10/20: I've participated in many exercises in which I was asked to reflect on my life in spans of five or ten years, considering how I have changed since five or ten years ago, along with how I expect my life to be five or ten years from now. As I get older, I see more and more that these seemingly large chunks of time can pass by much more quickly than I expect them to. I still remember sitting in my dorm room at UCLA reflecting on the tenth anniversary of Dad's passing. Year after year as mid-October came around, I would seize the opportunity to consider how the absense of a father figure has affected me and continues to do so in both positive and negative ways. About a week ago, I was shocked when Mom mentioned that this year marks the 20th anniversary of that life-changing event. Time has definitely flown by, and while my struggles as a victim of fatherlessness will continue, I have definitely come to see more and more of God's sovereignty through His many blessings and provisions.

These past five years alone are more than enough to show that God has not neglected me. It's always tempting to blame my past for my present struggles, and I have blamed Dad's passing many times for causing me to be inadequate when it comes to establishing a career, making friends, pursuing relationships, and finding confidence in my identity. But when I prayed in a time of occupational instability for a stable office job, God blessed me with one immediately. When I hungered for brothers and sisters to help me grow in faith, God led me to BSF and FECSGV, both of which continue to bless me with communities of healthy friendships. Through my relationship with Tiffany, I learned to overcome my fears and weaknesses in ways I never thought were possible. And as a group leader at BSF I see more and more clearly that despite my own insecurities, I can be fully confident that God gives me strength to accomplish His purposes through me.

I have shared with many people about how Dad's testimony has played a crucial role in my family's salvation and my own faith in God. I have no doubt that Dad is now in heaven enjoying God's perfect presence, and that one day I will be there with him. Sometimes I can't help but wonder how he feels about each aspect of my life. The knowledge of his eternal life encourages and inspires me to continue trusting in God and get back up on my feet each time I fall.

A year from now, Tiffany and I will be married and living independently. Five to ten years from now, we will probably have much greater responsibilities including raising children, taking care of our parents, and hopefully owning property. It's still tempting to blame Dad, or even God, for not making me better than I am now. Tiffany and I are both aware that when it comes to issues like taking care of things around the house, making financial decisions, and even managing our own emotions, we will certainly face many challenges and disagreements, which may cause me to doubt my identity as a child of God under His provision. But during those times, I must consider the many ways in which He has already provided for me despite the absense of an earthly father figure and know that He is forever faithful and unchanging.

I know that I shouldn't spend my whole life trying to imitate the Dad that I only knew as a child. But I can't help but wonder how he would have lived if God had decided to heal him of his cancer. My wish and prayer is that as I prepare for and enter into marriage, I will love Tiffany, Mom, and my future family in the same way that Dad would have if he were still here after giving his life to Christ. Most importantly, I must follow Dad's example in what is probably one of the most challenging and most rewarding choices in life - to trust in God regardless of circumstances. Dad's times of greatest struggle with cancer were also his times of greatest joy, and he confidently advised everyone that no matter how God decides to answer our prayers for his physical healing, we must believe in Him and trust in Him. In the end, God didn't give him victory over cancer, but gave him an even greater victory - victory over death through faith.

God was sovereign over Dad even when his body gave in to cancer, and He was sovereign over our relatives in Taiwan who became believers through following his example. He was sovereign over Mom and Carol over the years as they grew in faith and humbly served others, and He was sovereign over me as I spent over two-thirds of my life without a father figure. I must believe, no matter how difficult it may be at times, that God is still sovereign over my life today, as well as five, ten, and many years from now. He is my Father in Heaven, who is forever faithful and unchanging, and He will guide me through every challenge in the road of life as I continue to seek and trust Him.

10/10: I still find it a little hard to believe that Tiffany and I have already been engaged for over two months. In many ways, life still feels more or less the same - I'm still going to work every day and attending church and BSF. Tiffany and I still enjoy date nights every week and hangouts on weekends. When time permits, a little car show here and there adds some more spice to my life. But in many ways, things are also very different.

There's something about being engaged that makes me feel more, um, grown up. It's not like I've magically become a better person just because I put a ring on Tiffany's finger. But even as I perform my everyday tasks, the knowledge deep inside that I'm committed to marriage instills in me a greater sense of responsibility. Even while dating, I often thought of marriage as a stage of life reserved for those who are more capable, more wise, and more mature. But suddenly I've come to identify with those who are in that stage and embrace marriage as a tangible goal.

Being engaged has naturally given my life a deeper sense of meaning and purpose, complete with both great challenges and great excitement. I was never in a particularly big rush to date, propose, or marry. But when God brings the right person into my life according to His timing, I can be confident that He will guide me through each step of the way as I learn to trust Him more and more. And with that in mind, I take great joy in getting ready for the next big stage of my life.

Of course, there's also the process of actually planning for the big day. The date isn't set in stone yet, but it will most likely be around mid-July of next year. Several people have told Tiffany and I that wedding planning is essentially preparation for marriage, and now we both see just how true that is. As a dating couple, we were still free to make most decisions individually. The things we really had to agree on (aside from our relationship goals) were rarely more serious than picking which restaurant to enjoy dinner at. But when it came time to start looking for wedding ceremony and reception venues, it quickly became clear to both of us that teamwork was not only required, but also very challenging.

Looking back now, I've come to see that even when I planned the details of the proposal and party a couple months ago, I ultimately still had the last say in everything. Even though I gladly took into account other people's ideas and kept Tiffany in mind the whole time, I was still the one making the final calls. But when it comes to wedding planning, it's not just about making the best decisions, but also about working together with Tiffany each step of the way. We've both run too fast, walked too slow, and stepped on each other's toes many times. But with each mistake we come to understand more of how important it is to genuinely consider each other's positions, feelings, and ideas rather than try to manipulate each other to reach a predetermined conclusion. Even if I'm absolutely certain that my idea is the best, it doesn't give me the right to disregard her feedback. It's definitely a struggle, but we're both definitely growing.

To be honest, the challenges that Tiffany and I have faced since engagement often leave me intimidated at the thought of what actual married life will be like. After all, what we experience now must only be the beginning. But I know that in the same way our challenges will multiply, the great joy and excitement of married life will also multiply as we face each challenge together. We are thankful, as we have been since the beginning, that God brought us together and guides us through all the ups and downs of our relationship, helping us grow stronger and closer, and as we prepare for the next big step, we continue trusting that He will be faithful as we continue seeking Him together.

10/05: Evolution of a Dream

Several years ago in GCCI's weekly small group, everyone was asked to make and present a "Dream Book" in which we described our ideal future career paths based on things God made us most passionate for. For me, it was music. I had already completed college at the time and knew that God had called me to major in composition and given me a gift in music. But as for how to put that gift to use in the real world, I had no idea where to begin. My Dream Book was broken down into three main divisions - teaching, live performances, and studio work (arranging and recording). And other than a few feeble attempts at turning those dreams into reality, all of which didn't leave me with any more confidence than I began with, I pressed on with other areas of my life, treating music as simply a hobby.

Over the years, my love and passion for music has not changed. But the dream has definitely evolved. I've learned the difference between following my heart and guarding my heart. I've grown in my weaknesses and discovered more of my God-given personality and how to use it to make wiser decisions. I've seen more of the blessings, as well as the challenges, of seeking God first in my life. I've worked at an 8-5 office job, committed to a new home church, and asked my girlfriend of almost three years to marry me. And all of these things have contributed greatly to my journey of discovering my place in the incredibly large world of music.

To be honest, I only listed teaching as a big part of my "dream" because everybody told me it was the only way to put food on the table as a musician, though at the time I was fully convinced that it was something I really wanted to do. Having been a tutor for many years, I can see that working with children is not something I'm gifted in. And when it comes to teaching classical piano, I can confidently say that there are countless people who not only have far better technique, but also have a far greater passion and ability to teach. At one point, I did teach keyboard improvisation, something I enjoy doing and also see a very large market for, and even drafted a curriculum with the intent of teaching those who have a classical piano background but want to play freely without being confined to sheet music. My attempt ultimately failed, but not to a point where I see no use in trying again. And if God wants to open that door in the future, I will gladly walk through it, taking joy in sharing what He has given me with others.

As for performing, I won't deny that the thrill of bright colorful lights and enthusiastic audiences and the joy of bonding with other musicians on stage while making music together are absolutely blissful. It's also very exciting to get to travel to different places across the world. But over the past several years, I've slowly discovered that while I would love to ornament my life with occasional opportunities to perform or travel, it's simply not something I would enjoy doing on a regular basis.

It's not hard for anyone who has met Tiffany and I to see that we are very different, and through our relationship some of our individual character and personality traits have been made even more clear. One example we often use is our roles in hosting parties; I take more joy in planning, setting up, and working behind the scenes to make sure things go smoothly while she takes more joy in socializing and mingling with the guests. The preparation I do before any event is usually far more than what most people will fully understand, but still I take great joy in the process, knowing that I can find contentment in having done my best. I also enjoy socializing, but given that I'm a heavy introvert, too much time in the spotlight leaves me exhausted. In the same way, life as a performing musician would leave me more drained than excited in the long run.

I've come to see more and more clearly that while I consider myself a musician, I really don't fit into any of the images that first come to most people's minds when they think of musicians. I don't rock out on stage with long hair and a fancy electric guitar. I'm not familiar with a lot of music (both classical and modern) that most people know. I don't have that seemingly magical personality that seems to make musicians automatically bond from the moment they meet. There have been countless times when people found out that I'm a musician and told me things like "teach my son piano", "write a worship song", or "come to this event and meet other musicians". I appreciate their offers, but in the end I usually felt more stereotyped than helped.

Yes, it's important to see my weaknesses as opportunities to grow rather than assume that I'm unable to change. But it's also important to acknowledge that my personality, shaped by genetics, culture, past experiences, and all kinds of other things, is essentially a gift from God with a purpose. I may not be the kind of musician most people assume I am. But that doesn't mean I'm not a musician at all. I believe that, with a little fine-tuning, I have the skill needed to be successful in the music industry. I also believe that while my personality may have closed many doors for me in the past, it is God's way of teaching me to trust Him, helping me remain humble, and pointing me to the direction where the potential in my gift can be maximized in His timing.

With all these things in mind, what is my current dream when it comes to music? The Dream Book had served as an opportunity to think deeply about my God-given passions, which are too often overshadowed by the worries of the world, and cast a vision of the future around them. Several years have passed, and it's time for me to dream again.

There's no question that when it comes to music, I find the greatest joy in being creative, whether it's making a new version of an existing song or creating a new piece from scratch. I have occasionally won competitions in piano performance, but it was in composition that I received my most treasured accolades, and it was in composition that I pursued further education in college. As a hobby, I have been rearranging existing songs and creating original tracks on my computer since my high school years. Even though creating music is often a very time-consuming process, I gladly wake up early in the morning, stay up late at night, and invest plenty of time and energy to do so, even if I'm the only one that ever gets to hear the finished product.

It's a little strange, then, to realize that my original Dream Book made little mention of creating original compositions. I guess it makes sense that, unless I have established a name for myself in the music industry, I will have a lot more opportunities to be heard by contributing to other people's music rather than making my own. And over the years, God has definitely opened doors for me arrange music of various genres, assuring me that this is something I should continue to pursue. I know that no matter what path I end up taking as a musician, creativity will definitely play a key role in what I do.

In the future, I would love to have a professional studio setup with which to run a business as a composer/arranger, whether at home or in an office. My current home setup is sufficient for my needs while still giving me plenty of room to grow. But I know that some equipment/software upgrades can take the quality of my work to a whole new level, and because of the high costs, the upgrades will only be justifiable if I can generate healthy income from them. I understand that every job will have its ups and downs, and that there will be days when I wish I were doing something else. But having worked in a wide variety of environments, from teaching kids math to moving boxes in a warehouse to staring at a computer all day long, I'm more certain than ever before that none of those things will bring me more heartfelt satisfaction than creating music, even if the process is a stressful one.

So why did I not reach this conclusion earlier? After all, post-college and pre-marriage years tend to be the most ideal time to explore career options. To be honest, I have trouble accepting the fact that I've already lost several years that could have been spent establishing a music career. But I believe that God knows when an open door can be harmful and when the same door can be beneficial, and out of love He will leave it closed until the best time to open it. My interactions with some fellow musicians in college left me certain that at the time I was not ready to jump into such a corrupt industry. Also, as much as I hate to admit it, a huge part of what motivated me musically was the opportunity to make myself attractive to others (something most single guys would probably do subconsciously even when not seeking a relationship). I managed to convince myself that I was making music simply because I loved doing so, but whenever I performed at a show and didn't get recognition from others, I felt empty.

Perhaps all this time, God has been protecting me from losing sight of Him in a secular industry or turning music into a means of self-glorification. In these past several years, I have not only gained experience in the working world, but also grown more secure in my identity as a man in Christ's image. I'm nowhere near perfect, but I have searched my heart and found no motive for wanting to pursue a career in music now other than to exercise the gifts that God has given me and do what He has made me most passionate for. God's timing transcends ours, and there are many examples in the Bible of how He calls people to do great things despite their old age. The world may tell me that I'm a few years behind, but if this is God's timing, then it is definitely not too late.

If money were not an issue and I had to choose only one aspect of music to make a living with, it would be composing and arranging pieces for orchestra. I was not exposed to the art of orchestration until my late high school years and did not complete any orchestral pieces until college. But there's no question that when I wrote and scored two orchestral works in college, it was the most deeply passionate and rewarding musical experience I'd ever had. I often tell people that, at any given moment I'm awake, there's almost always some sort of soundtrack playing in my head, whether it's a piano melody, a groovy hip-hop beat, or a cinematic orchestra piece. Sometimes it's an existing song stuck in my head, and other times I just make stuff up. Just like in a movie, having a soundtrack in the background seems to enhance just about everything I do, even if it only sounds good in my head. I often imagined how incredible it would be to make the soundtracks in my head come to life for the world to hear. And when I discovered my interest in orchestration, I realized that such incredible joy was not unattainable. Composing for an orchestra is a humbling experience, requiring me to wrap my head around something so much bigger than I'm able to completely grasp. To think creatively about music that engages several dozen individuals and orchestrate what each musician should play at any given time requires complete physical and emotional dedication, and as a result the music is essentially a reflection of my life at the time. And despite all the hard work, the joy of hearing such a creation come to life for the first time is simply indescribable.

I will dare to take this dream even further. One day, I would like to stand on stage conducting my original compositions. In college when I took a conducting class, I thought it was something I would never enjoy doing. And I'm very sad to say that even when given the opportunity to conduct at my senior recital, I gave it up in favor of having a more experienced conductor stand on stage. Yes, conducting will definitely require me to break out of my comfort zone, develop technique, and learn to lead the musicians, communicate with them, and earn their respect. But the thought of being able to use my hands and body language to produce glorious music that involves so many musicians working as a team without having to say a word is so captivating that I'm willing to take on great challenges to turn it into reality.

To sum everything up, my dream now is to become a full-time arranger and composer. I want to create music behind the scenes while having the confidence to stand publicly to present it when called to do so. Most people will probably simply hear my music and say "that sounds pretty", without understanding how much work was put into creating that "prettiness". But it doesn't matter; just like when hosting parties, I want to take joy not in being praised or understood, but rather in knowing that I have poured out my heart and done my best. That's the kind of musician that I truly want to be.

So how will all this play out practically? I want to take on more arrangement projects and expand my network beyond friends and relatives in the business. As for composition, the film scoring business seems quite appealing, and people have always told me my compositions have a cinematic sound. Even though I don't really follow movies, I'm a huge fan of beautiful soundtracks and how they work in conjunction with different scenes. My strengths in the industry include an education in composition/orchestration, experience with a very diverse spectrum of musical styles, and a strong ear that guides my creative processes. As for my weaknesses, namely my seemingly unsuitable personality, I believe that if it is God's will for me to pursue a career in music, then He will empower me in His timing as I follow Him.

One thing that has always worried me about a career in music is that being forced to produce music as a job might take away my love and passion for it. Every one of my past jobs has served as an answered prayer, a unique learning and growing experience, and a guide pointing me in the next direction to take. My current office job began as an answered prayer that left me overjoyed to the point of tears. Throughout the years, I've gained very precious knowledge and experience not only in the shipping industry, but also in conducting business and interacting under professional relationships. And over the past several months, it has been increasingly clear to me that I should pursue a future in the field in which I am both gifted and called and can find joy and accomplishment in what I do despite the inevitable difficulties that any career will bring. While I frequently have opportunities to play the role of a musician by participating in church praise teams or playing at friends' weddings, I've been increasingly burdened by the realization that the precious gifts God has given me in composition, arranging, and orchestration have rarely been exercised since I finished college, and it is that burden that prompts me to pursue a path that allows them to reach their full potential.

I have several prayers regarding the fulfillment of this dream. May God help me to treat each day as an opportunity to prepare myself, giving me wisdom in compiling a portfolio and continuing to develop musical skills even if only as a hobby for now. May He teach me to be sensitive to His leading and willing to take challenges and risks when called to do so, even if it requires breaking out of my comfort zone. May He guide me in my areas of weakness, helping me find and build connections in the music industry and giving me courage to present myself genuinely according to His perfect timing.

In closing, I understand that in the same way my musical dream has evolved and matured over the past several years, it will continue to do so for the rest of my life as I seek and obey God's direction. Even when I find myself securely planted in the music industry, there will still be changes and challenges that I must learn to embrace. Most importantly, I believe, as I always have, that music in my life is a gift from God to be used for His glory, whether as a blessing in the Christian world or as a light in the secular world. He is the same God that prompted me to study music in college and promised to provide for me as I obey Him, showing me clear signs to lessen my doubt and teach me to trust Him. I believe His promises are still the same today, and even more so now that He has placed me on the path of leading a marriage and starting a family. With that in mind, I pray that He may open doors for me to step into a career in music, using the gifts He has given me to reach and bless the world as I continue to trust and obey Him.

09/17: When I left GCCI, I knew that as time passed I would come to see more and more things that I miss about it. After all, it was the church I had attended and served at for almost two decades before being prompted to move forward. I have no doubt that, by God's sovereign grace, my departure was a blessing both for the church and for me. But recently I've been having an increasing craving for an experience that brings me back to the final years I spent there - gatherings for musical worship that are casual but organized, simple but musically beautiful, glorifying to God and creating unity among the worshippers, stirring up a refreshing desire to sing praises endlessly.

Of course, music isn't the only way for us to connect with God. But it's definitely a way to touch our emotions and, when done with a right heart, usher in His presence. There are a couple reasons that I find myself with such a strong craving for the experience mentioned above. First, most of the time when I get to engage in corporate musical worship, I'm playing some sort of leadership role. And second, during the times when I'm not, I'm often left wanting more in terms of organization, skill, and other things that can help enhance the worship experience.

Allow me to clarify a few things first. I'm not saying that worship is centered around me or must consist of high-quality music. I'm not saying that those who are not skilled in music are incapable of leading others in musical worship. I'm also not saying that those who are serving in musical worship teams cannot engage in true worship with the rest of the congregation. And I'm definitely not saying that the people I serve in music ministries with are unskilled. In fact, when I attend worship gatherings with renowned musicians, I tend to focus more on their fame and skill rather than on God's presence. But even in the realm of us "ordinary" worship musicians, there's a huge difference between a well-prepared and Spirit-led set of songs and a set handicapped by logistical mishaps or lack of planning. As a musician, I can't help but make a clear distinction between a group of friends gathered to jam spontaneously and learn simple praise songs and a team of musicians leading people in an organized (but Spirit-led) praise session. Yes, both can be genuine forms of worship to God, and both can be fun in their own ways, regardless of how big the group is or where the gathering takes place. But right now, it is the latter that I find my heart deeply longing for.

As I mentioned earlier, during the opportunities I have to participate in more organized corporate worship, more often than not I'm playing some sort of leadership role. Yes, it's a great blessing and humbling privilege to have such positions, and when it comes to corporate worship, being a leader doesn't separate me from the congregation, but rather gives me a responsibility to strive for unity in worship. The problem is that as a typical guy who can only do or think about one thing at a time, playing piano makes it difficult for me to focus on the message contained in a song's lyrics. (Personally, I think it's usually a good thing for worship musicians to focus on either singing in the microphone or playing an instrument, since combining the two often serves as a crutch against potentially greater excellence in either.) I approach leadership with an attitude of worshipping God through serving people. But it's simply not the same as standing among the congregation. And when opportunities to lead greatly exceed opportunities to simply participate, it leaves me with a deep desire to simply enjoy being with others while worshipping.

I can close my eyes right now and picture myself sitting in a dimly lit living room with a dozen or so others, singing praises with lyrics either printed on small sheets or projected on a screen, headed by a single leader singing and playing guitar. A few people in the room are softly harmonizing, and occasionally someone brings a djembe to add some rhythm. Every once in a while, there would be a wrong chord, a skipped beat, or some other embarassing goof-up. But the simplicity of the setup makes it easy for everyone to simply laugh a little and continue singing without losing focus.

That's how it was like almost every week during GCCI's young adult small groups. I got lucky in that, because most of the houses we met at didn't have a piano, I was spared the responsibility of leading. And to be honest, even though so many people seem to embrace the popular (but usually counterproductive) "the-more-the-merrier" approach to musical leadership, adding a piano would not have benefitted our overall setting at all. The simple setup we had eliminated the need for tedious rehearsal hours and was the perfect volume so we could all hear ourselves sing. And though singing is not my strength, I greatly enjoyed simply being among my peers and finding peace through praising our God together.

I'm not trying to imply that current ways of worship that I participate in are bad. I simply miss this particular atmosphere of worship that so clearly characterized my final years at GCCI. And the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that bringing back such an experience would make me feel truly, well, at home. Of course, I'm not planning on switching churches again, and even if I do, things have changed so much now that I will still not be able to find what I'm looking for.

Actually, I'm not even sure exactly what it is that I'm searching for. On one hand, I seek the beauty of relaxed but purposeful simplicity in worship. But on the other, I want to be musically challenged. I want to be in an environment where my musical skills, even with a college degree in the field, are critiqued, challenged, and further developed for God's glory. It's not so I can take any pride in my own accomplishments; my skills, education, and experience in music are no more significant than other people's skills, education, and experience in other fields. But I'm starting to feel more and more like I'm not being a good steward of all that God has blessed me with in music, and deep inside I have an increasing desire for opportunities to change that, whether it's through a job, a ministry, or both. Either way, music in my life will always be, as it has been, an expression of worship to God, regardless of skill level, style, or setting. And I pray that as God opens doors for me to grow as a musician, I will also continue to grow as a worshipper.

09/15: Heat Wave

It's finally here - that unpleasant but unavoidable heat wave that seems to hit Southern California every year around this time. It's past 10:30PM right now, and when I stepped outside just minutes ago, the air felt like it normally should in the middle of the day - tolerable but uncomfortable. I don't like to waste electricity, but it looks like the A/C is gonna stay on overnight.

I won't deny I'm pretty blessed to be working on the first floor of a six-story office building where the air is nice and cool and heat (from the sun shining in through the windows) tends to rise to the top. This is one of those rare times when I would voluntarily give up my lunch break and even stay overtime to do more work. It definitely beats being out in the heat. I even gave up the precious eveningtime break which would usually be spent checking out nice cars so I could sit in the mall and read a book.

Yesterday at church during Sunday School, the lights in our room suddenly began to flicker, and when we looked outside and realized it was happening to the entire church, Pastor Ken was wise enough to have us turn off everything using the building's electricity - even the precious A/C. We soon heard that there was smoke coming from the power line suspended over the street next to our church. Our meeting continued thanks to the cool air that had already circulated through the room. By the time I went outside, a cop had already shut down the street where the power line was dangling, just in case the whole thing were to fall down and fry any poor souls in its path. I guess that line wasn't too happy with the sudden increase in usage due to the heat.

Tomorrow, like today, will be spent almost entirely indoors. Thankfully, Hope Christian Fellowship usually leaves the A/C on when BSF is in session. But as tonight's leaders' meeting proved, it can be a little stuffy even with fans on. Just in case the climate control isn't as pleasant as we want it to be tomorrow, I'll throw a spare fan in my car for the sanity of my group members (and myself). It's only our first group discussion, and Moses and the Israelites haven't wandered out to the desert yet, so we don't need to feel like we're in one either.

09/07: It had been three months since I last went to a car meet. I guess that's what happens when I'm busy making plans for a marriage proposal, and there's definitely nothing wrong with that. But when Tiffany was busy with a girls-only event and both the famous Cars & Coffee Irvine and the increasingly awesome Lamborghini Newport Beach supercar meet fell on the same morning, I had absolutely no excuse, even if it meant sacrificing a little sleep. Okay, fine, it was a lot of sleep, especially for a Saturday morning. But there has never been a time when I regretted going to Orange County's most epic exotic car meets, and yesterday was definitely no exception.

Tiffany has enlighted me many times about a special discerning ability commonly known as "women's intuition". While I may never possess that skill, I do have a certain degree of "spotter's intuition", sensing when something epic is about to take place or even predicting the appearance of specific cars. Case in point - I had a good feeling there would be a Bugatti Veyron at the Newport Beach meet, and not just any Veyron, but a brand new Vitesse with an epic bespoke red and black paint job similar to that on the one-off "L'or Blanc". And guess what I saw upon arriving in the parking lot?

The funny thing is that it took a few minutes before I noticed the Veyron even though I had been standing just a few feet away from it. I blame the fact that, from the moment I arrived, there were some loud revving noises that prompted me to follow my ears and weave through the crowd until my camera was positioned in front of a brand new Lamborghini Huracan. Despite being greatly tempted, the dealer was not allowed to put any mileage on the demo car. But they sure knew how to have fun and put on a show without adding a single digit to the odometer. Apparently not all cars exist with the purpose of getting from point A to point B.

09/05: Califfany Proposal Part 5 - The Big Day (August 2)

At last, the day has come. I gave myself the luxury of a few extra hours of sleep, but still got up early enough to run errands and set everything up. Needless to say, I didn't sleep too well considering all that was on my mind. And as the morning progressed, I had to constantly remind myself of the importance of this day, praying for peace, strength, and wisdom to proceed. I went to Urth Caffe to buy the tiramisu cake, then to the florist to pick up the wreath bouquet, then with Mom to get the balloons since it was difficult to drive alone with so many helium-filled orbs floating around the car. (Somebody remind me why the heck I chose to arrange all three pick-ups at places in opposite directions from home...) I had considered sparing myself the hour of driving to get the cake by having someone nearby pick it up for me, and Tiffany's mom had even offered during dinner on Wednesday to do so. But in the end I stuck with getting it myself, since it was crucial to have the cake well ahead of time to make sure it fit on the stand and under the cover. Thankfully, it was the perfect size, especially with the rose-shaped candle sitting on top. I had called Urth twice to confirm the tiramisu was available before showing up to get it, and the guy who helped me at the counter, which happened to be the same guy who answered both of my calls, recognized me and seemed confused about why a stupid little cake mattered so much to me. Little did he know what noble purpose it would soon serve.