12/31: 2016 Reflections

As a child, I once believed that certain milestones in life like getting married, starting a full-time job, living independently, and having children would force me to let go of who I was and become a new, more mature person, and that becoming such a person would be the only way to survive the challenges that come with those milestones. That was my mentality even after graduating from college; while I had changed and grown significantly during my college years, I still believed that "growing up" was something I didn't really have to worry about until much later in life. It's crazy how fast time has flown by. Another year is coming to an end, and this year marked my first full year of marriage and independent living. I got a new job and faced changes in many areas that could impact my life for years to come. But through all these things, have I really become a new person?

Career - After over a year of trying to find a long-term career direction and waiting for the outcomes of my attempts, I finally began receiving interviews for City jobs in January. In May, I left Agape Shipping after five and a half years of employment to begin a new job at the City's Bureau of Sanitation (5/30 entry). At last, Tiffany and I were making enough money together each month to balance out our expenses. I applied many of the things I learned at work to our home life in the form of a detailed accounting and budgeting spreadsheet, which has not only helped us understand our spending habits and identify ways to save money, but also allowed us to freely enjoy life within our budget without worrying about overspending. In November, I completed my six-month probationary period at work. The more time I spend in the office, the more I see how blessed I am. I've gained valuable wisdom in not only how to complete my work, but also how to relate to co-workers and function in a large professional setting. I'm currently preparing and studying for an upcoming promotional opportunity and trusting God to continue opening and closing doors in His perfect timing.

Music - On top of serving in various volunteer music ministries, including coaching my church's youth worship team members, I had the privilege of playing at a wedding as a hired vendor and scoring parts for a rap show which I also performed in (5/22 entry). While professional opportunities were few, each helped me understand more deeply who I am as a musician. I also reached a personal milestone by releasing my first album in April. Consisting of instrumental pieces originally written for and inspired by my relationship with Tiffany and our wedding day, it was an idea I had since the time we got engaged. Finalizing all the music on the album required lots of discipline and countless hours of editing, and thanks to the generous help of Uncle Samuel in his studio, the resulting product was a dream come true. There is still a lot that needs to be done in terms of promoting the album, but I know that God knows my strengths and weaknesses and will guide me to use what I have to bless others. In the mean time, work has already started on my second album. I had hoped to incorporate a lot more orchestral music in the new album, and attending a John Williams concert in September gave me the confirmation of how much I truly love orchestral music and need to develop my skills in that area (9/07 entry).

Family - In February, Mom, Carol, and I made the difficult decision of putting Ginger to sleep, ending over 17 years of making precious memories together (2/15 entry). We knew that it would liberate him from the increasing suffering that plaged him, but even now it still brings tears to my eyes each time I realize that he's no longer with us. On a lighter note, Mom celebrated her 60th birthday, an occasion that brought friends and family together to recognize all that she has humbly invested in those around her and reminded me of the great value of loving my family and serving others (3/1 entry). Also, we welcomed the birth of Carol and Brandon's new baby girl Keona. It's definitely a huge blessing and joy to see four generations present at family gatherings. For various reasons which we have all agreed is in our family's best interest, I recently began the process of clearing out my old room at Mom's house (where I still kept many of my belongings) and moving everything away. It will definitely be strange to return to Mom's in the future and realize more clearly than ever before that it's no longer my "home". But family will always be family, and regardless of age or life stage, that will never change.

Marriage - Tiffany and I celebrated our first Valentine's Day as a married couple, as well as the one-year anniversary of our wedding (7/18 entry). We continue to go on dinner dates every week and occasionally find new activities or destinations to enjoy together. We're both still okay with the fact that she likes spending hours watching TV while I enjoy obsessively going to car shows. But the longer we spend our daily lives together, the more we see additional, less easily noticeable differences that would often lead to conflict, usually in the way we set priorities, make decisions, or respond to various situations. We continue to see marriage as a process of growing together, and through discovering our differences, learning to apologize, and lovingly pointing out each other's mistakes, we're glad to say we're still growing stronger. Even when we often must plan our day based on how much money we have or what groceries we need rather than which movie we want to watch or what restaurant we want to eat at, we find ways to tell each other through our words, choices, and actions that we love each other and will always continue to do so.

Friendships - In October, I fulfilled my dream from over five years ago to return to Nor-Cal to visit friends for a second time (10/14 entry). Only this time, I got to enjoy the trip with Tiffany and partake in some sightseeing together on the way there and back. I'm glad to say that the friendships I've maintained from college and from the old GCCI days are still standing strong, and that we look forward to every opportunity we have to spend time together. I have to admit it's challenging to come to terms with the fact that the friends who have known me for a long time (since the years prior to dating/marriage) are mostly those who I don't get to see often, while the friends who I get to see regularly, whether at BSF, at church, or at car shows, are mostly those who I have met in more recent years and have yet to connect with at a deeper level. It's no surprise that much of my energy and resources now are invested in my relationship with Tiffany. But that's not an excuse to neglect the valuable friends that God has blessed me with, and I must continue to uphold my belief since college of effortfully building and investing in friendships.

Leadership/Ministry - At the end of our BSF Revelation study, Tiffany and I both decided to resign from being discussion group leaders, largely because the required time commitment became too difficult for us to manage (5/11 entry). I hadn't started my new job at the time, but it turned out my schedule wouldn't allow me to attend our weekly leadership trainings anyway. Tiffany and I now lead musical worship together once every few weeks, alowing us to continue serving God and serving others at BSF and do so together as a couple. It's strange to attend the current BSF John study and realize that we're no longer group leaders, but we are constantly reminded that hungering for God's Word is far more important than any leadership position. As for the extra time (and energy) we have, we've both taken on additional roles at our church, her as a musical worship team leader and me as a teacher for our adult Sunday School classes. The invitation to become a Sunday School teacher was truly humbling, as I didn't (and still don't) consider myself wise or mature enough to teach a class whose students are mostly much older than me. But by God's grace I prepared each lesson, taught it, and gained precious insight into the topics I had to teach on. I continue to learn not only about God's character, but also about how to be firm about what's right and what's wrong while being loving and kind to both those I work with and those I lead.

Faith - Through the changes that have taken place in each of these areas over the past year, I've come to see that it's impossible for me to live a purposeful and fulling life by my own means, and that's why I must always remember to put my faith fully in God. In the months that I spent waiting for job interview opportunities, not knowing when, if ever, a door would open for me, I spent many hours in prayer and enjoyed activities such as hiking that helped me gain a greater awareness of God's constant beauty and presence (5/12 entry). I came to terms with the reality that nothing in this world, no matter how desirable, can fully satisfy me; true peace and joy can only come through acknowledging that God is powerful and sovereign over all things, has control over the timing of every event, and only intends to do what's best, allowing everything to happen only if He has good reasons for doing so. He was, and still is, my comfort in times of loss, my companion when feeling lonely, my wisdom in periods of confusion, and my peace when wrestling with challenges.

Have all these changes really made me a new person? While each situation has prompted me to grow and adapt in various ways, some much more quickly than others, at the end of the day I still feel like myself. Yes, I've changed, discovered more of who I am, and become more mature in many ways. But I still have a long way to go, and until the day I meet Jesus face to face, I'll always have a long way to go. Maturity is not an absolute measurement; no matter how far I've traveled down any road, there will always be people I need to turn back to help and people I need to go faster to catch up to. It's not about becoming a different person, but rather learning who I am in each step of life's journey. In the new year, I plan to finally go with Tiffany on our honeymoon once I receive vacation days in May. Having kids and purchasing property are definitely part of our hopes and plans for the near future, too. As I learn more and more to shift my overall mentality to more long-term thinking, I pray for discipline in exercising my musical gifts and seeking professional experience, effort in investing in family and friendships, and wisdom to grow in marriage and make right decisions. And in all these things, I must remember to put God first and seek spiritual growth through Scripture, relationships, and leadership, so that in every situation I can have peace knowing that I am not only who God made me to be, but also where He wants me to be.

12/13: The Burden of Excellence

Sometimes when Tiffany and I go out in public, we see parents who clearly have no idea how to handle their young children. Tiffany often feels an almost irresistible urge to counsel them, while I prefer to simply look away and continue walking. I quickly convince myself that I have no reason to get involved, because it's not my child, it's not my life, and it's really none of our business. Seems like an easy conclusion, right? But that's where Tiffany and I are different; she has a degree in Early Childhood Development, and I know pretty much nothing about working with young kids.

Neither of us is necessarily right or wrong in how to handle such situations, and it takes wisdom to decide what to do in each case. But my point is that with education and experience comes a strong burden that causes a person to see certain parts of the world differently. A firefighter walking down the street would naturally recognize and feel compelled to correct potentially hazardous objects that others may overlook. A doctor eating with friends would naturally identify foods with great health risks that others may be unaware of. Most of us can can name specific pieces of the world around us that we see in more detail and with more knowledge than most others do. And when the world fails to recognize the value of our contribution and refuses to accept it, we feel defeated by the weight of our burdens.

For me, that burden is in music. With many years of training, a college degree, a natural gifting, and professional-level experience, all of which I humbly consider gifts from God, I carry the burden of blessing the world around me through making good music. The problem is that in a time when just about anyone who can strum a few chords or carry a tune can have access to positions of musical influence, too many people think they know it all when in reality their works are virtually unpresentable by educated standards. I'm definitely not saying that I know it all; in fact, I constantly desire to know more and crave opportunities to work with musicians who challenge and inspire me to strive to reach their levels. But the unfortunate truth is that very few such opportunities have been available to me. Music, like just about all other fields, involves lots of teamwork, and most of the "musicians" I work with leave me feeling like I'm surrounded by a bunch of elementary-level children who act and talk like they have Ph.D's.

There have been a handful of times when I became so frustrated by such blindness that I had to step out of an event as soon as my role was done and be alone until I could cool down and think straight again. I don't have a Ph.D either, but in such situations my level of God-given experience and knowledge allows me to see clearly that others are not only operating at immature levels (which every expert must humbly start with), but also unwilling to accept their positions and seek to grow. And even the best of experts should desire to keep growing! During these times of disappointment, I see a tiny glimpse of the pain Jesus felt as He tirelessly taught the truth of salvation which He knew with full confidence, only to be mocked and rejected by those who chose to remain blinded to their deepest needs. What a great burden He must have carried as He, making every effort to share the Truth, watched so many people walk helplessly into condemnation!

Jesus stood for excellence, and so do I. Just as every doctor, firefighter, and child development expert should strive to do his/her best to positively impact the surrounding world, those who make music, whether professionally or recreationally, should strive for and uphold a high standard of excellence, especially in a time when fundamental aspects of quality in popular music are quickly declining. And while many are quick to distinguish between themselves and "real musicians", the truth is that anyone who voluntarily stands in a position of influence involving the making of music is, at the moment, a musician. Nowhere should this be more true than in the church; if we truly believe in God and are aware that He actively receives our musical worship, we really have no excuse to give Him anything less than our best.

But excellence is far more than just putting our knowledge and skills to good use, and that's often where the burden becomes even heavier. Despite having certainty and superior knowledge of the Truth, Jesus never stopped loving people and exercising wisdom in His actions and speech, even when He was mocked and rejected. Perhaps He, in order to ease His burden and help people see right from wrong, could have performed a miracle to open their eyes and change their hearts. But He didn't, because He was obedient and submissive to the Father's perfect will and timing. In terms of outward performance, God doesn't expect any more from us than what we're capable of in each situation. (After all, He's the one that gives us all our abilities.) But He does expect us to do our best, and that means not only carrying out our skills and striving to improve, but also doing so with humility and wisdom, loving others and submitting to God's will and timing as Jesus did.

And that's where I see a major weakness in myself. My great passion for musical excellence, which often exceeds that of those around me, often makes it challenging to remember to encourage, forgive, and love them. Earlier I mentioned that my education, talents, and experience are all gifts from God. If I truly believe that, then I should also believe that He has a reason for giving me these gifts. There must be a reason He blesses me with a college degree in music but surrounds me with people who have little or no professional training. There must be a reason He puts me in situations that leave me feeling like I want to do more with my gifts. If God gave me these gifts, then surely the desired outcome of what He wants me to do with them is also in His control. I have much to learn about how to properly carry my burden of excellence, and I will humbly submit to God, allowing Him to teach me and use me according to His perfect will and timing.

12/09: Several years ago I made the decision to "monetize" the Exotic Affinity YouTube channel. My goal was not, and still is not, to earn large amounts of money, but rather to continue sharing my passion for extraordinary cars with the world while generating some funds to cover the occasional costs of maintaining the channel and the hobby. This proved especially beneficial as I began dating and eventually got married, since it allows the hobby to be a financially independent entity that does not interfere with relationships or family expenses. (And thankfully, Tiffany understands our differences and gives me time to go out and enjoy being a car nerd!)

The truth is that I can make much more money begging on the streets than I do now watching my YouTube view count increase every day. (Because my focus really isn't on money, I don't go to the extent that many others do to turn their channels into significant sources of revenue.) But because almost all the events I attend are free, the money does build up slowly over time. And that means every once in a while, I get to treat myself to some important equipment upgrades. There were a few things I had been wanting (and somewhat needing) to buy for quite some time, and great Cyber Monday prices helped seal the deals for me.

12/07: A friend I had known for over a year saw me eating a hot dog and commented that he thought I was a vegetarian because he knew I went to church on Sundays. I was very surprised and explained to him that aside from a few very conservative denominations, Christianity doesn't have any dietary restrictions. It turned out he had only one other friend who he knew was a Christian, and that friend was a vegetarian, leading him to conclude that I must be one too. Thankfully, I can enjoy hot dogs without feeling like I'm committing a sin, and I was glad to help clear up the misconception for him. But that incident made me realize how easy it can be to have false ideas of an entire group of people based on just one experience. I admit I can be overly judgmental of others, and because my daily life now involves interacting with people of very diverse backgrounds, it's very easy (and often tempting) to let particular interactions with individuals lead to inaccurate concolusions about their entire ethnic group, religious affiliation, or social class.

"Going to church means I must wear a suit and follow a bunch of formal rules." "Christians hate gays and lesbians." "Churchgoers don't know how to have fun, and everything they talk about revolves around Jesus." "Christians are just a bunch of self-righteous hypocrites who tell everyone else that they're wrong and that they're going to burn in hell." Honestly speaking, if this is what Christianity is all about, then I'd be an idiot for choosing to follow this path. While statistics and stereotypes are usually based on factual evidence, it's important to remember that every individual is unique, and not one person is without flaws. Whether you live by religious teachings, legal policies, or personal moral standards, I'm pretty sure you've broken the rules at least once.

And so have I. On behalf of Christians, I confess that I'm a sinner, and that I continue to struggle daily with sin that can make others not want to follow Jesus in fear of turning out just like me. I confess that I, like all other true Christians, have failed countless times to live by God's perfect standards. I confess that many times I've lost sight of what it really means to be a Christian, and as a result lived in ways that distract people from the Truth and reinforce stereotypes that make them shy away from us. Religion isn't about following what a bunch of other people do, but rather seeking ansers to questions of critical importance that we often choose not to think about. "How did the world come into existence?" "Why do we exist?" "What happens to people after death?" "Are there such things as heaven and hell?" "Does a divine being really exist?" Our answers to these questions will determine the way we live our lives.

In order to know the truth about Christianity while taking into account the imperfect nature of all people, it's important to look past all the stereotypes and go straight to the source - the life and teachings of Jesus Christ Himself. Regardless of how people have made it seem otherwise, true Christians are followers of Jesus who, though far from perfect to begin with, should strive to be more and more like Him. Recently I studied a Bible passage that can really help Christians see how we should live and help others see what our God is all about-

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." (John 8:3-11)

There are two glaringly opposite things that I want to point out here - Jesus' attitude toward sin and Jesus' attitude toward sinners.

Let's start with Jesus' attitude toward sin. Jesus is honest, confrontational, and intolerant of sin. He is God, and God's perfect and holy standards do not allow any amount of sin. Rather than giving the Pharisees what they want, He quickly points out their sinful motives. And rather than letting the woman return to her lifestyle, He tells her to leave her life of sin. The Bible makes it clear that "the wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23). Whether it's a blatant act of adultery or an accusation rooted in self-righteousness against someone else, all sin deserves capital punishment by God's standards. This leads many people to think of the Christian God as overly harsh. But what good is a God - or any other authority - that has no set standard of distinguishing right from wrong? As much as we'd like to believe otherwise, our legal systems and governing authorities cannot be completely failproof, simply because we are imperfect and all have different standards based on our limited knowledge and unique experiences. It only makes sense that if there's really a God, He would sit above all the world's thrones and judge by His standard, of which we all have fallen short and continue to fall short.

Now let's look at Jesus' attitude toward sinners - basically all people. Jesus is loving, compassionate, and accepting toward sinners. He hates every sin ever committed throughout history, yet He loves every person who ever walked the earth. Why? Because we are God's creation. (Read Genesis to get the full story on how God intricately made mankind in His image.) If God created something then gave up on His own creation after seeing its bad side, then how is He a perfect, all-powerful God? As our Creator, God knows each of us better than we know ourselves. He knows we sin and fall short of His standards. He knows that no matter how hard we try, even the best of us will never be good enough to enter heaven by our own means. Young old, black, white, rich, poor, gay, lesbian, criminal, prostitute, homeless, disabled, uneducated, undocumented, minority... each of us is His unique creation, made in His image, tainted by sin, and desperate for a savior to wash away our sins and make us once again acceptable by His perfect standards. And He, knowing our greatest need, sent Jesus to live in the world, experience all the pain, challenges, and temptation we still face today, and die innocently on the cross as a punishment for all the sins of the world - past, present, and future. That leaves each of us with a choice of whether or not to believe in Him and receive His gift of forgiveness and eternal life.

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). Many people read this and conclude that Christians are narrow-minded. But remember, we didn't write our own Bible. Historical and archaeological evidence inreasingly points to the accuracy and authenticity of Scripture. And if God is real and the Bible is really the Truth, then choosing to believe otherwise would really be a tragic loss. That's why it seems like Christians talk about Jesus all the time - He changed our lives, and we know that others need Him just as much as we do. Christianity isn't about rules and formalities. In fact, if it is, then you and I would have both failed already, and heaven would be a ghost town. The Pharisees try many times to use their own knowledge to trap Jesus and judge others, but Jesus reminds them that none of them - and none of us - is worthy of casting the first stone of condemnation against another.

The why are Christians so condemning? Again, I confess that we're not perfect, and we often don't live as we should. We are just as prone to selfishness as everyone else, and we often choose to love sin and hate sinners rather than follow Jesus' example. We, like the very people Jesus criticized, often take individual pieces of Scripture, add our own interpretation, and use it to our own benefit while failing to see the big picture. Yes, that makes us hypocrites. But hypocrisy is a natural outcome of imperfect people striving to live by a higher standard. It's better to be unintentially hypocritical in the process of growing stronger than to be hypocrisy-free through settling for lower standards. Christians are called to live by a very high standard, because we follow and serve a God whose standard is perfect and holy. But that high standard isn't to condemn and judge others, but rather to follow Jesus' example of hating sin but loving people.

As Christians, our goal, even when pointing out others' sins, should be to help others see the truth about mankind's greatest need and invite them to receive the only gift that can satisfy that need. Many will simply argue that "religion is for the weak". And guess what, that's absolutely correct! "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance" (Luke 5:31-32). It's hard to believe that we often think of ourselves as so incredibly strong and smart when, in reality, we have neither fully explored the depth of our planet nor traveled to the ends of our universe, and not a single one of us has control over when we will take our final breath and leave behind everything we've accumulated. And it's tragic that so many people who live by their own wisdom will one day be humbled before their Creator with no time left to repent. Even the strongest of us is still weak, prone to mistakes and subject to all the frail limitations of human life. With that in mind, only a fool would ignore the questinos of how/why we exist and whether or not God exists in order to focus on our temporary life here on earth. I no longer want be the kind of Christian that leaves people with false ideas of who Jesus is, and I no longer want to fall for the temptation of prematurely or hypocritically judging others. I wish and pray that, regardless of your religious standpoint, you would consider taking some time to explore these life-changing questions and join me in letting those conclusions shape the way we live.

11/17: I was sent out to a training and orientation session today in place of completing my usual daily work routine, and the facility was conveniently located right across the street from Dockweiler Beach. I had considered bringing some sandals and shorts and enjoying a little personal relaxation time after the training, but the realization of how crazy L.A. traffic can be made me decide to just get my butt back home as quickly as possible. Spending almost four hours on the road on a single day made me more thankful than ever before that my normal daily commute consists of simply driving to the Metro station less than a mile from home and letting the trains take care of everything else.

That's only one of many things I'm thankful for regarding my job. And the list is constantly growing. Just yesterday, I completed my six-month probationary period as a Management Assistant. Things really don't feel all that different (other than getting paid to enjoy that beachfront facility today), but it's good to know that, at last, I've managed to secure a stable and growth-oriented long-term career.

Throughout these past six months, I've met many co-workers who are also relatively new to City employment, and through our conversations about the journeys that brought us together, I've come to a much better understanding of how the hiring and selection process actually works. Having had very little experience with job applications, interviews, and resumes, I had to figure out most of the City's elaborate hiring process on my own. (And to this day, I still haven't fully wrapped my head around it.) Looking back now, I can see that some of the things I did were smart and beneficial while others were redundant or simply stupid. I now know that there were even a few steps in the process of me getting this job that, though I didn't know at the time, had put me in very unlikely circumstances. Most people around me may see them simply as strokes of luck. But I know that even those unlikely situations were part of God's intricate plan to lead me where He wants me to be and help me grow throughout the journey.

Now that I'm "officially" hired, the journey definitely doesn't end here. Part of the reason I left my previous job was that there wasn't much suitable room for long-term advancement, and most of the effort I invested would result in little or no reward. Now, there are all kinds of personal and occupational advancement opportunities ahead of me. If I don't continue to grow, there is no one to blame but myself. Of course, taking advantage of these opportunities, whether on a short-term or long-term level, requires a shift in the ways I've become accustomed through past experience to doing, thinking about, and talking about things. Even after six months, I still sometimes catch myself falling into cycles of the past that prevent me from seeing my current reality. But that's definitely changing, and the more it changes, the more I realize just how blessed I am.

I'm definitely not saying that everything with my job now is perfect. Every job has its ups and downs, and every person has different strengths and weaknesses. In the past when I faced work-related challenges, I couldn't clearly distinguish whether they stemmed from management- or industry-related problems or from my own character flaws, simply because it was my first full-time office job. Now that I'm experiencing the working world through an entirely different environment, I've come to see more and more that while many of my beliefs about management flaws and industry-related problems were accurate, there are also many challenges I faced then that I still face today despite the drastic difference in environment, leading me to humbly conclude that I must constantly acknowledge my personal flaws and strive to improve in those areas.

And I'm just as thankful for that as I am for the job itself. After all, most would agree that an ideal job is one that offers room to grow just as much as it offers financial satisfaction. The main reason I left my two previous jobs was that I had reached places where any further growth would be very limited. Only God knows how long I will sit in my current position or how far City employment will eventually lead me, and I will humbly trust that He opens and closes every door based on what He knows is best in the long run. But for now, I'm definitely thankful to be right where I am.

11/02: It's no surprise that as the holiday season approaches, office life tends to feel a little more festive and relaxed. I've heard a lot about various parties and activities that I will soon experience for the first time. But for now, one thing I know for sure is that I feel more relaxed simply because there are so many darn holidays to look forward to.

Like many City employees with regular hours, I enjoy the luxury of a 9/80 work schedule, which, for those unfamiliar with the term, means that I work nine-hour days but get every other Friday off. This Friday happens to be one of them. Plus, the month of November has an especially high number of national holidays - Next Friday is Veteran's Day, and two weeks from then is Thanksgiving (during which we get both Thursday and Friday off). If you're doing the calculation with me, you probably see where I'm going - The combination of Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving, and my RDO's (Regular Days Off) means that the next time I'll get to see my cubicle on a Friday is December 9.

I also heard somewhere that once I complete six months at my job (which will be in a few weeks), I'll get a "floating holiday" that will go to waste if it's not used by the end of the calendar year. While I have no particular plans on how or when to use it, I'm definitely entertained by the thought of using it on December 9. Why? Because the following Friday will be my RDO again. And the weekend after that will be Christmas, followed by New Year's. That would make a total of nine consecutive long weekends - In other words, nonstop long weekends until 2017 and plenty of bragging rights to drive other people nuts with.

Of course, being more relaxed isn't an excuse to lose my focus, especially when there are several important milestones to reach in the near future. A couple weeks from now, I will have completed my six-month probationary period. An opportunity is opening soon for me to register for a big promotional exam that I have spent countless hours preparing for. An upcoming weekend training course should give me a more clear direction of how to better prepare. And while no official dates have been announced yet, there is plenty of speculation that the exam itself will take place within the next few months.

It's really hard for me to gauge how well I think I'll be able to do and whether or not I'll be able to obtain the promotion. But I pray, just as I did earlier this year before getting this job in the first place, that whether God opens a door or closes a door, I will remember to depend on Him, rather than on the things He gives me, as my provider and my source of true satisfaction. And as the holiday season comes closer, I pray that it will make me even more thankful for all that I've already been blessed with.