08/22: Almost everyone in this country associates Independence Day with barbecues and fireworks. But when July Fourth came around this year, Tiffany and I decided to do something completely different. So we went to Ten Ren's. Seriously, we're so Asian. We treated ourselves to not only some dinner dishes and the requisite tea (for only $1 extra!), but also some drinks slightly more fitting for the occasion.

For those who don't know what I'm talking about, this is the Ten Ren's in Walnut near the corner of Valley and Lemon. And unlike all the other Ten Ren's / Tea Station locations, this place serves alcohol. That's right, you can top your meals off with a variety of beers, wines, and mixed soju drinks. It's that last one that caught our attention, especially with the special Thursday dinnertime happy hour (yes, even on July 4th) that cuts the price of all alcoholic drinks by half. Tiffany and I just went there again tonight, and were glad to discover that the happy hour deal has now been extended to a few other days as well. Also, they have a unique menu of appetizers and meals (on top of the standard Ten Ren's menu) designed with the beverges in mind. If only all of those items were half price too...

Now about the soju drinks. Taking advantage of the fact that soju can fall under the same category as beer and wine when it comes to licensing, Ten Ren's has created a variety of mixed drinks modeled after other popular drinks. The Soju Sunrise, Muddled Mojito, and Strawberry Teazer were all excellent, especially given how much you get and how little you pay. Recently they added a list of soju-based sangrias, and when we tried one tonight, it definitely didn't disappoint either. Of course, they didn't leave out the good ol' flavored soju carafes, with a selection that ranges from classics like yogurt to a few unique items we hadn't seen anywhere else. We tried the "Love Potion #6", and it quickly became a favorite.

08/11: The truth didn't quite hit me, even as I walked down the aisle with Mom, arms linked together, trying to appear natural in front of dozens of cameras. Then the background music faded, and I found myself at the piano playing a simple tune as the doors opened and the bride began her procession. It's always a great honor to play piano at weddings, and as usual I did my best to stay focused on the music to avoid ruining the ambience for everyone, especially the couple about to exchange their vows. But when the music was done and I returned to my seat, I couldn't help but let tears fall from my eyes when it finally became clear to me that my own sister was about to get married.

Just the previous night, Mom, Carol, and I spent some time praying together. We all cried during that time too, as we realized it would be Carol's last night spent with us before moving to Brandon's apartment. We talked about family, and came to the conclusion that even though we're technically a "broken family", God has blessed us with a love for each other that is very hard to come across nowadays, even in "complete" families. Sure, we're often very busy, sometimes to a point where we spend days without seeing each other because of conflicting schedules. But deep inside, we know that we're a family, and no one can ever replace the roles that we play in each other's lives.

I must admit that I was a bit disappointed when I was first asked to play piano for my own sister's wedding. Yes, it's a great privilege, but I've played at so many weddings before that a part of me wished I could do something a little more special on this big day for our family. A part of me also wished that I didn't have to worry about the music so I could see the emotions in Carol's eyes as she walked down the aisle. But I've come to see that I really shouldn't complain, but should rather feel greatly honored to use my God-given gifts, which my family has played a crucial role in helping nurture over the years, to bless Carol during one of the most memorable moments of her entire life. Being able to provide music for my sister's wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me too, and I'm glad to have been able to provide one more act of service for her before she began her new life together with Brandon.

One thing I know for sure about Carol and Brandon is that their relationship has always revolved around seeking the Lord, whether it's through praying for guidance or through serving in various ministries together. Yes, I'm among the many who feel that they are surprisingly young for getting married. But if it is God's will, then surely it is for His glory, and surely it will be a blessing both to themselves and to those around them.

07/30: Two weeks can seem like forever, or they can seem way too short. In these past two weeks, during which Tiffany was in Indonesia, I've experienced a little of both. Even while driving to the airport on Saturday night to pick her up, I couldn't quite wrap my head around the thousands of thoughts that were flying through my mind. I was, in some ways, sad that this time was coming to an end, but more importantly I was excited to see Tiffany again and be there to welcome her home.

The feeling was much like that during the end of a church retreat. In fact, the more I've thought about it, the more I've come to see these two weeks is as a retreat. And I do so with entirely positive intentions. Many people think of retreats as mini-vacations, spending a few days away from home to have fun with friends and make memories together. But most importantly, it is a chance to experience life outside of our daily routines in order to return with a fresh perspective. All the fun activities simply serve to make it easier for us to say "yes" to an experience we normally consider ourselves too busy for. If it weren't for Tiffany's Indonesia trip, the idea of not seeing each other or talking on the phone for two weeks would have never crossed our minds. However, the fact that her journey was undoubtedly out of obedience to God's calling helped us both to embrace this opportunity to grow in ways we otherwise wouldn't.

Let me make one point very clear. Even when we go on retreats far away from home, our identities are still the same, and our lives are still our lives. We may be physically away from the lives we are used to living, but that does not mean that our lives cease to exist. In the same way, even when Tiffany and I are on opposite ends of the world, our identities in each other's lives do not change, and our relationship does not cease to exist. But by stepping away from our weekly dinner dates and nightly phone conversations while knowing deep inside that our relationship would stand strong, we are able to reunite in the end with even more confidence and strength.

And we knew that our relationship would stand strong because of our trust in God. From the beginning, we knew that it was He who brought us together. And we also knew that Tiffany's trip to Indonesia was the fulfillment of a great dream God placed in her heart to serve there through teaching. With those things in mind, we knew that God would bless us with the strength needed to overcome any hardship that may arise while we were apart from each other. A wise friend who was involved in a long-distance relationship that led to their recent marriage had suggested that we take the time we would normally spend talking to each other during these two weeks and spend it with God, lifting up our relationship in prayer and writing down what God puts in our heart to share with each other after her return.

Sure, two weeks may not be a very long time. But considering how Tiffany and I have never been so far apart or spent so much time away from each other, we knew that it would be a different experience. I entered this time with an open mind; while I didn't know what to expect, I was certain that this time would have a significant impact on our relationship. But I also knew that this impact would come as a result of all kinds of surprises, and prayed for wisdom to face whatever temptation came my way.

It only made sense that, with so much additional free time, I asked myself what I wanted to spend it all on. At first, I considered calling up old friends and meeting up with them to catch up. But in the end, I decided to spend my time attending car shows and serving at church after concluding that I'd much rather meet with my friends when she is with me, especially those that she has not yet met. I had no ulterior motives to begin with and would have gladly told her about every person I conversed with, but why intentionally choose to do something in a timing that may cause her to question? Ultimately, it's really all about trust, and even though Tiffany and I trust each other, there can always be times when that trust is challenged, even when neither of us did anything particularly wrong. These two weeks have served as a precious opportunity to strengthen our trust for one another, which in turn strengthens our relationship.

I had made it clear to Tiffany before she left that I would be praying for her throughout her trip. But that became more of a struggle as the days passed; while I was passionately focused on praying for just about every aspect of her trip in the beginning, after about a week it became much more difficult to maintain the same attitude of genuine concern, especially when she was busy and didn't send as many email updates. Sometimes, I found myself deeply worried upon realizing that she was in a distant country and I had no idea whether or not she was safe. Other times, I had to pray for strength to not lose sight of the importance of our relationship just because she was not by my side. In the end, there was only one thing I could do - trust in God completely, acknowledging each and every one of my struggles and lifting them up to Him, knowing that He is sovereign over all things and only intends to do what's best for His children.

Spending time with God has definitely played a crucial role in these two weeks. My promise to pray for our relationship and write down the things I prayed about, along with the sudden abundance of free time that I wanted to spend wisely, prompted me to devote myself to worship, prayer, and Scripture. The fact that being apart from my girlfriend for two weeks was such a rare occurence stirred in me a deep desire to seize every moment and make the most out of it. Again, I mean that in an entirely good way. In the same way that being on a retreat often makes people more eager to communicate with God, I found myself unusually hungry for intimacy with my Creator. There were even a few occasions when I stared at my Bible and refused to close it until I found words of wisdom regarding our relationship.

And the most beautiful thing is that in the end, the focus wasn't on our relationship at all, but rather on God Himself. By the time Tiffany returned, I had written down several inspirational prayers accompanied by Scripture. But above all the little pieces of wisdom I gained was the unshakable truth that true love comes from God alone, and that the way Tiffany and I love each other should always be a reflection of His love rather than a replacement for it. Our goal shouldn't be just to have a healthy relationship with each other, but rather to have a healthy relationship with God, which in turn will result in wisdom in all our earthly relationships. And I say this with confidence because, throughout these two weeks, I have accomplished several things, spoken many words, and made decisions that simply would not have been possible without the wisdom that comes from an intimate relationship with God.

Like I wrote after the recent retreat with my church, God is not any closer to me just because I'm high up in a mountain. And He's definitely not closer to me just because Tiffany is not by my side. The problem is my own heart and my desire to place people and things in this world above God. I never considered my relationship with Tiffany to be boring, and I had shared with her on the night we first decided to give our "special friendship" a try my belief that the journey of following God should always be an exciting one. But it wasn't until God temporarily separated our paths that I came to realize once again just how exciting and fulfilling our relationship is. Many problems that I was scared to face and decisions I was afraid to make suddenly seem much less daunting at the realization that God holds the pen with which our story is being written. It was He who has brought us this far, and surely He has many more great things in store for us. I have already shared many of these things with Tiffany in the past few days, and I can't wait to tell her more. Our "retreat" is now over, and as we strive to apply all that we learned to our individual lives and to our relationship, I pray that we will seek first and foremost to know our sovereign God and not let anything - even each other - get in the way of our intimacy with Him.

07/25: God, you're friggin' crazy. Seriously. And I mean that in a good way. One of the biggest lessons I've been learning recently is to turn to God for all things. Whether I'm happy or angry, free or busy, stressed or relaxed, there's always a good reason to enjoy a conversation with Him. Tiffany's two-week absence has definitely made me realize how truly precious my relationship with God is. And I'm sure He is teaching her some amazing things right now over in Indonesia too. But I'll let her tell her own story. As for me, I'm not going to go into all the little details, but I mentioned a month or two ago that there are some major decisions I must make in just about every facet of my life. And these past several days have, in many ways, made me get out of the bed in the morning with absolutely no idea how things would turn out by the end of the day. In case anyone hasn't figured yet, I'm a big control freak. On this quest of drawing closer to God and understanding His sovereignty, I often feel like my life is a big roller coaster ride, with all kinds of sharp and unexpected twists and turns. One moment I feel overjoyed, and the next moment I'm overcome by anger or sorrow, then later I find myself at peace once again. And all I could pray was that, when it came to the activities, attitudes, and conversations that could impact any of the major decisions ahead of me, I would respond out of wisdom rather than emotional outburst (be it positive or negative). Recently I've taken some actions and said some words that I'm still quite surprised about. And usually it would be easy to cite all kinds of ulterior motives behind such actions and words. But somehow, I was at peace. And I have to say, there's a huge difference between turning to God for help after having made an extended effort to have a strong relationship with Him and grabbing His leg at the last minute when all else is failing. Sometimes things happened so quickly and suddenly that I had no time to plan a proper response. But that also meant that I had no time to let my own selfish ideas and motives sink in. I made the decision, prayed about it, felt at peace, and went for it even when it felt crazy. And in each case, while things didn't always go as I assumed, the result was an abundance of blessing, both for me and for others involved. I say that God is crazy because there have been so many close calls in which, if I had even for one moment decided to take things into my own hands, my whole life would have been turned around. Yet it was by His prompting that those things happened in the first place, and even when it seemed like I was setting myself up for disaster, He still provided a way out.

Yes, having an intimate relationship with God takes a lot of work, especially in the times when I clearly feel in my flawed mind that other things should take precedence. But it's during times like this that I realize just how precious and crucial this intimacy is. Even though there are still plenty of reasons I feel the need to worry about my future, being close to God lifts all the heavy burdens off my own shoulders, and I find the courage to take bold actions, the strength to resist temptation, and the wisdom to stay rooted in Him regardless of circumstance. The sad truth is that, because of my imperfections, there will probably come times when such a deep intimacy with God is lost. And right now I can say confidently that in those times, no matter where else I turn for contentment, deep inside a part of me will always be longing for closeness with God, and there's nothing else that can satisfy that longing. I pray that these words will always serve as a reminder to myself to seek God first, knowing that all other things lie within His immeasurable sovereignty.

07/21: When Tiffany and I first confessed that we saw each other as more than friends, we both had many concerns to address. One of her biggest concerns was her desire to someday go to Indonesia to teach. It's hard to say exactly why she felt so attached to a foreign place, but we both agreed that if God calls her to go anywhere, then surely He will take care of us and our relationship even when we are far apart. A year and a half later, God has faithfully fulfilled the dream He placed in her heart, opening the doors for her to spend two weeks in Indonesia teaching English both to students and to other teachers. She has already been gone for a week, and I admit it's a very strange feeling to know that she is so far away. Sure, it's only two weeks, and those who have been in long-distance relationships will consider that time very short. But given that Tiffany and I have always been, at the very farthest, just a phone call away, and that there have only been a few weekends that we spent without being able to contact each other, this is definitely a significant time for our relationship.

To be honest, I'm still not quite sure exactly how to feel. In a sense, it's liberating, since I can spend my time however I want without having to be concerned for anyone else. (Admit it, relationships inevitably require sacrifices - It's just that those sacrifices are gladly considered worthwhile). But at the same time, it also requires great discipline. Tiffany and I both believe that one of the most important things in a relationship is trust, and it's during times like this that we can truly develop our trust for one another. I want to neither turn this time into a two-week-long bachelor party nor do anything that needs to be kept hidden from her, because I want her have no doubt that I am faithful to her and cherish our relationship, especially during a time when it's easy for doubts to arise. And that's because God is always faithful and cherishes His relationship with His children.

I'm starting to see more and more that my relationship with Tiffany should be a reflection of God's relationship with us. Whenever we lose sight of God's love and begin focusing on ourselves, we begin finding it difficult to resolve conflicts and genuinely care for each other. That's why, during this past week, we've responded to our desire for one another by turning to God, lifting each other as well as our relationship up in prayer. One evening as I was praying for Tiffany while watching the sunset, I came to the realization that the sun setting before my eyes is the same sun rising in Indonesia. In fact, there is rarely (if ever) a moment in which neither of us can see the light. God is as faithful as the rising and setting sun, and even though we are in opposite ends of the world, we are still within the reach of His sovereignty. We know that it was He who brought us together, and we know that it was He who sent her on this overseas mission. With that in mind, we can be confident that in the end, these two weeks will only make us grow stronger.

07/14: God created every individual with the ability to worship Him, but that worship is often expressed in very different ways based on the abilities and personalities He has chosen for us. Our gifts are intended to be used to bless others, especially our own family of believers. In every aspect of our lives, we can give praise to God through our attitudes. I often pray that I can go to work without forgetting that it was God who blessed me with my job. I've also learned to appreciate God's artistry in everything from the intricate details of a flower petal to the infinite stars in the sky. Even in man-made objects like cars or buildings, I've learned to see God's workmanship in creating humans with the ability to create such things. Praise and worship is definitely a lifestyle, and can be manifested in a variety of ways. But there is one means of worship, which has deeply impacted my life and my relationship with God, that I have always considered closest to my heart - Music.

I often stress the importance of giving young musicians opportunities to serve in church settings to develop their abilities, because it was through many great leaders who offered me such opportunities over the years that I've come to fall in love with playing piano and keyboard in musical worship teams. My years at GCCI have blessed me with countless chances to play for the English ministry, the Chinese ministry, as well as all kinds of special events from concerts to weddings. In most social circles, there's a particular "go-to" person when a particular need arises. And it's fair to say that through many years of experience, I had, by the grace of God, received that reputation for playing piano at GCCI.

I say so with no intent to brag; if I were to desire such bragging rights, then I would never have left GCCI. But I knew that, while music was an excellent means of praising God, it could also easily become a distraction. And I confess that there have been times when, due to my own social insecurities, I used music, both at church and in other Christian groups, as a means of making people recognize me. Yes, even so God could (and did) use the music to bless others. But in the end, when I "worshipped" for the wrong reasons, I was the one missing out on the blessing. At the time I decided to leave GCCI, I didn't care about my reputation and my musical abilities at all. What I needed was a solid community that encouraged growth in my relationship with God, and after much prayer, I concluded that my only option was to leave, and that God Himself would fill whatever voids I left behind.

It's safe to say that my late college years and the few years that followed were the peak of my musical growth; I studied composition as my major, played regularly at church and small group events, and had several opportunities to travel to other states and countries for concerts. When I got my current job (which I still consider a great blessing), I left behind the former lifestyle which gave me abundant time to make music and the freedom to travel whenever opportunities came. And after I left GCCI, I ceased indefinitely to serve regularly in music ministry for the first time since childhood. Aside from a few concerts and projects, along with an opportunity to play piano at BSF every month or so, my public life as a musician basically came to a halt.

But music plays a role in my personal life that nothing can ever replace. Even though we're supposed to have an attitude of worship in all circumstances, it is when we praise Him with what He has made us most passionate for that we feel truly alive deep inside, whether by ourselves or in a group. And music has always been one of my favorite ways of expressing myself to God. That's why, when I was at GCCI, I would often hide in a classroom when no one was around and make music. That's also why, during retreats, I would often spend some of my free time at a piano. There have been times when I prayed the same verbal prayer to God so many times that I found it impossible to do so again without it being merely a recitation of the same old words, and during those times, I would go to the piano and improvise. And it was as if I were speaking in tongues; I couldn't fully comprehend what I was saying, but deep inside I was at peace, knowing that God completely understood the cries of my heart.

I didn't realize just how much I had given up upon leaving GCCI until it began to hit me that so many years of passionate musical service had suddenly come to a halt. I'm very thankful for the opportunities that came up over the past couple years for me to serve God and others through music, especially for the chance to play about once a month at BSF. But even though BSF displays many of the fruits of an ideal healthy church, in the end it is not a replacement for an actual church home. It finally became clear what I was deeply craving - To use music, just as I had in the past, to serve the very people I consider my closest spiritual family - my home church.

Ever since I committed myself to FECSGV a over a year ago, the idea of one day joining the musical worship team never left my mind. But with the awareness of past instances in which music became a cover for my insecurities rather than a pure act of service, I was very careful not to make the same mistake. The reason I needed to find a new church home wasn't to show off or expand my network of friends, but rather to find a healthy spiritual community with whom I can grow. And the eight weeks I spent visiting various churches before making my commitment to FECSGV left me even more certain that fellowship and community should be far higher priorities than music. I often share with people in various Christian circles about my belief against letting new members of a congregation play a role that involves frequent appearances on stage in order to avoid the same mistakes I made and protect the unity of those serving together. And I considered myself no exception.

During last summer's Connections retreat, I was worshipping God through playing piano during free time when the pastor happened to notice and complimented me. I had no intention of playing for anyone other than God, but I believed that perhaps it was God's will for the pastor to know about the God-given ability that I had kept almost entirely hidden from our congregation. A few months later, I was blessed with the opportunity to accompany Tiffany in performing a song for our Christmas service. That was my first time setting foot on stage in front of Connections (our English-speaking adult congregation), and I knew that it was enough; I had already made my most passionate form of service clearly known, and if my role as a keyboardist on the praise team would be of benefit, then surely the leadership would approach me about it. God had placed deep in my heart the belief that those who truly have a pure desire to serve the church can always find ways to do so without stepping on stage, and I did my best to serve in various ways without earning an official title or drawing attention to myself while trusting in God's timing regarding the role of music in my ministry.

Just a few weeks ago, Tiffany graciously planned a birthday dinner party for me and invited several friends, including a few church friends who play leadership roles. On the morning before the party, I was imagining what the celebration would be like when my mind was consumed by the thought of just how long it had been since I was able to worship God through playing keyboard in front of the people I consider my closest spiritual family. From the time I left GCCI, I had considered the ideal time before a new church member should serve regularly on stage to be somewhere between half a year to a whole year. And I had been committed to FECSGV for just over a year. I concluded at that point that the best birthday gift I could possibly receive would be an invitation to join the Connections worship team.

It was an exciting idea, but I pushed it aside knowing that it was highly unlikely. I never told anyone about it, and I'm very thankful I didn't, because that's how I knew in the end that it was truly God working all along. The morning right after my birthday party, Tiffany told me after Sunday service that the music ministry coordinator wanted to talk to me. Just earlier that morning, she had mentioned to her about my possible desire to serve on the team, even though she did not know the things that had been on my mind. And had I not prayed and thought about it ahead of time, I would not have had the wisdom to say yes. I found myself in tears later that night as I told Tiffany everything that happened, and how God had used her to turn what I had assumed was merely wishful thinking into confidence that I'm on the right path and encouragement to continue trusting in Him.

This morning was my first time serving on the Connections worship team during Sunday service, and my prayers in the past few weeks, including those at our retreat, had made me more excited than ever before to embrace this opportunity. Every moment of it seemed surreal, and during several songs I found myself in tears upon realizing just how precious of a gift it is to praise Him through music. Yes, serving my spiritual family consists of much more than just playing piano, and the fact that I have an official position of service does not excuse me from addressing other areas of need. But what great joy it brings to my heart to serve my family with what God has given me the greatest passion for!

Throughout the time since I left GCCI, I have been able to reflect on the role of music in my life's ministry, including the mistakes I've made and the lessons I've learned. And while making music to impress people can be exciting, I've come to see that there is a much greater joy that comes from making music as an act of service. I had no one to impress this morning, because I know that this family already accepts me the way I am, with or without any talents. (And I find it a little funny how this just happens to be the Sunday when Tiffany was on her way to Indonesia, as if God knew that I may be tempted to focus instead on her for just a moment.) I can say confidently that I'd rather be stripped of the opportunity to play on the worship team than to let my presence on stage interfere with my personal role in the Connections family. And I believe that because it was God who opened these doors for me, surely they will only lead to opportunities to grow stronger in this community.

Today marks the beginning of a new chapter of my life, one that will play a crucial role in my ministry at FECSGV for as long as God calls me to remain faithful to the church. I pray that the same attitude of excitement and eagerness to worship God that I had this morning will continue to characterize my role in this ministry, even during those inevitable periods of disappointment or frustration. And I pray that the wisdom I have gained from my past experiences will be used by God to bless this family and raise up future leaders according to His timing. Most importantly, I pray for a humble heart, remembering how much of a blessing it is to praise Him through music and using this gift as an act of service to Him and to the community.

07/12: Oh, the joy of living in a "free country". Each year when summer rolls around, there are plenty of opportunities to enjoy food and drinks without paying a single penny. Some are special one-time promotions, while others are annual events. And while there are many that I have yet to discover, I definitely enjoy taking advantage of the ones I've already found out about.

In early June, I stumbled upon "National Doughnut Day" and ended up spending my lunch break picking up a free doughnut at Krispy Kreme. Fast forward to yesterday, probably one of the most well-known giveaway days - Free Slurpee Day! In past years, my only complaint about the free Slurpees was the puny 7.11 oz cups - a cute little marketing gimmick that comes off as more of a disappointment. Not that I can really complain anyway, since I'm not paying for it after all. But this year, 7-Eleven decided to introduce a nice little surprise to its annual tradition.

07/08: Almost everyone was asleep already, and just as I was about to step inside my room, I decided to turn away and head toward the large open area in front of the cabin. Throughout the past day and a half, I had enjoyed romantic walks with Tiffany, solitary strolls along the creek, memorable mealtime conversations, exciting games, beautiful songs of praise in the chapel, valuable lessons about God's Word, and much more. But too quickly it was already the final night, and the silent beauty of the undisturbed forest begged me to surrender to its creator, leaving behind my desire to sleep. The only distraction left on my mind was the need to make sure nobody locked me out of my cabin, since we were given a whopping two keys for the entire men's cabin and neither was in my possession.

A shooting star dashed across the sky - an experience that I always find beautifully humbling. Throughout my time at Idyllwild Pines, I took countless photographs - trees, rabbits, and my brothers and sisters enjoying the many activities the retreat had to offer. But as I gazed at the sky and its countless stars, I knew that what I was looking at was simply impossible to fully capture on my camera. There was only one thing I could do - seize every moment while it lasted and ingrain it in my memory.

I first stood on top of a rock, then on a bench. Then I ascended to a tabletop, my eyes still fixed on the stars shining above the treetop silhouettes. I knew that standing higher wouldn't actually bring me closer to God, but I wanted to do whatever it took to feel even just one step closer. I thought about my life, how far God has brought me since last summer's Connections retreat, and about the many things in the near future that often occupy my mind - milestones to reach, decisions to make, problems to fix, opportunities to seize, and relationships to embrace. Then I laid them before God one by one, in a way I was somehow unable to before. Back at home in my "normal" daily life, I often let those things weigh me down. But this time, I stood on top of them, my strength renewed by the peace of knowing that God is indeed sovereign. Then I sang a few love songs softly to the Lord. It came so naturally, prompted by His glorious presence. Even if the rest of the retreat was a complete failure, that moment alone made it all worthwhile.

Of course, the retreat wasn't anywhere near a failure. The theme of this retreat was "Trusting in God's Sovereignty", one that, whether coincidentally or not, ties in closely with much of what I have been learning in these past months and years. Some of the passages Pastor David and Pastor Ken spoke about coincided with this past year's BSF study of Genesis. We learned about persevering in hard times, forgiving one another, and remembering that life on earth is not our ultimate home. Yes, most of us could probably say that we already knew all those things. But if so, and if we truly believe that God is sovereign, then why is it still so difficult to surrender to Him?

That's why we need each other. The need for community is what drew me to FECSGV in the first place, and it is through times like this that I really realize I've made the right choice. Almost every session at the retreat ended with time to get in small groups, share what we learned, and pray for each other. The issues I prayed with people about range from academics to marriage, from health to business, from dealing with the past to facing the future. And the craziest thing is that there wasn't a single need I couldn't relate to. While we may represent different age groups and life stages, ultimately our struggles are the same - trusting in God's sovereignty regardless of our present circumstances and turning to Him for wisdom and guidance. And I'm so thankful to be part of a community that accepts me the way I am, growing together and encouraging each other through prayer and precious reminders of God's goodness.

As I stood on the tabletop enjoying God's presence as time flew by, I began to wonder why, when I'm at home, I'm not nearly this eager to spend time with Him. Sure, my backyard can't compare with the beautiful forest view of the stars. But isn't God the same, no matter where I am? What if every night would fill me with such a strong desire to treasure each moment with Him? Sometimes it's easy to naturally "blame" God for being distant, basing my relationship with Him on how near or how far He seems. But in reality, God is always present, and it's my own choice whether to make the effort to believe it or not.

As for the church, what if we strive to meet regularly, share about our walks with God and our individual needs, and pray for each other? What if we spend half an hour reading devotionals before showing up at church every Sunday morning? What if, each time we gathered, we so eagerly and effortfully strive to strengthen our relationships with each other and the church as a whole? And what if the resulting strength of our relationships can be reflected in the way we come before God to sing praises? The fact that we did all these things during the retreat proves that they are definitely not impossible. But they won't be easy, and we must rely on God for strength to fight against sinking back into the mediocrity of our "regular" lives.

God is truly sovereign, and if we choose to truly believe it and live accordingly, our lives, our church, and our community will never be the same. I thank God for this precious opportunity to leave behind the ordinary and experience the extraordinary, even if only for a few days. And I pray that we, both as individuals and as a family, will strive to embrace our identities as citizens of heaven and children of God, encouraging each other to let our faith penetrate our world.

07/02: Thanks everyone for an amazing series of birthday celebrations. Whether it's going out to eat, opening a present, or simply reading an email or answering a phone call, I really can't ask for anything better than what I already have. It's truly a blessing to know that I'm surrounded by so many people who not only care for me, but make an effort to show that they do.