08/25: Dana Point Mini-Moon

Tiffany and I had spent countless hours putting together the various details of our wedding ceremony and reception. But those who were there on that day may have noticed that one major item was never mentioned - our honeymoon. The reason is that with me in an ongoing transitional phase between jobs and her having just started a new full-time job not long before the wedding, we decided to choose the path that more and more busy and budget-conscious young couples in the working world are taking - to enjoy a small weekend mini-moon first and save up some money and become more established career-wise before going on an extended honeymoon trip.

Even so, with the busyness of wedding planning, it was hard to find time to plan even a small trip. And it took another few weeks after the wedding until things were settled down enough that I could begin brainstorming. (Given how much there was to do and how tired we were after the big day, it's actually a good thing we didn't go anywhere immediately afterwards). I'm no stranger to planning my own vacations, whether it's visiting UCLA or spending a weekend in Nor-Cal. A typical trip for me would consist of visiting various friends, attending automotive gatherings, and visiting nearby points of interest. The busy schedule would leave me exhausted, but I would take great joy in knowing that I'd made the most out of my time. This vacation, however, was different. The purpose was ultimately not to visit people or have a jam-packed schedule, but rather to relax and enjoy quality time with Tiffany. Rather than focusing on saving money or making the most out of our time, we wanted to simply have a great time together, make great memories, and celebrate the beginning of our marriage with this once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Thankfully, despite my lack of experience with romantic getaways, the planning process was surprisingly smooth. Just a couple weeks ago at our Friday night small group, I overheard a conversation about a lovely Marriott resort in Dana Point. Some good ol' Google searching did the rest of the job. Affordable? For a trip this special, yes. Romantic? Absolutely. Relaxing? No doubt. A special limited-time package including two cocktails at the lounge and a one-hour massage at the resort spa? I was sold. Tiffany liked the place, too, so our mini-moon destination was confirmed. It's amazing that everything happened in only about two weeks, from first hearing about the place to researching on activities and restaurants to making reservations and putting together a detailed schedule of the whole trip. Before we knew it, our luggage was packed and we were on our way to Dana Point.

For a vacation, what we did was really nothing spectacular - We simply left home Saturday morning, spent the night at the resort, and drove back Sunday night. That way we wouldn't have to take time off work or pay for an additional night's stay. Plus, Dana Point is only about 70 miles away from Monrovia, so we didn't have to spend too much time on the road or lose too much sleep to beat traffic. We arrived just in time for brunch at RJ's Cafe. Our waitress Monica greeted us warmly, and I realized at that time that it would be a good idea to let people know throughout the trip that we were on our mini-moon vacation and ask them to help take pictures for us. The ocean breeze was perfect for outdoor patio seating, and our food - strawberry toast and bratwurst - left us with no doubt that we would need to do a lot of exercising to stay in shape.

Thankfully, our vacation was a healthy balance of good food and good exercise. We spent the next hour or so enjoying a scenic hike along the coast. Usually we prefer to hike in the morning when the weather is cooler. But here, the warm sunshine and the cool ocean breeze were a match made in heaven. Even though we had been greeted with the rare So-Cal summer rainstorm at both our engagement party and our wedding, Mother Nature decided to play nice this time, giving us the lovely beachfront weather that makes people in most other states jealous.

Our hotel, the Laguna Cliffs Marriott, was able to grant us an early check-in time. We dropped off the car at the valet, grabbed our belongings, and were greeted by Susan at the front desk. It seems like in this tourist-based community, just about everyone, whether staff or fellow visitors, has the intention of helping each other have a good time. We mentioned to Susan the purpose of our stay, and little did we know that there would be a surprise waiting for us. More on that later. We moved into our hotel room, complete with a relaxing patio facing the swimming pool with some palm trees and the ocean in the background. From here, pretty much everything would be within walking distance.

The next stop? A two-hour whale watching expedition down at Dana Wharf. Surprisingly especially for a Saturday afternoon, our boat was only booked to probably about less than half its capacity, so there was plenty of room to move around. And the whales? I don't even know how to begin. Our captain did a great job of communicating with nearby boats to find whales, and all together we saw probably about three or four blue whales, plus one humpback. It's one of those things that you really have to experience in person to fully appreciate.

On the way back to our room, it wasn't hard to see where Laguna "Cliffs" got its name; the resort and the park in front of it were built on a significantly higher elevation than the harbor, and getting there required walking up a stairway with 108 steps before another slight hill climb. At least it balances out our big brunch, just in time for dinner.

We returned to our hotel room for a quick break and immediately noticed that there were several new items on the desk that weren't there when we left a few hours ago. It turned out Susan decided to give us an unforgettable Marriott welcome by surprising us with a bottle of champagne, some chocolate-covered strawberries (how did she know we love dark chocolate?), and a personalized card wishing us a happy marriage. I'm usually under the assumption that gifts from businesses have some sort of fine print or ulterior motive. But this was really all a free gift; none of it was charged to us!

We enjoyed our two choice cocktails and some delicious steak, pasta, and truffle fries for dinner on the outdoor deck of the resort's OverVue lounge. As its name suggests, the view, which consists of the park and the ocean, was amazing. We were particularly entertained by a random bunny, which Tiffany affectionately named Thumper, playing around the field. Some live jazz music halfway through the meal only made the mood even more fitting for our occasion. Back in our room, the champagne was popped and sipped, and after taking some time to rest, we went out to the pool area to enjoy the Jacuzzi. Going to an outdoor pool at night might seem like a crazy idea, but I'm glad we did. The therapeutically warm water and the cool ocean breeze balanced each other out perfectly. And to our surprise, we were the only people there! You'd think that at a big resort on a weekend, at least a few other guests would be taking advantage of its recreational facilities. Not that we're complaining or anything...

Back in our room with the rest of the champagne chugged and strawberries eaten, the only things left to do were to wash up and to enjoy a good night's sleep. It had been an incredible day, and our trip was not even halfway over yet.

Day Two. As tempting as it was to sleep in, we managed to crawl out of bed at 8:00 in the morning. The reason? The famous Stack's Pancake House was only a half-mile walk away, and the later we went, the longer the line would be. We were lucky to be seated rather quickly when we arrived; by the time we were done, the line was out to the street.

Tiffany's Rocky Road pancakes were so big that both of us together couldn't finish the leftovers. Back in our room, it was time to pack our belongings and check out. Next time, we should really spend at least two nights here so we can have at least a full day to enjoy all that the resort has to offer. (They also have complementary rentals for bicycles and other recreational activities that we didn't have time totake advantage of). But given all that we have already enjoyed and all that was still in store for us on this trip, we had no right to complain.

We saw Susan at the front desk again while checking out. She remembered us, and we thanked her for the thoughtful and generous gifts in our room. The hotel agreed to keep our luggage for us while we enjoyed a few more activities on their facility.

Given that this place was called "Resort & Spa", the experience simply wouldn't be complete without a visit to - you guessed it - the spa. Since one massage was included in our package, we only had to pay for the other one, plus a small fee to upgrade to their Couples' Serenity Massage. It's our mini-moon after all, so what's the point if we can't be together?

The spa staff was very kind and attentive, even when I accidentally scrambled the numbers on my locker and locked all my clothes inside. (Thanks to the robes they provided, I didn't have to waltz into the lobby naked.) The massage itself was unbelievably relaxing; their specially blended oil worked wonders, and despite me being notoriously ticklish, I was able to remain almost completely relaxed even as the masseuse worked on my toes - something I never thought would be possible. Our treatment came with complementary champagne and chocolates afterwards, along with all-day access to the sauna, which we enjoyed before heading out to lunch.

We had lunch at the resort's Vue restaurant, right in front of Thumper's field. I almost thought the place was closed already when we showed up; there were practically no other guests there. (Where the heck did everyone go?) We enjoyed another relaxing and peaceful outdoor dining experience. Having stuffed ourselves with plenty of less-than-healthy foods throughout the trip, we opted for two delicious salads, complete with shrimp and crab. Then it was time to retrieve our luggage, get the car from the valet, and drive down to the beach for more fun. We were technically allowed to leave the car at the valet until night, but decided not to do so we wouldn't have to walk up those 108 steps again.

Next on our agenda - two hours of kayaking in the ocean. Upon checking in at the Dana Point Jet Ski and Kayak Center, we were told to go out to the dock and talk to "a guy named Guy". Sure enough, there was a guy outside wearing a bright orange T-Shirt that says "I'm that guy named Guy". Easy enough. Guy gave us our life jackets and paddles, and very soon we were in our kayak ready to explore the ocean - well, at least the part within the rock walls; after a brief attempt to venture out into the deep, we decided to remain within the safety of the walls for the sake of keeping ourselves and our belongings dry. It was amazing how kayaks, rafts, sailboats, jet skis, and yachts all peacefully shared the same chunk of ocean. There were many fishermen as well, and we made sure to not get ourselves caught in their lines. Oh, and there were also lots of sea lions who enjoyed popping their heads out of the water spontaneously like a giant game of Whac-A-Mole. I resisted the temptation to use my paddle as a mallet though, since it would most likely result in us either flipping over or losing a paddle, with everyone on the pier laughing at us.

The rest of the afternoon was free time to relax on the beach, which we had not yet set foot on despite having spent so much time near/on the ocean. Kayaking left us pretty tired, so we simply found an open spot on the sand, put out our beach towel, and enjoyed a little nap. It didn't matter who was around us or what they were doing. We were married and happily enjoying our once-in-a-lifetime mini-moon getaway. And each time I took a deep breath, felt the lovely breeze, and gazed at the infinite depth of the ocean and the sky, I couldn't help but be humbled by the beauty of God's marvelous creation. It was He who brought us together and blessed us with the means of enjoying this vacation, and even in those inevitable times when the road gets rough, we must always remember times like this and remain thankful.

We proceeded to enjoy a little romantic walk along the beach (because what beachfront mini-moon is complete without a romantic walk along the beach?), then changed into more indoor-appropriate attire before heading to dinner. Our reservation was at Wind & Sea, conveniently located on the Dana Wharf pier where we boarded our whale watching boat the previous afternoon. (And parking was free!) With three sides of the restaurant facing the ocean, it was a perfect combination of a spectacular outdoor view and a romantic indoor ambience. We were seated at a booth overlooking the ocean, and we munched on our calamari strips, pasta, and fish & chips while enjoying live music, the beautiful sunset, and a crowd of very vocal sea lions out on the pier that appeared to be having a pro wrestling competition in which the losers ended up back in the water.

It seemed like we had already been in Dana Point forever. But it also seemed too short. We made so many great memories in the past day and a half, but it was still a little hard to accept the fact that it was all about to come to an end already. We finished our dinner, took some more pictures outside, and headed home. Then we woke up in the morning and went to work just like any other weekday, as if everything that happened was all just a dream. It was a wonderfully elaborate dream though, just as we had hoped for - an exciting adventure, a relaxing getaway, a romantic vacation, an unforgettable mini-moon, and a perfect beginning for our lifelong journey of marriage.

07/22: Many people have told me that my wedding day would be one of the most important days of my life. Second only to the day I gave my life to the Lord, it is when I would, before God and before many witnesses, make a commitment to spend the rest of my life with the girl who I choose to be my wife, placing our relationship above my own desires and her well-being above my own, regardless of circumstance. It is when I would, under God's guidance, become the leader of a new household and new family. It is when I would enter a new stage of my life, filled with new surprises and challenges.

Ever since Tiffany and I began talking about marriage while dating, there have been many fears I had to overcome. I had to save up money to buy a ring. I had to work up the guts and find a creative way to propose to her. (Thankfully, that night turned out great.) I had to decide on a team of guys to be my groomsmen, bearing witness to my commitment to Tiffany. I had to find venues and vendors for our wedding day. I had to prepare to live independently. Oh, and I had to learn how to dance. (Thanks Ken for those coupons for ballroom dancing lessons!) Each of those steps had brought me great stress, but by God's grace I was able to face my weaknesses and grow stronger. The process of planning and preparing for the wedding opened doors to a whole new set of unexpected obstacles to overcome. But at the end when all was said and done, there was one last thing to do - to make this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity a truly meaningful and memorable one.

It wasn't until I arrived at Sierra Madre Congregational Church on Friday night for the wedding rehearsal that I really began to realize what was happening. The funny thing is that I've played piano for so many weddings over the years that, even as I walked into the church, it felt as if I were simply showing up to practice music for someone else's wedding. In fact, I only knew about this church because I had played piano at a wedding there many years ago. But Josh was already seated at the piano, practicing the tunes I had written specially for this occasion. This time, I was going to play a different role.

For the first time, I stood on the stage with my best man and groomsmen next to me and Tiffany's bridesmaids on the other side. Christine, our coordinator, and Holly, the hostess at the church, guided everyone through the processional. Tiffany's dad walked her down the aisle and handed her to me. One day later, I would call him my own dad, and her my wife. Pastor Ken ran through the rest of the program. He had us "rehearse" our first kiss and somewhat jokingly graded it a "C". It turned out he had been so accustomed to couples having kissed before marriage that he didn't know we were saving our first kiss for the wedding day. We had simply faked our kiss; having already waited this long, one more day wouldn't hurt.

The rehearsal went by surprisingly quickly, and we headed over to Full House Seafood Restaurant in Arcadia for our rehearsal dinner. Tiffany and I did our toasts, gave gifts to our wedding party, and enjoyed dinner with our honored guests, including relatives from out of state and from Taiwan. Then everyone said goodbye and went their separate ways. The next time we all met would be at the wedding.

I'm quite amazed that I was actually able to fall asleep that night. Usually when a major event is about to take place, I simply can't stop thinking about it. At one point, it did occur to me that it would be the last time I slept on the air mattress borrowed from Carol and Brandon before moving into the master bedroom, which Tiffany and I had already furnished and left unblemished for our first night as a married couple. But with the burden of months of preparation and planning finally off my shoulders, I guess it was only natural to knock out quickly.

Wedding celebrations may typically be focused on the bride, but one major advantage of being the groom is not having to wake up ridiculously early to do hair and makeup. I woke up without an alarm, had some breakfast, and made a quick run to Wal-Mart to grab some breath mints. (It had finally occurred to me that, given this was my wedding, I should probably make myself at least somewhat presentable). While driving back to the apartment, I rolled down the car windows to enjoy the fresh morning breeze, only to be interrupted by a few raindrops. My mom had mentioned to me earlier in the week that there would be a chance of rain, but at the time I was so caught up with stressing over last-minute wedding problems that I simply dismissed her warning to avoid having more to stress about. But I guess God must have been really intentional about topping off our big day with a rare Southern California summer rainstorm. I'm not sure if it's a coincidence or not, but we received the same gift last summer on the night I proposed to her. And as I watched anxiously from the apartment window as the rain grew stronger with no sign of the clouds going away, I prayed the same prayer, which I learned from the wise Steve Quatro, that I had prayed that evening - "If God sends rain, rain is my choice".

I read the letter that Tiffany wrote and left on my desk for me to read before the wedding. It had been a rather rough week with all the last-minute wedding details taking a toll on the quality time that we enjoy together, but her words spoke right to my heart. I had written her a letter too. Chances are she had read it already; the girls had been at her house to get ready and do hair and makeup since before I woke up. I really wanted to call her just to say hi, but forced myself to swallow the urge. After all, in just a few hours, we would be married.

Soon, Ken and Ben showed up at the apartment, with Nintendo Wii U in hand to present a clear contrast to the girls' fashion party. Kenny and Kevin came too, and we enjoyed some epic games of Mario Chase, all captured by our photographers and videographers, who we gladly invited to participate too. (Oh, for the love of our obese nation, who remembers the good ol' days when playing tag actually required getting up and running?) We had so much fun that the simple lunch on the table was left almost untouched despite me announcing several times that the food was ready. But amidst all the laughing and "running", we knew that there was a bigger reason why we were all gathered. Soon we began to get dressed in our tuxes, a process which was prolonged and repeated for the sake of photography and videography, even though it really doesn't take that long.

The rain stopped, though the clouds were still imminent enough to leave us assured that it would be back. We took a few pictures outside on the apartment balcony, then gathered for a brief time of prayer. It's great that all of us were united not only in mind and body, but also in spirit. Christine, who was with the girls, sent us a text telling us that the limo had arrived. We went outside and enjoyed a few more pictures just as the white stretched Hummer pulled up in front of the apartment. It was my first time riding in a limo, and even though the streets were all familiar, everything felt different. Of course, that's probably because my heart was beginning to beat faster at the realization that all of this is actually happening.

We arrived at the church and took some more pictures while the limo went to pick up the girls. Having played piano at so many weddings before, I was especially thankful that the church turned on the A/C ahead of time for those coming early to get ready and help set up. While waiting in the grooms' room for the girls to arrive, some of the guys were tempted to make a run down the block to get boba. (It's not my fault they chose to play Mario Chase and not have as much time for lunch!) About a minute after they left, it began raining - hard. Oh, and the church doors had locked behind them. After a few seconds of listening to frantic knocking, I let them in before their tuxes got completely soaked. Thank God for the effective reminder that groomsmen are supposed to stay with the groom!

The girls arrived and enjoyed their share of pictures in front of the church. (The rain had eased away again, now that God's judgement was complete). Then I was escorted outside for the big moment - the first look. It just happened that I heard loud giggling coming from a window upstairs, and somebody closed the blinds just as I looked up. The girls' location was no longer a secret, but I had yet to see my bride in her dress, which I had not seen before. The bridesmaids joined the groomsmen to witness what would be to me an indescribably glorious moment - Turning around, seeing Tiffany beautiful as ever in her wedding dress, and embracing her, knowing that in no time, we would be calling each other husband and wife.

A light sprinkle didn't stop us from taking some pictures together outside. (As long as Richie and Tom didn't mind exposing their expensive equipment to the elements, we had no right to complain!) It wasn't until we were safely within the confines of our rooms that a hard and prolonged shower began. In the grooms' room, I paced back and forth nervously, occasionally peeking out the window to see who had just arrived in the parking lot. Thanks to a small speaker set in the room, we were able to hear what was going on outside. Josh played hymns and praise songs on the piano to set the mood for what was to come.

At that point, nothing else seemed to matter. All those months of crazy preparations, all the fears of things not going as planned - they simply weren't important anymore. It didn't matter if the rain never stopped, or if somebody in the wedding goofed up while playing their role, or if nobody ever found out that all the music in the ceremony was specially written and arranged by the groom himself as a gift of love for his bride. I didn't even know what time it was and how long Christine and Holly decided to stall before beginning the ceremony. All I knew was that the wedding was about to begin, and it was time to make it count.

Then everything began to unfold before my eyes. The music changed to the first of the original pieces. From the side door leading to the stage, I saw my mom and Tiffany's mom light the candles. Then suddenly the groomsmen, Pastor Ken, and I were on the stage in front of a couple hundred people who were all gathered for the same reason. The rest of the wedding party walked down the aisle one by one. Little Luke decided to freeze just a few steps in, and Peter quickly jumped to the rescue, helping both the ring pillow and the ring bearer complete the daunting journey down the aisle. When in my obsessive planning mode, it's easy to think of things like this as mistakes or problems I must work to avoid. But today, it's all about love, and even if love means the inconvenience of rain, a timid ring bearer, a dropped guitar pick during the worship songs, or a hard time herding the different groups of guests together for pictures, it would still joyfully remain at the center of our hearts.

The guests rose and turned to face the door. Tiffany's dad walked her down the aisle and handed her to me. Even though he is often known for having a rather serious face, today he was not afraid to be emotional. After all, he'll only get to do this for his oldest daughter once.

Peter led us and the guests in singing "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" and "In Christ Alone", which reflect the heart of our faith and the hope that we share as believers in the God who brought us together. Melanie read from 1 John 4:16b-19, which concludes with, "we love because he first loved us". That's exactly why had kept pressing on with our journey over the years of dating, engagement, and now marriage. If we loved each other only by our own strength and only for our positive characteristics, then our relationship would have fallen apart long before we reached this point. But because God first loved us wholeheartedly and in all of our imperfections, we are empowered to do the same to each other.

It wasn't until actually planning my own wedding that I realized just how many events there were in a single ceremony, and to be honest, if you asked me now to recite the order of events at my wedding, or even just list all the steps of the ceremony, I would need to pull out a copy of the program. At some point, we exchanged vows which we wrote to each other, along with rings to symbolize our lasting commitment to each other. We took communion and lit the unity candle together. Ever since I was a kid, I had a tendency to get emotional at weddings, even when playing piano for people I had never met before. I had assured Tiffany many times in the past that I would definitely cry at our own wedding, and now she knows I wasn't kidding.

Pastor Ken spoke a message emphasizing the importance of the "four C's" (comedy, covenant, cleave, and cornerstone). I've heard many people say that they don't remember a thing the pastor said at their own weddings, since they were understandably so focused on their new husband/wife. Surprisingly, when Bryan (MC) kindly called us out during the reception to recite the main points of Pastor Ken's sermon in front of all the guests, I was still able to do so. Maybe being slightly intoxicated actually worked in my favor.

We made sure to dedicate a portion of the wedding to our parents who, despite the countless inevitable cases of parent-child conflicts over the years, worked so hard to raise us to become who we are today. The truth is that we'll never fully understand what they've been through until we have kids of our own to raise. But in the mean time, we wanted to do our best to express our gratitude to them. Thanks to Pastor Ken's wonderful suggestion, we each wrote a personal letter to our parents, and had Steph and Ken read them aloud as we stood beside our parents. One of the biggest personal wishes I've always had regarding my wedding ceremony was that I would have an opportunity to honor my deceased dad, and this turned out to be the perfect opportunity. I told Ken ahead of time that if he made people cry, then it's a sign he read the letter well. Let's just say he did a phenomenal job.

"Dear Mom, I can't describe how thankful I am for who you are and all that you have done. Even as a single Mom, you did everything you could to not only stand strong, but also to make our whole family strong. Over the years, you have blessed me with immeasurable joy, encouragement, and wisdom. You taught me to always look at the positive side in every situation, to always be thankful even for little things, and most importantly, to always trust in God. Mom, you are one of the most humble people I know, because your love for me never changed even though I've done so many stupid and selfish things. I wasn't always a good kid to raise, but you did so much out of love for me even though I won't fully understand it all until it's my turn to raise children someday. Thank you for always caring for me, for being so supportive of my relationship with Tiffany, and simply for being the best Mom I can possibly ask for. I promise we will come back to visit you often. I love you, Mom."

"Dear Dad, even though you lost your battle with cancer when I was young, you taught me that through God, we have an even greater victory - victory over death through faith. Through your fight, you showed me what it means to turn our greatest struggles into times of greatest joy, and to this day I am reminded that no matter how God chooses to answer my prayers, I must continue to trust Him. Dad, I know you are in heaven with Jesus right now, and I know that one day we will meet again. Until then, you will always be my inspiration, even in the most difficult times. I will do my best to continue loving and caring for Mom as you would, and I will do my best to be a good husband to Tiffany just as you were to Mom. I love you, Dad."

I'm very glad we chose to spend the money for Amos, Isaiah, and Angie to capture our wedding on video, because things happened so quickly that it would take at least a few viewings of the video before I'd be able to get a good grip on exactly what took place. We gave each other our first kiss - without holding back this time, and worthy of an "A+". We joyfully walked out the chapel as husband and wife, then returned to take pictures as groups of guests were called up one after another. Then we were escorted out to the limo to head over to Glendora Country Club for the banquet.

At some point in the wedding planning process, I had flirted with the idea of incorporating my personal hobby by renting a unique car to drive to/from the wedding and reception. But I'm glad I didn't. First of all, it was pouring outside, and if I had to pay for transportation in this kind of weather (not to mention the traffic jams that naturally come with it), I'd much rather have someone else be the driver. Also, our wedding party was able to join us on the ride. Lastly, apparently ABA Unique Limos decided to throw in a complementary bottle of champagne, even though I was told when signing the contract that only water and soda would be included. We had so much fun that it didn't even quite hit me yet that Tiffany and I were actually married.

Christine sent me a text to assure me that everything in Glendora was under control. Looking back now, I think I probably made her life rather difficult by being such a detail-oriented "groomzilla" who not only tried to take so much into my own hands, but also went crazy worrying about things potentially not turning out as they should. Given how most things had miraculously worked out just in time for the wedding, my two biggest remaining fears on the morning of the big day were that our pictures would be ruined by the rain, and that the cocktail hour at the country club outdoor balcony would be obliterated. The first had already been relieved when the rain eased before the ceremony. And thanks to Christine's hard work and the country club's flexibility, so was the second.

Despite the frenzy of vendors setting everything up inside the clubhouse right before the reception, the club was able to make room to have our cocktail hour moved indoors as well, relocating all the pictures, decorations, and various other items so that guests would be able to have a good time without getting soaked. The only downside is that because much of the food was already on display, it was no longer a surprise. I had told many people that even if the rest of the wedding was a disaster, the food would make up for it. After all, an overwhelming majority of my wedding-planning stress came from figuring out the logistics of the food and the venue. I had the chance to mingle with the guests for a bit while Tiffany and the girls were escorted away for more pictures. Everyone was amazed at the food, and I assume most were smart enough to figure that it was not time to eat yet. In the mean time, we enjoyed the pre-selected offerings from the bar - beer, wine, manhattans (my choice drink), and midori sours (Tiffany's choice drink). The club also decided to start serving mimosas (which were originally only to be served during the actual dinner banquet time) early, helping keep things even more classy.

Thanks to a covered patio area outside the clubhouse, we still managed to take some pictures with the green lawn in the background. The rain probably worked in Richie's favor; he doesn't have to worry about Photoshopping any golfers out of the pictures! Sure, it caused a few inconveniences - okay, fine, a lot of inconveniences - and was not my idea of a picture-perfect wedding. But in a sense, it actually added a deeper touch of romance, mystery, and intimacy to the whole day. (After all, how often do we get a rainstorm here in the middle of July?)

The banquet began. It was definitely a strange feeling for me. As one who typically enjoys planning and hosting events more than attending them, I'm no stranger to being the one who sets up and inspects all the little details to make sure they are as good as possible. This time, all those details - the cake, the flowers and centerpieces from Auntie Erhna, along with table number cards and other pre-designed items that had been entrusted to Christine at the rehearsal - were already taken care of, and all I had to do was be with Tiffany and join everyone in celebrating the beginning of a new chapter in our lives.

Tiffany and I, along with the wedding party, made our grand entrance, followed by our first dance. We had hoped to squeeze in a few more dance lessons before the wedding if time permitted, but a simple dance ended up doing the job just fine. Will (DJ) treated us to plenty of great music throughout the night, while Bryan once again proved himself as the favorite MC of all who knew him from growing up at GCCI.

The list of items on our receipt for the dinner buffet was literally over a entire page long, and those who were there can testify that there was no shortage of diversity, with king crab legs, various meats and vegetables, and a huge dessert selection to make sure nobody left hungry. Thankfully, it didn't take a lifetime for people sitting in the back to get their share. In the mean time, we went around greeting guests and taking pictures at each table. Various activities, including a photo booth (thanks to a special deal with MStudioArts that Eric and Jen found for us), some table activities, and of course, the bar, gave even the most antisocial of guests an opportunity to have fun.

We danced with our parents, and her dad, my mom, Ken, and Angela gave speeches and toasts. Sometimes, in the midst of all the partying and celebrating, it's the touching words from people closest to us that really remind us of how significant this day is, as well as how blessed we are to have so many people care so much about us. Some of our friends and relatives came from distant cities, states, and countries just to join us. Their thoughtfulness and support is truly humbling; we barely got to exchange more than a few words with them in the midst of all that was going on. But we'll be sure to make up for it when we see them again.

The wedding slideshow, which consists of pictures of our growth as well as our dating relationship, along with the video of our engagement, kept guests entertained while Tiffany went to change into her qipao. Even though we didn't go with a more traditional Asian-style wedding banquet (and neither of us are particularly good at Chinese), we couldn't help but give a little nod to our heritage. Speaking of Chinese, who knew that we would end up getting our wedding cake from good ol' JJ Bakery? The cake, which we had custom designed to fit our special day, perfectly captured the simple but elegant look we had hoped for. (But who the heck splashed cream on our cake topper birds?) We cut the cake and fed a bite to each other. Some of it ended up on my face. Maybe I was too focused on aiming for her mouth, or maybe she was too focused on taking her own bite. Or maybe we both had too much champagne.

MC Shaw came up with a brilliant question-and-answer game to keep us and everyone else amused. Apparently we are in agreement on most issues, even though there are a few that might need some polishing. Hey, working through disagreements is an essential part of a healthy marriage, isn't it? We proceeded with the traditional garter and bouquet toss. It finally occurred to me then that even though I've participated in many garter tosses at other weddings before and never thought too much about them, this would be my last time ever doing so. Even while attending weddings as a committed dating couple, I had been a little unsure about whether "single guys" referred to all unmarried guys or only those who had yet to find a significant other. But from now on, whether you're talking socially or legally, I'm no longer single, and don't plan on being single ever again.

In terms of organized activities, it was time to call it a night. But we couldn't just let DJ Will go home without a little more fun, right? The dance floor was opened, the party music began to blast, and young and old alike came to join the fun. We spent some time mingling with a few more quests before jumping on the bandwagon. I often tell people I refuse to dance in public until I've had enough drinks. Of course, on an occasion like this, I made sure to remain sober enough to actually remember everything. But with multiple glasses of champagne and manhattans downed, it was time to party.

Tiffany and I danced with our guests until it was time to shut the party down. There was just enough time for us to join some friends and catch a few snapshots at Marco's photo booth. Then, it was time to go home. The limo was already long gone, since keeping it would require paying a ludicrous amount for five hours of waiting time. But special thanks to Colin, we didn't have to walk home. Eric and Jen helped babysit all the gifts and bring them to our apartment. It will probably take days, if not weeks, to open and look through everything.

It was a strange feeling to be back home - our home. The crazy weather throughout the day only made everything seem more surreal. The apartment was always intended to be for both of us, but now it's actually all happening - our new life together, under the same roof, as a married couple. We're both glad we didn't follow the popular path of going straight from our wedding to our honeymoon; after so much preparation and so much partying, we were both overjoyed and exhausted, and all we really wanted was a good night's sleep to allow everything to sink in.

We actually managed to make it to church the next morning, to most people's surprise. Sure, a few extra hours of sleep might have been beneficial. But what better way to begin our married life than to join our brothers and sisters in giving praise to God? The many encouraging words we received left us assured that we are, as we always have been, truly blessed. And they serve as a great reminder that we didn't make it this far by our own strength.

Over the course of wedding planning, we frequently reminded ourselves that the ultimate goal of our big day would be to give glory to the God who brought us together. The wedding only served to mark the beginning of the new journey ahead, and it is my wish and prayer that our marriage will be no less of an expression of praise to Him. In the same way we have learned countless times to communicate, encourage, forgive, and remain faithful while dating and while planning for the wedding, we must even more importantly do so while married, no matter where the journey leads us, so that our walk together will remain vibrant and meaningful.

I enter the world of marriage with both great joy and great concern. While we humans often have a tendency to prefer doing things we feel comfortable with or confident in, I begin this journey, just as I did when dating Tiffany, knowing it will lead to a vast unknown filled with surprises and challenges. I grew up with neither experience in relationships nor a father figure for most of my life. Just less than a few months ago, even living alone in an apartment was a brand new experience. Kissing a girl, sharing a bed with her, managing our home and our resources together, being the leader of a family... all these things remind me that marriage is not a journey that I can face alone. This is not a journey that Tiffany and I can face together on our own either. I have said many times already, and will say again as a priceless reminder to ourselves and to all who witnessed each stage of our relationship, that it was none other than God who allowed us to cross paths, prompted us to take the leap of faith and begin our relationship, taught us step by step to love each other over the years, and led us to where we are now. To Him be all the glory.

"Tiffany, you are the greatest gift God has given me in this world. I have always wished that the first girl I date would be the one I marry, and today I'm happier than ever before that God has answered my prayer. It's time to begin a new chapter of the story God is writing in our lives together. Today, before God and before these witnesses, I take you to be my wedded wife. I love your soft and childlike heart, your smile that always brings joy to me and others around you, and your strong faith, because it sure takes a lot of faith to marry someone crazy like me. I will turn to Christ as Head of our home and love you as you are, just as God first loved us. I promise to always cherish you, serve you, trust you, protect you, honor you, and be faithful to you from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, through joy and through sorrow, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live. All these things I promise to you in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ, who brought us together and continues to guide us every day according to His will."

07/16: To an extent, I can now understand why some brides and grooms get so overwhelmed by wedding planning that they end up canceling the event completely. I'm not saying it's right to back out on such an important promise. But the reality, which for a long time I refused to believe until it came time for me to experience it myself, is that wedding planning can be such an overwhelming task that it can bring out the worst in everyone, making them question even their most heartfelt commitments.

Tiffany once asked me if I thought she would be a "bridezilla" when it came to wedding planning. I told her I didn't think so - and I'm glad I was right. But little did I know that, if there were such thing as a "groomzilla", that would probably describe me quite accurately. I'm not sure why, but for almost as long as I can remember, I have found it unusually difficult to trust people. That's what makes me such a control freak - When it comes to things I really care about, I have very high expectations for myself, and in just about every case, the only way to make sure things get done as they're supposed to is if I do them myself. The problem, though, is that when it comes to putting together something as big as a wedding for over 250 guests, it's impossible to succeed without the help of others. And that makes things both a whole lot easier and a whole lot more difficult.

Tiffany and I both know that I'm more of the planner while she's more of the social butterfly. So from the very beginning, it has brought me great joy to be able to piece together all the little details of the wedding. Working part-time gave me several precious additional hours every day to research on vendors, design artwork, and envision what the big day will look like. By God's grace, I managed to find some great deals, write original music for the ceremony, and even design a special Califfany logo. But as time passed, wedding planning became more like a second job. Deadlines came closer with only less-than-satisfactory progress made. And the fact that meeting those deadlines often involve other people only added to the challenge.

To be honest, I'm quite amazed that I've made it this far without going nuts. After months of dealing with one stressful situation after another, most of which were caused by people not doing what they agreed to do, I had thought that the few weeks before the wedding could be spent preparing emotionally for the big day. But it seemed like the closer the wedding got, the more problems there were to worry about. Our printed wedding programs just arrived yesterday. Some of the most crucial wedding expenses weren't confirmed until just a couple days ago. Earlier this afternoon the bakery told me that someone supposedly called in and requested to change the flavor of our cake, even though no one actually did. Whether it's guests, family members, or vendors, there almost hasn't been a single group of people that could help me break free from my pessimistic belief that I can't trust anyone.

I definitely wish I have more time. But the fact is that the wedding is just two short days away, and whether or not I feel ready, it's time to put aside all the worries and shift my focus to the fact that I'm actually about to get married. I wasn't (and still am not) afraid to dream big when it comes to the wedding, and I've come to terms with the fact that there are a lot of big things I hoped for that aren't going to happen. But at the same time, there are a lot of potential disasters that can be successfully avoided now that things are finally all coming together. As a control freak, one of the greatest challenges I must face when it comes to confronting the realities of life is that my way isn't always the best or the only way. The wedding will clearly not be 100% the way I had imagined it to be. But then again, neither was my proposal to Tiffany last summer, and to this day I still consider it to be the single most intricately planned, wonderfully executed display of my love to anyone in this world.

Some people feel so confident about themselves after planning their wedding that they feel like they can do it as a job. I'm definitely not one of them. Throughout the planning process, I often considered whether it would have been better to pay a wedding planner to do all the work that I drove myself crazy with. After all, given how many hours I spent and how much stress I endured, it would have made much more economic sense to dish out the money for a planner and invest my time in something else. But looking back now, do I regret my decision to bear this burden? Absolutely not. Even the most experienced planner wouldn't know Tiffany and I as personally and deeply as we know each other, and given how this is probably the single most important milestone of our relationship, I'm glad I've seized the opportunity to turn it into not only a well-organized and well-executed celebration, but also a personal gift of love to the one I've chosen to spend the rest of my life with.

Giving gifts isn't always easy though, and this gift has definitely brought out the worst of me in many ways. Wedding planning exposed my shortcomings in managing time, people, and resources. It put into the spotlight my tendency to easily get frustrated and lose motivation when even the smallest things don't go my way. It also showed how bad I am at handling stress and not letting my stress hurt the people around me, especially those closest to me.

Ironically, the one closest to me just happens to be the one to whom I'm pouring out my heart through planning the wedding. And as the pressure increased over time, things often feel like the very opposite of how I've imagined the days right before our wedding to be. I know that somewhere deep inside, I've always been in love with my soon-to-be wife, humbled by God's provision and the need for His continued guidance, and excited for the big day. But too often those emotions and realities are lost in an overwhelming sea of frustration and stress, too close to being dangerously forgotten.

Tiffany can definitely testify to all this, since most of the time she's the one on the receiving end of it all. Just earlier this evening, we were sitting here in the apartment talking about wedding stuff as the preparations finally began to seem conclusive, and I broke down as I finally realized that it was time to push any remaining logistical burdens aside and accept the truth that in just a couple days, we're going to be married. The countless days, weeks, and months of preparation and planning, which have basically become a second job to me, are suddenly going to come to an end, and everything that we've dreamt of and worked so hard for is suddenly going to unfold before our eyes. It was time to remove all the distractions and connect with my emotions as the truth finally sank in - in just a couple days, I will see my bride walking down the aisle in her wedding dress, and we will exchange our vows, put rings on each other's fingers, and be united as one in marriage. It's all too wonderful, too emotional, and too overwhelming for me to bear.

Thankfully, this burden isn't all on my own shoulders. After all, teamwork is an essential component of marriage. It's not something I'm good at, but from the very beginning Tiffany and I knew that our relationship isn't about being good at everything, but rather learning and growing together. And as my emotions came crashing down, she gave me exactly what I needed - a shoulder to cry on and the assurance that she loves and accepts me as I am. Sure, we may not always meet each other's hopes and expectations, or even our own hopes and expectations. But that's why the love we will soon vow to give each other is a humble, unconditional, Christ-centered love. It's not by our own strength that we made it this far, and it's not by our own strength that we will continue to persevere. And as we prepare our hearts for our wedding day, we believe that as we continue to center our relationship around God, there's nothing in this world that can stop us.

07/03: It seems like the closer the wedding day is, the faster the days pass by. It felt like just yesterday when there was still about a month left, and suddenly it's already July, and we're just a couple weeks away from the big day. I admit that, given hot important of an event this is, I'm surprised how little I've been affected emotionally by it. That's probably because I've been so busy getting things done that I haven't really had a chance to sit down and let the truth sink in. With each passing day, I'm thankful for the progress made, but also a little fearful of how much is still left to be done, from major planning decisions to small logistical details. The best thing to do is plan wisely, stop worrying, and take it one day at a time.

The other big milestone that hasn't quite hit me yet is that, as of a few days ago, I'm officially three decades old. Special thanks to Tiffany and my family and friends, I was able to enjoy a pair of fun and relaxing dinners that served not only as a birthday celebration, but also as a desperately-needed break from wedding preparations that I otherwise wouldn't have treated myself to. The three-day weekend definitely helps, too, though if I had the time and energy, I would definitely have planned some sort of barbecue and recruited Ken to do the grilling. Oh well, maybe next time. (If anyone happens to be throwing a party though, feel free to invite me!)

I really don't know how I would manage to survive these days if I weren't only working part-time. Sure, it would be great to have more income, and once the wedding is over I'll definitely be more aggressive in pursuing full-time work. But at this point, I'm starting to see more and more how much of a blessing it is to have several additional hours of free time every day. Tiffany and I are finally getting to that point where, when things get crossed off our wedding to-do list, they actually stay crossed off rather than causing several more items added to the list. My goal is that, a week from now, everything except the final table arrangements will be done. And that's probably the point when I start freaking out upon realizing emotionally that I'm actually getting married soon. (Sometimes I still wake up in the morning feeling like it's all just a dream!) But hey, this is only gonna happen once, so I might as well make the most out of it!