06/23: I haven't felt this way in a long time - that very deep sense of contentment and peace that just makes me want to stay up all night and treasure it. I often say that I know I'm blessed as a child of God and that I know God is sovereign over everything. But this is one of those times when I find myself amazed and overjoyed at just how true those statements are. Whether it's the people He placed in my life or the way He orchestrates the timing of everything, there are just too many reasons to be thankful, and the only thing I can still wish for right now is a little more time so that I can share in detail all the joy that is overflowing inside me. These next few months are going to be insanely busy, but I can see more and more that a lot of the things taking place during this time are going to impact my life for many years to come. It's a little scary too, but I'm definitely excited. And I simply pray for wisdom to continue following God, neither jumping ahead of nor falling behind His perfect and sovereign timing.

06/17: The Most Profane Words

I find it interesting how, even though we Asian-Americans are often perceived by others as passive, quiet, and well-behaved, many of us use words that are considered inappropriate in schools and professional settings without realizing it. Profane language is so commonly heard in popular media these days that those who learn English as a second language naturally think of it as proper slang and apply it to their daily speech. It wasn't long after I got my current office job that the first S-Bomb was thrown across the room (by a co-worker irked by the performance of our aging copy machine). Over the years, co-workers that came and left introduced all kinds of new weapons to the battlefield. And because our industry usually consists of communicating with customers and vendors through email rather than seeing them in person, most of the words verbally exchanged across our office consist of criticizing those who are careless or less knowledgeable and venting about the countless problems we have to deal with. And usually, the language used is as colorful as the brightest of rainbows.

Sometimes I'm amazed at how negative the whole office environment can be. I never really wanted to ride on those rainbows, but because I happen to spend more than half of the time I'm awake during the week in the office, it's really hard not to be affected. Naturally, my attitudes began to change too, and as a result so did my language, especially when in the office. A part of me became content with living with two completely different attitudes (and two very different sets of vocabulary) at work and elsewhere. But of course, the two worlds often bleed into one another, and it's hard to not let my attitude at work have an impact on my attitudes at home, with other people, and as a Christian.

Last night, Tiffany pointed out that I've been saying "Jesus Christ" a lot, usually as an expletive. And I'm very thankful that she did, because when I prayed about it before going to sleep, I was deeply convicted of the severity of a seemingly harmless statement. I guess it's easy to assume that a simple word or phrase shouldn't be taken too seriously, and in this case, it's technically not even considered profanity by social standards. But as Christians we should not live by the standards of the world, but rather those set by God. And it simply doesn't make sense to believe in the power of Jesus Christ and take His name so lightly. The F-word essentially means sexual intercourse, and the S-word is really just plain ol' poop. These words in and of themselves really do no harm, aside from the fact that our society perceives them negatively. (As Christians, our decision to refrain from those words should not be out of obligation, but rather a desire to use language that reflect at Godly attitude toward life.) But to use the name of the One who paid the price for my sins without regard to its meaning is essentially to deny Christ's value to me as a believer - A sin countless times worse than the most profane of words in any language.

To realize that I've been throwing around words with a much more severe meaning than the worst of "cuss words" penetrates my desire both to be morally upright and, most importantly, to live as a reflection of my faith. Thanks to Tiffany's reminder, I've come to realize once again how easy it is to stray from God's standards without even realizing it. Sure, I spend eight hours a day in an environment where the name of God's son is often thrown around casually along with all kinds of curse words in English, Mandarin, and Cantonese. But it's my own choice whether to become like the people around me or to live for what I believe. This morning before I stepped into the office, I prayed for protection and for determination to control not only my tongue, but also the attitudes behind my speech. And it's a prayer that I will continue to pray daily from now on.

06/13: Prayer and Encouragement for a Brother

The truth was simply too shocking. That's why you never told us about it. But I knew all along; from your eyes, your voice, and the few words you shared, I knew what journey was ahead of you - and understood why you didn't want to say too much. I wouldn't have said any more than you did, and that's why my own journey is known only to a select few. The truth, shocking as it may be, is that we have much more in common than the rest of the world realizes. Where you are, I have been too, and even though our circumstances may differ, our similarities burden me with the desire to pray. The world has made us helpless in their eyes, but our true citizenship is with Christ, through whom we have been washed clean from the most shameful of wrongs. Whatever we have done in the past, it was not beyond the reach of God's sovereign purpose. Somehow, He can be glorified, and we can be blessed. We just have to do our part - a process that involves every moment, even those that seem useless in our eyes. I pray, as a brother who has embarked on a similar journey, that God will grant you mercy as He has to me. I pray for faith like Joseph's to not stray from the knowledge of God's sovereignty but rather to seek Him daily regardless of circumstance. Whether praised or mistreated, whether set free or held captive, strive to give Him glory, finding peace in Him alone. Remember, our true identity is as children of God, and the Truth has already set us free. If He is willing, surely we will meet again someday. And I can't wait for that day to come. I pray that we will not only share our experiences with each other then, but also encourage each other to continue trusting in God to heal our wounds and help us grow in character as men after His own heart. May our journeys lead us to a deeper awareness of His sovereignty and someday be used by Him to bless those around us.

06/09: Feelings of discontent can be used by God to drive us to accomplish great things or fuel us through major turning points in our lives. My discontent with my grades in college helped me to realize that God was calling me to switch my major. My discontent with my tutoring job a few years ago pushed me to seek God's will and ultimately get my current office job. But sometimes, feelings of discontent can come from the devil, feeding us lies that we often eventually come to believe as truth. Recently, I feel like I've been driven in many ways to feel that I'm not good enough for the life that I want to live. I never really asked for excessive luxury, but simply financial stability to provide for my current and future family. Maybe a big part of what's driving my discontent is the realization that so many major milestones in life - marriage, buying a home, having children, etc. - are not exactly as far away in the future as I often think they are. Suddenly, questions about my present life and potential decisions become issues of great urgency. Is my current income enough to support a family? Is my job something I see myself doing several years from now? Do I want to go to graduate school? Should I make any major financial investments? I find myself heavily burdened by the realization that any decision I make right now will almost certainly affect me and those closest to me for the rest of my life.

Thankfully, I recognized that my discontent was not exactly from God, since they were causing me to doubt His faithfulness. So I immediately got on my knees and prayed in Jesus' name for wisdom to stand by the truth and strength to fight against any opposition toward it. Still, just because God is fighting beside me, it doesn't mean things will magically become easy. And that's why I'm also so thankful that I have been able to share my struggles honestly with some brothers and sisters and receive prayer and great encouragement. Especially in a time of my life during which every decision can be so crucial, I pray for wisdom to make decisions by God's guidance and according to His will.

I don't know why, but I'm starting to feel like God is teaching me to dream - to discover the desires deep inside my heart based on His guidance and present them before Him. I admit that sometimes I'm afraid to dream; having seen several friends who have huge dreams and pull many others into those dreams without a clear sign of success, I tend to shy away from such invitations. But don't get me wrong - I deeply admire those friends who dare to dream; even if they don't succeed in the end, at least they tried. And if their ultimate goal is obedience to God, then surely He closed certain doors only to open greater ones. I guess my dilemma is, "what's considered asking too much?" Specifically, where's the line between pure motives and selfish ones? There must be more to my life - both present and future - than what I see right now. But what must I do (or not do) to truly believe it?

Earlier tonight, Tiffany and I enjoyed dinner at a fancy restaurant with live piano music. When I casually told the pianist that Tiffany has a beautiful voice, I had no idea she would invite her up to sing. No less surprised was I when Tiffany actually agreed. After all, just about everyone else in the room was clearly of a different ethnicity, age group, and social class. But as I watched her sing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" every bit as beautifully as I knew she could, I began to see once again the power of music to bridge gaps, touch hearts, and bring people together. That brings me to a question that has been at the forefront of my present discontent - "What about music?"

During the times when I flirted with the idea of jumping to a better-paying job, a grim reality hit me - While I may have a stable office job like most people my age do, ultimately I'm still just a music major, completely lacking what it takes to succeed in the real world. In the end, I am, and probably always will be, living at the mercy of those who are kind enough to support me by offering me opportunities to earn a living. And I absolutely hate that feeling.

But somehow, God has a plan in the midst of all this. Somehow, He's going to make everything work out. I still clearly remember the months in college I spent coming to the full realization that God was calling me to switch my major. God knew my doubts and concerns, and when I presented them to Him, He always answered. I specifically questioned my financial future and prayed for a clear sign. And God offered a sign, so clear and fulfilling yet so different from what I had originally expected (or hoped for). His promise was clear - Even though things will not always go as I expect, He will always take care of me. Always. And I have no reason to doubt that the promise extends to my future family as well. I have always seen that confirmation as a personal promise, but over the years I've come to see that it is, in fact, backed by Scripture. And that gives me even more reason to hold firmly onto it and fight against the temptation to doubt it.

Perhaps it is the musician inside of me that enables me to dream. It is through music that I remember God's faithfulness, and it is through music that I find strength when the world tells me I'm too weak. Music helped bring Tiffany and me together, and even that's the only reason God wanted me to switch my major in college, it would still be worthwhile. But I truly believe that there's more, and I'm at the point where I'm more eager than ever before to find out. Over the years God has opened and closed all kinds of doors in music, and while the fact that I have a full-time job completely unrelated to music may severely limit the amount of time I have to exercise my creativity, it also allows me to serve others wholeheartedly with music and not have to worry about money. Whether or not this is how things will always be, I really don't know. But remembering the musician inside of me also helps me remember that God is still, and always will be, in control. And with so many uncertainties ahead of me, what better way to find peace than to fully rely on Him? As always, I pray that He will continue to let His will be done in my life as I continue striving to seek Him.

05/28: Earlier tonight I got to spend some time at a park by myself, walking around and praying to God aloud. I consider times like this both precious and important, yet I often spend long periods of time without them and fail to realize just how crucial they are amidst the busyness of everyday life. As I walked around the park, I reflected on this past year at BSF. Throughout the book of Genesis, people took time out of their adventurous lives to pray, worship, and build altars. They were all imperfect people, filled with character flaws and histories of making dumb mistakes. But deep inside, they acknowledged God. And they responded to His calling in active obedience, even when the future was uncertain or when great suffering was involved. And God blessed them and chose them, because they chose to give Him glory both in times of abundance and in times of need.

Throughout this past year, I've journaled a lot already about the many specific lessons I learned. And now, the big challenge is to continue applying what I learned in the long run, especially in the summer when there is no "homework" to keep me focused every day. Looking back at the time when I first decided to check out BSF three years ago, I'm truly amazed at how much things have progressed, whether it's my job, my relationship with Tiffany, or my spiritual community. In the times when I was most in need, God was always there, preparing to pour out His blessings once the time was right.

During a recent gathering with several BSF friends, we were surprised to discover that every one of us was part of the leadership team in one way or another, whether it's leading a small group, helping with administrative tasks, setting up and putting away equipment, greeting people at the door, or participating in the musical worship team. Suddenly I began to understand even more just what makes this fellowship so great. It's not just because we have great teaching leaders and group leaders, but also because we all contribute to the good of the group, and in the end share in the great joy of strong community. Even though BSF is not an actual "church", it definitely sets an excellent example of what a healthy Body of Christ should look like.

As always, I want to give special thanks to Steve and Tina who shared their God-given wisdom with us, and to Rico who, despite having such a busy schedule, did a great job of leading and committing to our small group week after week. Every time BSF comes to an end, something always feels a little empty, especially when Tuesday nights roll around. But I really pray that the things we learned and the friendships formed in this past year's study of Genesis will continue to impact us as we strive to live our lives - both good times and bad times - for His glory.

05/26: Another year, another exciting barbecue party. Things were a little different this year, largely because of the earlier date. And despite a slight threat of rain at first, Mother Nature decided to be perfectly cooperative in the end, giving us sunshine that is beautiful but not overbearing, along with a nice breeze that helped fill the air with the scent of our barbecued delicacies. (I smelled it when driving down the street almost 10 houses away). The problem with having this party so early in the year is that it crept up on me a lot sooner than expected. Adding to that the facts that Ken just barely finished his last final on Thursday and we didn't even confirm until that day (due to the uncertain weather) that the party was actually happening, there was very little time to take care of all the preparations.

And by "very little", I mean literally nonstop work beginning on Thursday evening. Ken came over, and after compiling our shopping list, we began our shopping spree immediately, ending just in time before our final destination closed for the night. The shopping continued Friday during my lunch break, and at night Ken and Christine came over for the "prep party", taking care of the majority of the items. Yesterday was dedicated to cleaning and setting up while Tiff, Joan, Steph, and Taryn came early to assist Ken in the final food preparation (and received some Mochilato goodies as a reward). Things were all ready and the grills were fired up just in time for the party to start.

It turned out Ken was surprisingly lucky this year, thanks to Jay and Dewey who took over most of the grilling work. As always, one thing I love most about these barbecue parties is the teamwork. It's really not "Calvin's party" or "Ken's party", because neither of us could have done it on our own. The fact that so many people volunteered to help in different ways not only made our lives much easier, but made the whole experience much more humbling and fulfilling.

To be honest, a big part of me was tempted to reschedule the party, not only because of potential bad weather, but also because I was a little disappointed at how many people couldn't make it due to other activities over the long weekend. But I had to remind myself that it's not about the number of people who show up, but rather the quality of the fellowship. And throughout these past few weeks I prayed that God would take control over whatever happens, whether rain or shine. For those that I wished I would get to catch up with but didn't get to see, I'm sure God will open the door according to His timing. And for those that did make it, I'm truly thankful to be able to enjoy the evening together.

As of now, there's still plenty of cleanup work to do, even after staying up insanely late last night doing as much as I could. But I guess it just goes to show that I'm really the kind of person who enjoys organizing and hosting gatherings for people I love. Yes, over the years there have been times when I was driven by my insecurities and my deseperation for social acceptance rather than my desire to host. But with each barbecue party I come to see more and more just how blessed I am, not only to have a home capable of hosting such gatherings, but also to have so many brothers and sisters that I can celebrate the precious gift of life with. I wish and pray that God will bless the many friendships and relationships that were formed and strengthened last night, continuing to write each of our life stories according to His will.

05/23: Party Time

Memorial Day weekend is just around the corner, and many people consider it the beginning of "barbecue season". That's why, because of my busy schedule in June/July, Ken and I decided to make this year's big BBQ party a little earlier than usual. It's late at night and I'm wide awake right now after a cross-town grocery shopping spree with Ken. He just finished his finals this evening, and after a quick meeting to discuss the menu, we got to work right away, with less than two days to prepare everything.

Yes, for those who don't know, two days is an extremely short time to prepare. Many people wonder why the heck we always need to have a "prep party" on the night before the actual party, but once they try coming to help out, they completely understand. Plus, we really don't want Ken to go insane by giving him more work on Saturday aside from manning the trio of grills all night. This time, we're going to finish the rest of our shopping tomorrow evening just before the prep party and hope and pray that everything will be ready just in time.

I guess I could have done a lot of the preparation earlier, except the crazy thing is that we didn't even confirm that the party is actually happening on Saturday until this evening. It wasn't until after Ken and I agreed on the date (a few weeks ago) that I realized how spoiled I've been by the fact that, for the past gazillion years, our BBQ parties always fell on a bright sunny day. Unfortunately, things aren't nearly as predictable in the spring months, especially given that for this whole past year or so the weather has seemed more or less unusual. And with a party of this scale it would simply be impossible to move everything indoors if it were to rain. Even on my RSVP reminder email a few days ago, I had to give a little disclaimer that the party might be postponed. Since then, I have checked the weather report religiously. Today, the chance of rain has finally been reduced to 0%. So the decision is made, and the party will go as planned. Mother Nature, please do not fail us.

I'm going crazy thinking about all the food prep and cleaning work that needs to be done in the next day and a half. But at the same time, I'm super excited. Those who enjoy hosting/planning gatherings like I do will easily understand this feeling - It's a heck of a lot of work, but there's also a heck of a lot of excitement fueling it. For me, seeing friends from various circles come together to fellowship is always a dream come true. As always, I pray that God's will be done and look forward to another memorable BBQ party.

05/16: Last night Tiffany and I decided to make our dinner date a little more adventurous. Rather than enjoying our usual rice or noodle selections, we treated ourselves to some rattlesnake. Thanks to Priscilla's food blog (which has blessed us with many good recommendations), we found out that Berkeley Dog in Brea serves rattlesnake hot dogs. The place has a typical fast food restaurant feel and doesn't really give the impression that it serves exotic meats. But they had the rattlesnake all right, and we both gave it a try.

It really makes me wonder... how the heck do people come to discover which animals are edible and which ones aren't? Surely a good number of unlucky individuals must have had unfortunate encounters with rattlesnakes that led others to conclude that they are venomous. Then some genius decided that rather than just killing the snake for the sake of safety, he should try putting it in his mouth and enjoying it for dinner.

I really wonder if he survived. After all, even though I'm not a biologist I can imagine how eating the wrong part of a venomous animal can have fatal consequences. But God bless those poor souls, because it is through their bravery that we are able to safely enjoy so many delicacies today.

As for those rattlesnake hot dogs, they actually don't taste all that bad. It's definitely a unique texture, and there is an interesting flavor that goes surprisingly well with the green peppers included with the order. And while it's slightly pricey for a hot dog, it's definitely worth the bragging rights of having eaten a friggin' rattlesnake. If anyone wants to give it a try, let me know and I'll gladly go again.

05/11: Earlier today I watched the new "Great Gatsby" movie with Tiffany. We both found it very enjoyable, and while there's definitely plenty that can be criticized about it, I'll leave that job for the many people who make a living doing it, knowing that I already struggle enough with being too critical at times and would rather embrace my simple-minded idea that as long as I enjoyed the movie, none of the criticism matters. As expected, there were plenty of scenes depicting the lavish lifestyle assocated with the novel - fancy cars, huge houses, and beautiful landscapes that can serve both as a means of hosting epic social gatherings and a means of escaping from the distractions of the world. It's no surprise that the nice cars appeal to my inner car-freak. And while I don't ever expect to make enough money to buy a mansion with a gazillion-acre private garden, it's definitely fun to daydream a little. In all honesty, I'm fully content with the size of my backyard right now and the beautiful sunset view it offers every evening. And if I had to name one main reason I want to have a big house with a big yard, it would be to comfortably host parties and gatherings for people I love - Something I have always loved to do, and something that makes the story of Gatsby one that resonates deep in my heart.

"The Great Gatsby" was the first adult-level novel I actually enjoyed reading. Ever since I outgrew children's books, I became too caught up in academic and cultural pressure to find any pleasure in reading. And being no stranger to academic dishonesty in high school, my first response when assigned a new novel to read was always to download the SparkNotes and come up with a game plan of how to BS my way through it. Looking back now, it's not hard to see why many of those novels were part of the college-prep repertoire, given their great significance both as literary materpieces and important representations of social and political issues. But at the time, none of that meant anything to me.

Gatsby, however, was a different story. It portrayed man's struggles with love, materialism, confronting difficult situations, and finding strength to move forward from the past - struggles that perfectly described my life at the time. I did whatever I could to hide my deep social insecurities, hoping people would see me as someone better than I thought I actually was. I had feelings for a girl who was very close to me in the past but was attracted to someone else in the same social circle. When I had to read Fitzgerald's novel for English class, it was the first time I was so intrigued even by the SparkNotes that I put aside my desire to BS the lesson in favor of actually enjoying the story and learning about it.

Gatsby became my hero, but I was afraid to admit it. Those famous last words about "beat[ing] on, boats against the current, being borne back ceaselessly into the past" struck me with so much meaning that I decided to paste them into my Instant Messenging profile - the first time I ever incorporated a literary quote in my profile and something I never thought I would be nerdy enough to do until then. They didn't stay there for long though; a brother from church who was a year older than me saw those words in my profile and commented that he hated the book, probably for the same reasons I disliked all the other books I had to read for school. My social insecurities immediately got the best of me, and the realization that my seeming profound decision to quote a famous author was not embraced by someone older and wiser crushed me to a point where I not only removed the quote from my profile, but never attempted to use a literary quote there again.

Over the past decade or so, I had more or less forgotten the details of what makes "The Great Gatsby" so incredible. But even though the movie is only a small (and not entirely accurate) glimpse of the original novel, it definitely brings back all the memories of why I felt so attached to the story. Gatsby's life clearly depicted exactly how I once felt - Hopeful in fantasy, helpless in reality, and trapped in a battle against the inevitable. But looking back now, it makes me come to an even deeper appreciation of how much my life has changed since then. Sure, there are things in my past that I may wish to change. But most importantly, I've come to see that God is always in control, and the only reason He closes doors in my life is to direct my attention to other doors that lead to greater things. Who would have thought at the time that I would be enjoying a movie with my girlfriend as part of our 18-month anniversary celebration? God opens and closes doors in His timing because He knows what's best for His children, but it's my choice whether to stare helplessly at a closed door or turn around and look for an open door to walk through. Even though I wish I had enough courage and confidence at the time to leave Fitzgerald's words on my profile, I'm glad to say that those words would no longer be suitable for describing my life now. My past struggles only took place because the sovereign God allowed them to, and He will accomplish great things through them if I continue to trust Him. With that in mind, I can now live in freedom, celebrating the joyous God-given gift of life and looking forward to the journeys ahead.

05/01: As hard as it is to believe, this year's BSF study is coming to an end in less than a month. We had another class fellowship last night, which gave me an opportunity to think about what I've learned from having studied almost the entire book of Genesis. If I have to sum up everything I've learned in one sentence, it would be that God is sovereign over all things, regardless of who's right and who's wrong. Life on earth is full of hardships, and there's nothing we can do to make it problem-free. I can categorize all of my life's hardships into two groups - those which I feel are consequences of something I've done wrong, and those which I feel like I didn't do anything wrong to deserve. The former tempts me into deep guilt, and the latter tempts me to become angry and seek revenge. But while no hardship is easy to face, in the end God is always bigger.

The book of Genesis is proof that the people God chooses to use are a bunch of idiots. And that's a great encouragement, because I can definitely relate to those who have done idiotic things. The sins of God's people in Genesis often involve behavior far beyond what I've been tempted to do, from Simeon and Levi's slaughtering of an entire nation to Judah's affair with his daughter-in-law. But there are also many sins and temptations that I can relate to on a daily basis - Pride, jealousy, impatience, unrighteous anger, and much more. Jacob's sons, who became the tribes of Israel, each had his share of imperfections. Yet God not only did not abandon them, but brought them to Egypt, where they survived the famine and grew to be a great nation.

Then there was Joseph, who, despite being a bit on the boastful side during his childhood, really didn't do anything to deserve the many years of suffering he had to face. Perhaps the way his brothers mistreated him was a punishment for the times he rubbed in their faces the fact that he was their father's favorite. But his imprisonment in Egypt based on the lie told by Potiphar's wife was definitely undeserved, since he had only done what was right both to his master and to God. Yet during his many years of undeserved suffering, God was with him, so much so that Joseph found peace that overshadowed his seemingly justifiable desire for revenge.

I often think of it this way - In any situation, if God doesn't have a way of turning it into something glorifying to Him and good for His children, then He wouldn't have allowed it to happen. If a situation is completely incapable of being turned into anything good, it would be out of God's character to let it happen, since He is sovereign over all things. In every hardship, there must be some good that can come out of it. Will I choose to accept God's intended blessing or complain and let the suffering go to waste?

Speaking of blessing, I find the whole story of Joseph and how God used him to save his family so compelling, because there are so many incredibly great blessings involved. Even though there are plenty of sinful activities and motives present in the story, God's ultimate plan was to bless His people, and His plans never fail. We may not know exactly why God chose Joseph as the one through whom his family would be saved, but one thing we can clearly see from the story is that, even with so much wealth and power at his disposal, he did not seek any selfish gain. I believe that if I were placed second in command to Pharaoh and the entire world depended on me for food during the famine, I would at least pocket a little money for myself or collect a little extra food for my family and friends to enjoy, easily justifying my actions as a small reward for my hard work that won't harm anyone else. Chances are I would also take advantage of opportunities to make life a little more difficult for those who don't make me happy. But perhaps that's why I, along with the other people in Joseph's time, am not qualified with such a great blessing of wealth and power.

God wants to pour out His blessings on all His children, and He does not show favoritism. He blessed Joseph so abundantly because Joseph was able to handle the blessing without turning it into sin. And that's only because he had gone through so much unjust suffering that his confidence rested entirely in God. Even in front of Pharaoh, he wasn't shy about pointing the spotlight to God rather than himself. We often pray for all kinds of success, but how much success are we ready to handle without becoming prideful? And why would God bless someone knowing that the blessing would cause him to turn away from Him, the only source of true contentment? The problem isn't that God doesn't want to bless us, but rather that we're not ready to receive those blessings. What are our attitudes toward hardships, whether it's our fault or someone else's fault? Do we treat them as opportunities to grow in character in preparation for future blessings or do we complain and gain nothing from them? Also, what are our attitudes toward present blessings? Do we seek to give all glory to God who can give and take away all things or do we put ourselves under the spotlight? The thought of God eagerly waiting to pour out His blessings on His children is definitely exciting, and I pray that I will strive to do my part, whether in good times or hard times, so that when the time comes, I too will be ready.