgroup at night. had an awesome talk with Eugene afterwards. sharing/praying time is always one of my favorite parts of cellgroup... people nowadays dont tend to open up and share because its usually really awkward, but an environment like this really makes it easy to talk, and i'm glad we've been setting time apart for it a lot lately. Sunday - church, lunch w/ Ken in San Gabriel. met w/ Anny and she took me back to school (thanks!). dinnered w/ Elizabeth. homework. Bruin Cafe w/ Sue. more homework.

Monday - breakfast w/ Tracy Jolene Anny Tammy and Bridget. we had to move to a bigger table... how awesome is that? my dream come true =). hehe... talked w/ Anny n Tammy til like 9:30. walked to campus w/ Anny. practiced piano/organ. lunch w/ Lisa Richard and Rock. classes. met with Ammon after chorale to discuss plans for our senior recital. oops did i say that out loud? ok fine... so here's the plan so far - me and Ammon are gonna share a senior recital, probably weaving our program together rather than splitting half/half. it should be at the end of May or beginning of June, but i wont give any exact details until things are confirmed. anyways... found a DB7 Vantage GTA parked across the street from the music building... one of 17 in America. thank God i had my scooter, otherwise i wouldn't have decided to take the long way where it was parked. anyways... dinner w/ Tammy Ran and Doris. the rest of the night went exactly as planned - blitz through the 3-page essay due on Friday and get it over with. and if it wasn't for the fact that the stupid music library website was down, i would have finished easily. Tuesday - breakfast with Josh. practiced, appointment @ Mancini Studio, classes. essay. Lisa and Janelle had to go to Catalyst early, so i was sporadically put in charge of the pre-Catalyst dinner and walk to campus. it was basically just me Dean Hannah and Yiki... small group but still awesome. started my new trio at night. Wednesday - breakfast w/ Ran Josh and Phil. practiced @ 9:30 - a bit later than usual, leaving me less time than i wanted to compose before lunch. turns out i didnt have anyone to eat with anyways, so i decided to skip lunch and take advantage of the daytime silence in the dorms to compose - and i got a LOT done. went to orchestration class, got out early so i cruised around campus saying hi to people =). chorale. dinner w/ Elizabeth and Julia. more composing. dinner again with Yune. haven't seen her in sooo long... its great to catch up again =). more composing, finished writing piece. Today - breakfast w/ Josh Summer and Brian. practice, lesson. classes. edited piece. dinner w/ Judy. her last meal in the dorms before graduating =). she attempted to eat EVERYTHING in the dining hall, but it obviously didn't happen hehe. finished editing piece. and now here i am writing this thing.

so anyways... tomorrow's gonna be an awesome day, cuz Stephenie and Jennifer are coming to visit UCLA! haven't had people visit in sooo long. i can't wait =). as for the last couple weeks of the quarter, i can finally count the things i have to do with one hand - history term paper, string trio, history final, piano recital, organ recital. i think thats all.. am i forgetting anything? owellz hehe. anyways... i guess i'll shut up now. bye!

03/03: this entry is dedicated to one of the most incredible days of my life - March 2, 2007. it started as an ordinary but ideal Friday - breakfast with Josh, chilled on Bruinwalk for a little bit, then practiced piano and organ, then went to history discussion. having planned out the rest of the afternoon already, i brought nothing with me except a pen, a paper (for history quiz), and my notes to study from. immediately when class ended, i went to my locker and exchanged the academic materials for my scooter and began another amazing afternoon in Beverly Hills. yes, that's twice in one week. i guess it makes up for the fun i missed last month when i was too busy composing. so first let me start with a couple pics from Sunday's trip.

03/01: Thursday night and once again enjoying the feeling of having absolutely nothing to do. in fact, i'm so free right now that i feel like writing about my week even though its not over yet. i remember back in the day when i updated whenever i felt like it, when there was no such thing as SNU's (for those who didn't know, that means "Sunday Night Update". hehe). the whole SNU idea was pretty much the result of me having too much to do that i couldn't update on a regular basis and had to save all my babbling for large entries. but since i have the rare opportunity of having free time right now, might as well take advantage of it =). first of all, for those who were wondering, i got the "Exodus" recording on CD already, so if you wanna swing by my room and borrow it, feel free to do so anytime. i'm working on a big entry about the piece, which should be done by next week. but anyways, i'll do the update first.

Monday - breakfast with Jolene and Josh. practiced (both piano and organ! =) ), lunch w/ Tammy, classes. dinner with Tammy Lisa and Jane. chilled and did homework. Tuesday - breakfast w/ Victoria Josh n Tracy. practiced piano. appointment @ Mancini Studio again - i almost have all my pieces edited, so i'll go one more time next week (same time) and everything should be fine. classes. Olive Garden with Anny Tammy Bridget Doris Rosio Richard Dean and Dennis. spent soo much money but the food was soo good! made it to Catalyst for the first few minutes, but then i left cuz they were going out til really late and i didn't wanna be gone that long. (having free time doesn't mean i have nothing to do hehe). i did take half an hour or so though to just walk around campus at night and talk to God. there's so much that's been on my mind lately, and its so great to have time to think things through some more. chilled with Kelly and Peggy back in Hedrick. Wednesday - breakfast w/ Joyce and Tracy. walked to campus with Dianne. practiced a lot. walked back with Joy. lunch with Joy n Sarah. chilled in my room (working on my wall). walked to/from Chorale with Elizabeth. (where's Jane? tsk tsk...) dinner w/ Elizabeth Anny n Tammy. dinnered again later with Sue. (yup yup, multiple meals again, just like the good old days...). Today - breakfast w/ Dianne Tracy Yiki and Victoria. walked to campus w/ Victoria, practiced, piano lesson. i got the amazing opportunity of playing the Prelude & Fugue i'm learning on a few harpsichords. it was soooo amazing... i felt so inspired that i could probably have sat down and practiced for a few hours straight. too bad i had class... dinner w/ Elizabeth Anny and Tammy. (i like how the first letters of their names spell EAT. haha...) continued eating with Jason Hannah Iva Janelle and Jolene. it was supposed to be a girls small group thing, but Jason and I were there first and they joined us hehe. anyways... that brings us to the present once again.

tomorrow is gonna be an amazing day. since there's no organ class, i've decided to go to the Triangle once again immediately after history discussion (ends at noon), then come back to take a lil break then go straight to Santa Monica with Elizabeth. she hasn't gone to Santa Monica before, so its about time she gets to see it =). it's gonna be a very exhausting day, but i'm totally looking forward to it. anyways... i guess i'll shut up now!