10/24: Many times over the years, I've been vested with unexpected opportunities to serve in the various church groups and fellowships I've been involved with. These opportunities include music ministries, teaching roles, and even well-respected leadership positions. Most of the time, my initial response to such offers is that I'm not good enough or simply not ready. And if I end up saying yes, it's usually because I find my assurance in a few things. First, the people who considered me for the role did so through prayer and seeking God's counsel, not through their own personal views. Second, every ability I have, whether it's a talent or an accumulation of experience, ultimately comes from God. And third, if I respond to God's call, He will surely give me wisdom to face every challenge ahead. But that doesn't mean these decisions are easy. In fact, most of the time the only easy thing for me to do is find legit reasons to justify saying "no" and simply letting my life go on as is.

The first reason I often use is the fear of being hurt. I hate to admit this, but much of how I view organized Christianity today is the result of having been hurt, misunderstood, or belittled countless times by various church and fellowship groups throughout my years as a Christian. Christians can be some of the most inconsiderate, unprofessional, and downright stupid people in the world, and I say so including myself, knowing that we are all sinners united by our need for a Savior. Other people are not wrong in calling us hypocrites, but isn't it better to be an honest hypocrite striving for a higher standard than to settle for mediocrity and dismiss the need to keep learning from my mistakes? Too many times I've tried to help those around me break out of their religious bubbles and realize a higher standard of excellence, only to end up being disappointed and hurt, often at the expense of my own growth and well-being. And having gone through the same cycle so many times, it's hard not to be convinced that new opportunities won't lead me right back to the same place.

My second reason is my own insufficiency. Yes, nobody's perfect; in fact, one of the most beautiful things about ministry is that imperfect people come together to serve a perfect God who welcomes our seemingly insignificant worship. But the combination of my lack of an earthly father figure, my heavily introverted personality, and the past problems mentioned above makes it extremely difficult for me to deal with needs in my heart that are best met with a community that is healthy, wise, and intentional. As a result, I often feel aimless, empty, and hopeless. Christian ministry isn't about meeting personal needs or finding perfectly qualified people, but a healthy ministry requires members who exhibit lives characterized by reasonably healthy growth, and until the hardness of my heart can be properly dealt with, I simply don't consider myself a proper candidate.

That leads to an important question - If I'm unfit for ministry, then why does it seem like people who are supposedly following God's guidance are always opening new doors for me? Perhaps it's because I possess qualities such as self-discipline, large-scale planning, and commitment that are increasingly hard to find in people my age. Perhaps it's because my education, talents, or experiences are valuable assets. Or perhaps I'm simply too good at hiding my problems and pretending everything is okay.

The truth is that I have no desire to hide other than to avoid repeating past mistakes. In fact, sometimes I wish I can do a better job of hiding for the sake of being respectful in public. But somehow it seems like three's a huge gap between the way people see me and who I actually am. I have no desire for popularity or recognition, yet I find myself constantly being elevated to positions I consider myself unworthy of. And over time, when all those deep unmet needs inevitably begin to creep in, I become boastful of what I clearly did not earn, and my pride blinds me from the desire for unity and further hardens this heart that is already in desperate need of healing.

There are really only two possibilities I can think of. First, maybe I've been right all along. Maybe all the people around me lack wisdom, and what they think of as following God's will is actually simply following their own hearts. Once they look deeper into who I am, they'll know that I have a long way to go before I should serve at the capacity they want me to. Or second, maybe they've been right all along. Maybe they actually see me as I am, but recognize more potential in me than I do in myself. Maybe what I see as a downward slide and an increasing gap is really all part of God's master plan to use me to do far more than I can imagine now.

It's hard for me to believe that so many seemingly well-established people around me can all be blind, but it's no less hard for me to believe that what appears to be an inevitable train wreck will actually lead me to new and greater places. I really don't know what to believe anymore, other than that God has always been faithful and will always continue to be faithful. I must come to terms with the fact that being part of a world full of imperfect people means that I'll often find myself either making mistakes or suffering from other people's mistakes. But I must also come to terms with the fact that all of our mistakes, whether big or small, along with all of their consequences, are within the incomprehensible sovereignty of our perfect God. With every decision, especially in ministry, I must humbly come before Him in honest acceptance of both His perfection and my imperfection, along with the imperfection of others. And whether He leads me to walk through an open door or turn away from it, I can be assured that He's still in complete control.

10/21: Earlier this year, my 17-year-old dog passed away. It was the first time in my adult life that I lost a loved one with whom I had prolonged regular contact, and I came to see just how difficult it is to face the reality that someone so close - even a pet - is gone and won't be coming back. As I continue coping with the pain of losing Ginger, I can't help but also remember the great loss that has deeply impacted my life for over two decades - the passing of my father.

It's difficult to say whether or not it was actually easier to face my father's death 22 years ago than it is to cope with it now. The loss itself was undoubtedly hard to bear and required a big shift in just about every part of my life. But I was only eight years old then, and while I shed many tears, it wasn't too long before I was able to find happiness again in the simplicity of a child's life. Now, it feels normal for me to live without my father's physical presence. But the farther I go down the journey of life, the more I see the detrimental effects of having to grow up without him by my side.

It seems like each year when this time comes around, I can look back and see new ways in which I've become more like the man he was. Last year, I got married. This year, I got a new office job with a long-term career plan. Perhaps somewhere down the road, I will begin to own property or raise children. With each stage of life, I can't help but wonder how things would be different if he were still here, or at least if he had been here long enough to leave me with a little more guidance. It's especially difficult for me to come to terms with how some people around me have inherited hobbies, knowledge, skills, or possessions from their fathers while I'm left to figure things out on my own. Sometimes I feel angry. Sometimes I feel disappointed. Sometimes I'm simply confused. And sometimes, I just want a little more courage, a little more encouragement, or a little more wisdom to help me face life's many challenges.

But I must not forget that my father has left me a priceless inheritance - the unwavering knowledge of the source of true satisfaction. Dad lived a life that many people might envy - He had a close relationship with his family members, a happy marriage with two children, and a well-established career. Having saved up enough money, we left Taiwan together and came to California, purchased a two-story house with a big yard, and were right on track to fulfill the "American Dream". Yet when cancer came into the picture, Dad not only realized that all of those things were only temporary, but also found true joy and peace by entrusting his life to Jesus. All that he had accumulated in this world was great, but what he had discovered by faith was so much greater that none of those things - not even the threat of death - could turn him away. By witnessing that Dad's most frail and helpless moments were also his most joyful and meaningful, I have no doubt that even if I were to have everything in the world, there would be no true satisfaction apart from Jesus.

One day, I too will leave this world. It's a rather scary thought that most people would prefer to simply avoid. But I, like Dad, should stand confidently before the realities of this sinful world, knowing that death is only the beginning. The peace and joy of heaven that Dad described with his final breaths is something far greater than what I can comprehend or imagine now. But I must have faith that he's there right now, enjoying the perfect and unblemished presence of God. One day, I too will be there with him, and until then, I must live faithfully with this great assurance to guide me every day.

10/14: Each time I close my eyes, images appear in my head. Usually, those images revolve around car shows, music projects I'm working on, dinner dates with Tiffany, or other activities I recently engaged in. Many times those images are checklists of little things that need to be done, fueled by the busyness and worries of daily life, and the only thing that can suppress them is exhaustion that makes everything other than sleep seem insignificant. But every once in a while, something happens that shakes up whatever is inside me creating those images. The usual images are pushed aside and worries flee to make room for things far beyond the ordinary. Right now when I close my eyes, I see ocean waves crashing majestically against the shore, endless stretches of open highways leading to new adventures, castles of immeasurable beauty perched on hilltops, and moments of joyous celebration and feasting spanning past, present, and future.

I once embarked on a weekend journey up north to visit some friends from college who moved back home after graduating. I was happily single and living under my mother's roof, and I had just begun my first long-term office job, which gave me enough money to go out and enjoy life a little. Booking my own flights, spending a night alone far from home... basically everything about the trip was new to me. Deep inside, I was fueled by a desire that had not changed since college - to effortfully commit to the friendships that I had been blessed with. There was no time for anything other than spending time with the people I otherwise wouldn't get to see, and when that trip came to an end far too quickly, I made a promise that I would be back again.

That was over five years ago. Needless to say, my life now is a little different compared to my life then. I met Tiffany, started dating, and got married. I moved out of Mom's house to face the realities of adult life. My career took a turn with a new office job in an entirely different environment. Wedding planning, job decisions, and the challenges of independent living have all contributed to making traveling a challenge. (I don't get vacation days until next May - That's why Tiffany and I still haven't had our official honeymoon yet!) But some things have not changed, even after half a decade. The friends I visited in Nor-Cal, all of whom were guests at my wedding, are still people I consider great friends today. And despite having to see just about everything from a practical point of view nowadays, the desire for adventure and excitement that characterized my college years still remains.

A few months ago, I was staring at the calendar pinned on my cubicle wall and discovered that my Regular Day Off (gotta love this 9/80 work schedule!) would fall on the same weekend as Columbus Day. And while good ol' Christopher didn't even know where on earth he was when he discovered America, apparently the City of LA still considers him worthy of an official City holiday. For me, that meant a four-day weekend away from any heavy travel season - In other words, an opportunity too good not to seize. Tiffany had also been wanting to go up north to see friends and visit some popular destinations. We contacted a few friends to check their availability, worked out a plan to save up some money, and bam, our four-day vacation was confirmed. As the weeks passed, details started falling into place. And the more things came together, the more we eagerly counted down the days. At last, our bags were packed and it was time for the adventure to begin.

Friday (10/07) - Unlike my previous trip, this trip did not involve any flying. With two people traveling together, it simply made more sense to drive. Plus, driving gave us the liberty to make various stops along the way, making the journey no less exciting than the actual destination. We left home around 7:00AM, and by 12:30 we had arrived at our first stop - Monterey. That's where we ran into our first obstacle (nothing ever goes perfectly as planned, right?) - the machine at the parking structure wouldn't accept my money, and the gate wouldn't open to let me in. Thankfully, I didn't cause a traffic jam at the entrance; only one car was behind me, and when I told the driver the gate was having issues, he simply backed out and left. I contacted an attendant who took a look at the machine, then opened the gate and explained that my entry had already been paid for, possibly by someone else. I didn't really understand what the heck happened, but with an extra seven bucks in my pocket in an area where free parking is pretty much nonexistent, I didn't bother finding out.

Our first stop was the Monterey Bay Aquarium (because what tourist visits Monterey without going to the aquarium?) I'd been to the aquarium before, along with some of the other destinations planned on this trip, but was too young at the time to remember much. Now that I was the one planning the trip for Tiffany and me, things were very different. Some people may think I work way too hard to plan itineraries for trips like this, but trust me, a few minutes and a few dollars can make a world of a difference. Getting to the aquarium required walking for over a mile (since I had purposely parked closer to where we would be having dinner). It's not everyday we get to enjoy a romantic walk down an oceanfront trail, especially during a time when very few other people were around. And as if we were getting tired of each other already, there were plenty of water Pokemon to keep us company. (Tiffany had spent the past week stocking up on Pokeballs for this glorious moment! And while I never actually downloaded the game, I enjoy helping her catch a few Pokemon here and there, knowing that she now understands how I feel when I see rare cars and want to run off to catch some pictures).

If you're ever interested in doing a road trip, here's a simple cost- and time-saving tip - Bring your own lunch. Tiffany and I found a random bench and enjoyed our homemade sandwiches, leaving the rest of the afternoon free to explore what the aquarium had to offer. We were still a little pressed on time since they closed at 5:00, but at least we got to enjoy a lovely 30% discount on our tickets. (Oh, the perks of being a City employee!)

We saw everything we'd expect to see at an aquarium - Fish, urchins, sharks, jellyfish, shellfish, eels, and much more. While we are no marine biologists, we were definitely fascinated by the seemingly magical worlds hidden beneath the sea. And every hour or so, we were able to catch a live feeing for sharks, penguins, or otters. (Yes, there were plenty of water Pokemon at the aquarium too.) We stayed until the workers were literally getting ready to herd people out so they could close the doors.

Next stop - Fisherman's Wharf. (After seeing so much marine life, we couldn't help but crave a little seafood!) The walk there took us along the festive Cannery Row, where we visited some shops and found a few scenic spots for pictures. If I had to sum up Fisherman's Wharf in one word, it would be "chowder". I didn't know just how big of a deal this chowder stuff was, but God must have heard Tiffany when she mentioned while planning the trip that she was craving clam chowder. The wharf was lined with seafood restaurants, and as we walked by, almost every restaurant had an attendant outside offering us free chowder samples. By the time we made our way down to the end, we had probably consumed enough chowder to fill a whole bowl at any of those restaurants. And the most amazing thing was that each chowder actually had a distinct flavor, different enough from the others that if I were to try them again in random order, I would still be able to identify which restaurant each was from.

We decided to enjoy our dinner date at Kocomo's Seafood Market (a.k.a. Grotto Fish Market), a small casual restaurant with a Hawaiian feel. Because we were early enough to beat the dinnertime rush, we got to choose the table with the best view of the harbor. (See? Told you a little good planning makes a difference!) We ordered a seafood pasta and, of course, some chowder. The pasta wasn't cheap, but it came with so much juicy seafood that we couldn't even see the actual pasta underneath. We were glad we decided to share. After a brief post-dinner walk to help digest, we were back on the road headed for the Bay Area.

Another advantage of good timing is avoiding predictable traffic. Despite a drop in my tire pressure thanks to something that punctured it on the way to Monterey, I was able to drive safely and save the worrying until after the trip. We arrived at Jeff's house in Fremont with enough time to catch up a little and get settled in for a good night's sleep. Before I go any further, I must remember to thank Jeff for kindly offering to let us stay at his house for the duration of our trip, saving us almost half of all our potential expenses. And as a bonus, I got to enjoy a little additional adventure that wasn't in my original plans. Yes, it had to do with cars.

Jeff and I grew up fueling each other's passion for cars. When I told him I was visiting, he mentioned that Canepa's monthly Cars and Coffee event would fall on the same weekend. (I promise I didn't know beforehand!) Oh, and he has a rare Boxster RS60 to make the drive there just as fun as the event itself. We both couldn't say no. But given that Tiffany didn't mind sleeping in on Saturday morning while we went out for some car-nerd bonding time, we really had no reason to hold back.

Saturday (10/08) - Sure, waking up before sunrise on a Saturday wouldn't exactly be a part of my ideal weekend getaway. But it was nothing that a cup of Starbucks couldn't fix. Jeff and I hopped in the Porsche and enjoyed a scenic morning drive down to Scotts Valley. We made every effort to arrive early, but apparently this event - the season finale of Canepa's summertime monthly meet - attracted an unusually large crowd, leaving us with no choice but to park in the dirt across the street until a few hours later when there was more room in the main lot.

For me, this meet was a familiar yet strangely different experience. The overall diversity of the 150 or so cars reminded me of the old Irvine Cars and Coffee. But being hundreds of miles away from home, each of these cars was new to me. And there was Canepa's shop, showroom, and museum, all of which were open for guests to see some of the rarest and most valuable cars on the planet. I was amazed that there were no ropes around the cars or security guards telling people not to get too close. Somehow, here in this middle-of-nowhere city, people simply had enough common sense to not lay hands on other people's stuff. It would take a miracle for this to happen back in LA.

I got to meet George, whose Evo was also left outside until most of the original batch of cars left. Hopefully when he's in LA next time, I'll see him at one of the big SGV or Orange County events. We all stuck around until most of the show cars were gone. Besides being respectful of other people's cars, most people here were also smart enough to pull out of the lot without doing anything that would attract cops or cause neighbors to complain. Maybe it's because there weren't a hundred leapers standing on the sidewalk urging drivers to show off. But honestly, I hope things will stay this way. There was only one thing I regretted - not having time to get in the long line for the coffee and apple strudel!

The drive back to Fremont involved slightly more traffic, but thanks to warmer weather, we got to enjoy most of it with the Porsche's top down. Apparently 80-something-degree weather is considered a heat wave up north. But at least it made me feel perfectly at home. Tiffany had been up for a while already, and after Jeff and I returned, the three opus grabbed lunch nearby at Old Taro - my first exposure to the Asian-dominated areas of Fremont. We went for the classic Taiwanese dishes - beef stew noodle soup, pork chop, popcorn chicken, and green onion pancake. Not that there were too many other choices anyway. But when it comes to Taiwanese food, sometimes it's the simplicity that makes it most authentic.

The rest of the day was spent hanging out with Sophia. (Jeff gladly joined us on all of our Bay Area adventures too - It doesn't hurt to meet new friends!) We met up at the oh-so-appropriately-named San Francisco Premium Outlets... in Livermore. After some shopping, Jeff and I, both of whom were starting to feel the effects of waking up at ungodly hours, got some Starbucks to keep ourselves going. I rarely actually go out and buy coffee - In fact, I can probably use one hand to count the number of times I've bought Starbucks since my last Nor-Cal visit. But on trips like this, it's very assuring to know that, thanks to multiple gift cards accumulated over the years, sugar and caffeine are never too far away. Besides, given that Tiffany is a teacher, I'm sure our stash of gift cards will be replenished once Christmas comes around.

The decision of where to go for dinner was, unsurprisingly, left to the Elite Yelper among us. And her choice was quite a surprise - Indian-style pizza! We went to Tandoori Pizza in nearby Dublin and enjoyed a large pizza with chicken and Indian spices. Sophia claims there's nothing to do in Pleasanton, but on the way back to Jeff's after taking her home, we stumbled upon a festive street lined with restaurants and other attractions. Maybe that's something we can explore next time. Even though this Nor-Cal trip was twice as long as my previous one, the same problem remained - There was far too much to see and do in far too little time.

Sunday (10/09) - With another busy day ahead, what better way to start things off than some quality sleep? After all, I can't go to car shows every single morning, right? We met up with Elizabeth for lunch at the Little Taipei plaza, an area I think of as the Valley Boulevard of Fremont; there were plenty of boba shops, Asian restaurants, and a 99 Ranch Market. (Okay, fine, "Ranch 99".) We wandered the block to decide where to eat, and probably changed our minds about three of four times before getting seated in Mom's Tofu House. Thinking back now, I think we were a little indecisive back in college too, especially when it came to food. Okay, fine, very indecisive. But we were rarely in a rush to decide where to eat because we were always sitting in my dorm room sipping tea. That's why, after enjoying our delicious Korean food, we headed over to Gong Cha for some, um, tea.

Apparently Gong Cha is a (hecka) popular tea house in Nor-Cal. Jeff already had a menu conveniently sitting on his kitchen counter. And not long after we arrived and ordered our drinks, the line was out the door. I wonder when they'll open a branch here in the SGV. Then again, maybe they already have, except there are so many boba shops that I simply didn't notice.

Back at Jeff's we had a little time to rest before heading out to San Francisco. Having heard many people warn me about traffic and parking there, I knew this was a perfect opportunity to finally experience the BART for the first time. Jeff definitely wasn't kidding when he told us the trains were several decades old, but the amount of space inside made the ride feel luxurious compared to my usual LA work commute. Perhaps my opinion will change if I ever ride the BART during rush hour.

We met up with Michelle in San Francisco and enjoyed an early dinner at Mission Street Oyster Bar on (drumroll...) Mission Street, complete with fresh oysters, fish, and plenty of punny jokes. Then we had ice cream nearby at By-Rite Creamery. It's one of those small dessert spots that constantly has a super long line, but hey, we were tourists, so we fit in perfectly. I opted out of my usual favorite ice cream flavors to consider something more unique; after a small sample of the apple cider and bourbon flavor, I was sold.

We didn't stay out too late because it would take another hour-long BART ride to get back to Fremont. Plus, it's probably not smart to be out on the streets of SF late at night anyway. By this point on our journey, I had been away from home for long enough that I had pretty much lost sense of what day it was or what was going on outside of my little vacation bubble. But another day had come to an end, and after a good night's sleep, it would be time to start heading home.

Monday (10/10) - The drive home often feels like the longest part of a vacation. But of course, Tiffany and I weren't about to go home without first taking advantage of a few more stops along the way. I had already filled up my gas (and put a little more air in the slowly leaking tire), and we had already packed most out our things before going to sleep, so hitting the road at 7:00 wasn't too difficult. (It also helped to realize that most other people out at that time were headed to work while we were still happily enjoying our vacation.) Thanks to Jeff's warning about rush hour traffic on the 880, we took a different route that put us well ahead of schedule to our first stop - Hearst Castle.

It was a bit strange for Tiffany and me to suddenly be alone by ourselves again. The highway led us through patches of eerily heavy fog, with occasional bursts of the morning sunshine. When the sky cleared up, we were winding through a bunch of mountains somewhere in the middle of California, and the scenery was amazing. With time to spare, we decided to pull over, take some pictures, and soak in the fresh air. For as long as I can remember, I've dreamed of enjoying a road trip in which I could make random stops and take advantage of the beauty that is too often seen only through windows without feeling like I'm holding anybody back. Now that I've planned my own road trip to enjoy with the best companion I could have asked for, we got to fulfill that dream together.

And things got better. The highway led us straight to the Pacific coastline, and we arrived in San Simeon almost a whole hour earlier than planned, thanks also to Tiffany's suggestion to eat our own food for lunch rather than buy food at the Hearst visitor center. Most people associate the Hearst name with the famous castle, but few are familiar with Hearst Memorial Beach, just across the highway from the castle entrance. And that's exactly where we went for our spontaneous lunch picnic.

It was at that point that I realized just how precious an opportunity this was. With most people busy grinding through their Monday at work without giving any thought to poor Columbus, the parking lot was almost entirely empty, and so was the pier. And unlike most beaches we've been to, there were no shops, entertainers, restaurants, or even boats (aside from a small group of kayakers near the otherwise empty beach). The morning fog was still somewhat heavy along the coast. We walked down to the end of the long pier, where we enjoyed undisturbed views and sounds of both the ocean ahead of us and the coastline behind us. The waves crashed constantly beneath our feet. It was so frightening, yet so peaceful. At that moment, I suddenly came to a deeper understanding of what it means when the Bible says to "fear" the Lord. Being in the presence of such great beauty and such great power left me no choice but to respond with humble adoration of the Creator. Tiffany and I embraced each other, letting this unforgettable experience sink into our hearts. We could have probably stood there together until our legs became too weak to carry us.

Of course, we took plenty of pictures there, and Tiffany added a few more critters to her Pokemon collection. (What the heck was a Meowth doing in the middle of the ocean!?) We met an Israeli couple on vacation who was visiting several of the same places we were and eventually heading to LA. Who knows, maybe I'll run into them sometime on my commute to and from work. Tiffany and I enjoyed our lunch near the beach, then headed toward the castle.

For those who haven't been to Hearst Castle, the process can be a bit confusing. The actual castle is far up in the hills and can only be accessed by a shuttle from the visitor center. Admission includes the shuttle rides, your choice of several guided tours, and an introductory movie at the visitor center theatre (that you can watch anytime either before or after the tour.) The inside of the castle can only be accessed during the guided tour, but afterwards you can wander the outer grounds until you're ready to hop on a returning shuttle. We chose the "Grand Rooms" tour - the most common choice for first-time visitors, and had just enough time to catch the movie before our shuttle began its uphill journey. The ride took us through various parts of the unbelievably large Hearst property, and we were greeted with a herd of African sheep, part of Hearst's original animal collection. (There are also zebras that still roam the hills today, but they decided not to come out and say hi this time.) From the entrance where the shuttle stopped, getting to the actual castle still required a good amount of uphill walking. (Come on, did you expect to arrive at an old castle using an escalator?) But every step was undoubtedly worthwhile.

Tiffany and I may not be particularly knowledgable about history or architecture. But the attention to detail in just about every corner was truly fascinating, especially when paired with the rich history behind the castle's creation. Oh, and the view, which includes the beach we had just enjoyed lunch at, was spectacular. There's something truly amazing about how a single man can go so far behind what the world considers possible to fulfill a dream that sums up his life's greatest accomplishments and experiences. Quite inspiring, if you ask me.

As Tiffany and I resumed our southbound drive, we made another stop at a nearby coastal vantage point, now devoid of fog, for a few more photos. There was just one last stop before heading home - the charming Danish town of Solvang.

We could have stayed near the Hearst property longer in hopes of catching one of those zebras, but had to leave in order to arrive in Solvang before sunset. Most of the bakeries and gift shops close in the evening, and the unique architecture is best seen under natural sunlight. I found it a little funny how several of the Danish-styled buildings are occupied by familiar names like Domino's and Subway. But hey, everyone's gotta have some good ol' pizza and subs, right? After all, this is a major tourist attraction. But this was not one of those attractions that takes advantage of visitors for the sake of business. (Citywide parking is all free!) Everything we saw seemed to aim at the simple goal of making people smile as they came to say hello.

It didn't take too long to stroll through most of Solvang's major streets. If you have no idea what to see or do in Solvang, the city's visitor website does a great job of listing pretty much all the major attractions (although the locations on the map can be quite misleading.) We visited a few shops, took lots of pictures, and explored an old mission. As for dinner, I made a reservation at Bit O' Denmark, the oldest food establishment in Solvang. After all, the Danish experience wasn't complete without some Danish food. (Come on, did you think we went all the way out there to eat Subway?) The medisterpoise (sausage) and frickadeller (meatballs) were great, and so were the ebelskivers (Danish pancakes). Live piano music and home-like decorations made the experience especially cozy.

We would have topped things off with a cocktail or two if it weren't for the two-and-a-half-hour drive home that still awaited us. It was on that drive that we hit heavy traffic for the first time on the trip, thanks to road construction in the middle of a mountain highway. But by then we were so content that nothing else seemed to matter. The only problem was that after four unforgettable days, this adventure was about to come to an end.

Occasionally on the trip when thoughts about my work or my life at home popped into my head, they seemed about as imaginary as memories of the trip do now that it's all over. There hasn't been much time for me to really soak everything in; we got home late Monday night with just enough energy to shower and hop in bed, and the next morning I found myself on the Metro headed Downtown for work. It has been a few days already, and physically I'm still not fully rested. But deep inside, I feel rejuvenated.

People often think of college as some of the most exciting years of their lives, thanks to all the new people they meet and all the new things they do. Yes, the realities of life - work, marriage, children, and all kinds of other responsibilities - might (and probably should) prompt a shift in priorities. But those things don't have to change the heart. By marrying Tiffany, I have seen the friendships around us grow. And by taking responsibility for our daily lives, we've found freedom to enjoy even greater adventures together.

If you were to have told me during my first Nor-Cal trip five years ago that I would be married, living in my own apartment, and working in Downtown LA by the time I visited again, I certainly wouldn't have believed you. With that in mind, I can't help but wonder what things will look like by the time our next visit comes around. Will the friends we see have significant others to introduce to us? Will we have our own additional family members to bring along? All we can do is wait and see.

I can close my eyes right now and fall asleep right away. This is definitely one of those times when exhaustion makes just about everything else seem unimportant. But the images in my head are simply too beautiful and too vivid to dismiss. We've travelled almost 1,000 miles, toured over half a dozen cities, spent time with people we rarely get to see, and gone to places we didn't even know existed before. And as hard as it is to believe, it's not just a dream. This was a real adventure - a fulfillment of a promise, a break from our daily lives, and a rekindling of the spirit of adventure, excitement, and joy that once characterized my life. I once questioned if such a spirit could find ways to remain fervent through the different challenges and stages of life. Now I know that it's really ultimately a choice. And I've chosen to keep it forever.

09/16: Summer has flown by, and this week marked the beginning of a new year's study at Bible Study Fellowship. This year, things seem very different, mainly because Tiffany and I have both "retired" from being discussion group leaders. It was a difficult decision for us to make. But looking back now, we know we did the right thing. With my current work schedule, it's impossible for me to arrive on time for our weekly trainings and unrealistically difficult for us to invest two nights a week in the ministry. But we remain committed to the fellowship, knowing that it not only has been an indescribably great blessing to us, but also will allow us to continue being blessings to many others.

Having both served as leaders for several years, we feel a little strange showing up at BSF and realizing that we're not "in charge" anymore. To be honest, it's a little disappointing to know that I'm no longer part of the "inner circle" of all the administrative and behind-the-scenes work. But being a leader was never about the title. In fact, attending BSF without an official title is actually a very big relief.

Social interaction has always been one of my weaknesses, and while I thank God for having helped me grow tremendously in the area over the years, including the years I spent as a BSF leader, I still feel that seemingly basic social skills simply don't come naturally to me. When being required to interact with people while carrying the responsibilities of a leader, especially under a rapidly changing system that I was increasingly struggling to adapt to, I often found myself simply avoiding people in fear of making a fool of myself. But now that I'm once again attending BSF simply as a member, I've come to see again what a joy and privilege it is to be part of the lives of so many brothers and sisters. I was overjoyed to see many of the guys in my group last year again and spend time catching up and hearing about the great things God has done in each of their lives. Just as I had prayed for them, they had also prayed for me, and I got to share how great of a blessing it is to have my new job (which began shortly after the final meeting of our last study). Without the burden of a title, I feel like I actually connect with people better now. And regardless of who has been in charge or who is now in charge, the most important thing is that we've all developed solid friendships centered around a love for God's Word. It just happens that many of us have been assigned to the same group again this year, and I look forward to the privilege of continuing to pray for them and study God's Word with them on a weekly basis.

This year's BSF study is on the book of John. While it may seem much easier to understand than last year's Revelation study, I know that the "easiness" can easily become my enemy. I shared with my new group how it is challenging for me to study a book that's so familiar because my existing knowledge often gets in the way of my ability to keep an open mind and open heart. God's Word is full of new things to learn, no matter how many times I've read it. So I pray that I will approach this year's study of John with a humble and teachable attitude, letting God instruct me each day through the power of His Word and guide each relationship formed according to His will.

09/07: Last weekend I had the privilege of watching John Williams and the L.A. Philharmonic perform at the Hollywood Bowl, thanks to a church friend who organized the outing and invited Tiffany and me to join. Surprisingly, given how professional orchestra concerts are often associated with wealthier and more well-established individuals, and how John Williams pretty much single-handedly spearheaded the film music genre as we know it today, tickets for the show were very affordable. Of course, that's because we opted for seats in the far back, which also gave us the luxury of using the space behind our seats as a picnic area. But while everybody else in our group was busy figuring out what food and drinks to bring, I knew exactly what I planned on bringing - a pen and a notebook to jot down orchestration techniques.

We had purchased our tickets months in advance, but it wasn't until a few weeks before the concert that I began to realize what was happening. I'm a music composition graduate who has studied orchestration professionally and is crazy enough to spend countless hours of my precious free time writing and scoring orchestral music. For me, going to see John Williams in concert is like most people going to see their favorite pop singer or rock star and flipping out with excitement over the whole experience. Williams has written many of my favorite film scores, and given how those scores are not only something I enjoy, but also something I model my own creativity after, this concert should be nothing short of life-changing.